Okay, everyone! Here's another musical one-shot. This is basically a rewrite of a story I deleted some time ago, "Nathan's Girl," which I wrote before Luka made his debut. But now I decided to rewrite it with Luka in the role of Jessie in "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield!

Now a synopsis (even though I'm sure everyone knows this song by now): Adrien and Luka are bandmates and long-time friends, but Luka's recently gotten himself a girlfriend, Marinette. But Adrien has feelings for her too, and the jealousy is tearing him up inside. He wants to respect Bro Code by keeping quiet about his feelings, but at the same time, he wants Marinette for himself.

By the way, this is a No Miraculous, Aged Up AU.

An alarm blared from a phone, playing a song from Jagged Stone's newest album blared out in the bedroom of a luxurious bachelor apartment in the middle of Paris, France.

A hand snaked itself out from under the duvet cover and the index finger tapped the phone to turn the alarm off. The quiet resumed, but it was accented with the quiet grumbling from under the bed covers.

A youth in his early to mid-twenties, with tan skin, green eyes, and blonde hair sat up and heaved a heavy sigh. He swung his legs out of bed and stood up before trudging his way to his walk-in closet.

A few minutes later, he came back out in blue jeans, orange sneakers, a black shirt and a white button-down.

An old telephone started ringing, and he looked to his phone, which indicated an incoming phone call. The name that came on the screen was "Nino Lahiffe."

He took the phone up and swiped his finger over the screen to answer the call.

"Hey dude," Nino said over the phone. "Just wanted to make sure you were awake for band practice."

"Yeah, I'm awake," He said. "Thanks for checking in on me, Nino."

"No problem, Adrien." Nino replied.

Adrien looked at a black case that was propped up against the wall and he stared at it for a while.

"...You still there, dude?" Nino asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm still here," Adrien confirmed. "Just thinking."

"Thinking about her again?" Nino asked.

Adrien muttered, "Yes."

"Anyway, practice is in a few hours. See you then." Nino said before hanging up the phone.

Adrien heaved a sigh before taking up the black case and leaving his bedroom. In the kitchen, he saw his black cat, Plagg, napping on his bed in the corner. Adrien opened the fridge and extracted a wheel of camembert for the cat.

While holding his nose, Adrien went over to his cat, knelt down and held the cheese out to the black feline.

After a grumpy meow, Plagg snatched up the cheese in his mouth before munching on it.

Adrien let out a laugh before saying, "I'll see you later, Plagg. I have band practice."

Adrien then left the apartment, and locked the door before leaving the complex.

At the recreational center in the center of Paris, in a room that had a stage and some audio equipment, Adrien walked into the room. He he was setting up a ZX-20.4 keyboard. He plugged the instrument into one of the speakers and started to adjust the volume.

Another man his age with short brown hair, tan skin, glasses and hazel eyes while wearing a red cap was standing by.

"Shouldn't they be here by now?" The blonde asked.

"They should be, dude," The brunette replied. "You know how Luka and the rest of the group are sometimes, Adrien."

"You've got a point, Nino..." Adrien muttered as he started tuning up his keyboard. "I always knew you'd help me make friends, especially since the day we first met."

"But...?" Nino probed gently.

"I just never expected my friendship with Luka to take this kind of a turn." Adrien admitted.

Adrien and Luka first met through Nino, who introduced the blonde to life outside the Agreste Mansion. And since they became best friends, Adrien joined Luka's band, Kitty Section, consisting of Luka on electric guitar, his sister Juleka on base, Juleka's girlfriend Rose on vocals, their friend Ivan on drums, and Adrien himself on the keyboard.

"Hey guys, we're here!" A voice shouted as the door opened.

The rest of the band came in. Two girls, one with long black hair with a purple streak, one with short blonde hair with blue eyes and wearing pink. One of them was a taller, heavy-set man with brown hair in a blonde tuft. And finally, one man had blue hair and blue eyes and was carrying a guitar case on his back.

"Sorry we took so long," The blonde girl said. "Luka and Juleka were trying to find the right instruments to use for the rehearsal."

"It's fine," Adrien said as the band came upon the stage. Adrien's eyes drifted to the guitarist. "So... Is she coming?"

"She is. She'll be here to start designing the costumes." Luka confirmed.

Adrien held back a sigh. He took his phone out and looked at a picture of a lovely young lady that was around his age. She had bluish-black hair in a pixie cut and she had blue eyes.

The band started talking about the new song. Adrien participated in the conversation, but whenever a certain name was mentioned, Adrien's head was muddled with a variety of emotions.

About five minutes later, the doors opened up again.

"Sorry I'm late, guys!" A feminine voice squeaked. "Traffic was horrible today!"

Adrien's eyes were glued to the woman who walked in, who was carrying a sketchpad and some papers. Just seeing her fiddling with her hair, her eyes sparkling in the light like blue diamonds, and her voice like a harp's strings being plucked harmoniously. In his eyes, there was no other woman more beautiful in the world.

"No problem, Marinette," Luka said with a smile. "We just got here ourselves. We're just about to get started with rehearsal."

Marinette blushed and giggled as she replied, "Then I'm glad I made it at all."

"Have a seat and we'll get started on practice." Luka said as Marinette sat in one of the house seats. She opened up her sketchbook.

Everyone else started tuning up their instruments.

Adrien saw Luka gazing at the designer and Adrien's own green eyes drifted to Marinette, too. He sighed quietly, catching Nino's attention.

"You okay, dude?" Nino asked as he gently pulled Adrien aside.

"I... I could be better." Adrien admitted before turning his face to Marinette again. He sighed once more.

Adrien gave a sad, solemn nod.

"Hey Adrien, hurry and get back to your keyboard!" Ivan shouted.

"Coming!" Adrien spoke as he went back to his position. He sighed as he put his fingers into position. Nino went off stage and back into the house seats.

"Ready, everyone?" Luka began.

"Yep! One, two, three, now!" Rose sang.

Luka started strumming his guitar. Adrien was waiting for his cue on the keyboard. A neutral look on his face, Adrien was looking at his friend and bandmate as he kept strumming his instrument.

The guitarist's eyes wandered to Marinette every few seconds. Adrien quietly sighed. Luka's demeanor changed in the past few months. He was happier, more inspired in his music, and the blonde knew exactly why.

Adrien looked at Marinette, who was looking between Luka and her sketchbook and she kept scribbling on the paper. Adrien knew that she was the one who triggered this change in Luka.

~Flashback - Six Months Ago~

The band was on the houseboat that Luka and Juleka shared and they were setting up their instruments for practice.

"I'm so excited, Juleka!" Rose said as she was adjusting the microphone height.

Juleka gave a nod in response.

"You're more chipper than usual today, Rose," Adrien said as he was plugging in the keyboard. "What's gotten you so happy?"

Juleka and Rose looked at each other before smiling knowingly.

"Oh, Luka's bringing a special guest! They should be here soon, and I can't wait to meet them!" Rose giggled, excited.

"Really?" Adrien asked. "Someone else to join the band, maybe?"

"Who knows, Adrien?" Ivan commented. "Luka's been pretty secretive about it."

"That's why I'm so excited!" Rose explained.

Adrien had to smile at the sight of his friends.

"There he is! Hey, Luka!" Ivan shouted as he spotted a mop of teal-tipped hair headed their way.

"Hey, guys," Luka said as he walked across the gangplank. "There's someone I want to introduce you to. But she's running a little late..."

"Running late?" Rose asked, but then a beeping noise went off. He picked up his phone.

"Oh, a text. Looks like her meeting ran a bit long," He explained. "She's on her way right now."

Almost on cue, the sound of feet thundering on the gangplank was heard.

"Sorry I'm late!" A familiar voice shouted.

"She's here!" Luka spoke, brightening.

Adrien looked up to see the most unexpected face: Marinette, the newest member of his father's staff at Gabriel and Adrien's crush.

"Marinette?" Adrien asked aloud, surprised.

"Oh, Adrien!" Marinette said as she caught her breath. "I wasn't expecting to see you. I didn't know you were a member of Kitty Section."

"Y-Yeah, I just joined the band a dew weeks ago." Adrien admitted.

"Oh, the two of you know each other?" Rose questioned gleefully.

"We're coworkers at Gabriel." Marinette explained.

"Looks like I don't need to make any introductions between the two of you," Luka said with a chuckle. "This will help things along. I asked Marinette to be our costume designer for the band."

Adrien was elated at the idea. Ever since she started her job, he'd been hoping for a chance to ask her out on a date.

"That's great, Marinette! That means you and I will be seeing more of each other outside of work." Adrien stated with joy.

"Yeah, getting to know you better would be nice." Marinette agreed, sending Adrien's heart aflutter and his cheeks aflame.

"This is a great surprise, Luka!" Rose squealed with delight.

'Yeah, because now I have the chance to win Marinette over!' Adrien thought as he started plotting a way to woo Marinette.

"And that's not the only thing," Luka said, his voice dropping an octave while still sounding happy. He smiled and pulled Marinette closer to him. "Rose, Juleka... Marinette and I started dating a few weeks ago."

One. Two. Three seconds of silence. Rose and Juleka started cheering, Ivan gave Luka his congrats, Marinette was blushing. Adrien on the other hand, felt his heart drop, then shatter like glass.

A proverbial raincloud went over his head as his mind went blank at watching Luka and Marinette holding hands whilst looking each other in the eyes.

"Hey Adrien?" Ivan asked, breaking Adrien out of his stupor.

Adrien quickly shook his head, then asked, "Yeah?"

"Aren't you happy for them?" Ivan questioned, thumb-jerking over to the couple. "I don't think I've seen Luka so happy."

Everyone's smiling eyes went over to Adrien, who went stiff.

"I... I'm happy for you two." Adrien lied, putting on his model smile... But he was crying on the inside.

~End of Flashback~

The blonde heaved a quiet sigh.

Adrien noticed the way Marinette was looking at Luka, totally enamored with him. Her eyes had were sparkling with affection, totally glued to the blue-haired guitar player and only breaking contact when she had to blink. Adrien could swear there were hearts in her eyes.

Oh, how Adrien wished she would look at him like that instead of Luka.

Rehearsal went on for a while. They went through the songs over and over, making tweaks to the notes and the overall flow of the song. The dynamics, the rhythm, timbre, everything had some tweaks done to it.

Once they were finished, Marinette stood up, ran up on stage and threw her arms around her boyfriend. Luka chuckled and picked her up like a princess. He spun her around in his arms before setting her down.

The rest of the band were cooing, sweetly looking on as Luka and Marinette rocked each other in their arms, swaying around. Nino had a neutral expression, but it was Adrien who wasn't having it.

The blonde held back a scowl and his fingers were twitching with disgust and envy. His lower left eyelid was twitching, too.

'If they're this affectionate with each other, I can only imagine how sickeningly sweet they are when they're alone...' Adrien thought.

It wasn't a big secret that Marinette spent the night at Luka's fairly often, usually with the excuse of costume designing. And several times, he'd end up walking in on them while they were doing just that. But Adrien watched enough romantic dramas and films on TV to know what happened when two people in love spent a night together at one of their places.

Adrien's mind started conjuring up images of Luka and Marinette under the covers of the former's bed, making love to each other. Luka's arms were gently wrapped around Marinette, he was rubbing his hands all over her skin, smooching her lips and cheeks.

Oh, how Adrien wished that was him. How he wanted to be in Luka's shoes, holding Marinette close to him. How he wanted to be the one kissing the super-cute designer senseless instead of Luka.

The dates that they would go on, all the sights that he'd take her to see, the affection he would ravish her with, and so much more. If only he and Luka could switch places.

Marinette was an amazing girl, and Adrien never met a woman as sweet, creative, beautiful, and charming as her. He'd met several other women in the past, mostly ones his father arranged for him to meet. The only one who stood out to him was Kagami Tsurugi, a fellow fencer that he met, but things didn't work out between them.

When Marinette came along, she stole his heart without knowing it.

"Hey Marinette," Luka replied. "Let's get a look at your designs for the stage costumes."

"Okay!" Marinette said as she and Luka snuggled closer. She opened up her sketchbook and she showed the group the stage costumes, including cat-unicorn hybrid masks and some stage armor in everyone's trademark colors - blue for Luka, purple for Juleka, etc.

Adrien looked at the designs and he understood why Kitty Section made Marinette the official costume designer for the band. The clothes she made were good enough to put his father's to shame.

"These costumes are amazing, Marinette," Adrien said sincerely. "I can see why you work for my father."

"Thanks, Adrien." Marinette said with a big smile and Adrien's heart stopped dead in its tracks for a few seconds.

"What about you, Luka?" Marinette questioned.

"I love these, Marinette." Luka said as he hugged her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"Aw, thanks, babe," Marinette giggled with a blush before looking at Adrien. "Nice work on the keyboard as always, Adrien."

Luka gave a nod and agreed, "Yeah, it really adds something nice to the music. Until you joined the band, we were missing a piece."

"Thanks, both of you." Adrien said, trying to act normal.

"Hey, let's go out and play pool later! We could use some time to have a little fun." Ivan suggested.

Juleka nodded in agreement and Rose said, "Great idea!"

"I'm game," Luka agreed. "How about you, Marinette?"

"I've never played before." Marinette admitted.

"Really, Marinette?" Adrien asked, hope lacing his voice.

"No, I haven't," Marinette confirmed before turning to her boyfriend. "Will you teach me, Luka?"

"You know I will, babe." Luka said before kissing Marinette on her temple.

Adrien's heart dropped into his stomach, and he tried to restrain himself and not let a jealous scowl on his face. Nino kept his concerned eyes on his best friend, ready to step in if Adrien lost his cool.

They went to another room that had the pool and foosball tables. There was a food stand in the room and some tables and chairs were scattered around. The group gathered up the pool sticks and separated into two groups to play separate games of pool. Ivan, Juleka, Rose were in one group, while the others were in another group.

Marinette was standing at the pool table and holding on to her stick, laying it down on the table. Luka was standing behind her, his hands on hers to guide her and help her shoot the ball... Almost as if he were hugging her from behind. Adrien couldn't help but see himself in Luka's position, wanting to be the one holding the gorgeous designer in his arms.

"Okay," Luka began. "Just line up the end of the stick to the white ball..."

Marinette, blushing with a smile, said, "I think I get it..."

"And shoot!" Luka stated.

Marinette hit the ball with the stick, and the white ball hit the red one and sunk it into the pocket.

"Great shot, Marinette!" Luka praised, hugging his girlfriend, tickling her sides, and getting a giggle out of her.

Adrien was almost standing right next to them. He was bristling angrily, but his face betrayed not a single emotion. He took some deep breaths and tried to keep his cool.

*Growl~*

Everyone turned around to Ivan, who was blushing while holding his stomach.

"Sounds like someone's hungry," Luka chortled. "That's the song of the desire to eat."

"Yeah, I'm starving," Ivan admitted. "I barely got any breakfast this morning."

"Now that you mention it, what time is it now, anyway?" Adrien added as he took out his phone to check the time. "...Wow, we've been at it for hours. I'm surprised no one else's stomaches are making noise."

*GROWL~!*

Adrien looked down at his stomach before blushing. He noticed everyone else's stomaches were talking, too.

Everyone started howling with laughter at the irony.

"Damn, that was hilarious!" Nino commented as he came down from his laughing highs.

"Well, timing really is the most important thing in comedy!" Rose added before she and Juleka cracked up again.

"Shall we break for something to eat?" Luka suggested.

"Great idea!" Marinette said, delighted.

The group went to get food from the restaurant in the recreation center. They were all sitting at tables close to each other.

Adrien was sitting at a table with Nino, and he was back-to-back to Marinette, who was sitting at a table about a meter away. She and Luka were alone at one table, sharing a milkshake and having their own snacks. They had salads, some fruit, and a few crepes.

"You're an amazing teacher, Luka," Marinette stated as she ate a few strawberries. "I don't think I'd ever be able to figure out how to play pool without your help."

"Don't give me too much credit, Marinette. You're a fast learner," Luka replied. "You made yourself look like a liar."

Marinette laughed as she and Luka kept talking to each other. Rose, Juleka, and Ivan were smiling in approval, Nino had a neutral look, and Adrien was looking away, trying to ignore it.

He was stabbing his salad with the fork, not caring that he was crushing the croutons and smashing the tomatoes.

He was stewing in his jealousy, his temper brewing and about to reach the boiling point. Nino put a hand on his shoulder, trying to put some ice in the tea to cool him down to a safer temperature.

"Adrien, take it easy." Nino whispered.

Adrien took a deep breath and let it out before telling Nino, "Sorry. I just..."

"Come on, angel song, I'm sure you sing as well as you design." Luka said affectionately. She giggled and blushed, closing her eyes and covering her smile with her hand coquettishly.

"Luka, you know I get all embarrassed when you call me that!" Marinette laughed before fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"But I know you like it, babe." Luka said, chuckling and then giving her the charming smile and wink he always had for her.

Marinette giggled, "No argument there, guitar cutie."

Luka chuckled again and said, "Hannah Montana reference?"

"Yep. The song "He Could Be The One." How'd you know?" Marinette asked sweetly.

The twosome laughed together before interlacing their fingers in their hands.

Adrien's fingers were moving around awkwardly, he was gritting his teeth, trying to hold back a snarling growl, the veins in his forehead were throbbing, and goosebumps were all over his skin.

"I just hate it when they sweet-talk in public like this..." Adrien hissed quietly through gritted teeth.

"Dude, I don't see why you don't just man up," Nino spoke. "Just tell Marinette how you feel. I can see the entire cheese-fest happening..."

~Fantasy - Narrated By Nino~

Marinette was sitting on a picnic blanket and had a basket filled with food. She had some plates and napkins set out and was waiting for someone. Adrien was hiding behind a nearby tree.

"Marinette's alone, waiting for Luka for a picnic or something. You're hiding out close by, a thornless red rose in hand and wanting to offload every cheesy, sappy-sweet word of love you have."

Adrien looked at the rose in his hand, his face a matching shade, he was shaking with nerves. He took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree. Determined to get his feelings out to her, he started walking towards her with purpose, his hands behind his back.

Marinette noticed him and gave him a smile in greeting. Adrien smiled back, but he got down on one knee to get to eye level with her before presenting her with the rose. Marinette's eyes blew out.

"You approach Marinette, get down on one knee, and you give her the flower."

Adrien opened his mouth and was ready to profess his love for her. He started to move his lips to convey the message.

"Once you have her where you want her, you tell her that you love her and..."

"It won't work, Nino." Adrien cut in as the sound of a record scratching abruptly rang out.

~End of Fantasy, Breaks Like Glass~

"What do you mean?" Nino asked. "You didn't even hear the whole thing and you're already saying it won't work?"

"Even if I DID man up and confess, nothing's gonna change between us. She's in love with Luka, and she's never considered me anything more than a friend from the get-go. She'll never return my feelings, and it'll just get awkward between the three of us," Adrien said as he picked at his salad again. "It's pointless."

"Yeah, I see what you mean, dude..." Nino said.

The pair of young men heard some shuffling behind. They looked behind to see Luka and Marinette had gotten up.

"You guys looking to go?" Rose asked her girlfriend's big brother.

"Yeah, Marinette's got some extra work to do for her job. After that, we're thinking a little quality time with my angel song is what my music's needing right now." Luka purred huskily before squeezing Marinette closer to him.

Marinette giggled before the two of them started walking away. Adrien couldn't help but notice that Marinette's eyes were glowing and sparkling, looking at her beloved boyfriend.

With a quiet scoff, Adrien crossed his arms, rolled his eyes, then muttered, "'Quality time,' my ass. Those two are probably gonna be sweating the sheets at Luka's hovel before dusk and then they'll be doing rounds all night."

"Dude!" Nino hissed, harshly elbowing the blonde. "I know you're jealous, but dude..."

"Is something wrong?" Ivan asked.

"Um, nothing... Hey, Adrien, aren't you running a bit late, dude? You've got another photoshoot to go to later tonight, don't you, dude?" Nino asked.

Adrien gave Nino a questioning look, but then realized what Nino was trying to do: help Adrien get out of there before he snapped and caused a scene.

"Oh, yes! I do! Thanks for reminding me, Nino," Adrien said, playing along with him. "See you guys at the next practice session."

The boys left the recreation center to go back to Adrien's apartment. There was only one thing on Adrien's mind all the way back: why couldn't he have met Marinette before Luka did? Why couldn't he have met a girl as wonderful, sweet, and darling as Marinette earlier in life? Like in his junior high school years... Oh, right, he was homeschooled and his father almost never let him out of the house for anything fun. How was he supposed to meet girls with a restrictive lifestyle like that?

Back at the high-rise, Adrien stepped out of the shower, was wearing a towel around his waist and was looking in the mirror on his bathroom vanity. His hair was stuck to his face, water droplets streaming down his face from the tips.

Plagg jumped onto the vanity and forced his head under Adrien's hand. Nino was looking at his friend sadly.

Adrien sighed and stroked Plagg's head, before asking aloud, "I don't get it. What is it about Luka that I don't have? I mean... I'd like to think I've got it made. I've got wealth, looks, access to everything a fashion designer like her could want... And yet she doesn't even care."

"That's the thing about Marinette, dude: she lets her work speak for itself. And I've never seen her fall so hard for anyone before. She's got it real bad for Luka." Nino said.

Adrien started drying his hair. When he took the towel off, his hair went wild and unruly. He chuckled and said, "Well, if she had it bad for me, then I'd be feline pretty good."

Plagg yowled in annoyance before jumping off the vanity and going back to his bed in the bedroom. Nino groaned and shuddered. Adrien sighed and protested, "Hey, that was funny!"

"No it wasn't, dude," Nino said. "You can't drop a clichéd line like that and expect to win her heart in a snap."

"Come on, Nino, romantic one-liners are wooing gold! Just listen: baby you're a thief - you stole my heart; I can forget my very existence in a deep kiss with you; God was showing off when he created you."

"Dude, enough!" Nino said, covering his ears.

Grumbling, he took the hair dryer and ruffled his hair before combing and coiffing it perfectly. He once again looked in the mirror, before sighing sadly.

"But isn't having a sense of humor and being able to be slick with your words the key to winning a woman over?" Adrien asked.

"No," Nino said. "It's not that simple. You've been watching too many romantic soap operas lately."

Adrien gave an embarrassed chuckle and blush.

"But seriously man, romance has never been simple," Nino stated. "It's always been complicated."

Adrien slumped down his shoulders, resigned. He walked over to the bed and sat down. He folded his arms in a pout and hung his head. Meanwhile, Nino put a hand on his shoulder to try and help him feel better.

When the concert came, the audience was packed in the venue, to the point where it became standing room only. Meanwhile, everyone in the band was backstage, getting their stage costumes on. Marinette was paying special attention to Luka and his clothes. Adrien was wearing a similar costume with his primary color being green with black accents. His mask was up on his head rather than over his face.

"This is amazing, Marinette," Luka said while admiring her work in the mirror. "Your designs are top-notch."

'My thoughts exactly.' Adrien thought.

"Thanks, Luka," Marinette replied, blushing. "Break a leg out there."

"We will, and then maybe a litlte reward for my favorite costume designer." Luka stated, giving Marinette an affectionate wink. Marinette blushed, stood on her tip-toes, then tenderly kissed Luka's lips. Adrien's heart ached at the sight.

Luka started walking off to the stage, his guitar in his hands.

"You going to follow them?" Marinette asked.

"In a second," Adrien sighed. "Marinette, I..."

"Yes?" Marinette inquired, giving Adrien a smile in her voice and eyes.

'OUT WITH IT, dude!' Nino's voice reverberated in the blonde's mind.

Adrien was about to voice his thoughts when Luka shouted out, "Hey Adrien! What's the hold up?"

"Coming!" Adrien spoke. He chanced one more glance at Marinette before leaving for the stage.

Once the whole band was on stage, Rose took the microphone and said to the crowd, "Evening, everyone! We're Kitty Section!"

Luka started on a hard riff on his guitar, cuing everyone else to start playing their instruments while Rose belted her voice out.

Adrien's fingers were flying across the keys, but his peripheral attention was offstage. In the wings was Marinette, who was watching the band - or rather, Luka - with eyes overflowing with sheer devotion.

Luka spun on his heels before sliding on his knees to the apron of the stage. He started a guitar solo, getting a roaring reaction out of the audience. Adrien could have sworn that Marinette was swooning.

'Is it so wrong to want Luka's girl?' Adrien thought as he sighed on the inside, continuing to play his keyboard. He wasn't just playing the song for the band, but the song of his broken heart.

Alright, that's the end of this music one-shot! I hope you all enjoyed it. Like I said, this is a rewrite of "Nathan's Girl" that I wrote (and deleted) some time ago.

I think that this one is an improvement compared to that last one. If you've all read "Nathan's Girl" before deleting it, several comments included that the song lyrics sort of messed with the flow of the story, so here's the rewrite, sans lyrics!