The dungeon was located three days from Axel. Luna had provided them a map to show them where to find it. Kazuma had asked her about it and about this new dungeon. Apparently, an ordinary looking man had just shown up the previous day with the news. Luna hadn't recognized him, and he hadn't been dressed like an adventurer. He'd simply shown up, given out the information, and then left.

Kazuma found all this a bit suspicious. I mean it was very possible for a random farmer or shepherd to stumble across the entrance of a new dungeon. But wouldn't the person at least make some kind of effort to claim it? At the very least wouldn't they want to tell people about discovering it? Just showing up at an adventurer's guild and then quietly leaving seemed awfully unnatural. He'd pointed this out to his party members and was promptly assured it was no big deal. Megumin was focused on getting lots of gold and xp. Darkness was imagining all the strong and terrifying monsters that were waiting for them. Despite a tone of misgivings Kazuma set out with his party.

The trip out was uneventful and downright pleasant. There were no random encounters with monsters. On both evenings Megumin blew up and empty field right after dinner. They used monster repeller to make sure they could sleep peacefully. The sun was out, and the weather was beautiful. It was actually nice to be out of Axel for awhile and to be walking with friends in the summer sunshine.

They arrived early in the afternoon of the third day. The dungeon entrance was a simple cave in the side of a small, nondescript hillside. Everything up to that point had gone about as well as could be hoped for. The problems started as soon as they entered the dungeon entrance…

"We should leave," Kazuma said.

Both Darkness and Megumin looked shocked. "Are you kidding me?" Megumin demanded. "We just got here, and you want us to turn around and go home?!"

"Yep."

"Kazuma," Darkness said sounding confused. "Why would you want to do that?"

"You need to ask?" He stared at the two of them as a vein began to throb in his forehead.

"That's right," Megumin challenged. "Why would we just turn around and go after we just got here?"

"Oh, I don't know, because of that maybe?" Kazuma pointed to the top of an archway that had been carved into the cave entrance. The word 'WELCOME' had been neatly chiseled.

The two girls looked at each other in confusion.

"I don't see the issue Kazuma," Darkness said. "Obviously, the builders of this dungeon were courteous. Why would you want to leave because of that?"

Megumin nodded vigorously. "Yeah! It's a good omen. I don't see the problem."

Kazuma slapped a hand to his face and let out a muffled scream. With the exception of Chris, common sense was obviously a rare and treasured commodity in this world.

"Who in their right mind would actually write 'welcome' at the start of a dungeon? Seriously, they might as well write, 'please come and rob this place of all my treasure.' And if that weren't enough of a red flag…"

Kazuma stared down the corridor. The floor was perfectly flat and tiled. It looked clean enough to eat off. The walls and ceiling were also straight and in perfect condition. Using Farsight he could see clearly down the corridor for about 200 yards before a juncture. There was no damage or debris, no bones or remains, and not even any dust or puddles of water. This corridor could easily pass as part of a castle or palace.

"This place looks like it was just recently constructed. That is way, way too suspicious."

"Dummy!" Megumin chided. "This is a brand-new dungeon, of course it's going to be in great condition! It would be weird if it wasn't."

Kazuma sent her a harsh glare that quieted her down and made her hide behind Darkness.

"It's only 'new' in the sense its just been discovered. But it should have been built and sealed away hundreds or even thousands of years ago. Why are there no cracks in the floor or walls? Why is there no water leaking anywhere? Why is there no dirt? No moss or bits of grass? Why are there no bones or pieces from dead monsters or animals? Why does this place look like it was just finished yesterday?"

Megumin looked confused. "I don't know, good maintenance?"

Kazuma slapped a palm to his face again.

"Kazuma," Darkness said. "Shouldn't we be glad the dungeon looks so well preserved? Doesn't that just mean all the treasures are still waiting here for us?" Her cheeks darkened and her lips twitched. "A… Along with all the te… terrifying monsters."

"That's right!" Megumin joined in. "Afterall, this is the Ultimate Treasure Dungeon! Why should it be rundown like any old regular dungeon?"

Darkness nodded.

"Why do I even bother?" he muttered.

"Come on!" Megumin pleaded. "We're here. Are we really just going to leave after walking all this way? Do you really want to go back to the guild and tell them we chickened out because the dungeon was too nice?"

While he didn't want to admit it, she did have a point. If there was one thing all adventurers admired it was courage. Failing a quest was okay, it happened sometimes. But just wimping out without even trying? That would make him a laughingstock.

"Kazuma," Darkness said. "Let's at least explore the first level. If it's too dangerous we'll leave, but as an adventuring party shouldn't we do at least that much? That way we can still give a report back to the guild and a recommendation for a rating."

Kazuma sighed. "Fine, I guess we can do that. But both of you be seriously careful, okay? And when I say we're done, we are done, got it?"

Both girls nodded enthusiastically.

"Right!"

"Understood."

"I already know I'm going to regret this," Kazuma muttered beneath his breath.

As the scout he would take the lead, followed by Darkness and with Megumin bringing up the rear. Before entering he activated his Detect Traps skill. What he saw made him grimace and do a quick count.

"Okay, there are fifteen traps between here and where the corridor ends. I can't tell what they do, but we don't want to find out. They're all on the floor, so both of you watch where I step and don't walk on any other tiles, okay?"

"Yes."

"Got it!"

Kazuma began to slowly go down the corridor, pointing out each trap as they passed it. He wasn't sensing anything from his Detect Enemy ability. Yet. He was still on edge though; this was his first time in a dungeon since that day. Despite no immediate threat he was still nervous. His hands had a slight shake to them, and his mouth was dry. He was already regretting agreeing to this. If it weren't for his-

Click.

When he heard that his head whipped around. He could see Megumin's foot pressing down on a tile that was sinking into the floor. Darkness was also staring back at her, while the idiot had a look of embarrassment on her face.

"Oops."

Kazuma opened his mouth to scream at her, but before he could the entire floor opened up and he and his party were falling.

XXX

"Uggh," Kazuma came to and rubbed the back of his head as he got to his feet. "I swear I'm going to strip that crazy loli in front of the entire guild hall."

When he looked about, he saw he was alone. He was in a large room that was about twenty feet square. Above him was the opening of a drop chute. There was a single wooden door that was shut, the room was otherwise empty.

"What a great way to start a dungeon crawl." Using Detect Traps he confirmed the room he was in was safe. It also looked like there were no hidden doors or secret passages. When he then tried Detect Enemy he drew in a sharp breath. There were six enemies within fifty yards! This was bad, he had no idea where Darkness and Megumin were and if he couldn't see the enemy directly, he couldn't use Identify to know what they were and how string. Six goblins or skeletons wouldn't be a problem. If he were facing six trolls that would be a whole different matter.

I need to relax, Kazuma thought. I'm a bad ass level forty-five Adventurer. I can totally handle this! I just need to deal with these monsters and find my friends. No problem.

The first step was getting out of the room. He went over to the door and confirmed it was locked. He also noted it was solid oak and looked suspiciously new for a lost dungeon. It wasn't a problem; he took out some of his lock picks and set to work. He was about to unlock the door when he sensed one of the enemies approaching the room.

"Figures," he muttered. "Vanish."

He disappeared from sight and took out Excalibur. He went into one of the corners of the room and waited as the enemy approached. The door opened with a bang. Into the room strode an eight-foot-tall minotaur with a double-bladed battle axe. Kazuma knew it was impossible, but it looked exactly like the one he'd run into before.

The second he laid eyes on it he felt his heart stop. He had to cover his mouth to keep from crying. All the horrible memories of that day came rushing back. He remembered with sickening detail what it was like to stand there invisible as just a few feet away a monster ripped apart the bodies of his friends and ate them. His knees nocked together, and his entire body began to tremble. Around his crotch and down the side of both legs he felt something warm and wet.

The minotaur looked about the room in confusion. Then it began to sniff the air. It took a couple steps into the room and turned in his direction.

Don't move! Don't move! Don't move! Was all he could think. He was praying to Eris that the minotaur wouldn't spot him and go away. He wanted to run as fast and as quietly as he could. If he just stayed where he was, he could get out of this.

And then he thought about Darkness and Megumin. If there were six minotaurs here what would happen to them?

Kazuma shut his eyes and gripped his sword with both hands. He whispered another prayer to Eris.

"YYAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Kazuma rushed at the monster and drove the swords into its chest with all the strength he had. It had been creeping closer to him but was still taken by surprise. Excalibur's point caught the beast right above the heart and sank in with ease. Having witnessed just how tough a minotaur's hide was Kazuma was astonished, but very pleased. He slammed his sword in so hard it tore out the back. Kazuma wrenched it out and got ready to attack again.

But to his amazement, he didn't need to. The minotaur dropped his axe and collapsed in a heap at Kazuma's feet. If that weren't enough of a surprise the minotaur's form began to shrink and twist. The horns melted away along with much of the bulk. The giant battle axe became a plain iron short sword. After a moment the dead monster no longer looked anything like a minotaur. It instead had pasty white skin and long gangly arms and legs.

Kazuma had no idea what it was. It actually took a minute for him to remember he had Identify as a skill. Using it he learned:

Race - Doppelganger (Minor Demon)

LVL – 5

HP – 47

STR – 18

CON – 11

DEX – 22

INT – 35

WIS – 14

CHM – 7

LCK – 17

EXP – 312 / 410

"What the hell?" Now that the danger was over his heart was slowing down and he stopped shaking. He'd never even heard of a doppelganger before. He supposed it was just a minor monster that existed in this dungeon. Luckily, it was pretty weak.

Standing there he suddenly heard a very faint laughter. He jumped about scanning the room, but there was no one there. The laughter faded away, but he was sure he'd heard it.

"Okay, I don't have time to freak out. I need to find those two." The other five enemies were nearby. The door to the corridor was now wide open. He recast Vanish and was about to get going when he suddenly heard a woman's voice crying out.

"No! Stop it!"

"Darkness!" He ran into the corridor determined to save her.

XXX

A pair of strong hands grabbed her by the wrists and hauled her up.

"Wha… What?" She was a bit dazed. As she came to, she saw she was in the grasp of a fearsome ogre.

"A… An o… o…. ogre?"

To her surprise she felt another pair of hands beginning to pull off her armor. She turned her head to see a second ogre!

"Y… You fiends! W… What do you intend to do t… to me? I… I am helpless and at y… your mercy!"

Neither ogre spoke as one held her wrists tight while the second stripped her of her armor and then tore off the black body suit and other clothing underneath.

Darkness made no real effort to resist.

As soon as she was completely naked, she was hauled off to a pair of iron manacles that were attached to the wall by a chain. The ogre chained her up naked. Looking over her surroundings Darkness saw he was in a large room with a single door leading out of it and a square opening in the ceiling. Thoughts of escape were not what she was focused on.

"I see! You foul creatures are going to torture me, aren't you?! You should know I am a cr… crusader! It is my duty to resist no matter how brutal you may be! D… Do your wo… worst! No matter how sa… savage and cr… cruel you are I'll endure it!"

Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she had a huge grin on her face.

The two ogres looked at each other. Then without a sound they turned and left, leaving the door to the room open.

"I see! You're going to get some t… tools to use on me, aren't you? W… What will you choose? "Nails? Hot irons? A vice? A w… w… whip? It's a whip isn't it? If you used a whip on me I would h… hate that. Es… Especially if you to… took turns!" The thought caused her to squeeze her thighs tight and let out a moan. "N… No, two ogres wh… whipping me, I… I… w… will endure it. No matter how long you keep at it! I de… definitely w… won't break!"

She soon heard footsteps approaching the door.

"W… Whatever y… you intend to do to me I will b… bear it! No… Nothing you do will break my spirit!"

As she said that her father walked in.

"Lalatina! What are you doing?!"

Darkness' eyes bulged and her jaw fell open. "Father?! No! Don't look at me!" She desperately tried to cover up, but her arms were still chained. "What are you doing here?!"

"What do you mean? This is where we're holding the family reunion! The entire Dustiness clan has gathered here!"

"What?!" Darkness had no idea what he was talking about. It made no sense! "Why would you have a family reunion in a dungeon?"

"What do you mean? It's a spacious facility that just opened. All the noble families are using it, they have a dining hall, a gymnasium, and even a hot springs. It's lovely! Didn't you get the invitation? I sent it to you just last week."

She stared at him in complete confusion.

"Uncle? Are you here? Mother is starting a game of charades." Her cousin Cassandra strolled in with fan in hand. When she spotted her cousin, she let out a laugh. "Oh! Lalatina! I guess those rumors are all true."

"Rumors?!" Darkness asked in a panic. "What rumors? And father get me free!"

Cassandra giggled and flapped her fan. "Oh Lalatina, everyone knows you're a sexual deviant. I mean not just the family but the servants the clergy even random travelers know you are a massive pervert. The only reason we bothered to pretend we didn't all know was because of uncle. But now even he has to admit to what you are."

"It's true," her father hung his head in shame. "My little girl is a freak."

"No! Father! I'm a good girl, I swear it!"

"Weren't you begging to be whipped just a little while ago?"

"…"

"Uncle, why don't we have the charades here. There is plenty of room. And afterwards we can all make fun of Lalatina and her deviant behavior."

"Why not? It's not as if there is any point in hiding the truth now."

Darkness put her head back and wailed. "No! Stop it!"

"Why?" Cassandra asked as he flapped her fan in front of her face. "Isn't it easier to just-"

Without warning her head went flying. Kazuma suddenly appeared standing behind her with a bloody sword in hand. With no hesitation he cut her father down.

"NO! FATHER!" Darkness ran to her father's side, ripping the chins clean out of the wall. "Kazuma! How could you kill my father?!"

"Relax, Darkness. Just look."

Before her eyes both her father and her cousin's bodies began to change.

"W… What?"

"They're doppelgangers. Apparently, they're monsters who can shapeshift."

"Oh, thank Eris, then my secret is still safe," Darkness let out a relieved sigh.

Kazuma meanwhile was just standing there staring at her. It took her a moment to remember she was naked. She covered up and shouted. "Kazuma!"

"What? This isn't the first time, and believe me, you've got nothing to be ashamed of."

"G… Get out and let me get dressed!"

"Fine but hurry up we still need to save Megumin."

As Darkness pushed him out the door and slammed it shut Kazuma once again heard laughter. He looked up and down the hall but saw nothing as the laughter faded away.

XXX

When Darkness came out her face was red, but she was otherwise fine. She rubbed at her nose and gawked. "Kazuma, did you urinate in your pants?"

He gave her a dangerous look. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll tell them about your mole."

"Understood!"

"Now come on, we need to find Megumin!"

While he didn't know where exactly Megumin was. Kazuma could track down the three other monsters in the area. He led Darkness to a locked door a little ways down the corridor. He motioned for her to be quiet and he got out his lock picks and soon had the door unlocked. Instead of rushing in, he pushed it open a few inches to peer inside. There were three other girls dressed similarly to Megumin, with capes and pointy hats. All of them had red eyes and one had some really great boobs.

He noticed Megumin was on the verge of tears. "That's not true, no way is that true!"

"It is true," the big boobed girl said. "Everyone in the village is using explosion, it's a mandatory course in the Red Prison now."

"And YunYun's the best at it," a different girl spoke up. "Her explosions are five times as big as yours."

"More like ten times," the third girl said.

"Explosion is so easy anyone can do it," big boobed girl said. "Yours is nothing special."

"Oh yeah?!" Megumin shouted and raised her staff. "How about I prove how amazing my explosions magic really is?"

"Sure thing, I could use a good laugh."

"Oh, hell no!" Kazuma threw the door open and rushed in with Darkness right on his heel. The three imposters were quickly dealt with and Megumin was prevented from killing them all. When all the fighting was done Kazuma once more heard laughter. He asked Darkness and Megumin if they heard it too, but they both denied it. The sound was soon gone but Megumin noticed something else.

"Did you piss your pants?" Megumin pointed at his wet trousers and was bent over laughing. "That's so sad!"

He sent her a death glare and his lips curled up. "You've got a point; I should dry them off." He held his hand out. "Steal!"

His hand glowed and he made a fist. When he opened it, he was holding a pair of black silk panties. "This should do."

"NO!" Megumin cried. "They'll be ruined forever!"

"Heh, heh, heh."

"S… So, c… cruel."

XXX

Despite not acquiring any treasure and complaints from the two girls, Kazuma had decided the dungeon crawl was over. They found the way back to the entrance and departed. As they left Kazuma heard more laughter and hurried their pace.

From out of the shadows a figure in a suit with a black and white mask twirled about joyously. "Superb! What delicious emotions! This dungeon was truly a brilliant idea! I hope to see you again Satou Kazuma! You are always welcome back!"

XXX

Three days later they were almost back to Axel. Whenever the wind blew, even if it was a light breeze, Megumin would slap both hands down on the hem of her skirt. She would also glare at Kazuma, who had no problem ignoring it.

"So just remember, when we get back to the guild we're rating it as S – 200 and telling them that we ran into minotaurs, trolls, and ogres."

Darkness did not look pleased. "Is it really all right to pass along false information to the guild?"

Kazuma grinned at her. "You want me to tell the truth about what happened? The entire truth?"

Her face reddened and she looked away. "Ah, never mind."

"That's what I thought." As he walked, he stretched his arms out and relaxed. "Man, it'll be good to be home again. I just want to relax and do nothing for a while."

That was when they heard an explosion in the distance and felt the ground shake. Somewhere over Axel smoke was rising into the air.