Another Kacchako one-shot! Instead of all my other WIPs! Ahem. Seriously though I want to try to do this "ship of the week" thing, at least once, just so I know what it's like. Anyway, this one-shot is REALLY short compared to the last one, or any of my normal chapters, but it's here, and it's only a day late so...

Enjoy?

Also, this takes place when Katsuki and Ochako are adults and have been in an established relationship for a while. There's also swearing because Katsuki, but surprisingly Ochako swears a bit too.

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Today was not a good day for villains.

Oh, it was a lovely day to be sure. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, there was a lovely breeze winding through the streets that kept the summer day pleasantly warm rather than stiflingly hot. There hadn't even been any traffic jams yet that day, which, considering it was downtown in the middle of a summer weekend, was saying something.

No, the reason today was not a good day for villains was because any villain who showed up in downtown today would be interrupting the first actual day off Bakugo Katsuki had gotten in five f*ing months.

The first day in five months where he hadn't had to get up at forsaken-o-clock to deal with morons trying to rob the convenience store just two blocks away from his apartment. The first day in five months where he hadn't had to suit up and save lives and then deal with sniveling civilians complaining that he'd saved their lives at the cost of a few loud explosions and maybe a broken windshield. The first day in five months where he'd gotten to lounge in his bed until noon when his girlfriend sauntered into his apartment wearing one of the muscle shirts she'd stolen from him ages ago, floated his mattress upside down so he hit the ground with a thump, and then cheerfully announced that he was taking her out for ice cream.

Which he had because one, he did actually love his girlfriend no matter what anyone implied about his emotional capacity and rocks, and two, his girlfriend was a hot bad*ss and he secretly liked flaunting her hot bad*ssery to the world. So yeah, he was in absolutely no mood to deal with villains and their sh*t today.

"Aww, really?" Ochako complained under her breath in between thoughtful bites of her ice cream cone as they both glared at the gang of villains trying to rob as many mall stores as they could, "I'm wearing a skirt today."

Katsuki cracked his knuckles and pulled on his spare combat gloves —not grenades like his gauntlets, these were just to help support his wrists from the blast recoil—, "Could wait for the local hero on duty to come deal with it," he suggested half-heartedly. They glanced at each other, then over at the petty villains who were actually dumb enough to monologue. Right there in the middle of the mall. Where all the top heroes were known to shop on their days off.

Someone had purchased their brains from discount dumb*sses bin, clearly.

Ochako took a final bite of her ice cream cone and then announced blithely, "We could. But you know, I think these f*ck*rs p*ss me off."

Katsuki cackled despite his own black temper —it was always hilarious to hear Ochako swear, mostly because his classmates still didn't believe him when he insisted that Ochako's mouth was as bad as his when she got mad—. Ochako threw away what remained of her ice cream cone and together they began making their way through the milling crowd of customers who weren't scared so much as either annoyed or morbidly curious —the regulars knew that the top heroes shopped here, it was just a lottery as to which ones would show up to deal with these idiots—.

The "leader" of the group was in the middle of trying to threaten everyone with his quirk —crab pincer hands, really?— when Katsuki finished shouldering his way through the crowd, stalked up to the villains and wordlessly punched out the leader with his bare hand. The man went down like a sack of cement, Katsuki hadn't even had to use his quirk. The other villains wavered, torn between shock, outrage, and terror and Katsuki rolled his shoulders menacingly as a distraction while Ochako snuck around behind them and began levitating a few empty shopping carts.

"Normally," growled Katsuki, "I'd give you all the chance to realize how f*ed you are and surrender. I'm basically required by law to give you that chance while I'm on duty. Unfortunately for you," Katsuki smiled, one of the petty criminals whimpered, "I'm not on duty, and you ruined my date. I can do whatever the h*ll I want."

One of the villains in the back had enough time to whimper a pathetic, "Oh sh-," before Ochako's upside down shopping carts rained down from the heavens. The one in the far back went down like a brick and didn't get up, the others scattered with only bruises —pretty quick on their feet for idiots—. Katsuki tore through their front line while Ochako casually judo-flipped anyone who thought they could run away. At one point she floated into the air to get away from an annoying sticky-glue quirk and Katsuki saw said villain ogle up Ochako's skirt as she floated by.

He decided he would apologize to his secretary later for him having to fill out damage compensation forms again. But really, nobody got to look up his girlfriend's skirt and live. Not without burns and a few broken bones. The shattered glass and overturned mannequins that came from grabbing the man and explosively hurling him through the nearest storefront were a necessary evil.

Ochako landed on the shoulders of the idiot who thought his ability to extend his eyeballs like a cartoon character made him the next Shigaraki, knocked him out with a twist of her legs and rolled back to her feet with a smile, "You know I'm wearing shorts under this right? Nobody saw anything."

"Nobody's allowed to try unless they want to f*ing die," he snarled back. She laughed like he'd said something adorable —no matter how many times he told her that he didn't do adorable— and kissed his cheek before effortlessly back-kicking the villain who had been trying to sneak up on them. The man went skidding several feet across the tiles, clutching his middle like he'd been shot instead of kicked and wheezing for lost air.

And that right there was why Katsuki had first agreed to date her in their second year. She was a bad*ss and worth paying attention to —and it totally had nothing to do with the fact that she'd judo pinned him to the floor until he agreed to take her to the movies as apology for setting her favorite blouse on fire shut up, Deku—.

"That's it!" Screamed one of the villains who really should have just given up and run away by now, "I've had it with you two! Tōka, get Uravity! As for you- Crushing Coffin!" The man raised his hands like a magician about to do a trick and holy sh*t that was a lot of sand coming from nowhere and everywhere at once what the h*ll-. Ochako's hand brushed his back and they both leaped into the air weightlessly. Katsuki steered himself away from the wave of sand that followed them with his explosions, grateful that enough people in the civilian crowd had possessed enough brains to evacuate everyone else before this happened.

Ochako floated away from him with an expert twist, already preoccupied with the only female villain who was now chasing her around with some kind of quirk that made her hands shimmer and the air feel hot. Katsuki focused on the sand user instead —Ochako could handle a little amateur like that, she didn't need him fussing—.

The sand chased him up to the second floor of the mall, but when he leaped to the third, it folded in on itself, sluggish and uncoordinated and Katsuki smirked. The villain had trouble moving the sand too far from himself. A few test dives and explosions proved that while the villain had a f*ckton of sand at his disposal, his ability to control it at all was sh*t, close range or far, and he couldn't keep it in a cohesive shape if enough force was applied to it. Katsuki flipped over and dived, dimly aware of Ochako hurling her opponent into the rising tide of sand just as Katsuki plummeted toward the sand villain. The villain redirected his sand upward with a yell, but a swift Howitzer Impact kept the sand from catching and crushing him. Katsuki crashed into the villain full force and his world rang with the explosions.

Katsuki picked himself up a moment later, dusting himself off and snorting irritably at the unconscious villain, "That's for ruining my day off." He took a step back, slipped with a surprised curse as the ground proved to be slanted and smooth rather than gritty sand or even flat mall tiles. Ochako's hands caught his shoulders and steadied him, releasing her quirk as she did so, and Katsuki tested his footing before straightening up and looking down.

"Okay, what the h*ll."

Ochako had the audacity to laugh at him as she floated clear of the twisting mass of glass spiraling out from where Katsuki had struck the sand villain, "Turns out your explosions, his sand, and her heat quirk mixed a little too well. All the sand nearest to you turned into glass." Katsuki looked around and saw she was right. The glass only existed a few feet around him, everything else on the first and second floor of the mall that he could see was covered in dunes of golden sand.

Katsuki climbed out of the glass spirals, careful not to break it since glass shards were such a b*tch to clean up, "Annoying sons of-. Leaving sand everywhere in the mall, I should-." The fight had ruined the storefront of the ice cream parlor too, so even if the workers were still willing to sell him some, there went any hope of recovering his peaceful ice cream date. F*ck*rs.

Laughter interrupted his dark thoughts and Katsuki looked up. Why was Ochako laughing now? She saw his look and beamed at him in that way that made his stomach to funny things even now and threw her arms out to encompass the mess, "It's like a beach! Right here in the mall!"

Katsuki opened his mouth to retort that he doubted anyone else would see it that way when he heard the civilians emerging from hiding and … laughing at the sand. The kids were already climbing all over the sand dunes, squealing with glee and some of the adults looked like they were admiring the spirally glass abomination in the middle of it all.

It should have probably been concerning that these regular mall shoppers were so used to this sort of thing they could laugh about it. It probably said something about how Katsuki and the rest of his graduated Class did their jobs that chaos was apparently considered the new normal —something along lines that proved Best Jeanist's words from his first year internship right—.

Eh. It was better than screaming in terror or anger over damages.

"Hero-sans! Hero-sans!" Ochako and Katsuki looked down at the child who tumbled over to them through the sand dunes. Ochako smiled winningly, Katsuki just tilted his head in that way that kids seemed to think was an invitation to cuddle and- yep. Living limpet on his leg. The kid looked up at them, all gap-toothed smiles and sparkling —literally sparkling, interesting quirk— eyes, "Thank you! Mama said we had to go shopping today instead of going to the beach and playin' sand castles, but now the beach is right here so I get to play anyway!" The kid bounded away a moment later, leaving Katsuki to glower half-heartedly at the sand while Ochako radiated triumph.

"Don't f*ing say it."

"I told you it looked like a be-."

Katsuki whirled around, pulled her in by her waist and kissed her hard. Like always, it managed to make her shut up. And also like always, she managed to tilt her head just so in a way that made Katsuki's brain backfire and shut down for a few seconds. By the time his brain rebooted, he had apparently agreed to buy her another ice cream and play in the sand like it was a real f*ing beach until cleanup arrived to deal with the mess.

Whatever. Fine. If playing beach meant getting to stretch out on a newly purchased beach towel catching up on his lost sleep while his girlfriend used him as a pillow and ate her ice cream, then fine. He'd even ignore the cooing and the pictures from fans.

Ochako was only convinced to move when the local on-duty hero and the cleanup crew finally got there, at which point he managed to coax her back to his apartment away from the gossip of the public for a movie marathon and a nice long cuddle —yes, cuddle, he was man enough to admit he cuddled his girlfriend, unlike some people he knew, Denki—. By the time evening rolled around, Katsuki could confidently conclude that his day off had been saved and his date rescued from ruination by villains.

Now if Ochako would just stop stealing his favorite shirts —no matter how flattering it was to see her in them, he was seriously running out of his favorites and those things were expensive thanks—. Then he could truly call his day off a victory.