Please feel free to enjoy this fic the way you feel comfortable. I write out of my love for SasuSaku and I deliberately post them on a free platform. You don't OWE me any follows/favourites/reviews. I'm very thankful you even gave my fic a chance, I hope you enjoy it.
Warning: If you start this fic, I suggest you finish it. I mean if you find it boring, just skim through it and check the ending out. Otherwise, it might leave a somewhat negative impact I don't really want my fics to have on anyone.
Sakura wraps her slender fingers around the small glass and empties the content. The sour flavour of lime hits her taste buds. She swallows. There's an almost burning sensation inside her throat. The drink travels downwards. Leaving a hot trail along its line of movement. She feels heated. But she can't find the warmth she's seeking.
She places the glass on the counter-top. The thick bottom makes a thud against the wooden surface. The bartender, looks up at her.
"I'll have one more. But not right away."
"Got it. Tell me when you want it," his reply is curt and professional before he goes back to pouring the triple sec into the ice filled copper cocktail shaker.
Sakura looks at her nails. She got them manicured this afternoon. They look perfect. Properly shaped and painted with a rosy shade very similar to the hue of her hair. It's styled properly too. Although nothing too fancy. Just perfectly straightened, not a single strand out of place.
There's the sound of a chair moving against the polished wooden floor. She lifts her face to find a man.
Sasuke takes his dark blue jacket off and tosses it on the armrest without care before taking his place on the chair. Sakura flinches a little. That suit must be expensive.
"Black label. Neat."
Placing his elbows on the counter-top, he rests his forehead on the intertwined fingers. He takes a few deep breaths. He feels exhausted, broken, empty.
The bartender finishes making the drink he was working on and a neatly dressed waitress arrives to silently carry it away to the customer.
A platinum blonde girl with a gorgeous face is performing a song. Her blue satin sleeveless dress and blue strappy heels along with her pink lipstick and blue eyeshadows are imparting her the look of a fairy from some mythological tale. Doing perfect justice to her stage name, Titania. Her melodic vocals have cast a spell over the place. The people at the tables have their attention almost entirely dedicated to her.
Except for the two sitting at the bar three chairs apart. Turning their backs on the merriment of the late evening and drowning their agony in their glasses of liquor.
"Here," the bartender places Sasuke's scotch in a tulip glass on the counter in front of him. He lifts his face slowly to stare at the sunset coloured spirit in the warm yellowish light of the bar. He exhales audibly and grabs the glass with his left hand. He takes a sip before placing the glass back on the counter-top.
"I'll have mine now," Sakura informs the bartender. And then goes back to inspecting the soft material of her dark red dress.
Sasuke keeps sipping on his whiskey silently.
"Here's your order," the waiter announces to Sakura as he places the shot glass in front of her.
"Thank you," she takes the lime wedge from the glass and licks it. Her face contours in reaction to the acidic taste.
This time, she doesn't down it at one go. She takes a small sip instead. The familiar heat warms her up once again. But this time it's much gentler, much pleasant.
"Do you want a refill?" the bartender asks Sasuke as he places his empty glass on the counter surface.
"No," his reply is terse and he pulls a card from his wallet and passes it to the bartender.
Sakura continues sipping on her Kamikaze shot.
.
.
.
"Ah, he left it behind."
Sakura lifts her face at the bartender's exclamatory voice. Following his gaze, she finds the dark blue suit jacket. On the armrest of the chair Sasuke was occupying a while ago. A little crumpled.
"I'll give it to him," she jumps off her chair and grabs the coat quickly. Throwing her light green purse on the counter, she turns around to head towards the door. Leaving the brown eyed bartender clueless.
Assuming he must have taken the lift, she rushes towards the staircase. The red high heels refrain her from moving as fast as she would like to. Offended, she stops to take them off and leaving them behind on the polished floor tiles, she hurries down the stairs. The first few steps make her recoil a little, the harsh coldness of the floor against her bare skin feels a little too much. But then, she is running. Out of breath. She doesn't want to let him go at any cost.
"Excuse me," she shouts at the top of her voice as she spots him getting out of the lift and heading towards the glass door. He stops and after a moment's pause, turns his face too see her.
A pair of tired black eyes meet a pair of lonely green ones. A few instants pass, just like that.
"You forgot this," Sakura holds her hand out, offering him his jacket.
Sasuke takes a look at it. As if unsure what it even is. Then, he takes the jacket from her. But he doesn't make any effort to put it back on. Instead he gestures towards her small feet with his eyes. "Why are you barefoot?"
"Oh, this?" she laughs, "I left my shoes behind to catch you. They were uncomfortable to walk in."
Sasuke frowns.
"It's alright. It's not a problem."
He considers her strange behaviour for a moment or two. Then turns away with a "Thanks." Ready to leave,
But she follows after him. So he has to stop.
"What are you doing?"
"Leaving."
"Without your shoes?"
"Yes, I don't mind."
Sasuke tries to make sense of her peculiar actions but he has his own burdens to shoulder. Worrying about others is not something he intends to do at the moment.
The doorkeeper opens the door and the two step outside. The cold of the night hits them and Sakura starts shivering.
"It's cold," she says as she rubs her palms against her upper arms.
"It has been for weeks," Sasuke turns around, his dark black eyes gazing at her. "Did you just find out today?"
"No," she shakes her head.
"Then why are you dressed like that?" he points towards the spaghetti straps of her knee length red dress.
"Oh this? I wanted to wear a pretty dress for once in my life," she laughs happily. "An expensive, branded one."
Sasuke scowls at her. Then takes a step to close some of the distance, attempting to put the suit jacket on her. But she steps back.
"What?"
"I don't need it."
"You're cold."
"It's alright."
"It isn't. Just take it."
"No. I can't return it."
"You don't have to," he makes another move to place the jacket on her but she shrugs it off.
"No, I told you I don't need it. Can't you just take it and be thankful I brought it back to you?"
"I thanked you."
"You did. But it didn't feel like you really meant it. You didn't look like you even cared you had left it behind," she laughs again. As if it's the funniest joke in existence. And Sasuke has no idea why.
"To be honest, I didn't," he exhales, running a hand through his jet black hair.
Sakura's green eyes widen for a moment, then she smiles. "I see, I did something unnecessary. Didn't I?"
Sasuke raises an eyebrow.
"Unnecessary isn't the word I'd use."
"But it doesn't mean anything to you. You won't even remember."
"Remember what?"
"That you had left it behind and I brought it back to you. You won't remember me."
Sasuke feels utterly clueless. Sakura sighs, looking down at her bare feet against the dusty pavement.
"What exactly is wrong with you?"
She remains silent for a while. Then takes a deep breath.
"I'm going to jump into the river tonight."
Sasuke has no idea how someone else might have reacted to a confession like this. So he takes a few moments. A few moments of silence. In which Sakura looks up from her feet to his face. Searching for something.
"Why?" he asks, the expression on his face as indifferent as ever.
"I have nothing left."
"What happened?"
"Nothing," she laughs again.
He furrows his brows.
"It's not like something bad happened to me all of a sudden. Things inside me have been dying slowly, over a long period of time. I don't really feel it as it happens. I just wake up one morning realising a certain part of me isn't there anymore. There's nothing I want to do. There's nothing that makes me feel alive. I've died a slow long death and now I'm like an empty husk of a person."
Sasuke studies her top to bottom.
"If you're going to kill yourself, why did you put the effort to dress up like that?"
"Well, with my income, I could never dream of wearing a dress like this," she laughs. "But since the number of days I'll need to live got cut down so drastically, I suddenly had this huge amount of money to spend in one day. So, for once in my life, I could experience it. I bought this dress, got my nail manicured and my hair styled. Went to an elite restaurant and ordered the costliest dish I could find on the menu. Then came to this bar to have something to drink."
"Was it fun?"
Sakura stops laughing and her eyes look into his for a while.
"Not really."
Another silence follows.
"I thought it'd feel great. I mean I've seen people pour so much money over these things. It must be magical. Otherwise why'd they do it? But I realised, it's all for nothing. Like an oyster. Only valued when there's a pearl inside it. If you take an empty shell and decorate it, it's still an empty shell after all. There's no hope for people like me with an empty core."
Sasuke contemplates her words for a while.
"You feel empty?"
"Terribly," she smiles. And he holds her gaze. Diving into the depths of those melancholic green eyes.
"Do you want to come with me? To my place?"
She stares at him for a while.
"I don't need money anymore, you know."
"I didn't say anything about money."
"You want me to sleep with you for free?"
His narrow eyes go a little wide.
"I don't want to sleep with you."
"Then why are you asking me to come with you?"
"Because…" he looks her in the eye with an intensity that makes her want to tear away from that gaze. But she doesn't. "I feel empty too."
Moments pass.
"You're tired," she whispers. It's not a question. It's a statement. "And lonely."
"If you come with me tonight, I'll remember you. I'll remember you for as long as I live."
"Will you?" her eyes shine a little with something that resembles hope.
"I promise. Just for tonight, come with me. You can kill yourself tomorrow."
His gaze locks with her. She blinks. Once, twice, thrice.
"Okay." A smile graces her pink lips.
Sasuke turns the lights on. Sakura looks around.
At the heavy curtains covering the entire wall on the left. At the expensive couch and the low table arranged perfectly on the dark grey carpet in the sitting area. At the marble side table by the couch with a shaded table lamp on it. At the luxurious TV unit hosting an LED TV on the wall facing the couch.
To the right, she finds the kitchen equipped with all the latest apparatuses, and the wooden dinner table with two chairs and an empty stone flower pot in the middle.
"You're rich," she comments as she takes a step towards the dining table and rubs a finger against the surface to find a thick layer of dust paining her fingertip in dark grey.
"I am. I own a company."
"How long has it been since you last returned here?" She turns around.
"A week or two maybe."
"Why?"
"I have a suite reserved for me at a hotel near the office."
She frowns.
"It feels lonely."
"Being home?"
"It doesn't feel like home."
Sasuke moves towards the couch and throws the jacket nonchalantly on the dusty leather surface. He loosens his dark blue polka dotted tie with his right hand while Sakura takes in his tall lean form. In the perfectly fitting white shirt and dark blue trousers.
"Can I use the washroom? My feet are dirty."
"Of course. This way," he leads the way, casually folding the sleeves of his shirt.
.
.
.
"There. An extra pair of slippers. Although it's too big for you," Sasuke points towards the perfectly arranged blue slippers on the kitchen's wooden floor.
"It's warm," she smiles gently as she looks up from her tiny feet in Sasuke's oversized slippers. "Thank you."
"I'm making coffee. I can't offer you anything else. I don't have anything in my fridge," Sasuke turns his back to her. Returning his focus to the coffee machine.
"It's fine. Can you give me a duster or something? Your couch must be just as dusty as everything else."
.
.
.
Sasuke places the two cups of steaming black coffee on the low table.
"You don't even have powdered milk, do you?"
"No."
"Sugar?"
"I might."
He returns a moment later with a small glass jar full of sugar cubes.
"It's not as bad as I thought it'd be," Sakura laughs, taking the first sip of her coffee. "Thanks to you, I got to experience something new before dying."
"I'm glad," he sips his coffee. Sitting on the other end of the couch.
"What happened to you?"
He looks at her. A small furrow appearing on his forehead.
"Why are you so exhausted?"
There's a moment's silence.
"My brother passed away."
Her reaction is minimal.
"How?"
"A plane crash," he takes another sip of his coffee.
"Then…" Sakura stares into nothingness, "A lot of people passed away."
Sasuke pauses. The idea hitting him for the first time.
"Yes. A lot of people must be mourning the loss of their beloved ones."
"They were lucky."
"To have lost their lives?"
"No. To have people to mourn their loss," she smiles at him as she takes another sip. "When I die, there won't be anyone to miss me. I doubt anyone will even notice."
Sasuke sips his coffee silently.
.
.
.
"It's cold," Sakura holds the coffee cup between her palms.
Sasuke shifts on the couch. Leaning towards her. She gets a little startled by the sudden movement.
"You're warm," she smiles at him, getting a little closer to his larger figure.
"You're smiling."
"Huh?"
"You're not faking laughs anymore," his eyes refuse to leave hers.
It's a few heartbeats before she speaks again. "You could tell?"
"From the very beginning."
"I thought I was good at it."
"Not good enough to fool me."
Her smile is bitter. But she snuggles closer to his chest.
"You-"
"Shhhhh," she stops him.
"What?"
"Don't speak."
"Why?"
"I'm listening to something."
"What is it?" Sasuke frowns.
"Your heartbeat," she giggles as she presses her right ear against his chest. "It sounds really nice."
Sasuke finds himself at a loss for words. Then, he gently wraps his left arm around her narrow shoulders. Sakura doesn't show any resistance.
"Hey…"
It's a soft murmur against his ear. A little too soft for him to figure out if it's happening in reality or in his dreams.
"Hey…"
A slight tap against his right shoulder.
Sasuke opens his eyes slowly. He finds a pair of vivid green eyes boring into him. And strands of pink hair framing a small face with soft features. He blinks a few times.
"It's morning already," Sakura giggles. Moving across to part the heavy grey curtains. The soft reddish light of the rising sun invades the sitting room.
He looks at her in the new light. And her at him.
"What is your name?"
"Sakura," she smiles brightly. He thinks it's brighter than last night. "And yours?"
"Sasuke."
"That suits you," she chuckles. And he'd bet it's livelier.
"Yours too."
"I know. My hair," she laughs and he sees it reach the depths of her jade eyes. She isn't faking it anymore.
He feels lighter. And for some reason, this luxurious apartment feels like home for the first time.
"I will miss you."
"What?" her pink brows furrow.
"If you die, I will miss you."
"You will?" her eyes shine in the light of the morning sun.
"Terribly," he pauses, looking down at his creased shirt and trousers. "Do you really have to do it?"
He searches her eyes for an answer. The answer he wants.
"I told you I'm already dead inside, like an empty shell. That there's absolutely nothing I feel like doing anymore."
"You did. But-"
"There's something I want to do now."
"What?" he asks himself if it's too early to hope.
"Cook a meal."
Sasuke doesn't know how to respond.
"I used to love cooking. But one day I stopped. Just like that. And never felt like starting again. And now I want to cook a meal and share it with you if you don't mind. You know, I'm really good at cooking." Her smile radiates confidence.
"I don't."
"Thank you," she looks uncharacteristically cheerful. "I'll have to use your kitchen. And I'll need some money to buy the ingredients. I don't have any. All I have is this dress."
It's a few moments before he finally answers.
"I'll come with you."
"You will?" Her eyes are eager.
"Yes. I'm not going to work today. I've forgotten the last time I took a day off. "
He stands up from the couch.
"But first I'd like a cup of coffee."
"So would I. But I don't know how to use a coffee machine," Sakura giggles.
"Come. I'll show you," Sasuke heads towards the kitchen with an enthusiastic Sakura following after him in her crumpled red dress and his grey slippers.
Note: Spotify suggested me the song Truth by Parisian and something about it hit me hard. It wasn't the lyrics. It was just the mood of the song that gave me these intense feelings I couldn't even describe in words. And these days I've found that the best way to express such emotions is through fics. I felt like Sasuke had to be in a white shirt for this and then concocted the plot from the first two lines.
She knows how to change a heart
I know how to fake a laugh
Since Sasuke faking a laugh is an absurdity, I reversed the roles. And the song is the reason I named it Truth although that doesn't go with the theme of the story.
My question is, was the fic boring? I have a feeling it might be. But still, I had fun writing. Maybe I should try to pass this as an advance celebration of Sasuke's birthday and also of the gorgeous Sasuke Retsuden cover. Kishi Sensei is the best.
Stay healthy.
Love,
June ❤️
[16.07.2019]
