Obsessed and dangerous: new beginnings

Ch.1

Usagi POV

I sipped a cup of tea as I reminisced about the events of around eight months ago in mine and Mamoru's apartment. Was waiting for him to get ready so we could leave out and felt like having some tea before we left for dinner. Not that I particularly enjoyed what I was reminiscing about but we had hit the eighth month marker today so it felt good. Each month that passed by felt even better than the last.

Especially as I looked at my old place from the window. It truly didn't feel like it had been that long though but it had and what a great eight months it had been since those events. I looked on at my old apartment from Mamoru's window. I still couldn't believe the events that had taken place in there. How it was possible to feel like time had stood still and flown by all at once? I guess with what had taken place during it wasn't too hard to imagine why.

I couldn't visually see inside since the curtains were drawn BUT I remembered the layout like the back of my hand and KNEW what it looked like so I could easily picture those events in my head. I could easily picture everything that happened in there like it was yesterday. Yet it was even close to yesterday. I remembered the little then lot of good, then the really bad…and that small blur towards the end of it.

I smiled as I recalled how Mamoru wanted me to move in with him right away after the events with Diamond happened but I declined. I knew he was just being protective of me but I also knew that I could handle being in there, my old place, too. I didn't want to feel scared of being in there at that point. There had been good memories and I didn't want that ruined just because of that dick Diamond.

Plus I also knew it was more so because he wanted me to be away from the negative emotions that came with being at my place by that point. I didn't admit it to him at the time but there were lots of negative emotions I associated with it but a lot of positive ones to that I didn't want to be lost in the negativity of what was left behind. I wanted to be able to still see good memories in there, like falling in love with him.

Cooking dinner in there for us both, watching tv, movies together, and all the times and places we made love whenever the mood struck us…add to the fact that he genuinely loved me, despite how we met, and knew I could handle my own ensuring he didn't treat me like a piece of glass. I really liked that he respected me and TRUSTED me enough to recognize that and NOT try to be overbearing on the matter.

I knew he was overprotective at times and I found it endearing and cutie but I also knew what I was capable of and what I had been through. I wanted that to be recognized as well. I didn't find that too much to ask for. I knew he wanted to think that he was that way all the time but there were some instances where his overly protective issue's did drive me to the point of insanity with frustration directed at him.

The thing is I wanted the reason for my moving in with him to be based on how we felt towards each other as a whole and not in any form based on Diamond's actions against us or towards us or towards myself. So I made sure to hold off moving in together for a little bit until I felt it was an acceptable time to move in and for it to be based on the right reasons. And it was because we were there at that point in our lives ready to live together as a couple that we made that move, we made that step in our relationship and were ready for that move forward.

He accepted this during that time and after a few days of debating it relented on me going back home to live…once my door was fixed that is. And it felt good to show to others and myself that I could do it. Life went back to normal. Or as normal as things can get when it turns out your ex is a former cop turned serial killer. Try explaining that one to the parents. That was a long conversation that was had to. Thankfully Mamoru was there to help out and fill in some details that I didn't have.

So I stayed in my old place for nearly three more months. Three months of getting things back under control and regaining my life. Not forgetting about Diamond mind you but thankful that he was in jail and getting the psychological help he needed. At least I hoped he was and even if not he was still locked up for forever. Especially with the trials that we watch proceed onward with Diamonds case.

That had actually been a tad difficult. Proving what he had done with his previous victims wasn't easy considering the missing bodies and proving they were his victims when found. Mamoru's sister's case file was reopened and they were able to tie him to that one to. I had never seen him look more relieved than when that happened. The other victim that was still alive was still in a coma and was told to potentially never wake up so they took the case file and matched it up to be able to tie hers in to.

It was a long process and took nearly two of those months to compile everything together for the court case argument. They had a lot of evidence but it had to be proofed through court and eye witness testimony which was myself and there was ONLY the physical and hard lined evidence since his victims were either in a coma still or dead there were no eye witnesses to his previous crimes, only his assault on myself and Mamoru.

So they had to get it all down to the hair follicles and that took weeks of DNA testing for each case he was a part of for the victims. It was so much to go through and wait on. I was just grateful that he couldn't get out on bail. Turns out assaulting a cop isn't such a hot idea, add that to his assault on me and the fact that we both contested to the attacks in court and you've got one judge who's unwilling to let Diamond skirt the system.

Plus before all the testing was done the only thing beyond a reasonable doubt that they could prove at the time he was arrested since everything else was based on him acting out against me, was his stalking and assault on me and his assault on Mamoru. It's never a good idea to assault a cop. You think he would have known better, but I don't think he knew at the time of WHO Mamoru was…is. Diamond went behind bars and was unable to even post bail. His yen was all locked back up and his one call went south no answer.

He burned all his bridges and killed the ones he didn't burn. Plus his partner, once he fessed up for a deal he got placed far from Diamond so that he could be brought in to testify against him to for the deal of course. Diamond did look like he wanted to murder his partner though. I was glad he allowed his emotions to be shown in front of the judge so that he could see how truthful his partner's words were.

Not too smart on his end. I was just glad that he didn't get any back up support through the station he initially worked for. I found out through Mamoru that his old precinct cut their ties with him with everything that was found out about and stated that thanks to him all of the cases he worked on had to be re-opened and examined just to ensure that he didn't do anything criminal with them either. It sent them months back in overdue paperwork.

It pissed the chief off over there something fierce. So far nothing was amiss with things but they were still pouring over the last of the case files. Diamond had been on the force for years and had worked on a number of cases. It was just pure luck right now that he didn't tamper with anything that didn't have anything to do with his victims. Apparently he was on the straight with the rest of his stuff and only criminal on his own. At least that way it made sure that nobody who did get convicted from his cases got out.

It just meant a LOT of paper work to go back over and verify. I still remember the day he was put on trail in front of a jury of his own peers. They looked down upon him in shame while some of those attending in the back were family members of his victims that had been notified of his capture as they had requested to be informed after the loose of their daughters. The judge wasn't even close to lenient on him.

He was initially given a bond to post but once he was caught trying to bribe a cop into letting him go the charges got racked up further. The bond was revoked for the action taken. He was declared a flight risk that day, and I breathed a sigh of relief as did everyone else in that room did. I think even his own lawyer was glad he was unable to post bail before he tried to flee the coop so to speak.

It would have made the lawyer look bad that he couldn't even keep his own client stable in one place. So now, after the time that had passed it seemed like things were finally entering the last stretch of it. He was sentenced to back to back life terms in prison so he wouldn't be out till he was leaving in a body bag to their own little cemetery out back. Or rather leaving out in ashes to be set up.

Either way it worked for me along with everyone else. Hopefully by that point he had time to deal with his demons and let go of me in the process. I had already let go for the most part and rarely thought about him. I think I was only thinking about it because the last of the paperwork had pretty much concluded and the courts had made their decision. Plus it was now past that half way point.

Mamoru and I had been living together for nearly six months now. That always brought a smile to my face. We were even friendly with the elderly gentleman who now lived in my old place through his social security checks. He moved in shortly after I moved out and was very routine on getting his morning paper. I will admit I still sort of missed my old place especially since it was mine BUT it didn't take away from what I had right now.

I was more than thrilled to be in a happy, healthy relationship with Mamoru. It definitely beat out having my own place for that independent pride thing I had very little of. I had had it, had my time and now I was ready for the more committed more serious part of our relationship just as he was. In fact to make it more of our space rather than just his, since it was only his name on the lease, I had even made a girl's night out of one day of the month.

It was something Mamoru was happy that I did since he became friends with them to. Granted not as close as I was with them, but he was on a friendly they accepted him level. Sort of like 'You're not a homicidal asshole that's going to hurt her so were going to let you live' type of friendship. We'd have some wine, not too much though but enough to relax and be chilled and stay in to catch up.

We found it to be more comfortable and pleasant than paying for over-priced drinks at a bar and having to find a cab to take us each home. Yeah it was fun to go out but after the club trips hit the credit cards and we just decided to drink and stay in for that once a month splurge it felt better and we felt more relaxed and at home. Plus we didn't have to try and walk around in heels while keeping our balance while inebriated.

We still did the bar scene once in a while but we were pretty done with it by this point. We decided to stick with the staying in-doors method. Our next one was coming up soon to. Just a few days so I had to definitely get some snacks. This week we'd be at my place. That was another thing to we alternated places to meet up at, either Rei's, Makoto's, Ami's, Minako's or mine and it worked out well.

I looked at my phone and noticed I had spent a good fifteen minutes thinking about things and was also now done with my tea. I put the now empty cup down and threw my purse and jacket on as Mamoru came into the room. He was finishing up some filing before we left out and needed to get it done before tomorrow. By the time we'd get back from his parents and get settled in for sleep there'd be no time afterwards to do so.

It's why I was sitting in the living room enjoying a cup of tea. "You ready to go to my parents?" he asked. I smiled. This was something else we did once a month. We would go to his parent's place to have Sunday dinner at the end of every month and to my parents place for Sunday dinner at the beginning of every month. The rest of the other Sundays were for us as a couple to be together.

It was something both sets of our parents insisted upon when we spoke with them about it. It was almost funny that while they had never met or spoken a word to the other set, they both agreed upon the same thing. Now that we had both found someone, each other, to be with and be happy with we should spend more time with each other to grow and yet still visit them so that they felt connected as parents but also had the rest of the Sunday's for themselves as couples. It was weird to hear that from the parental figures.

I had never thought I would be accepting to not be at my parents place every Sunday. I never relented on it with Diamond, but he also persisted on it whereas Mamoru never asked me once for a Sunday off from visiting them. He respected my decision as he too wanted to visit his again, so when he met my parents for the first time and I assured them I wouldn't miss a Sunday they insisted that 'a couple needs time together to grow together'.

Plus apparently they felt it was time THEY had some time together as a couple to as they grasped each other's hands. In one sense it was sweet and adorable, in another sense it was gross to see. I recall responding 'Well there's an image I'll never get out of my head' but accepted it and was happy for them nonetheless. Mamoru's parents had reacted similarly. I can still remember the first time they met me as Mamoru and I walked out of the apartment and got into his truck.

Turns out the truck, after the case was done with, was bought by him legit and he really liked driving it around. We hoped in as he drove. I continued to think about that dinner though as we drove along. Comfortable silence as Mamoru held my hand in his. It was as if I was a prized pick they saw walking through the door. I ended up finding out that Mamoru didn't bring a whole lot of women home to meet his parent's so it really did mean something to them to meet me. It was also something that they embarrassed him about to.

It had been the first time I had seen him nervous and seemingly humbled a bit especially since I was so nervous about this as well. I supposed for his part it was because in some form as much as he was this tough cop he was also someone's son. He got a dose of reality when he came home for events and it in a way humbled him. He became a bit more at ease and he became more nervous to.

It wasn't till the first time I walked through that door that I remembered like a bucket of water being dumped on you, it's never easy to meet the parents of the person you're dating for the first time. Even more so if they haven't really been in serious contact with their own child, even if the child is an adult had has been for years they are still their parent's child, and the other was gone but not forgotten.

Turns out he had really distanced himself from them after Hotaru passed which ended up hurting them a bit more as they felt like they had lost their son in a sense to as he decided to dedicate his life going forward to finding out who did it and how to get into a position of power to make it happen. He abandon his construction job and the medical degree he was working towards getting as he worked days and studied at night.

It was something I hadn't even been aware of at the time as he pursued the new passion to become a cop and gain justice for those who couldn't speak for themselves any longer and for the relatives that needed that bit of closure and justice in the end. He had felt that perhaps he pushed them away when in reality once we walked inside they were just happy they got their son back. It was almost like watching an emotional reunion happen.

I actually felt weird being there during that visit. It went from being a family dinner where they were to meet me for the first time to something else entirely. They were so happy to see him that I actually had started to walk back out to give them privacy but then his mother caught sight of me and stopped my progression of leaving. We wound up sitting down in the living room as Mamoru gave them a point by point version of the story. Not giving in to many details to avoid upsetting them but enough to let them know basically what had happened.

I could tell they were stunned by the events he was describing. It had to have taken a good fifteen to twenty minutes for everything to be explained. Never had they imagined that Diamond had been a serial killer and their only daughter was a victim of his and he was just now being caught for his crimes partially in thanks to his partner who coughed up the information to avoid a heavy jail sentence himself.

I had watched as they leaned on each other for emotional support as Mamoru tried to comfort them. He had reached over and put a hand testily on his father shoulders as his father accepted it and thanked him for the news. It got the point where I felt like merely watching them was prying on them on such an emotional and vulnerable moment. It wasn't till Mamoru mentioned my part in it that their shocked eyes turned to me. I remember the feeling I had to flee from the moment, as if I had done something wrong.

After all I dated Diamond. What if they had thought something was wrong with me for giving him so many chances to begin with. I had turned my head away on to be shocked by Mamoru's mother having placed her hands on mine as if to tell me it was okay. I couldn't speak as my own emotions were getting me caught up in the moment. I kept silent and listened as he recalled so many details that from his perspective seemed almost unreal.

When we had told them what happened it was like watching an incredibly emotional rollercoaster of reactions glide across their faces. Shock and anger that Diamond had in fact gotten away with this for years AND that he had someone on the inside still working to cover his tracks so he could keep going, mixed with the relief and happiness that he had been caught and was facing several lifetimes in jail for his crimes, was all rolled into one big speech of a story before that final door of closure was shut.

I could sense that some part of them even though I hadn't known them personally for more than a few minutes at that point seemed lighter. It was like the air in the room shifted. A force of positivity seemed to be soothing the energy within. It was like a weight had been removed now that they knew the culprit was paying for his crimes against their only daughter and that she has passed away oh so young.

We passed by a few lights on the freeway on the way still as I thought on that one for a few moments. I remember when we went over to tell my own parents about this. They couldn't believe it. Father nearly insisted I come live back with them but mother insisted that I stay out and NOT let fear dictate my life. It's what also helped me decide to stay by myself for a few more months before Mamoru and I moved in together.

When they heard the last parts of it they even asked to have their condolences sent to Mamoru's parents for the loose suffered. Right before they hugged Mamoru for the loose of his sister. I saw how stunned he was by the hug as he wasn't expecting it. It actually made him tear up. I think he spent so long fighting and working that he never truly let some of the emotions out and when they hugged him it was like the last part of him accepted that she was gone and that her killer had been brought to justice.

I looked over in the car at him as the plains of his face seemed lighter. Ever since we had the talks with both his and my own parents he seemed lighter. Like he faced a huge battle and was now allowed to live a life. One that he deserved to live. I put my hand on his own and laced our fingers together as he drove. He looked over at me from time to time, his deep blue eyes filled with calm content as we continued to ride in silence.

When I looked forward again I couldn't help but recall how my parents reacted. They expressed to me how they couldn't imagine how the pain must have felt to lose a child as they would never want to come close to imagining it. It was too painful to even think about. My mother had even stated 'You never want to imagine the pain because you're not supposed to outlive your own children'. That right there had me in tears of understanding and if anything made me feel more compassionate about it.

I never got to meet or know Hotaru yet she was still very much a part of our lives and that was something I wanted to in some way keep around and keep alive. Her memory and spirit. I remembered that's when Mamoru began to explain to them how we or his chief was able to charge Diamond first for the assault crimes then the ones for murder followed. And since Diamond was a former cop Mamoru made sure that he would get a straight and narrow lawyer and not a shady one.

No one wanted his unruly connections to help him evade charges on what he did. No one want to take the chance that Diamond would be able to pull a Houdini and got out to either terrorize again, or flee the country to a nonextradition country of his choosing. All it would take is a forget passport and ID card and he'd be able to take off. Plus he didn't even want to think about the possibilities of Diamond having more yen stashed away for 'emergencies' so he did everything he could at the time to ensure the murderous man would remain behind bars.

I remember during the conversation with his parents his father had asked 'So there's no parole?' as if confirming that the nightmare was over with. I remembered I had given a small smile and remarked 'It's okay, Diamond has been put away behind bars for the rest of his life. No chance of parole or anything.' They had been happy to hear it. It had been one of the highlights of the evening that we went over there on.

I recalled finishing off with 'He will never be released and currently if I remember correctly is even isolated on death row. There is no chance he will be let free ever again. He's not going to be able to hurt anyone anymore ever again'. Mamoru nodded to me that it was okay that I made this mention of death row to them. For a moment I worried that I wouldn't be allowed to express certain details to them.

'I'm glad that he's behind bars, though in a grave would be more preferred.' His father had muttered so I stated in a diplomatic voice 'With all due respect, I think death would be far to kind right now. For the acts he's committed he needs to be in constant fear from the other inmates. To feel the misery of his victims.' He looked to me in slight shock at that. I looked to Mamoru as he continued on with what I was aiming for.

'What she means is Diamond is a former cop, cops in the system like that are given an instant target on their backs. It's why he's also in isolation. To avoid getting assassinated by other inmates. He did put a lot of them away in that prison before he was found guilty of his own crimes.' He explained to them. They nodded, 'Good…' his mother had said making us all look to her in that moment.

'I want him to suffer, even if only for a little bit till he gets the chair or the needle. Let him feel the pain our daughter felt.' Her husband took her hand in his letting her know he understood her reasons why to as I felt for them both on losing their only daughter. I recalled I was holding my own tears at bay for the touching yet sad scene. It was in this unfortunate moment of chatting and revelations that Mamoru's mother looked to me and asked, 'You dated this man?'

I had to take a moment as the tears that had been welling up suddenly stopped as I had felt corner for a moment hoping that they wouldn't see me any less than what I was as a woman for their son. I still remembered the moment so vividly that I turned towards the car window as I blinked back tears remembering my words, 'Hai…I gave him a chance…' I had explained, 'I hadn't known what he had done previously.' I began, still recalling how after I found out of how dirty and sick to my gut it made me feel.

To know that I had willingly slept with him on more than one occasion or that we'd dated for a period of time always got me a bit sick. And during that conversation I had to explain why I did what I did, and somehow justify it. They took it better than my parents had. 'Though I will admit it wasn't one of my finer moments or decisions to make but one that happened to have been a part that lead to this turn of events.' His mother smiled, 'Arigato…your decision, though not the greatest, paved the way for him to be caught and locked away'.

I felt relieved by her words. I felt like in a sense my involvement wasn't seen for once as a 'why the hell did you get involved?' to 'your being involved helped'. It made me feel better about what had happened in the end despite everything that happened to get there. My parents had been less than pleased by it. They were understanding after everything else had been explained but being that they were MY parents they couldn't help but react.

My father trying to see what in his teachings with me faltered while mother just rolled her eyes and once he realized that I had used all of my tools at my disposal and had fought back as I did he relented on me. Though he still asked 'I still can't believe you dated him…he was weird to…' mother told me later on that he was more upset with himself for NOT seeing something when he met the guy. Mamoru even explained to him that had my father NOT taught me or insisted I know how to defend myself things could have ended differently.

It gave my father an ego boost and calmed the situation down. When we were at HIS parent's house however his father had been more than accepting and had smiled at me for fighting. He even hugged his son and let the tears fall down as well before telling me 'it seems our son has found a fighter, literally. I'm very happy about this.' his implication left us both blushing yet happy that I had been accepted.

The tension broke on that note as we all sat down in the dining room to enjoy our first Sunday dinner of the month. It would end up becoming a routine to do every month for us all to catch up and to build a better bridge for him and his parents and to build a new bridge between them and myself. He was so happy about the turn of events that later on that evening it made me also realize that Mamoru and I were more than just dating at that point. We weren't just boyfriend and girlfriend or lovers.

I turned to look at him again and smiled at how happy he made me. We were in a real committed relationship and I was nevermore content that we were in this relationship together. There was no waiting for a shoe to drop, no waiting for the curtains to fall on the act or wondering if there was someone lurking in the windows now it was just us. It was normal…or whatever the variation of normal is these days.

It was the happily ever after ending I had always wanted to have in my life but had started to feel like I wasn't going to get. The simply happy ending that we the few and far between are granted in life. It certainly wasn't what was going on beforehand with Diamond. I nearly snorted on that one in the car but resisted the urge to. Didn't need Mamoru asking me what I was thinking about right now.

Not to mention he was finally back to being close to his family again. Something that I know made them all happy. It wasn't almost as if it was a sense of closure. They may not have had a daughter anymore, but they had their son back fully with them and he had his parents back fully, I was just glad that they finally got to make that connection again and that it wasn't because of a sad note either. He had been fretting it before we left that day wondering if they would even accept that Diamond was in prison and NOT dead.

I know that for him to find that they were simply happy that justice was served for their sweet innocent daughter, it was a great evening for all. Well as great as an evening can get once that type of discussion is had. When we did get home later on that evening I prepared food for the week of lunches as I usually did for us both now so he wouldn't have to be eating out of vending machines at the precinct.

It was honestly feeling like a home. I never remembered making lunches for more than myself this often and it was nice. Suddenly everything seemed so right. I could almost imagine this going on when we had kids. I blushed in the car and turned more towards the window on that one. I pushed that thought from my mind to rid myself of the blush but also as I didn't want to make him feel pushed regarding it. While I did want kids I wanted them when he was ready for them as well so I pushed that thought from my head…for now.

The blush began to dissipate as I turned towards the front of the road. I was just glad that he had been 'assigned' to me. Though it did end up being a story for his chief when he stated a month later AFTER my part in the case was officially done with, something we were counting down the days on, and I gave my statement that we were in a committed relationship and even showed me off to some of the other cops on the force as we celebrated Diamond going to jail and solving the years long case.

I had to smirk upon remembering the moment the judge gave his ruling over the matter and Diamond's face just dropped. I think he actually expected to get away with everything. I don't know why he would think that I just know he must have to get that shocked and angered look on his face. Especially when he turned to his lawyer and started to yell at him with so many obscenities he would have made a sailor proud.

I will never forget that moment. He started to yell at the judge for the sentencing given. I nearly laughed at the stupidity of him as the judge tacked on the charge of 'contempt in court'. He barely shut his mouth but only because the bailiff began to read him his rights therefore interrupting his vulgar montage. It wasn't till he looked for me in the crowd that day that we made eye contact again for the first time in months. His eyes were cold, nearly vengeful but worst of all…they were still emitting that obsessive look.

I remembered feeling ill at that moment as I shook my head at his actions. I almost shook my head now but realized that would make Mamoru ask what was wrong so I simply gave a small sigh. I began to think on the humorousness of the following hours after the court event when we spoke to the chief about everything at the precinct. We ended up having a bit of a party there, just a small one in one of the back rooms. A commemoration of sorts for everyone involved with the case.

He could tell his chief knew about our relationship BEFORE hand as he did express a hint of a frown at the obvious business that wasn't supposed to happen but didn't say a word about that since it was never exposed in the case as we maintained that we were 'friends' if that and nothing more in all of the reports. It was something both of us made sure on as I didn't want him to get into trouble OR for Diamond to be give any chance through a technicality.

I didn't want something like a 'conflict of interests' to give Diamond a chance to post bail and take off. I kept my mouth sealed till it was done and over with as did Mamoru. It wasn't till we started to celebrate and everything was done with did we tell everyone close to him. That already according to Mamoru was a push to be accepted, us being just friends that is. Thankfully after the dust had settled it was okay for us to come out as a couple. As strange as that was to say though it did make me laugh a little.

So his chief had only one comment to make and that was 'at least someone can loosen up your tight ass', or something along those lines as the rest of his buddies gave him their own congrats in the form of jabs as he held onto me happily. I didn't care and neither did he as we enjoyed the company. Plus it comes in handy to be the girlfriend of a cop like him. I didn't have to worry about speeding anymore.

Not like I speed a lot but at least I had no worries. He had me put on one of those lists to not get pulled over, though it came with the compromise of having to promise I wouldn't get put on the list even once a month. I accepted it as we enjoyed the party. It was a very joyous event that evening and gave a lot of people peace and quiet once more. I know I slept better than ever before that night.

I remember the following days in the media the news came out of what had happened. That a killer had been on the loose thanks to the neighbors that reported it and put it up on YouTube after what happened that evening. Thankfully it hadn't been known for years so it really make the work on the police department look quick and swift but it made the people happy so it worked out.

The police even had to make an official statement regarding what had happened and what had happened since then. Which reminds me I nearly frowned recalling my less than pleasing appearance in the media outlets. Minako got a kick out of poking fun at my ragged appearance while Rei and Makoto gave me a thumbs up the following days afterwards for not only fight but for giving as good as I was given.

Ami had simply stated she was happy that I was okay as we chatted about the events. In my personal opinion I looked like a bloody, dirty scrawled mess on those iPhones and Note phones. It was like I had been in the 'Kill Bill' movies or something. I didn't realize how bad someone could appear after a massive fight like that. Mamoru on the other hand looked like a Greek god in the YouTube videos. Though we disagreed on that.

So after it had been found out that the killer, Diamond, had in fact been out there the police made their short statement and added on that the killer was found shortly and sent to prison for life for his crimes. It calmed everyone down and soon the next newest thing to obsess over was flowing like hot cakes. Diamond had faded out before he could fade in. It was basically history that never happened with him. I never more glad that had been the case.

I didn't need people remembering him and bringing him up constantly. Letting his murder spree for those several years live on like they were idolizing someone for their infamy in murders rather than the pain and suffering they caused the family. I rather it died down and allowed those who had suffered at his hands, physically and emotionally, to be brought peace. Let the victims live in memory not the murderer. I specifically know I had asked Mamoru about the case from time to time making sure there was no coming for him.

I had hated to admit it but there had been some times where, before I moved in with him, that I had had nightmares about Diamond coming back. I had started to work out more and spend a little bit more time at work on the nights I had to myself to avoid being able to think about him at all. Thankfully that went away after the first few weeks. Plus once I moved in with Mamoru any shred of them were gone for good.

I was just also glad he never thought I missed Diamond with me asking him on a monthly basis during that time whenever he came home late. His response was always the same, no one came out of the woodwork during that time to help Diamond. Granted I was glad but somehow I expected SOMEONE to pop up. Anyone. A parent, a sibling…anyone…a third cousin twice removed. Something.

Even just too simply visit him or ask him for something. He had literally no one that wanted to say even 'hi' once he was behind bars. I ended up finding that out and more from Mamoru though. He was an only child. His father left him and his mother as a child, as he wasn't prepared to take care of a kid at that time and feeling pressured to be a father when he wasn't ready. I guess the mother tried a few times to contact him but nothing.

His mother couldn't handle it, blamed him, and refused to acknowledge any faults she might have had in it and drowned herself in alcohol throughout the years leading to her eventual death of alcohol poisoning when he was in his late teens. It was no wonder he never spoke of them or let me find out. He didn't want to go into his own personal demons and let things out. You had to talk about personal issues and not let them become festering sores as he did with his.

So he got himself emancipated and got into becoming a few odd end jobs before he started to work as a cop. It was the only thing that was on paper than existed of him at that point. I debated on seeing him at the prison a few times but at the same time I couldn't fathom seeing him again. For one it felt too soon to do so and secondly I knew it was silly but I still held this irrational fear that he would get out somehow and try to take me again and it stopped me every time I thought to go see him.

So the thought of any relatives that MAY be around, even friends of his that he'd gained over the course of his lifetime not seeing him…especially since it turns out his father was still alive and hadn't come to see him stunned me and yet didn't at the same time. I felt a tad conflicted on that one. I mean on one hand that was his son, his girlfriend gave birth to him, but in any other form he wasn't Diamond's father and he made that a known fact.

When Mamoru found that out he also found out that the defense attorney had even tried to get ahold of the man only to be told by him before he was cut off the call that Diamond was 'no son of his' and had 'disgraced him' more than his leaving him as a child had. How that worked out I don't know. but it told me that that's how badly he burned his bridges with anyone that was left out there. Anyone that could have cared for him that was related or not.

I almost felt sorry for him…almost. While no one should go through life alone or go through what he did period that doesn't give one the right or the excuse to do what he did. I saw his actions as unforgivable right now and IF I ever did decide to forgive him it wouldn't be for a long time coming not to mention I could never forget what he'd done, not just to me but to the other women out there that had been hurt and worse by him. I looked forward in the car and saw that we were coming up to his parents place, time for Sunday dinner.