Chapter 9: Restoring the old bond
Slowly she opened her eyes, a bright light shone towards her, everything felt so dizzy. From one moment to the next, she had come here from the village and Godzilla, and it felt so similar again when she met Serizawa.
Carefully she sat up, this time she wore the same clothes as she had in Boston, her leather jacket, jeans and the Boston Red Socks shirt, even the same shoes as back then. The floor beneath her was just flat, hard and cold, different from the last time. She looked around, nothing but a white void, no sounds, no objects, no other people. Not even wind was here it was an absolutely nothing.
"Am I dead?" Madison began to seriously ask herself that question. Was this the Afterlife?
Maybe she had succumbed to her injuries and that is why she passed out. Then she remembered the amulet that lkimi had given her, it turned off that light when she held it against Godzilla.
She quickly turned around, maybe when she found it, it gave her answers. She briefly searched the ground next to her for the amulet, but quickly noticed a small weight being put on her neck. She looked down at her chest, where the amulet was hanging on the chain around her neck. She took it back in her hand and looked at the pattern carefully, she did not recognize what the symbol meant, it was a cross with a circle on the inside, from which small lines emanated, similar to sunrays. When Madison turned it around, she saw a moth that she thought was Mothra, at least it had to be her, it was a weird feeling.
For a while she just examined it, maybe there was an answer to everything that had happened.
And indeed, she would get it, but not from the amulet, but from someone she knew very well.
"It looks very nice, doesn't it?"
For a moment, Madison's breath faltered, she ran down cold over her back, she flinched and froze where she was. She thought it wasn't possible, it must have been her thoughts playing tricks on her again.
If it was another nightmare in which she had fallen, she had to see visions again, the memories she wanted to forget. Carefully she turned slowly around and saw a person, a woman with a white lab cape, blue eyes and dark blonde hair.
"M-Mom?" Madison said, it felt very insecure, even a little scared.
"Yes, Madison, it's me."
Emma said, she smiled to make her daughter feel safe and reassured. Madison stood up slowly and carefully, her eyes always on Emma. She remembered a similar nightmare she'd had before, the thought of it gave her goose bumps.
Emma took a step toward her, but Madison immediately stood back and took a more aggressive stance. She was confused, scared, didn't know where she was or what to do, relying only on her instincts and what she had learned, and that told her to defend herself.
"You don't have to be scared, Maddie, trust me."
"That's what I did last time, and what happened?"
Emma sighed. "I'm sorry, I want to make it up to you, I want to help you."
Madison looked down at the floor, a slight shadow fell over her face. Emma saw tears running down her daughter's face, hitting the white floor of the void and disappearing in an instant.
"Do you have any idea what I've been through?"
Madison asked. Emma remained silent, unable to answer the question. She looked away from her daughter.
"The guilt I felt, I believed it would kill me, humans, Titan and the planet, all hurt and killed, because I was too stupid and naive to believe this stupid plan of yours! The nightmares I have every night, every night Ghidorah is chasing me again and again, every night I wake up and cry and I'm scared and there's nobody there. Every day I think of the people who died when Jonah killed them because I couldn't convince you not to work with him, the people who died because of Rodan, because I couldn't stop you. Mothra died because we woke up Ghidorah, for you she was just a test object for that stupid ORCA! You didn't care about the lives of Titans or men, No, you didn't care about me!"
Madison got down on her knees and cried, she collapsed, overwhelmed by the feelings inside her, she was angry at hers, despite seeing her again and she was sad, again plagued by the guilt inside her. It brought her to the edge of her strength what happened to her, she wanted to get rid of all the suffering, not live through these things again.
Emma walked up to her, reached down her hand to her daughter.
"And I want to prove to you that I care about you, despite my death, I still cared about you, and I want to help you through this."
It took Madison a moment to calm down, to get her emotions back in order, to get her sadness and anger under control. Madison looked up at her, Emma tried to make a familiar and friendly impression, but still Maddie didn't trust her one bit. She stood up herself, ignoring her mother's reaching hand.
She took a deep breath, tried to concentrate. She felt sick from the feelings bubbling inside her. This was not a normal dream where she was, it was like her meeting at Serizawa, everything was too real and didn't have that surreal feeling of a dream.
"If I am to trust you, then tell me where we are." Madison demanded; Emma nodded her head in agreement.
"Unfortunately, I am not sure how, what, or where we are here myself. Anyway, I just call it The Void, we can still communicate here despite the death."
"Wait, does that mean I am?!"
Madison became a little panicky at the thought of her dying, especially how it happened, had she bled out to death from her injuries or had Godzilla done something to her?
"No you're not dead, your body's in a dream state, you're healthy. All this is in your mind, a kind of dream, so to speak."
Madison breathed a sigh of relief, at least that she was still alive. It was strange to describe it, thinking that she was dead.
"Looks very…. very empty."
"Yes, it's just as I thought, I've been in a similar environment for the past few months, I thought it might be more comfortable for us both to talk in a simpler setting."
Madison didn't quite like this place, she didn't know which way was up or down, and even the floor was weird, it felt like trippy didn't really have a direction for her.
"And why am I here?"
Asked Madison. Emma smiled.
"Few people have access to it, and only specially selected people get this ability."
"And why are you here?" She asked her Mother.
"Like I said, I'm here to help you explain this journey. I was chosen because I'm your mother, a familiar face, so to speak."
Madison nodded, at least it helped her speak more openly. "And was that with Serizawa-" "Yes, his soul was real too, he shared his thoughts and memories with you. We were both chosen, but he decided it would be better if I explained things to you. He wanted to say goodbye one last time with a better memory.
"Who actually chose you?"
Emma smiled and looked up at the sky, and suddenly there was a loud but much softer and brighter roar. Madison recognized the sound immediately, and it made her feel safe.
"She did it."
Said Emma, pointing behind Madison. She turned around and a bright and colorful light illuminated the area. out of the fog of nothing, a giant, beautiful butterfly flew, Mothra.
Mothra landed in front of the two of them with a huge gust of wind, Madison almost fell to the ground. It shook briefly as she landed, but nothing compared to the other Titans Madison had encountered so far. Mothra was much smaller and more graceful than most other Titans, but also much more agile and powerful than the outer appearance would suggest.
Slowly she took a lower stance, her wings were widespread, almost 100 meters in length, leaned down to the two of them, she looked directly at Madison. Her head and body were much smaller and shorter, just about 20 meters. Her eyes were light blue like diamonds, she made a soft cooing sound.
Madison walked forward carefully, with his hand stretched out in front. She touched Mothras face, something told her to do it, maybe Mothra herself. It felt so soft and fluffy when she stroked it, her face was full of that strange fur. Madison embraced Mothra and felt so comfortable and safe, she hadn't felt such security for a long time, not even in the presence of Emma, her own mother.
After some time, she finally let go of the beautiful Titan and took a few steps back. Mothra made another gentle sound before she spread her wings again and rose into the air with a tremendous flap of her wings, disappearing into the mist of the white void.
"Where did she go?" Madison asked.
"Continued. But she hasn't left us, she still has a watching eye over you."
"It's funny, it all felt so-" "real." "Yeah."
Emma turned with a smile on her face, pointing toward the void.
"I'll explain everything to you calmly, come, we must walk a little."
For quite a while they walked the white plane without end, time felt like vanished, non-existent practical. Emma walked calmly with her hands buried in her coat, she seemed to know exactly where to go. Quietly, she hummed something of herself, probably to create a slightly brighter mood. But Madison didn't even notice, she just walked next to her mother, who was supposed to be dead, or is, and tried to think about things that have happened or might happen.
Some questions had occurred to her that came up again and again after Emma's death, but she hadn't been able to ask anyone until now.
"Why did you listen to Jonah and not me?"
"What do you mean, why didn't you listen to me?" Emma looked over at Madison.
"When we- you woke Rodan up, I begged you not to. Mark was right that this wasn't the right way, and despite both of us, you did it anyway."
"Jonah would have killed you if I hadn't done what he wanted, especially after you intervened." That was one thing Madison had always known that Jonah would probably get rid of her, for fun or because she was standing away from him. The two never got along, and Madison hated his guts.
"But if you had refused as well, everything would have been different. Without you, he could have done nothing. There's more to it than that, isn't there?"
Emma sighed; she couldn't just lie to her daughter after all of this.
"Yes. When Andrew died, I was, how shall I put it, out of my mind. I got absorbed in the work, but working at Monarch is different, it put more pressure on me, then our family split up and everywhere I went I saw the problems in the world underneath which people I became very depressed, insane at the end."
That scared Madison a little, the thought of her own mother going crazy. Not like a psychopath, at least enough to put people in danger.
"Jonah had taken advantage of that. The things he told me sounded good and were in line with what I believed in. Plus, he pretended to be the only one who talked to me openly, or so I thought. He manipulated me and took advantage of that, persuaded me to join him. He seemed to know that I had no one to talk to."
"But I was there, you could have talked to me?"
"No, I didn't want to get you involved, especially after Andrew died."
Madison raised her eyebrow in confusion, the story seemed different to her.
"But you did drag me into it?"
"At first I didn't want to, I knew you were too young to be exposed, but the deeper I got into Jonah and his plan, I only had two options: Either I send you to Mark and leave you with him, not knowing for sure if everything's okay. Or I can prepare you and explain what's going to happen."
"And to make me think of you as the good guy."
"No, that's not what I had in mind."
Emma lowered her head, slightly sad, but Madison knew better by now.
"That's what you wanted, to save the world and make this world well again. Only you knew that this method was not really the right one, but you couldn't be honest enough with your own daughter to say that you had made a mistake, for you I always had to think of you as the heroine of the story."
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Madison knew she was right. She had learned that Emma had hidden the truth from her all too often.
Emma sighed, aware of her own guilt.
"Yes. I never wanted you to see me as anything else. From back in 2014 when I built the first ORCA, I was known as a hero. It had not helped me make the right choices. I didn't want to hurt you and destroy your image of me, but I should have realized that I only did it more after I kept the truth from you about my own naiveté."
"I have one more question." Said Madison. "What is it about Maddie?"
Emma kept walking as she talked, never even looked directly at Madison.
"What's it like, really. I mean, what's it like to die? I never really believed in ghosts, heaven and hell, but now?"
Madison folded her arms and looked at her mother, who nodded her back in agreement.
"I am also convinced that something like heaven and hell does not really exist. Despite the many months I've been there, I've learned very little about this world."
Madison wasn't sure if Emma was lying, but she didn't really expect to get an answer to that question. It's a mystery as long as live has existed.
"We don't really know what the soul is like, or how we have consciousness. There is energy in us, which in turn could be called the soul. This energy does not just go away when we die, it is an unsolved mystery what happens to it. And probably Mothra can control this energy because her Species has a kind of memory that is transmitted from generation to generation, so that all memories are passed on to the successors. A reincarnation so to speak. I suspect she can keep the soul of the person she chooses conscious in a dream-like state. You are not asleep, but you are not awake either."
"Why would she do such a thing?" Emma lowered her head a little, and a slight shadow much over her face. "Perhaps to reward some and punish someone before the soul is fully rested."
For about a minute or two, they were both completely still and just kept going straight. It was unpleasant to talk about such things, even in this situation. Then Madison stopped, Emma looked over at her. She paused, sort of trying to explain the whole thing to herself.
"So Mothra, she chose us. Serizawa, you and me. But for what purpose? I don't understand why this is happening to me, why I was taken by Godzilla on Skull Island, what's so special about me?" The frustration that was inside her was getting to Madison. She always planned to have an answer for everything, always know what to do. But in the last few days her worldview was shattered, in pieces, beyond repair. It made her afraid, afraid that like her mother, she would fall into madness and make wrong decisions that could have a negative effect on everyone.
"You were always special from birth, I didn't know it yet, but you were going to grow into something big."
The words of hers caught her attention, Emma needed to know more about her than she was admitting. Eagerly, she looked up to her, and would finally get an answer to the chaos she was in.
"I have always looked after you and trained, because I always wanted you to stay strong and to be able to take care of yourself once I shouldn't be there anymore. But I never really wanted you to come in contact with the Titans, but I should have known that you have always been connected with them. You've been fascinated by them since the day you first saw him."
"What are you trying to tell me?" Madison grabbed her mother by the arms, tried to pressure her, she was this close to finding out what was behind all this. Emma smiled and patted Madison on the head.
"Many, thousands of years ago, humans and Titans lived in symbiosis. They managed to communicate with them, to help each other. And some of them were special, they had special abilities that they used in harmony with the Titans. But after they went to sleep, these humans slowly disappeared and for generations these abilities would be lost. But you were born differently, you were born into a world where we found the Titans again. A genetic mistake, so to speak, makes you a direct heir to the ancient human race."
Madison let go of Emma. It would make sense, after all, all these people are probably descended from her, but she was even more like them, not on the outside, but on the inside. Emma put her hands on Madison's shoulder, her daughter's heart pounded hard.
"You are Mothras successor, you must help the humans and Titans survive together. It won't be easy, but I'm sure you'll do it."
Madison became dizzy at the thought of what this meant. She was only 14, and already more pressure and weight had been put on her shoulders than any other person Almost knocked her down, but Emma caught her daughter and helped her stand up again.
"M-Mom... I'm just a... human being... Madison began to tremble all her fears about being responsible for these things came out. Desperately hoping that it was only a dream, a delusion, but inside she knew it was all real. Her mother hugged her, stroked Maddie gently over the head and tried to calm her down.
"You will become much stronger, I have helped you, but now you must grow yourself and try to do the best with your strength. Don't be like me, you have potential to do a lot of good. I am proud of you and what you have become, but now I will see nothing more of it in the future."
Madison had calmed down and slowly let go of her mother. She felt overwhelmed by the what this would mean for her, for what was to come in the future.
"I'm scared, Mom."
"What's Maddie afraid of?" Madison's eyes started watering again. The Emotions were running high in her, she felt torn apart and slain by all that was coming.
"I'm afraid of ending up like you, of falling into madness. I cannot do it alone."
"Don't worry, you won't be alone, he'll save you from it."
"He?"
Suddenly she felt the ground vibrate, she heard that sound again, that, humming. Something big and heavy was coming towards her. Emma smiled as she looked behind her daughter. Madison turned slowly; she knew who it was.
In front of her, Godzilla. But not as tall as he usually was, about six feet tall, about the height of a human being. He looked at Madison and Emma, but his eyes were inspecting the environment they were in, visibly he seemed to be as surprised as Madison. For him, it either had to be even more confusing. But Maddie realized that he seemed to know what was going on, and right now he had only one interest.
"Together, you will make it. Human and Godzilla had been in this relationship long before that, I also found when I was working on the ORCA signal to awaken the Titans. It was your voice that I used. Everyone reacted differently, but all were aware that this was a new Alpha."
Madison looked at Godzilla the whole time Emma was talking, she couldn't take her eyes off him. They were about 20 feet apart, and yet she felt even closer to him than before.
"You and Serizawa helped defeat Ghidorah, it wouldn't have worked without you. Since then he had noticed you, watched you, but he needed time to heal and grow, just like you. He likes you, and I believe you feel the same about him."
Emma was right about what she said, and Maddie felt even more she wanted to be with him. Her two eyes crossed again. Madison slowly started to walk towards him, each step making her heartbeat faster, everything felt so warm, she was reddening.
Emma smiled and turned around, ready to go. But Madison noticed that someone was slowly leaving her, and she didn't want that. He looked over her shoulder to the side, just as Emma was about to disappear. Godzilla turned his head to the side, confused about what she was doing, also unsure what to do. About two meters separated the two of them.
"Wait here." Madison whispered she was leaving Godzilla, she couldn't just let her mother go.
"Mom wait!" She ran to her mother. "Maddie?" Emma was almost gone into the void, almost like a memory. Madison rushed up to Emma and hugged her, squeezing her so tight she almost choked out her mother's breath.
"Mom..." "What is it Maddie... we don't have long." Once again, Emma took her daughter in her arms and stroked her head to soothe her, she cried and shook.
"I know you've done a lot of bad things; I hate you for them, I probably can never really forgive you for them, but I miss you too at the same time. You are my mother, I love you for that, I want us to be a family again."
Emma stroked Madison over the head and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
They both knew it wouldn't go on.
"Madison, I also love you as my daughter, but the reason I sacrificed myself then was because I knew that you and Mark would not be safe as long as I was alive and could cause harm. Deciding to die was the justice for me after all I've done. And the months in that void helped me think about the things I'd done. But my task now to help you is over, my soul can finally go out forever, all I can leave you with are memories."
"Mom, I can't do this." She cried in her mom's jacket and held on as tight as she could.
Godzilla felt Maddie was sad, so he watched them have their conversation. Very carefully he approached them slowly, interested in what was going on, his tail was erect and swinging from side to side, he let out a soft rumble and sniffed around, there was a strange feeling in the air.
"Maddie, look at me." Emma said. Her daughter looked up at her again with tears in her eyes.
"You got to let go. Maddie, I've brought you more pain and suffering than anyone before, I don't want you to cling to your past like I did and make bad choices. I have tried to help you as much as I can now, but you must go down this road yourself. I am the past, I am dead, but you and Godzilla still have a great future ahead of you, do not let anyone stand in your way."
Emma squeezed her daughter again to comfort her, and she felt a little better.
"I love you, Madison."
"I love you, too, Mom."
Madison squeezed her mother tight to feel her one last time. However, she soon realized how the contact to her mother was diminishing and soon she felt nothing, and her mother disappeared, it felt like she slowly but surely turned to dust.
The past and the life she had then, that was gone now, in the end only memories. In front of her, or rather behind her stand, lay an uncertain, strange and eerie future, without knowing what it might bring.
She turned around and felt it slowly getting colder around her, but there was a kind of warmth coming from him that attracted her. Godzilla had been watching her the whole time, obviously as confused and lost as Madison was in this situation. Maddie didn't really know how to deal with it, how to move on.
Godzilla had taken up a much lower, almost vertical position like a dinosaur, and pushed his head under Madison's arm and snuggled up lightly to calm her down, much like a dog or cat, although Godzilla was much smarter than them.
In fact, he managed to release her from her fears and forget her for once. When his head was under her arm, she looked down at him and stroked his neck until the sharp plates on his back started. "Thanks for coming." Whisper it softly.
Godzilla had never approached a human in this way before, the first time he had ever directly cared for someone
Godzilla slowly left her and straightened up again, he seemed to have heard it. He was much taller than her, despite his "shrinking" in this room, but by no means did he feel threatened in any way when she looked up at him, quite the contrary, she felt much safer. They both looked into each other's eyes and it was as if they were just sharing all their memories of what happened in their lives, and above all, understanding.
Godzilla gave her that very worried look again, obviously after seeing all her pain and suffering. Madison wasn't sure what she saw, there were so many memories of so long times that no one had ever seen, more or less astonished, she was the only one who had a clear view of his past. And what she recognized clearly, despite all her differences and the amount of memories, was that he too was already in pain and suffering as she had experienced. Thrown into this position of a king, when he realized that there seemed to be no one else but him, and actually wanted to be left alone. Like Madison, he had to make hard decisions and carry a burden, a reason why he didn't really want to have anything to do with people's problems.
But he had noticed who Madison was, she had helped him, because despite her trust in him she was aware that something had to be done. Only she had the courage to go her own way against her own mother and do something against Ghidorah, no matter what it took.
Madison walked closer to him, slowly touching his arm, he flinched back briefly, slowly stroking her hands over her shoulder and grabbing his head on both cheeks. She felt a slight twitch as she did so, he wasn't used to this kind of approach and affection. Still Madison wouldn't let go of him and pulled his head down to her directly, they were very close together like no one had ever been before. She felt the very gentle rumble and the vibration in his body her fingers, it gave her a reassuring and safe feeling, very safe even. Slowly they pressed her forehead against his, looking him straight in the eyes, her eyes were fixed. She could feel his heartbeat, it seemed to be faster, similar to hers, almost synchronous.
Even if she didn't see it, her face was red, Maddie felt so warm, she was sweating from her nervousness of being so close to him, uncertain about her feelings and her future.
Godzilla noticed this, he noticed her fears and anxiety that still prevailed, and he knew this feeling just as well.
Making difficult decisions that affect everyone's life is not an easy thing, it puts a lot of pressure on someone because you want to do what you think is right. If you are alone in these decisions, you can break under it, and eventually do something that hurts you even more.
He let go of her, straightened up again and gave off a gentle rumble. His back and began to glow again in a white blue light, the space around her took on a bluish tone. Godzilla approached Madison and gently and gently embraced her. Gently he put his heavy arms around her, put his snout on her head, and blew a hot air through her hair. He tried to imitate what he had done on the beach to keep her with him, never had he really hugged another one without it being a bloody fight.
But Maddie had given him emotional closeness, something he had never really felt before. He used to want to live a secluded life in his cave, to be the last of his kind, to spend his life in peace. But then she came along and helped him shed his hard shell and let his feelings out.
She snuggled up to him, had her head against his chest, it felt rough, but not unpleasant for her. It rose and fell as he breathed in and out deeply, she felt his snout rubbing tenderly against hers, the hot air from his nose came out and wiped through Madison's hair again, it made her tired, she wanted to go back to sleep.
She was happy that there would be someone for her. She was no longer alone.
The world around her was wrapped in a deep blue and slowly they left this place, but it would not be the last time they met here.
And when she fell asleep again, she felt something, as if someone was speaking to her.
"Good night, Madison."