A/N: WARNING!

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AHEAD!

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED YA SCALLYWAGS!

To clarify, this is a world where Minato and Kushina lived.

Consider this a Saver!Naruto, as one who want to save Beast. If he can.

(EDIT!) Sadly this isn't probably wont much attention, given that it has Fate Extra material...

...that makes me a sad boy. I don't get paid for any of this, and I don't take any funding. Reviews are my only currency. T_T

A Most Unlikely Rider and A Most Unlikely Gunner are suffering because I chose to include characters from that 'verse, as it were, and that only makes me all the more depressed. Really hurts when you pour your heart and soul into something, only to get jack all for it, you know?

Whoever introduced me to Kiara...well. You have only yourself to blame for this, then.

There it is; I've said it, I'm going to write a story with her in it and you have been bloody WARNED. I'm sure many of you are familiar with her *ahem* eccentricities from Fate Grand Order, but you may not have known she was in another game before that.She's also the bloody reason Fate Extra CCC didn't get a localization. Thankfully a man has connections and HOLY SHIT KIARA WHY?! That's some crazy shit right there!

Bad Kiara! Back in your box, Kiara! This is why we can't have nice things!

So lets explain!

Long story short! She's a master in a Holy Grail War on the Moon. Traditionally she summons Caster, a.k.a Hans Andersen...but, well, this opportunity was just too good to pass up.

Now, we've had our fair share of Naruto(s) who had a bad turn in life. Now we see one where everything went absolutely right. Now we have a smart, calculating Naruto who isn't afraid to speak his mind or give voice to his...well. Desires.

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it. I get the feeling they won't given that its Fate Extra T_T

And if Kiara want something...well, she usually gets it. Eventually.

HOWEVER! This time she has some competition on that front!

From a most unlikely source...hahaha! Pun intended.

Finally, this Naruto is wearing Jonin attire~!

"Bad nun! BAD! Control yourself!"

"Ow! Why did you hit my-

"CONTROL!"

~?

A Most Unlikely Saver

"Daddy, are you a bad person?"

My daughter girl asked me that today before her mother shooed her away.

...I don't think I've ever seen my wife laugh so hard in my life. It was almost a little scary, really.

For some reason, that question made me laugh, too. Me? A bad person? I've done some things I'm not proud of, but at the end of the day I'm comfortable with I am, you know? I always did my best to save people. Even when it hurt. Even when it nearly cost me my life. It was simply my nature. I didn't let it define my self-worth; but it was my goal all the same. Defend. Protect. Save. I may not "look" like a good guy in this Jonin getup-damn promotion still feels weird-but I feel like one; like I'm one step closer to my dream. In the end, good and evil are subjective. Me? I believe most people are good.

Take my parents, for example. They were both willing to DIE, for my sake.

They loved me that much. Enough to give their lives for me.

To seal the Kyuubi-Kura!-inside me.

But they didn't die. They survived, somehow. I'm not quite sure how they managed to pull that one off...dad always skirted around the subject. Mom outright refused to tell me. I think it had something to do with the Third Hokage. Did he give his life in place of theirs? Or was it something darker? More sinister? Who knows? I didn't care back then and if we're being perfectly honest, I don't now. Why question that? They. Are. Alive. Thanks to them, I never grew up alone. Because of them, was never ostracized. I never knew the pain of loss. On the contrary, I had all the love and affection I could ever want.

It made me want to share that love and prosperity with others.

And so my life changed.

They were the definition I defined myself by; they were the stand to which I held myself. They were good. They were heroes. They saved people, just as they'd saved me. Everyone loved them.

Some may say otherwise; that pardoning the Uchiha clan was a mistake. Too gentle. Too merciful. Bah! Let them. There will always be a few bad apples-a few rotten souls who delight in causing pain-but once you pluck or squash them, people tend to prove themselves. Most of us want to do the right thing. We want to be good. To help others. To be the hero. You'd be surprised what happens when you nurture that potential. Sometimes battles can be won without lifting a finger; rather, simply by talking to your enemy. I may have cultivated that possibility to the extreme. Oh, I fought when and where I had to, but in reality, I just learned to...listen. To talk. They taught me that much. Hmm. You're probably confused by now. Perhaps I should start over.

Remember that question at the beginning?

"Am I a bad person?"

You see, my wife was the one to ask me that question first. It was...what, three decades ago now, I think? Maybe that's why she found it so funny, y'know? She's been with me as long as I can remember; in fact, my first real memory was of her. I treasured my parents dearly, but I treasured her, too. A woman locked behind a cage. A woman clad in a red kimono with fox-ears, nine tails, slitted scarlet eyes and wild ruby hair. She visited me in my dreams at first; tried to give me nightmares as I grew up. I didn't know who she was, not at first, but I was never afraid. I think that...confused her. She never spoke to me, not at first.

I took it upon myself to help her.

One night, when she dragged me out of my dreams, I started talking to her...about the most random things. "Who are you? Where do you come from? What's your favorite color? Are you lonely in there?" I'll never forget the expression she wore; she was utterly confounded. By the third night, she looked like wanted to reach through those bars and throttle me. I don't blame her. I was a mouthy child. Talk, talk, talk! Back then I was full of questions, always wanting to see, to know, to help people. If it hadn't been for the seal, I suspect she would've killed me long before I left an impression on her. I was relentless and curious, as only a youngling can be.

One night, she screamed at me and shook the cage, demanded to know what I was playing at.

"Are you a bad person?"

I said no; that I was nothing of the sort.

"Then why? she snarled. "Do you enjoy tormenting me like this, you little brat?! Are you a sadist or something?!"

Back then, I didn't know what a sadist was. So I told her the truth; that I wanted to help her. That she looked...well, sad. She kicked me right out of the dream with a roar and didn't visit me again...

"Get out! Leave me alone! Don't you dare show your face here again!" And she didn't.

...until I found a way to enter the seal myself a week later.

All I had to do was pester Mom. She'd been the Kyuubi's container after all, even if I didn't know it at the time. She was my mum. I thought she knew everything; that she could help me with these strange dreams that I had been having. She probably thought it was a grand joke of some sort; because she happily taught me how to get in there over Dad's protests. Maybe this was her way of getting payback against her old tenant. Maybe she knew what I was trying to do. Maybe it was simply a fit of whimsy on her part. Who knows?

In any event, I finally made the connection, much to the woman's dismay.

She still had the power to kick me out, but that didn't dissuade me.

I was young. I was stubborn.

I.

Just.

Kept.

Talking.

I can't really tell you when things began to change; there was no sudden event, no grand eruption of towering fury. I talked to fill the silence; before I knew it, she talked back. Slowly at first. Little more than a sentence here and there, always mocking, always viciously irreverent. And then, one day, she told me her name. Kura. Years down the road, she offered to teach me things. Jutsu. Tricks. Techniques she'd gleaned over a long and lonely existence. In return, I promised to find a way to release her from the seal without killing us both. And I succeeded...eventually.

I'd saved her. Without even trying, I unknowingly saved her.

But tell me, what does it mean to save someone? Truly?

To help them, to guide them. To listen to them.

I did all that and more, and in doing so...

...the world gradually changed.

I've always been persuasive like that; turning my enemies into my allies. What?! I like helping people! I convinced a Demon of the Mist to abandon his employer and come back with us to Konoha. I squared off against a certain Snake and was promptly bitten for my troubles, but in doing so, my friend was never swayed from his path. I endured that ghastly mark in his place. The power was a nice trade-off for a time, but she helped me temper it. Control it. Make it something more than what it was. Eventually we rid ourselves of it entirely.

We saved a country.

We beat some sense into a stubborn Hyuuga.

We out-stubborned and befriended a homicidal redhead.

We traveled to a land of snow and ice and overthrew a tyrant.

When a masked man tried to kidnap us, I invited him in for a bowl of ramen.

Should've seen Dad's face when he realized it was Obito. "Tobi" never had a chance.

I didn't NEED to seek out and convince the Akatsuki-not when Obito turned on them so handily-but I did so anyway. Perhaps that was suicidal of me. Definitely reckless. I had to fight some of them of course, but at the end of the day, I convinced them. I saved them. The only one I couldn't help was Madara; well, him and Zetsu. They were too far gone by the time I finally met them, too wrapped up in this suicidal plan of theirs to hear common sense. They hated me. What I was. What I stood for. I refused to let anything break me; naturally, they took exception to that and tried to shatter me in the worst way possible. Once again I believe most people are good; perhaps not all, but most. They wanted me to fight them. In the end, they got what they wanted.

It wasn't what they expected.

Ohhhhh the chewing out I got for that was legendary. Mom nearly throttled me.

I'm starting to think this skill of mine might be a little...unnatural. People are calling it the "Talk no jutsu" these days. I don't think its a jutsu, though? I just...talk. And people listen. By rights, I shouldn't have been able to do any of these things. Yet, somehow, I did. Whenever someone would come after me, I talked. They listened. I asked them what they wanted in life. You'd be surprised how many people are willing to work with you when you listen to their life story. I've converted some of the worst, most reprehensible villains nearly overnight.

I'm a talker. Always have been.

At the end of it all, I talked down a mad goddess from destroying my world. Even got her to release my friends and abandon her insane plan to rule the whole of creation. I refused to fight her. I simply asked her what she wanted-what she really wanted-and pestered her until she finally caved. Perhaps that makes me crazy. Illogical.

Silver tongue you say? Perhaps so.

Now, somehow, she thinks I'm her kid. I'm...kinda terrified really. With a monster of mother like that...well. You don't want to piss her off. Doesn't matter if she willingly let us seal the bulk of her power away; she could easily snap my neck through brute strength alone if I pushed her too far. But I can't bring myself to reciprocate those feelings. You see, I'm already in love with another monster. Does that make me a bad person? I've never once lied to anyone about that. "She" always came first, no matter how many romantic entanglements cropped up over the years.

What's that? Open relationship you say? Something along those lines. Never really understood why Kura was alright with it. Hell, she encouraged it! The stories I could tell...!

But she was the first, the one nearest and dearest to my heart. She saved me, and so I made it my mission to save her. Until I finally did.

Look, I'm really not that special, you know?

I'm just a stubborn idiot who fell in love with a fox.

I'm an idiot who tried to save a Beast who came hunting us, and I aim to help him yet.

I pity that creature; we fought, I beat him back, and I tried to help him. Rather than accept it, he fled. But how do you help something like that? Something that tears its way through worlds without rest? I could kill him. I know I can. But I don't want to I want to save him. That might be a mistake on my part, but I'll be damned if I don't try. If not in this life, then the next. He swore he'd be back, that he'd kill my heirs and their children's children. That he'd burn us all.

That...might be problematic. For him. Kids are damn strong these days.

Those runts are going to change the world...if the nine of them don't kill each other. Ach, nine!

If you'd told me as a boy that I would have NINE children at the age of thirty-five, I would've smacked you. Hard.

They're growing up so damn fast; they're going to be champions, I just know it. Now if only they could just sit still for ten seconds.

Twins for Kura, two more from Hinata, one with Shion and one for Koyuki, then finally one with Karin. No, wait! Almost forgot Yugito and her girls. Hmm. Should probably go check in on the little scamps after their last food fight. God, I love those kids. They're all a handful, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. That there's nine of them is...ironic. One for each of Kura's tails. I'm not sure if there's a joke to be had there, even if only two of them are hers. Waitaminute. Why's she smirking at me like tha...oh.

Suppose that about wraps it up, then.

Even jinchuuriki aren't immortal; I know I'll die someday, eventually. Then that burden will pass onto them and those who come after. Either age or battle will get me one of these days. Docs say I'll be lucky to make it to sixty with my body as is. I've beaten those odds before. Maybe I'll beat these. Who knows? They'll mourn me, but death comes for us all, sooner or later. There's nothing I can do about it in this incarnation. But you see, I'm...alright with that. I'm happy. Content. I lived my life the way I wanted to. I'll go down in history as the man who married a monster...and many thereafter. A fighter who tried to save everyone within reach...and succeeded. So let them look. Let them stare. I don't care.

I saved everyone I ever met.

I'll still save all I can.

Because...I can.

It is who I am.

Who we are.

(...0o0o0...)

This...was not the Servant she'd sought to summon.

Kiara knew it the moment she laid eyes on them.

Not one, but two, lingering the smoke.

Oh dear, this boded poorly.

Very poorly indeed.

Her temporary quarters were almost spartan, a faded mess of blue and white now verging on black. Black, because the thick smoke roiling through her room threatened to choke the life from her lungs. Even then she still saw two shapes stirring in the arcane haze, one larger than the other. Deep, resonant laughter flooded her ears, forcing a flinch from the nun. After a moment's pause, another voice rose to join the first , only confirming her own sordid suspicions.

"Well, well, well." a young woman's sensual voice filled the air. "Isn't this ironic? I don't remember dying."

"Unlucky, more like." a man yawned. "I was enjoying my nap. We were alive last I remember."

The small figure rounded on the larger in the smoke.

"Ow! Why'd ya pinch me?!"

"For being...you."

"Kura!"

As it gradually began to clear, Kiara's plans continued to go horribly awry.

Of the duo, the man was unassuming enough; tall and tan, bearing bright eyes, blond hair, and whiskered cheeks. His body stood clad in some strange blue-green attire with a green flak-jacket wrapped around his upper torso and a strange headband of dark cloth and silver bound to his forehead. He would've been downright menacing...if he weren't rubbing his face. In that moment he looked almost boyish and Kiara felt something lurch in her heart. There was something...good about him. Something pure. It made her rant to break him.

His companion was another matter.

Though she was at least a head shorter than her companion, the woman's presence dominated the room. Filled it. Clad in a flowing crimson kimono that was entirely -or perhaps deliberately?- faaaaar too low cut for decency's sake, she willfully left her shoulders and most of her back bare. How bold. Kiara almost smiled at the sight of such confidence. Then she saw the slitted eyes and her red hair-rather, the kitsune ears jutting through said hair, and her heart skipped a beat. Nine crimson tails swayed in ruby red relief behind the woman's back, two of which idly curled around her companion. Gods above. What had she summoned?!

"I...you...that shouldn't...it can't be...

Her jaw worked wordlessly as the smoke continued to clear.

"Oh, dear." the woman known as Kura hummed. "I believe we broke her, Naruto."

At the merest mention of his name, the blond stopped rubbing his cheek and rounded on her.

"Hey, there." his voice hummed through her veins like liquid fire. "You were the one to summon us, weren't you? Are you...alright, Master?"

The redhead spun and swatted him on the nose. "What did I tell you about that underestimating people?" she admonished him curtly. "She's clearly not right in the head."

A rueful smile bloomed, not cowed in the least.

...whatever you say, dear."

Naruto's hand descended ruthlessly, teasing his partner's lower back. The woman purred. Actually purred. Once, the sight would've brought Kiara no end of pleasure. Now? She felt her mind beginning to unravel. They had asked her if she was alright.

No.

She wasn't.

Not in the least.

Kiara wanted to weep. She wanted to stamp her feet. She wanted to tear her habit off and rip at her dark hair. This...whatever this Servant was, it was dangerously close to a divine spirit. They would see through her lies if she tried to weave them. Her ruse. Her facade. They would see, and they would know. She couldn't have that. But she couldn't dismiss them, either. Failure in this war meant death. Annihilation. What to do, what to do? Even with her Command Spells, she could at least expend two. If she wasted the third, no matter the reason, she. Would. Die. The Moon Cell was ruthless in that regard.

She had to plan. Had to think. There was a way out of this. There must be.

She knew how she must look to them; a humble nun in seemingly simple garb, but her eyes-and the thigh-high slit in her skirt-likely gave her away. No. She was better than this. A spiriton hacker had to be. For the sake of her goal, for the sake of her dream, she'd gladly play this part. In the Moon Cell, a routine summoning wasn't restricted in the traditional sense; one needn't blood themselves or acquire a catalyst, though one could use them all the same to find a desired Servant. For the most part S.E.R.A.P.H. conducted the initial ritual. Perhaps it had been different once upon a time. Who knew?

But she did know that something had gone wrong.

Perhaps it was the Automaton that interfered, deliberately forcing her to receive a Servant she didn't want. One who could match her. One who could throw her plans askew, send everything awry. As she was now, she was still very much human, and though she had plans to become...more than that, said plans hinged on cooperation with her Servant. Convincing them that she was harmless; or barring that, persuade them that hers was a plan to be followed. Unlikely, given the free spirits looming before her. Ah, but they were looking at her and she had a part to play.

She was not prepared for what came next; her guard was wholly down.

She didn't stand a chance.

"Hey, Master. What's your name?"

The nun blinked. "I...Kiara. Whyever do you ask?" she stammered out. "What class are you?"

His kitsune partner chortled softly, but it was her most unlikely partner who answered this innocent inquiry.

"Saver."

Kiara froze.

Naruto smiled at her, then.

HejJust...smiled. Nothing more, nothing less, as he declared his class. He did not denounce her, he did not strike her, and he certainly didn't profess his love for her as countless followers in the past. Her charm struck him and washed right off like water off a duck's back. And in turn, Kiara found herself...no, not stricken, but alarmed. Alerted. Saver. Oho. Ohoho. Ohohoho! It made almost bitter sense. This was a a trap. A trick. The Moon Cell was actively interfering with her plans. His was a look of such utter resolution-such hope!-that something ugly in her recoiled from it. Yet she almost found herself reaching out for it. Towards it. That golden glimmer of light. In the end, she found herself dragged to it.

Rough hands closed around her own and the nun jumped despite her best efforts to compose herself.

"I've decided." the blond beamed happily. "Kiara, you said? I'm going to save you."

"Save me?" she laughed, incredulous. "How can you possibly...?"

Quick as a flash, his partner was there, pressing close.

Kura hummed. "Oh, I can think of a way or two."

She pressed closer still, smirking. Teasing.

Kiara couldn't help but lick her lips.

"My, goodness...

A/N: 0_0

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it. I do hope you like it. TT_TT

Has anybody picked up the hint on the fact that Ruler!Naruto, Alter Ego!Naruto, and Saver!Naruto have kids?

Remember that.

We're not done with them yet.

Aaaaaand there. Kiara has, and always will be, Kiara.

Felt good to write this, a different, AU take on the Narutoverse as a whole.

I do hope you like these three, because A Most Unlikely Rider didn't get a lot of reviews, consider the chapters I put out. A lot of stories in Fate Extra don't get reviewed all that well. But. But! Nearly everyone knows Fate Extella and Fate Extella Link! Somebody wanna explain that?!

A point of contention I'd offer is this; you can LITERALLY buy Fate Extra-the game-on Amazon. Hell, there's even an anime version in which everything went wrong called Fate Extra: Last Encore! Its all over the place!

Nearly there now! Moon Cancer!Naruto and-possibly!-A Master!Naruto on the Moon. AND THEN COME THE UPDATES.

Someone also suggested alternate works such as:

A Most Unlikely Duo: A Naruto who followed Orochimaru and went his own way. Mostly a draft.

A Most Unlikely Idiot: Shenanigans. Plain and simple. Lots of time travel and Servant shenanigans. Involves NGH Naruto.

A Most Unlikely Soul: A Naruto that simply reincarnates throughout worlds and has since gone more than a little loopy as a result.

A Most Unlikely Life: Which would consist solely of Naruto and Servant shenanigans around Chaldea and the like-causing having and enjoy slice of life stuff.

A Most Unlikely Death: A Naruto who has a similar backstory to Jack expect he absorbed all the souls the children that died that night and wants to give all of them bodies.

A Most Unlikely Grail: An exasperated Naruto finds himself as a classless Servant LITERALLY carrying out the instructions of a pure grail and traveling through several Wars to maintain order. Strongest of the bunch.

A Most Unlikely Alliance: In which the worlds drift yet closer and each iteration of Naruto-alongside their Masters!-finally begin to meet one another. Chaos and hilarity ensue in the maddest of ways. For example, Saber mysteriously wakes up to find himself in the world of Alter Ego. Thar be a surprise.

A Most Unlikely Hero: A Naruto who is hero but wears a mask, Tobi's Mask, thats goes around the Elemental Nation saving people because when Pain destroyed the village, he destroyed everything and his wish is for a history where he makes it in time. And finally:

A Most Unlikely War: Think of this as the Infinity War/Endgame of the Unlikely Series. I ain't starting this bad boy until some of the other Naruto's finish their journeys and have met one another.

See. I'm holding back on NINE of these, several of which are near and ready to finish. Want to finish other stuff first.

I blame Phantom of Fate for this. *laughs* Blasted plot bunnies! Must...restrain...self!

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

(Previews)

"Nononono! There's only room for one fox in this war! There cannot be three!"

Naruto planted a palm over his mouth as Caster continued to rage.

"Umu~! As expected of my opponent!"

His arm shuddered horribly against the sword, but it still held.

...if its any consolation?" he hissed. "That hurt like hell."

Suzuka Gozen swore softly aloud. "Um...mercy?"

"That depends. Do you surrender?"

"Alright, stop, STOP! I give!"

Kura sighed. "Oh, honey. Let me help you."

BB stuck out her tongue.

"Never!"

"Duck!"

Saver smiled.

"Sorry. I will not be giving in tonight."

Kiara pouted. "Pity. Though the chase does make me excited...

R&R~!