It's that time again! A new Red John!Patrick x Kimball story is being posted! We got some angst, we go some hurt/comfort, we got some love, and, of course, we got so sex. This is chapter one of two and I hope you all enjoy it!

TUMBLR INFO: I've had to change my Tumblr account because I got muted. I'm not all that surprised to be fair. Anyway, the name is now SILVERMIDNIGHTWRITE.

If you want to be kept up to date with any upcoming stories or want to ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook 'SilverMidnight52' or on Tumblr under SilverMidnightWrite! I own nothing.

Slamming his back against he wall Kimball covered his mouth with his hand hoping to stop any and all noise that came from him. If he thought he had to be quiet while he was following his lover than he had to be almost ghostlike now.

The only problem with that was the fact that he couldn't tell if he was being loud anymore. Was his heart truly beating so loudly that it could pound out of his chest? Was his breaths truly coming out in pants loud enough to wake the dead?

For the first time in his life he felt as if he was truly terrified of something. That had never happened to him before. From when he was in a gang to when he was on the battlefield in the middle of an actual war; he was never so scared he didn't know what to do.

All of that had changed because of something that he had seen before!

Well, sort of. The act was something that he had seen before and, though he hated to admit it, it was something he had even done before. He had no delusions that he was a 'good' person that could judge other people for their sins.

No, the act didn't get to him itself. What did was the person that was doing it. When he had left the house to follow his lover he hadn't known what to expect; he didn't even know why he had felt the need to follow him.

All he knew was that there was a pulling in his heart every time he saw the older man leave their home. Given the fact that he had just moved in with the man and his daughter it shouldn't have been that big of a deal.

He had work to do and so did Kimball. Leaving the house was something that all of them did. Sometimes it was different; off. He couldn't really explain it to himself, but he also knew that he couldn't just ignore it either.

At the beginning it felt wrong to even think of following the other man around. Kimball knew all too well what it was like to have people assume that you did something wrong and just lay-in-waiting for you to mess up.

That was the last thing that he ever wanted to make someone feel. At the same time though he couldn't let himself sit back and get hurt because he was afraid to do something. That wasn't who he was at all.

Now he wished he had. Normally the idea of being willfully ignorant of anything drove him to act out. It was different this time though. If he had than he wouldn't feel as if his heart was shattering. How could he have been so damn blind to it all?

A pain filled screamed echoed from inside the building followed closely by low, dark laughter. It was a twisted sound so very different than what he had fallen in love with months ago. All Kimball wanted to do was throw up at the very thought of the feelings he had for the other man.

No, that wasn't right. While he had to admit that he was scared of the man in the house he wasn't scared of what he felt for him. He had come to far in learning who he was to ever be afraid of what he felt.

What truly scared him was how he hadn't seen it. He had worked his ass off to make sure that no one was able to convince him they were something they weren't. It didn't lead to a lot of friends, but he knew where he stood.

That was something that was important to him. In his mind the man was one of the kindest, most intelligent people he had ever met. His heart was always in the right place and he truly seemed to have a love of life.

Of course, that was dampened by everything that had happened in his past, but he never let it stop him from being the best person that he could be for his daughter. Kimball had always admired that in other people.

It was odd for him, but as soon as the blue eyes had locked with his he had felt a pull unlike anything he had felt before. He didn't believe in 'love at first sight'. In that moment though he knew that having the other in his life would only make it better.

At least he had thought that. Now he wasn't sure. He had truly thought that the man had been everything that he had never known he needed in his life. Falling in love with him had been so seamless it was shocking.

Now he wasn't completely sure if that had been part of some plan or if it was real. The whole thing gave him a headache and he wasn't digging very deep in it. He knew that there was a lot of things that he wasn't thinking about. Things that could somehow make all of it worse.

Shaking his head quickly Kimball made his way from the building needing to get away from what he had seen. The images of the man he loved covered in blood looking completely at ease would never leave him.

That was the worst part of it all. There was no chance that it was even close the first time that he had been in that position. No, he moved with such perfect lethality that he had to have been practiced at it.

How many people had the man killed before this? How many times had he gotten away with it? How long would it be before he did something stupid that got him caught and locked away without a look back?

As he slowly walked to the house he was sharing with his lover Kimball found himself thinking about everything that he had seen. That was the type of scene that he had only ever seen in crime shows before.

Okay, so he had made a few of those scenes himself when he was younger, but nothing to that degree. He put a bullet in someone and left before anyone was the wiser. There was no finesse in what he used to do.

What he had seen was calculated to the point that he had to have been thinking about it for weeks. That could easily mean that all the times the blond was quiet and Kimball asked him what he was thinking that his mind was on killing someone.

God how he always wanted to know what was going on in that mans mind. He was always thinking about something or another and there was no doubt that he was intelligent. He had just wanted to peek behind the curtain.

Now that he had seen behind the wall that the other man kept around himself… He had just thought that he was holding back because of what happened with his wife and Red John. He never would have been able to guess that he was...

Hearing the man he loved say that he was Red John was like being sucker punched in the gut. Mostly because it meant one of two things. Either Patrick had gone completely insane after his wife's murder or he really was Red John and he had been the one to kill not just his wife but so many others. Kimball wasn't actually sure which was worse.

His mind was moving in so many different directions that he forgot to be quiet when he got back to the house. Almost slamming the door shut behind him he fell onto the couch and stared unblinkingly at the wall in front of him.

"Kimball?" a soft, tired voice questioned from the hallway.

Turning his head around he found himself staring at Charlotte. She looked so lost and sleepy that he couldn't help but fell his heart breaking. He loved the little girl with all of his heart. Having her in his life was one of the things that he adored. She was a light that he hadn't even realized he was missing.

"Kimball?" Charlotte tried again an air of fear filling her voice, "Are you okay? Is Daddy okay?"

"I..." he tried his voice breaking painfully.

Before he could say anything else a pair of small arms wrapped around him so tightly it actually hurt but he couldn't bring himself to pull away. Instead he rested his head on top of the girls taking a deep breath to try to get a hold of himself. He was supposed to be the adult she shouldn't be trying to comfort him.

"Don't worry, Kimball," Charlotte attempted to soothe, "Daddy will be home soon. He'll make you feel better."

Hearing the girl so calmly talk about her father reminded him just how much she looked up to him. She loved him more than anything and he knew that Patrick would do anything if it meant keeping her safe and happy.

That had actually been one of the things that made it so easy to fall in love with Patrick when they got together in the first place. Seeing the man dote on the girl was a sight that never failed to warm his heart.

For the first time since he had seen the other man killing someone so brutally Kimball let himself remember the man he had fallen for. Patrick was a sweet, loving father. The last thing he would have thought the man was capable of was murder. Yet he knew what he saw.

It didn't make any sense to him that the man could be both a wonderful father and a cold-blooded killer. What was worse was the fact that Kimball had no idea what he was supposed to do. It should have been easy. Patrick was a killer he had to be stopped before someone else died.

Yet with Charlotte in his arms he felt as if he couldn't do it. The idea of taking Patrick away from his daughter felt wrong. He couldn't do that to either of them. It was stupid and selfish of him, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't be the one that broke up their family.

Even as he thought that though he knew that things couldn't be the same as they were before. He knew that as soon as the other man got home he'd have to be able to face him and keep going and he wouldn't be able to.

Despite everything that he had done in the gang life and in the Army he had been taught right from wrong. He wouldn't be able to sit back and keep going as if he wasn't questioning whether or not Patrick was planning another death.

It also couldn't matter that he loved both Patrick and Charlotte with all of his heart. He had to make a choice for them all. As much as he wanted to stay with them he knew that he couldn't with the knowledge that he now had.

"You know I love you, Charlotte," Kimball offered pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you too," the little girl replied pulling back to give him a bright smile, "Do you feel better now? Did that help?"

"It always helps but I have to do something that you're not going to like."

"What?"

"I have to leave."

Charlotte's eyes went wide as tears filled them. Kimball wanted nothing more than to take back what he had said but he couldn't. As much as it hurt to say it he knew that it would be all the worse if he stayed. The last thing he could do was cause any more pain to her if he could stop it.

"What?" Charlotte questioned her voice breaking, "Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Kimball said firmly staring into her eyes, "Never think that I'm leave because of you. I love you, Charlotte. I wish I could stay, but I can't."

"Did Daddy do something wrong?"

Kimball forced himself to keep a straight face at that. Charlotte was like her father. If he let it show that he was leaving because of Patrick than she'd know. He was doing his best to make sure she never knew the truth.

"It's no ones fault," Kimball sighed shaking his head, "I know this is hard to believe, but you and your father aren't why I need to leave. I have some questions I need answered and I have to leave to find those answers. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if I stayed."

"We could help!" Charlotte exclaimed tears finally falling.

"I wish it was that simple, but I have to do this on my own."

"But… I don't want you to leave!"

"I don't want to leave either, but I have to."

"When will you come back?"

"I don't know, but never think that means that I don't love you. I will always love you, Charlotte. With all of my heart."

"I love you too, Kimball. All of my heart."