THE NIGHT OF THE VOLCANO

By Andamogirl

Author's note: tag to "The Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo", season 1. References to the episode.

Reference to "The Night the Dragon Screamed"

In "The Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo", the Prince's name isn't given, so I chose to call him Tanu and as the name of the country where he comes from is just referred as 'South Sea Coral Islands' I chose to locate the action in Ta'ū, one of the Samoan islands. The events described in my story are purely fictional even though certain cultural-related things are accurate.

Artie: (in South Sea garb) These things are ridiculous.

Jim: Artie, it's very colorful.

Artie: Blue, that's the color, blue! I'll die of pneumonia!

Jim: If you're going to die, blue's a lovely color.

Artie: Feathered capes. It's a wonder every bird in the world hasn't frozen to death.

Jim: Well, it could be worse. You could be moulting.

Coach Driver: This place charges $200 a day for room and board? And taking a mud bath?

Jim: Yeah, but it's very special mud. And besides, they don't allow any tipping.

Quotes from"The Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo".

(Jim and Artie are trapped in the steam pit, about to be cooked alive)

Jim: You learn something every day.

Artie: What are we learning from this?

Jim: How a lobster feels before it gets to the plate.

Jim: Artemus, if you were to pose as an illegal armament salesman...

Artemus: And walk right into the middle of all of those hatchets and poisoned darts...

Jim: Oh, if we were successful, we might discover some highly unusual information.

Artemus: Yeah, and if we weren't, we'd be pulling me out of San Francisco Bay.

Jim: What do you think Washington pays you the big money for and surrounds you in all this luxury?

Artemus: I thought it was because I had charm.

Quotes from "The Night the Dragon Screamed"

Warning: burns. Non-sexual nudity.

WWW

PART ONE

Washington DC

White House

President Grant gestured to the two chairs placed in front of his desk. "Please have a seat gentlemen," and he took his place on his own chair.

Both James West and Artemus Gordon complied.

Grant puffed on his cigar and then said, "Tui Manuʻa Mappa, the king of the Manuʻa Islands Group, in the Samoan Islands died two weeks ago. I just had the news. Prince Tanu will be the new king in three months, the time of royal mourning and burial. The future king wants you to assist in his coronation. He likes you."

Crossing his arms over his chest, a scowl on his face, Artemus replied, "I'm sorry to hear that, Sir – but I'd prefer not to go. I don't like him. He tried to kill Jim and me, among other things. If he had not been the Crown Prince of the South Sea Islands at the time, and sent by his father to sign the treaty of alliance between his people and the United States, he would be in prison right now, after what he did, and it would be well-deserved, Sir."

Upset, the President sent Artemus a disapproving look. "I didn't ask you if you liked Prince Tanu or if you wanted to go there, Artemus," he replied with a commanding tone. He added, "You and Jim will go to the ceremony, as representatives of the United States. That's an order."

His face expressionless Artemus said, "Yes Sir."

Ulysses S. Grant frowned, intrigued. It wasn't Artemus' style to refuse a mission, especially a direct order from the President. "What is it, Artemus? It's not the first time you worked with people you don't like and who tried to kill you, right? Did he do something personal to you?"

Artie shook his head, "No Sir."

Looking at his best friend Jim smiled and said, "I think Artie doesn't like this assignment, not because of the Prince but because of me."

Surprised and then curious Grant raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

Placing a hand on his partner's shoulder, trying to soothe him, Jim responded, "in order to protect the Prince I had to have him kidnapped by two agents and one of them got caught up in the show and hit Artie on his head, knocking him out. He didn't appreciate that. Then I tricked him into replacing the Prince… and Artie doesn't like to be fooled. Then he didn't like wearing the Prince's full colorful ceremonial garb." He chuckled and then added, "He was half naked and he was very cold…"

Glaring at Jim Artemus replied, "I was freezing! The feathers were blue, like my cold-cold skin!"

Removing his hand from Artie's shoulder, Jim smiled. "I told you I was sorry, I apologized – and you accepted my apology."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Artemus said, "I know, but I'm still mad at you." And he was very tempted to pout.

President Grant chuckled.

His two best agents sometimes acted like two bickering siblings, the youngest teasing the oldest. "So everything is fine. You will embark on board the USS Lincoln in a week in San Francisco. I recommend that you prepare your belongings for a long journey."

WWW

Three months later

Ta'ū island, Samoa

The sky was blue with a few far-off gray clouds.

The hot, blinding sun of the tropics was beating down on Jim and Artie as they crossed the water's edge, walking on algae and shellfish.

Grinning in near ecstasy Jim grabbed a fistful of fine, white sand and exclaimed, "Solid ground! After three never-ending months on a ship! Finally!" And he couldn't help but leap up with joy. Then he puffed, as he realized that he was swimming in sweat under his vest. He took it off, knotting the sleeves around his waist. The heat was sweltering.

But the cackling seagulls didn't mind.

Standing behind his best friend, Artemus smiled mockingly while running his fingers through his thick bushy beard. "Yes, we have finally reached our destination. Hurrah!"

Unlike Jim who had barely endured life on board, spending most of his time cloistered in his cabin reading a lot, sleeping a lot and vomiting a lot too, longing to set foot on land, he had – thanks to the Captain - shared the crew's different tasks and watches, even night watches. He had become a sailor again to his greatest pleasure pleased to see that he hadn't forgotten anything about his past as a sailor. Everything had come back naturally, he thought.

He helped Jim to stand and then pointed at the rowboat manned by four sailors who were moving away on clear, shimmering blue water to return to the USS Lincoln which had anchored offshore. "Captain Herringford has to go to Australia and then he'll come back in three weeks and then we'll go back home. We are on an assignment, but overseas. It hasn't happened to us very often."

Grabbing his travel bag, Jim looked around him at the stretch of beach. It was short, curved and ending on either side in groups of large black, jagged rocks, gentle white and foamy waves lapping at the shore.

Then he glanced at all the trees that blanketed this side of the island. An almost steep slope stood in front of them, covered with dense, almost impenetrable vegetation with lush all-kinds-of-green foliage, lined with palm trees. "It's really beautiful!" He exclaimed in awe. "But looks wild and hostile," he added with a bit of concern in his voice.

Artie nodded. "Yes, it is, Jim." Shifting into lecture mode, he continued, "The island is the eroded remnant of an active volcano, which explains the black rocks and the steep slopes. It is covered with dense vegetation. The rain forest contains many birds and mosquitoes, a few mammals and several snakes, lizards and spiders. The weather is usually warm and humid with frequent showers of rain. Ta'ū is the largest island in the Manu'a Group, in Samoan, Manuʻa tele. It consists of three main islands, Ta'ū called Opoun as well, Ofu and Olosega. The last known volcanic eruption in the Manu'a Islands was in 1866 near Ofu and Olosega. The volcano is called Lata Mountain."

Suddenly the two men heard voices and a group of strongly built men wearing colored cloth around their waists, necklaces and bracelets and holding short spears with a long blade appeared in front of them, coming out from the underbrush, sending birds flying away.

Feeling a bit tense, Jim dropped his big bag at his feet and lowered his hand to his right side where he kept a knife in a sheath. "Speaking of welcoming… They don't look very welcoming."

Patting his partner's arm soothingly, Artie said, "Don't worry. They're not going to kill us. Christian missionaries civilized them. They're not savages anymore."

Not reassured, Jim asked, "All of them? You're sure? Because you told me some remote Samoans warriors are still headhunters."

Sure of himself, Artie replied, "Not on this island."

He wasn't too sure about that when the six warriors – their limbs covered with tattoos encircled them, showing their teeth menacingly, letting out cries intended to impress them and pointing their spears at them, the tips almost touching them.

Looking at Artie who had learned everything Samoan said, "Before we're killed and then cooked, tell them who we are and that Prince Tanu invited us to his coronation." Then he removed his hand from his knife in a gesture of appeasement.

Lowering his travel bag to the warm sand, Artie complied… and nothing happened. So he repeated what he had just said.

This time one of the native wearing a shark-tooth necklace and bracelets pointed at the ground saying something that Artemus translated. "We have to remove our clothes."

Frowning, Jim asked, "Why?" and Artie repeated the question in Samoan.

Feeling the tip of a spear brush his Adam's apple Artie replied, "I don't know, but I think that it is in our interest to obey."

Once they were naked, the warrior who had talked to Artemus told them why. Artie immediately translated to his partner what the other man had just said. "White people tried to kill Tanu two days ago… and naked, we can't hide weapons."

Jim nodded. "Of course not."

The warrior said something else and unknotted the pieces of cloth he had wrapped around his waist, on top of his own.

He gave one to Jim (with painted shells) and one to Artemus (with painted turtles) who said, "It's a barkcloth called a siapo."

Bowing his head in a gesture of thanks, Artie covered his middle with the piece of cloth and watched Jim while did the same.

Then the two agents were escorted over to the edge of the trees, the Samoans surrounding them, leaving behind their clothes and bags. They headed inland, following the barely visible path snaking through the tropical rainforest, hundreds of insects and birds acting as background noise.

Glancing at Artie, Jim swatted a hungry mosquito and said, a bit worried, "I hope they're leading us to the Prince, and not in a cauldron to be scalded to death like lobsters and then devoured."

Looking back at his best friend Artemus said, "He didn't tell me, Jim, but we can assume they are working for him. Be careful of any snakes or spiders in the undergrowth." He chuckled and then added, "They wouldn't eat you, Jim, you're too skinny for that. You're just skin and bones. You haven't eaten much for three months, yet the food was good."

Feeling better, Jim smiled. "I got seasick. You on the other hand, you ate well. You even gained weight. They'll be eating you."

WWW

A few hours later

Emerging from the edge of the rainforest, both Jim and Artie walked a little longer and then they collapsed to the moss covered ground, in the middle of a village built in a large clearing.

They were completely exhausted by a long walk through the dense forest which was unbearably hot, and humid and sticky.

They barely saw a thing on their way up to the village, as the foliage was so thick that only a small amount of light filtered through the canopy of leaves and other plant crowns.

They had zigzagged through sharp rocks, traitorous roots, thorny branches and brambles and stinging vines on a series of almost unclimbable steep hills. Bugs had thrived off their blood and sweat and had been a never ending stream of misery.

Fortunately if they heard wild animals they didn't show – but they encountered plate-sized spiders and different colorful snakes, cautiously avoiding them all.

They were soaked through and through with sweat, their arms were scratched, cut and dotted with red blotches and their feet muddy and bloodied. A veil of mist overhung the village perched at the top of the volcano, asleep for several years now, near the caldera.

Immediately all the people living there in small, long-shaped houses built and driven by intense curiosity gathered around the couple of white men scrambling to a sitting position - but the warriors kept them away using their short lances.

One of the villagers, an old man, his whole body covered with black tattoos, raised the long sculpted stick he held and the warriors parted, allowing him to kneel beside the two white men.

Prince Tenu attracted by the noise of conversations mixing together to form a hubbub, left the royal house, a long cloak of multicolored feathers hanging behind him and headed toward the crowd.

Immediately two warriors framed him, escorting him.

People moved away from him and bowed to the ground as he walked toward Jim and Artie, who had managed to sit on the ground.

They were far too tired to notice that the women standing among the villagers were dressed only in a skirt made of braided bark, and that's all.

Prince Tanu grinned when he discovered them. "James! Artemus! I'm sooo happy to see you again! When I saw the boat drop anchor, I couldn't wait to see you! Welcome to the village of Taʻū, on the island of Taʻū. I know, it's not very original, This place is the traditional capital of Manuʻa."

Not sharing Tanu's enthusiasm, Jim wiped his scratched and stinging brow with the back of his hand which was crisscrossed with thin red lines; as sweat blurred his vision and diplomatically said, "It's not easy to get here, Sire. It's like walking through lush green hell."

Sweat dampening his forehead and the back of his neck, Artie deadpanned, "And we had charming guides and not a minute's rest." He reached out and massaged his aching right foot, wincing. "Ow!"

Tanu nodded. "I chose this place to be safe here. It's very difficult to access and easily defendable against my enemies." Then he grimaced in both worry and disgust, fingering the large necklace of white and black pearls that he had around his neck. 'Oooh! You need to be cared for and a bath and rest!" Looking down at the old man with the long, white hair, he added, "My healer, Manua is going to take care of you." He gestured toward the warriors and said something in his language. Two men roughly pulled Jim and Artie to their feet. "I'll have you brought something to eat and drink too. See you later my friends." And he turned around, heading back to the fale tele (big house).

Manua pointed in the direction of the falema'I ("house of the ill"). "Follow me," and he headed there, Jim and Artie dragging their limbs heavily as they forced one foot in front of the other.

Once Jim and Artie were under the hut, the rain started to downpour and everyone ran for the shelter of their homes.

Manua pointed his finger to the floor made of smooth pebbles and partially covered with mats and said, "Please, get undressed." and seeing that the two men looked surprised to hear him speak English, he added, "I learnt your language by talking to all the white men who have come to this island, long, long before the missionaries arrived here to 'civilize us', by forcing us to learn English and abandon our culture and our ancestral beliefs to worship their God. But that will change soon with our new king Tanu."

Curious Artie asked, while slowly, very slowly unwrapping his piece of cloth. "How so?" He asked, his body aching in ways he didn't think were possible.

The old man responded, "Mappa loved everything the white man had brought here, Tanu will reject everything, he will return to our traditions, and expel the missionaries from our islands. He wants us to be who we were before."

Jim let his sapio puddle on the floor. "Does the whole population agree with this?"

Manua shook his head. "No, some groups living on other islands want to live the 'new way of life' initiated by the former king. They are led by Taua, Tanu's younger brother."

Artie nodded. "And they want to kill Tanu for that?"

The healer nodded. "Yes, six men tried to kill him last week, and two before that. They almost succeeded. Tanu then chose to come here. This place is safe."

Once the two men were naked they followed the healer to the other side of the house, to a natural mud bath, around which flat volcanic stones had been installed. There was steam coming out of it and popping bubbles covered the grayish sloshy substance.

Stopping at the edge, Jim remembered that not so long ago, a man had tried to drown him in that luxurious SPA mud bath – and failed.

Manua said, "Submerge yourself in the mud. Mud is going to heal your injuries and help to relax your muscles, and all the pains you have will go. There are flat rocks at the bottom that you can sit on. I will come back later," he said and then he headed back inside.

Complying, Jim and Artie cautiously entered the ripe-smelling mud bath and soon were completely submerged.

They emerged a few seconds later, turned gray by a thick coat of mud and wiped the sticky mud from their eyes and mouth.

Jim wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Phew! That mud smells awful, and it's very hot!" he said.

Sitting on a rock at the bottom of the mud bath like Jim, Artie yawned, feeling overwhelmed with fatigue, his sore limbs starting to relax. "The mud is made with clay of volcanic origin, and characterized by perpetual bubbles of gas rising to its surface… typical of very active geothermal zones. They contain sulphur and steam, and the mud's hot," He drawled and then yawned widely.

He was the first to close his eyes and fell asleep. Lulled by the quiet hum of insects .Jim drifted off to sleep a few seconds later, his whole body feeling hard, exhaustion turning his muscles to lead.

He woke up some time later in a drowsy haze, laid on his back on a flat stone, in the shade of an immense coconut tree.

Above him, a beautiful tattooed woman was gently smiling to him. He could only see her angelic face surrounded by colorful flowers. "He…llo," he mumbled.

He smiled back, weakly, his body caked in thick dried mud was completely numb, so heavy he thought it weighed tons.

He looked to the side hearing a moan and saw another lovely woman leaning toward his best friend pouring water on Artemus's back.

He was laid on a large flat stone too, on his stomach, he noticed. He watched the Samoan woman, looking fascinated, tracing with her finger the outlines of the black Comanche eagle which was tattooed on the lower part of his back.

He suddenly gasped in surprise when he felt cold water trickling over his shoulder.

His eyes half-mast and through a gray veil he saw a delicate hand, a big sponge… and 'She's washing me," was his last thought before going back to sleep.

WWW

The next morning

The deluge was still drenching the village and the rest of Ta'ū when Jim opened his eyes and he immediately heard the loud, forest birds chirping in the trees before registering that he was laid flat on the floor of one of the village houses.

He noticed that he was all sweaty and sticky and couldn't tell what was worse, the stifling heat - even without the sun shining overhead - or the humidity – damn rainforest! - that clogged the air.

Both, he decided.

He looked to his left and saw Artemus, sleeping like the dead. He was snoring softly, mouth half open and sprawled out on a thin mattress of woven palms.

He ran his hand to the side and, yes, he was laid on that too.

He noticed too that there were no traces left of the scratches, cuts, blotches which covered his best friend's body before their mud bath. It had fantastic healing properties. Manua had them carried there when they were sleeping, he reflected.

He pulled himself into a sitting position – feeling refreshed and ready for whatever would come next - and surveyed his own body. Like Artie's his skin was intact too.

He glanced around him and could hear his bones popping as he stretched out.

The house was built like a stretched oval, with wooden posts holding it up a with simple roof thatching of dry palm leaves of the coconut tree. There were no walls and an open space of grassy lawn surrounded it. He spotted two siapos folded on the mat-covered floor to his right.

He took one, decorated with geometric patterns and placed the other one, on which were painted birds at his best friend's side.

He smiled. "Hi Artie!" he greeted the older man who was awake.

Looking up at Jim, Artemus said, "It's called an afolau, a long house, it's a guest house." Then he moved into a sitting position, amazed to discover his skin intact and that he couldn't feel any pain and even feel rejuvenated, and in a great shape. "I want a sample of this green mud to analyze it in order to replicate it!" He added, stretching his arms, smiling. "It does miracles!" He smiled. "Hi Jim!"

Suddenly two half-naked women dressed in grass skirts, their long, dark hair pierced with flowers, a necklace of shells around their necks, entered the large room. They both held two large wooden plates containing food and a bowl – and Artie's stomach growled.

The two men hurried to cover their laps with the sapio.

Smiling, Jim was more interested in the two lovely women than food. He couldn't help but stare at their perfect tattooed breasts, red growing on his cheeks.

Frowning, upset, Artemus said, "It's impolite to do that, Jim." He paused and added, "This is not the first time I've seen this, I travelled to all the Pacific islands when I was a sailor, a long time ago and all the women had bare breasts." He bowed his head in respect when one of the Samoan women knelt in front of him, presenting him with a dish he recognized, it was Oka. "Thank you," he said taking the plate and the bowl.

He took a sip of what was inside and said, "It's coconut water."

Looking at his own plate suspiciously, Jim asked, "What's this?" then he glanced at his best friend who had started eating with his fingers.

Artie stopped shoveling the Oka into his mouth and then replied, "It's called Oka, Jim. It's raw fish cut into bits marinated in a lemon juice, coconut cream, salt, and onion mixture." He licked his lips hungrily. "It delicious," he said.

Rainfall started up again.

Once the plates and bowls were empty the two women offered a large smile to the two white men and left the house.

Both Jim and Artie finished their meal and then dressed in a piece of bark fabric.

Smiling in return, Jim said, "I think I'm going to like this place." Then his smile vanished from his lips when he saw Tanu - an unpredictable man - heading their way, followed by four guards, a man holding a chair which looked like a throne and Manua. "The serious things are about to start, Artemus," he added, glancing at his partner with a mixture of dread and anticipation.

WWW

Sitting on his throne, Tanu looked up at Manua standing at his side and then said, "Manua told me he had told you what is happening."

Sitting cross-legged to the floor, both Jim and Artie nodded and the older man said, "Yes he did. What do you intend to do, Sire?"

His face like stone, Tanu responded, voice sharp, "Find those who want to kill me and execute them! Just as I had those who tried to murder me thrown into the volcano. They crashed to the bottom, on rocks and they died instantly, too bad. I would have liked to see them swallowed by the lava... But that will be for next time. I know a fault where the lava is still molten... The location will be perfect for future executions – and I won't forgive and save my brother, Taua who is leading these rebels. He will also die, but in another way, more slowly, in agonizing pain." He suddenly relaxed, smiled broadly and then said, "And, James, Artemus you're going to help me in this task, my friends."

Embarrassed Jim said, "We came here to assist in your coronation as representatives of the US Government, Sire, and we are not at your command. Only the President of the United States can give us orders. So we're not going to help you."

Frowning, upset and offended, Tanu's temper flared and he replied, "Maybe a few minutes in the black pit, will change your mind. Seize them!"

In a flash Jim was up on his feet and with a well-aimed uppercut sent the first two warriors flying into the air… but froze when he saw that two others had pinned his partner to the floor, pressing the blades of their short lances to his throat.

He took a step back and raised his hands. "Alright, let's discuss it, Sire. But first remove your warriors from Artemus."

Eyes flashing in anger Tanu said, "You just offended me! No one can say 'no' to me! I'm sacred! And you'll pay for that, dearly." He paused and changing mood again, he looked at Artie and said, "I see you've grown a beard, my dear Artemus, it looks good on you."

Artie couldn't help but roll his eyes.

WWW

Later

Inside the black pit

Looking up at Tanu who smiled back like a maniac, Jim and Artie then glanced at the rope that a warrior was pulling up.

The future King said, "This place is usually used by the villagers to steam cook all kind of food, fish, lobsters, crabs, etc. They put them at the end of this rope, in a basket because it is too dangerous to go down into the pit. If you touch the walls you'll find they are extremely hot. Jets of burning steam regularly come out of the cracks in the rock... and as you can see, there are many of them... And of course, so that this scalding steam does not escape, the villagers plug the pit hole with coconut leaves..." He snapped his fingers and the man standing at his side started laying long branches of coconut tree across the opening. "See you in few hours…all red and well-cooked."

Soon after the two men were left in the darkness.

Feeling sweat run down the side of his nose Jim asked Artie, "Do you remember when we were stranded in a similar situation, Artemus? Trapped in the steam pit, about to be cooked alive?" He then moved to the side, and forward and backward, as the soles of his feet were burning. He couldn't stay immobile more than a few seconds.

Imitating Jim, Artemus said, "Yes, I remember. I was disguised as a Chinese arms merchant Captain Sumatra. I love that character. I should use it more often…" He paused, wiping sweat from his face with the back of his hand and then added, "But we're not exactly in the same situation. Here the pit is deeper and the walls smooth and slippery. It's impossible to climb up to the opening."

Suddenly there was a hiss and a powerful jet of superheated steam appeared between the two men who instinctively backed off - avoiding being burned.

Inside the deep hole, the stifling heat, already very difficult to bear, climbed, pressing on them. Each breath in burned the two men's lungs.

Deeply worried Artemus said, "We're going to end up like two lobster on a plate after being cooked alive, if the heat doesn't kill us before the steam." and he was very thirsty. And you can add dehydration to that list. God! My kingdom for a glass of fresh water…" He licked his lips as his mouth was parched dry.

Hearing a new hiss the two men plunged to the ground, burning their hands and knees on the ultra-hot rocks covering the bottom of the pit.

Dripping sweat Jim grabbed Artemus's arm and rasped, "You alright?" voice tinged with concern when he heard him coughing.

Artie managed to push up on all four, whimpering and shook his head.

He started to feel dizzy and sick and right after threw up bile on the ground. "No." But as he couldn't stay there, he stood… and started jumping in the dark, to prevent his feet from burning too much, bumping into his best friend who was doing the same thing.

There was a new hiss and the steam jet was so powerful that it invaded the pit entirely and the stifling heat roasted them both inside and out.

Immediately they howled in atrocious pain. Burning. They were burning. and they collapsed to the ground, bodies shaking.

Losing consciousness, Artie mumbled, "Lobsters…" voice cracking and then he stopped moving. Jim followed him into unconsciousness a few seconds later.

Tbc.