Title: The Hardest Word
Author: dragonfly
Category: drama, family, feels, bromance
Warnings: Spoiler for major event in season 3.
Rating: K
Summary: Goodbye seems to be the hardest word. Missing scene from beginning of 3x14.
Disclaimer: I don't own MacGyver.

"You invited me here to…"

"To say goodbye to a good friend."

MacGyver's gaze slowly dropped away as reality set in. He scratched absently at his arm. It was a nervous tic that had started fairly recently. "And the assignment…?"

The words caught in Jack's throat momentarily before he was able to force them out. "It's open-ended."

MacGyver's eyes shot back to his.

"I don't come home until we find Kovac and completely disassemble his network."

Tears filled wide, blue eyes. Shaking his head, MacGyver ran a hand through his hair; another nervous tic. "Jack, you gotta–"

"You can't come, man."

"Why the hell not? Where you go, I go, remember? I'm sure they wouldn't–"

"Bud," Jack interrupted softly, "not this time. This is something I gotta take care of myself. My own mess."

"What are you talking about? Your problems are my problems."

Few would have been able to detect the quiver in MacGyver's voice, the rising panic–but Jack could, and it was tearing him up inside. "Mac–"

"You taught me that."

It was barely whispered, but its impact shattered what was left of Jack's heart. He had spent years getting past the kid's defenses, trying to convince him that he could be trusted, that they were a team, family–and years tearing down his walls from the inside. And now... "Mac–" he rasped thickly, tears blurring his vision. But as he reached for him, MacGyver stepped away and pressing his palms into the kitchen counter, bowed his head.

"I should have called when I was in Nigeria," he whispered dejectedly.

Jack frowned, not following. "Bud, this has nothing to do with–" And then it hit him…right in his already broken heart. "Oh, kid." Stepping closer, Jack wrapped his hand around MacGyver's arm, but he didn't pull, he didn't force him to look at him. He begged. "Come on, man, look at me. Please."

Head still bowed, shoulders hunched, MacGyver shook his head. "I just…I didn't…I was afraid–"

"Hey," Jack did give a light tug this time until MacGyver was facing him, "I know why you didn't call me, brother. You don't have to explain. You apologized. It's in the past."

Looking everywhere but at his Overwatch, MacGyver struggled to keep his face from reflecting what was in his heart. This was hard; harder than he could have imagined. "W–uh, will you be able to have outside contact?" Folding his arms across his chest, he gripped his elbows, suddenly feeling cold, vulnerable, exposed.

"I don't know, hoss." He could hear the regret in Jack's voice. "But listen, did you hear what I said?"

Nodding dismissively, MacGyver dug his fingers into his eyes; forcing the tears back. He felt like…He felt like…

A warm, calloused hand wrapped around the back of his neck. "Mac," Jack stressed, pulling him in closer, "this isn't punishment. I'm not–I'm not walking away from you, son."

MacGyver squeezed his eyes shut tighter; embarrassed that that was exactly how he felt. He knew he was being irrational. He knew it wasn't up to Jack. He just–

"Hey, you hearin' me?" Jack squeezed the back of his neck again, forcing him out of his head. "You're my boy, Mac. We've been over this." He pulled him into his arms and MacGyver found himself gripping his shirt as if he were a lifeline. The tightness in his throat and grief in his heart were making it too hard to speak, so he did the only thing he could, while he still could: he held on.

"Make sure you eat."

He half laughed/half sobbed.

"And don't…don't go getting lost in that head of yours too much, all right? Make sure you come out of there and look up once and awhile–see the roses, or the bad guy about to take your head off."

MacGyver nodded, even though he wasn't sure he could make it a promise. Sometimes it seemed like Jack was the only one that could find him when he got lost in his head. They had become so intertwined over the years. He had come to depend on, and even take advantage of the fact that Jack would always be there...even when MacGyver wasn't. He didn't know if he could do this without him.

As if reading his mind, "People need you, Mac. This world needs you."

Unable to voice his own needs, MacGyver just held onto him tighter.

"This isn't goodbye."

It felt like it.

"Before you know it, I'll be back delighting you with my charm and drinking your beer."

MacGyver ignored the tear that was about to slip free. "Promise?"

Jack palmed the back of his head. Voice thick and arms solid around him, "Everything I do, kid, will be so that I can get back to you. Everything."

It wasn't a Wookie promise. It couldn't be. Wookie promises were unbreakable, and sometimes soldiers died.

The tear slipped free. "Jack–"

"Everything." His brother, his friend, his protector, the father he never fully appreciated was right in front of him pulled him in closer.

It was as much of a promise as he could make, and they both knew it.