The Worst Part About Being Discorporated

By theanonymouslibrarians

Note: I do not own Good Omens or any of its characters.

Being discorporated was never fun. For one thing, it hurt. It wasn't like angels or demons could get sick or die of old age, so when they were discorporated, it was always due to violence. And another thing was the paperwork! Unlike angels, demons had no qualms about forcibly taking over hosts (1), but they still needed to submit paperwork to the head office (complete with signatures, pictures, and fingerprints) so that Hell could keep track of its operatives.

(1 Most demons, that is. Crowley was always a bit squeamish about completely ruining a person's life, so he usually waited until someone was all but dead before taking control of a new host.)

However, the worst part was the change of appearance. Because it meant that Crowley had to give up his old life. Any human friendships he'd made in his old body couldn't be maintained. He had to miracle his way into his own home and then miracle his belongings to a new home. Of course, Crowley could always have altered the memories of any humans he came into contact with, but that was just a bit too much work. All of that was extremely annoying. But then there was the fact that Aziraphale wouldn't recognize him. Usually this was only for a short bit.

Their vessels were like clothes. Angels and demons could still see through the human part to the being inside, but it took a bit of time. It was like seeing someone you hadn't seen in years someplace unexpected. Like being in your fifties and running into your primary school teacher at the gym. At first you don't recognize her. Then you start to think that she looks a bit familiar. And finally you realize that this is Mrs. Smith, she's gotten older, and she does not wear a dress or a pantsuit 24/7. Sometimes this recognition process could take minutes. Sometimes it could take days. But always there was the moment of time when Crowley would look into his angel's eyes and see absolutely nothing. No recognition. No affection. Only a polite disinterest. And no matter how many times Crowley was discorporated and had to reintroduce himself to his angel, it hurt just as much as the first time.