The first chapter of this story was written for Elsanna Shenanigans June 2019 Contest with the prompt being fear of the dark (word limit: over 750 words, no upper limit). Please check out elsanna-shenanigans on tumblr for more information on the monthly prompt contests or join us on discord at discordDOTgg/TU9NpnH (you know what to do with that DOT).

broken lights

chapter 1: pieces

Elsa watched people move by over the brim of her red cup. She didn't necessarily like beer, but she liked being sober in a room of drunk idiots even less than that. Some of it had to be getting into her, though, cause she barely even felt the hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Snowball, we're leaving." The don't call me that died on her lips before it could even form well. There was just no point in trying to get Cass to stop. It's been two years and it never died down, it wasn't going to now all of a sudden. "Do you need a lift?"

She glanced up at Cassandra. She looked better than she did half an hour earlier, and certainly much happier. Elsa didn't even have to look at the pretty blonde girl clinging to Cass's side to know why. She'd seen that smirk before.

She considered her options. On one hand, she didn't know anybody here aside from Cassandra, so her leaving meant Elsa would be completely alone on what could well be the far end of the world. On the other, sitting in the cab while those two would certainly be making out in the backseat… yeah, she could pass on that experience.

"No, I think I'll stay for a while longer," she said just loud enough to get through over the music, but still not to gather too much unwanted attention. Cass was opening her mouth to say something, so she quickly added, "maybe I'll have some luck tonight."

That had Cass smiling. "Good thinking," she said, the smirk somehow never faltering even with her mouth open. "You could really use some, Els."

They both knew she didn't mean luck. Elsa blushed.

The girl at Cassandra's side tugged on her shirt. "The Uber's gonna be here in two minutes," Elsa heard her slur while she swayed, looking at her phone. She'd have sent Cass an angry look if only Cass wasn't just as drunk as the girl she was taking home and still had some fucks left to give.

"We're going," Cass assured her, before turning back to Elsa. She bowed down to level their faces, then muttered quietly, "speaking of luck… there's a girl sitting in the corner over there. She's been looking at you for some time now."

She didn't seem to mind Elsa's disbelieving look when she took the girl by the waist, then turned around to send her one last wink before they were both out of the room.

Elsa sighed and turned to discreetly look for the girl Cass could be talking about, but most people in the room were either busy talking, busy making out or busy being passed out. The music changed to a harder beat that was drilling through her skull, sending rippling waves through the surface of her beer and putting her heart in a dissonance. Some two guys tried to do a handstand right in front of her, so she moved to the far end of the sofa, just in case any of them were to fall on her.

When she moved, it was like a whole different world emerged before her eyes. The room was bigger than she'd remembered from when she entered, too busy balancing the overflowing cups to really pay any attention to the surroundings. But now that she had a clearer view, she could wager a guess this living room alone was bigger than her entire flat. Involuntarily, her mind returned to scanning the area, looking for the girl Cass told her about.

Just when she wanted to give up, the back of her neck prickled with the feeling of being observed. She followed the feeling, dragging her eyes through the faces in the crowd, until at last they landed on the group in the corner.

For a sweet, blissful second, it didn't click. The fierce eyes seemed familiar, but it was the anger in them that struck her at first. She instantly felt like a scolded child, like she was standing over a huge mess that she'd made and she was just discovered by her mo–

And then it was like a bucket of ice-cold water on her head. Her mother's eyes. Her mother's eyes were staring at her angrily from the other side of the vast room, judging her every move.

But her panic only spiked higher when she realized that those were, in fact, not her mother's actual eyes.

It was Anna.

She was sitting with a group of friends, holding a cup much like Elsa's. Her younger sister was sitting with a group of friends in the same room, on the same party, sending her death threats with her glare.

What was she even doing here? She wasn't old enough to drink yet, and this was a college party–

Her mind went blank when she saw a friend of Anna's lean over to her and say something in her ear, all the while Anna was keeping her eyes on Elsa. The guy then looked at her as well, before he smirked and nudged Anna.

She broke the eye contact briefly and seemed to bark something angrily back at the friend, but he just nudged her again and laughed. She punched him in the shoulder, then said something Elsa wished she could hear, but that was impossible with the booming music and all the people around.

She was glued to her seat. All of her sensible mind was screaming at her to get out of here, but panic turned her to a stone gargoyle perched uncomfortably on this godforsaken sofa.

Anna threw her hands in the air and Elsa could swear she heard her shout, but then all her senses were numbed when Anna locked eyes with her again. Her gaze was even angrier than before, but there was something else in it now that she couldn't read. She kept her gaze bored into Elsa as she stood up, and slowly, shouldering her way through the dancing people, made her way across.

If she was turned to stone before, then right now Elsa was the most immovable object in the entire universe. It was like her entire nervous system shut down and she was trapped in her body, forced to watch her sister approach but unable to do anything about it.

Like run. The sensible thing was to dash out the house and not look behind.

Now that she was closer, Elsa could feel the full force of Anna's stare. She was furious, from the fire in her eyes, through the creased forehead to clenched teeth. And fists. She was approaching faster now and Elsa was sure she was gonna deck her in the jaw.

She could hear her red cup crumple and feel the beer spill on the sofa when Anna stood just above her, hands shaking at her sides, lips pressed together so tightly they were as pale as the rest of her face.

And just when Elsa's body found its voice, and she wanted to say something, to maybe appease her sister somehow because she damn well couldn't afford to have a black eye in the morning, there were knees on both sides of her lap, her cup pushed to the floor to spill, body leaning against her chest, fingers yanking her hair harshly.

Lips pressing into hers so hard they were bruising and a tongue parting her teeth.

This lasted for maybe a few seconds, but for Elsa it felt like an entire lifetime. Anna's lips were so soft it was almost unbelievable with how rough she was kissing her. Her tongue sliding over Elsa's sent jolts of electricity down Elsa's spine.

Her sister was kissing her.

Anna's hand in her hair pulled tighter, and Elsa had to focus every fiber in her being not to moan into her mouth. Her fingernails scratched Elsa's scalp painfully, while her other hand rested at the nape of her neck, a menacing presence that told Elsa there was no running away.

Her sister was kissing her.

Their teeth crashed together painfully, but that was nothing compared to how Anna bit down on her lower lip, hard enough that Elsa was sure there'd at least be a bruise, if not a full-blown bloody cut. For once her frozen body proved useful, because she was sure she'd otherwise buck her hips into Anna.

Her sister was kissing her.

And then it was over. Anna pulled away and stood up in a flash, leaving Elsa dumbfounded, half leaning against the back of the sofa, and the two guys who tried to do handstands clapping and cheering.

She sent her one last hateful plus something entirely different than before look before she nodded curtly and turned around to go back to her group, while Elsa could only watch her hips sway as she went.

And then it hit her full force.

Her sister just kissed her. In front of all these people. Practically pinned her down to the sofa and made out with her like it was a completely normal thing to do.

Elsa touched her bruised lip, while the handstand guys snickered something to her left.

That look. That look in Anna's eyes, that something she couldn't quite put before. It was a challenge. Anna was challenging her to do something. To stop her, maybe, but Elsa was unable to, fully hypnotized by the sheer absurdity of the situation.

And afterwards… she looked disappointed.

Elsa has just disappointed her own sister by letting her kiss her.

She splashed cold water on her face, revelling in how nice the cool droplets felt against her heated skin.

Once she regained control of her body, she practically ran from the room, almost falling down when she slipped on her own spilt beer.

But instead of running from this strange house and as far away as her admittedly somewhat drunk feet could carry her, she made her way upstairs in search of a bathroom.

She thought she was going to throw up.

So many thoughts raced in her head. Why did Anna do that? Why did she do that so casually? Did her friends know? She just went and sat back with them, high-fived the guy that nudged her previously and then seemed to carry on like nothing just happened, only sending Elsa this challenging glance every now and then while she just sat there. One of the handstand guys tried to talk to her–honestly, the only thing she really heard him say was that was so hot–but she ignored him, eyes still transfixed on her apparently crazy sister.

And when she ran, and turned one last time to look at her, Anna's face was disappointed again.

She splashed more water, until her face was numb from the cold.

She never did throw up. Her head was full of wool and her stomach was queasy, but it was just not this stage of drunk yet. She actually wished she could come back down and have another beer or six until she either threw up or blacked out, but there was no way she was going to get back down now.

She had to find a place to hole herself up in until everyone left, just so she wouldn't have to see her again.

She could still taste the drink Anna was having on her tongue.

For some reason, this only made her want to cry.

Her sister kissed her.

She splashed even more water in her open eyes until they stung with something other than tears.

Why the hell would Anna do that?

Somebody knocked on the door.

"Just a second," she heard herself say in a raspy, broken voice that felt like it came out of the mirror she was looking into, not her own throat.

That someone didn't seem to hear her, or was just plain ignoring what she said, cause they kept hammering the door like they were tasked with removing it from its hinges.

"I said just a second!" she shouted, angry at this impatient idiot, angry at Cassandra for leaving her, angry at herself, angry at Anna.

Why the hell would she do that?

She didn't understand what the voice on the other side said, but she understood the urgency. The guy really was going to break the door in if she didn't let him in now.

She wiped her face on the towel hanging by the sink, looked at herself in the mirror for one last time and then unlocked the door, which immediately swung open to reveal a very sick looking guy. He shoved past her and went straight for the toilet, and Elsa could only be glad she left the seat up.

The guy didn't seem to mind her presence at all, but still she quickly made her way out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her, giving him that courteous bit of privacy.

She turned away from the door and her heart stopped for one more time this evening.

"Hi."

Did she stalk her? Was she waiting outside the bathroom for her to get out? She just… stood there, casually, arms crossed over her chest as she leant against the wall in the narrow corridor, looking at Elsa with that same piercing gaze as before.

"Hi?" was what Elsa managed to blurt out. She looked down the hall but there was no one there but the two of them, no one to save her from this interaction.

She should simply walk away.

"Yeah, hi." Anna raised her brows. "That's how you usually greet people you know, isn't it? Or do you–"

"What the fuck, Anna!?"

Finally, that seemed to get through Anna's aloof demeanor. Her eyebrows went down and furrowed over her nose, jaw set. She pushed herself away from the wall, eyes fierce again as she advanced on to Elsa, who instinctively tried to take a step back only to be met with the wooden bathroom door.

Now she was sure Anna was going to hit her.

"What the fuck, Anna?" she repeated after her instead. "This is the first time you talk to me in fucking years and you have the audacity to say this?"

Elsa blushed. "You–"

"Yeah, I kissed you," Anna cut in, rolling her eyes. "Big fucking deal. Get over it."

She moved even closer, and Elsa felt incredibly, impossibly small.

"I'm sorry–"

"Yeah, no, that's not gonna do it," Anna spat, looking at her with such fiery rage she could almost feel the actual heat on her face. She tried to shrink in her place when Anna slammed her open hand into the wall just beside Elsa's face. Anna laughed. "Are you scared of me?"

Elsa looked down at the floor in shame.

"Aww, now, don't be like this." Anna moved her thumb under her chin to make her face her again, but Elsa's eyes remained downcast. "You look like a beaten puppy."

What the hell was wrong with h–

Anna's lips were on hers again. She could taste the booze on her breath.

"Anna!" Elsa pushed her away. "What–"

Anna just laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You look so devastated," she said over the drunk giggles. "Chill out, it's just a kiss."

"You're my sister."

"Am I?" Anna's face was back to the same harsh expression as before. "Didn't really feel like it for the past few years."

Elsa's heart stung with pain. "But the people–"

"My friends don't even know I have a sister," she cut in again, shrugging. "I bet yours don't either."

Elsa just looked at the floor again.

"That's what I thought."

"Why did you do that?"

Anna blinked at her. "A bet," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "A friend betted I wouldn't get a college girl to make out with me. I won a twenty."

She didn't even try to ask why on earth would she choose her. "And now?"

"Now's just for fun."

Before Elsa could ask any further questions, like why in the holy fuck would you decide this is a fun family activity? Anna kissed her again, softer this time, yet at the same time just as heated as before. Elsa's bruised lip hated every moment of it, but she found herself grabbing the back of Anna's shirt and shivering as Anna's hand made it up her chest to grip her neck again, keeping her locked in place while her tongue parted Elsa's teeth, like before, claiming her mouth as her own territory as she explored it freely.

This time, she couldn't stop the needy whine.

Anna pulled away. "You liked it before."

Elsa shook her head weakly.

"You did. Don't lie to me."

There was something about the way she said it that made Elsa's knees weak.

"Anna, please–"

"Just admit it."

She didn't say anything.

"Well, I did," Anna breathed over her mouth. Elsa shivered again. "Not that hard to say it, you know?"

She was too close again.

"Just–"

This time it was Elsa who cut her off, abandoning all of her sanity to reach for the prize in front of her. She could hear the guy throw up in the bathroom just behind the door she leant on as her sister parted her lips to let her in, and this time Anna played more passive. She let her explore on her own, only responding to whatever Elsa did. Her hand slid down from Elsa's neck to the middle of her back to pull her closer, while Elsa's own hands somehow found their way into Anna's hair and just above her ass.

Anna pulled away again, and looked at her with something entirely new in her eyes.

It was Elsa who spoke first. "Someone…"

Anna nodded. "Come with me."

Elsa didn't know what she was doing. Anna was obviously extremely drunk, she could see it in the way she walked and hear it in the way she slurred when she talked, and Elsa herself wasobviously out of her mind when she followed her to a room just beside the bathroom. The door was unlocked.

Anna stopped. She turned to look at her with those piercing eyes again.

"Are any of the people down there your friends?" she asked the most bizarre question Elsa could imagine in this situation.

"No," she answered honestly, looking into the dark room as Anna pushed the door open. There was no point in even trying to lie. Anna… this girl that Anna was now seemed to always look through her charades.

"Mine neither," Anna admitted softly, so soft even her gaze was not boring a hole through Elsa's skull anymore. "Safe for that one guy. I don't even know why I'm here."

Elsa gulped. "Me neither."

"Crazy, isn't it?"

"There's a few crazier things about this night."

Anna laughed again, but she sounded honest this time, and Elsa found herself relax to that. "I guess you're right."

She grabbed Elsa's hand and walked in the dark room, pulling her along. Elsa patted the wall beside the door, but she moved too fast, slamming the door behind them.

"Wait, the–"

"What, are you afraid of the dark?" Anna giggled again, pulling her over to what Elsa could barely tell was a bed, or something akin to a bed. The curtains were pulled close over the lone window in the room.

It was really dark.

"I'm not." But I'm losing my sanity.

"Then just leave it be." And I fear what I'll do in this dark room.

"Alright." Where no one can see us.

She was pushed into the dark abyss, but she landed on something soft. A bed, and a thick duvet over it that she sank into when Anna climbed on top of her, unceremoniously, capturing Elsa's lips in an instant without as much as a single warning.

You're my sister.

Anna's hips bucked into hers hard and the last shreds of sober logic slipped Elsa's mind for a moment.

Little Anna.

Her hands were now under Elsa's shirt, nails grazing across her stomach like a burning steel wire.

I'm sorry I left.

She pulled away for a moment to catch a breath, and in the darkness, with Anna's hair forming a veil around her head, Elsa could only vaguely see her eyes. There was a question in them. A question she needed to answer.

She nodded, and Anna's hand moved upwards from her stomach, while her face lowered to meet her lips again.

Oh dear god.

Anna's fingers slipped under her bra while her tongue was so deep in Elsa's mouth she couldn't even tell where her own ended and Anna's started.

What am I doing.

Elsa's own, treacherous right hand found its way under Anna's t-shirt, sliding across her ribs, counting them on the way like the steps to a temple, fingertips sliding over every bump on her skin in a reverie, slow and steady and set on a single goal.

What are we doing.

Her head spun in a drunken vertigo when Anna's nose bumped into hers, forcing her deeper into the soft, safe duvet, where she fell in like through a rabbit role, pulling Anna close behind with that one hand over her little sister's breast.

I am so sorry.

With one last sane thought, her other hand roamed the nightstand behind the bed. There was a box there that she threw off, but Anna didn't seem to mind. Something heavy she pushed out of the way noisily, but Anna didn't seem to mind. And then she found what she was looking for.

A bedside lamp.

I need to see your face.

She fumbled around to find the switch, while Anna's other hand was snaking down her stomach this time.

I need to see you.

She found something and tried to push it.

I need to know who you are. I need to see your face. I need to know who you are. I need to stop. I need to stop. I to see and sto–

She pushed, and for a moment there was light. She saw as much as she could of Anna's face–her forehead glistening with sweat, the freckles on her cheeks and nose, and her eyes, wide open in shock–

Then the bulb cracked, flickered out and shattered, some glass pieces falling on Elsa's hand, and all that was left were those two eyes staring at her in the darkness.

Anna gasped in surprise at the loud noise, but never broke the kiss. Elsa even felt her smirk through it all.

I need to see your face.

But that was not possible anymore. Her last hope died along with this light, and her resolve faltered as Anna's hand slid under the rim of her pants. Her own hand became greedier, kneading and pulling at Anna's skin, trying to get as much of it as she could.

Just for now. For this one night.

Anna bit down on her already bruised lip again and Elsa hissed into her mouth, quickly silenced by a dominant tongue sliding over her teeth and palate, savoring every inch of the soft flesh inside. She moved her hand away from the lamp and into Anna's hair, pulling her even closer as her younger sister's hand moved down, between her legs, nails teasing her sensitive skin as she slid them across her thighs, moving away, moving in, until–

Fuck.

She pulled Anna closer yet, feeling her crush her own lungs, lips leaving lips as she went on to suck on Anna's collarbone.

Fuck.

In the dark, she couldn't see her.

Fuck.

But she was sober enough to know.

Fuck.

Tears broke free from her eyes, and she hoped Anna would not notice.

Fuck.

This broken light couldn't help her now.