A/N: *EDIT*

Its clearly stated that Illya summoned her Servant MONTHS before the war. Look it up on the wiki if you don't believe me.

Right.

Fuck it, I can't win.

People are sick of Beast.

I TRIED to explain this, but noooooooo.

He's not going to show up in every bloody story, oi! "Master" is the last time we see him for awhile! HE'S NOT EVEN THE MAIN VILLAIN DAMNIT! There's something worse out there that I haven't revealed yet. Someone you'd never see coming but people just. Kept. Complaining. Some were nice. Others...were not. Hang myself? Seriously? I hope you're happy! I've spoiled it! But I'm not naming them. So ponder who they are. You'll never see them coming.

Thank the trolls for that. They've ruined the surprise. To the rest of you, thanks for sticking with me. Aaaaaaand I've just been called into work at the time of this author's note.

On my only. Day. Off.

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Looks like its back to the grindstone. Looking forward to chatting with each of you when I get back.

So here. Another update. Out of spite for the trolls. Enjoy it. Have at ye.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it.

References are glorious and I own nothing~!

Illya is sodding adorable...

...and terrifying.

"For no more shall I travel as a man."

~Dracula.

Healing Hands (Interlude)

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Time to wake up, runt."

...I don't wanna. 'S morning...

"No, its the middle of the afternoon! Up!"

"Stupidannoyingzerkerletmesleepyoubastardhateyousomuch...

Senseless babbling slapped at empty air as strong arms lifted their owner from the bed. Ineffectual flailing aside, it was almost adorable how much she resisted him. With each step she tried to slap at him, despite her lack of wakefulness. Slim legs kicked ineffectually at his waist. Illya was a heavy sleeper, and not the sort to be woken lightly. If he hadn't prepared a piping hot plate of breakfast downstairs, he doubted she would've woken at all. Little homonculus slept like the dead when she wanted to.

With a long suffering sigh,

This war was going to be the death of him.

That or the girl. No, he decided, definitely the girl.

Kurama could feel it in his bones as he stubbornly held onto her as she showered at his chest with weak punches; an almost pleasant ache resonating from his chest, one that promised he'd be back to cracking skulls in short order as soon as he finished up this errant. Oddly enough, he found himself oddly eager for the distraction. Downright anxious, even. Not the whole cracky-skull bit-though he did take some sordid pleasure in smiting fools-but for the war itself to start. He didn't much like living in this state as a Servant, nor was he gleefully anticipating the battles ahead with any great relish. Frankly he just wanted to give the kid his body back and pretend this mess never happened. The Alter Ego felt like he'd been waiting ages, now.

That was his entire purpose for entering this war in the first place.

He'd answered the call for that very reason.

And perhaps a touch of pity.

Carefully cradling his charge, the monster wearing a man's face slipped down the steps and carried-dragged, more like!-her towards the table.

He glimpsed her maids in passing; one even offered him a light nod. The other granted him only the most stubborn of scowls. Fair enough. She didn't trust him.

He didn't much trust himself, either.

For all its size the Einzbern manor-located just outside of Fuyuki City-rather reminded him of home. At least, the one he'd had in life. At the height of his power he had lain claim to an abode not unlike this one, though it was a great deal larger. He should know. He'd spent a number of months here preparing for the war with his little Master, and he could proudly say that his old home exceeded this.

Then there was the matter of his master.

Not only did she have an inferiority complex a mile wide-and a serious chip on her shoulder-but she was more than a little bloodthirsty. In all honesty she was also a bit of a brat, though he supposed he couldn't blame her. Had he been raised in such a manner, he would've gone mad ages ago. That she still managed to hold herself together was something to be applauded.

Illya stirred in his arms, finally coming around as the rising scent of food reached her nose.

Now whatever Naruto, Kurama, Kuroto, Narama-or whatever label you wanted to slap on this strange and unholy union between the two-they were no fool. He knew trauma when he saw it. Someone or something had all but betrayed her, a betrayal so deep that she'd never truly recovered from it; her heart irrevocably wounded to the point that she willfully played the part of a little girl rather than act her true age. And for all her prancing and preening, Illyasviel was still very much a girl.

She would never willingly admit just how deeply she was hurting.

He suspected she'd rather die than show weakness to anyone; nothing less than an equal.

So she puffed out her cheeks and tucked her head into his chest, no doubt expecting him to delivered her meal to her, as he had for the last few months. She never saw her Alter cut away from the table and swoop toward a nearby couch instead. Her maids saw what he was doing-likely realizing what he intended-but they were too far to intervene. The shorter one-which one was that?-called out to him.

"What are you doing, Servant?"

Kurama could've made an excuse-and was almost tempted to imitate a certain Copycat at that-but in the end he abstained from being childish. Mostly. This had be a long time in coming; with the War rapidly approaching it was all the more important that he complete this task forthwith. When she didn't falter, he stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry at her.

"Nyeh~!"

Forthwith.

Right.

That did it.

Perhaps realizing something was wrong, Illya turned her head from his chest and actually attempted to struggle for real this time. In response, he dumped her down on a small couch he'd been approaching, sprawling her across its crimson surface. She snapped at him, but he only smiled. Her maids-Sella and Leysritt, if he recalled correctly-bristled at this blase behavior. Good girls. They'd guard her well when he hunted.

Oh.

Right.

He had a cheeky little imp to deal with first.

"Stop struggling, you." he growled, "I'm trying to help-

A pillow sailed right into his face, muffling his words spectacularly.

Brat.

In that moment, she almost reminded him of one of his daughters, though her mental health was clearly in question at the moment.

Yukiko.

She had been a willful child with her mother's dark hair but none his temper; she'd inherited THAT from him. As the youngest of his brood, she'd always had something to prove. Turn those ebony tresses white, drop a few inches or so, and she rather resembled Illya.

Cute kid.

And yet Illya had so much more fire to her than Yukiko ever did. Even the most energetic children would always stop past a point when he told them to; but Illya took orders from no one. She was not easily convinced or cajoled; if she didn't like you, she'd BITE. She would shout and scratch and scream and claw at you until she got past. She had grit. Determination in spades. Once she set her sights on something, nothing short of death would stop her. Almost made him proud, really. So he would help her. Do his best to fix her. He'd been doing just that for several days now, unbeknownst to her. Now if she'd just cease this blind insistence that he was a Berserker...

"Roll up your sleeve, please."

Reluctantly, she did as he'd asked her.

"Berserker," and didn't his eye just twitch when she called him that, "Why aren't you feeding me? I ordered you to bring me breakfast."

"So you did." he hummed. "And I will. Just give me one...second."

Kurama didn't hesitate and lashed out immediately.

"Ow!" She hissed when he pushed a clawed digit into her bare arm and drew blood. "What was that for?!"

Rather than answer he placed a tan palm over the minor wound. A rich rush of crimson flooded from his fingers and into the blood. Illya didn't so much shudder as she did jump, but her Servant faithfully held her in place as he coaxed the wound to close. There. His work, a labor of love lasting several months, was finally done.

"There." he informed her primly as she boggled up at him. "I just added ten more years to your lifespan, maybe more. You're welcome."

Illya blinked owlishly.

Once.

Thrice.

No dice.

"Ten years?" the words emerged as a pitiful squeak and she immediately cursed herself for it. No. She mustn't show weakness. Even here. Even to him. Where was this coming from?! He'd made no mention of any of this in the time they'd spent together; for him to simply make such a statement blew her out of the water. And yet...it was more than she could ever dream of.

Wait a minute.

His words pricked at her. "Ten...more?"

"I've done all I can; you've just about reached the maximum lifespan in that body of yours. Enjoying living to be two hundred." her jaw popped open as he paced away from her. "While we're at it, I should probably inform you that I've been giving you these little chakra transfusions for awhile now. That was the last one." the words came to her as though through a fog as she reeled back on her heels. "Welcome to puberty." his grin almost reminded her of...mama. "You ought to start growing over the next few weeks but physically, ya ought to peak around the twenties and stay there. Permanently. No old age for you."

Words lodged in her throat. "You...you're lying."

This was too much to hope for; as an young adult trapped in a little girl's body.

And yet a thorn of hesitation, of fear, caught against her heart and made her hesitate.

"But the grail-

"Can find someone else for a host." her Alter sniffed. "No Master of mine is going to throw her life away on my watch."

No, no, no! Didn't he understand?! He couldn't do that!

"You can't just decide that-

"KURAMA CHOP!"

His attack did exactly what the name suggested; five taut fingers smashed down on her skull in a stern chop to raise a seething welt there. Painful stars burst before Illya's vision as she yelped and clutched at her head, to no avail. No second strike followed. When she dared to look yo, she found he'd dropped to his haunches, the better to look her in the eye. A tan hand gently-yet-firmly pulled hers in a large palm, softly smoothing the skin of her pale fingers against his own.

"I can." he declared. "I am. What about you, kid? What do you want?"

"Huh?"

Red eyes crinkled, whiskered cheeks dimpling as he smiled. "You already told me about killing this "brother" of yours. That can't be the sum of your ambitions. Revenge? You must want something more."

Illya's enthusiasm cooled in her stomach and she snatched her hand away. "What do you know about revenge-

"I do know!"

He burst to his feet and she flinched as his voice boomed like thunder.

"I know what its like to live with vengeance." when he rounded on her she jerked back at the sight of those inverted slits, of the scars on his face, but he grabbed her wrist, forcing her to look at him. "It curls around your heart like an old gnarled root; like a poison, strangling everything! You say ya want revenge?! Revenge gains you nothing in the end. Only momentary satisfaction! Now tell me the truth."

The truth.

What was her truth?

She wanted to live. To be loved. To have a full life. To take back all that had been denied her. It was her right. She'd suffered so much. She was owed this. That boy had taken papa from her. At least, that was what she had been told. And yet why didn't she believe that? Why did her heart still hurt? She didn't want to think about it. In that moment, Illya wanted nothing more than to shove those thoughts away. But she couldn't. They'd found her, grabbed her, pressing down around her. She could think of nothing else.

What did she want? What indeed?

She already knew.

"Say it."

Tears swelled in her eyes. "I want to live."

He raised a hand to his ear. "Can't hear you, kid."

"I WANT TO LIVE!" It burst out of her all at once as her hand cracked out like a whip. "There! Are you happy now?!"

Kurama made no move to evade her. His head swayed against the slap, snapping sharply to the right. Idiot. Why didn't he move? It would've been well within his power to lash out then; he could've killed her in any true manner of ways and she wouldn't be able to stop him. Instead he tilted his head and stared at her as though the answer were the most obvious thing in the world. Perhaps it was. And the anger drained out of her. She'd struck him; hurt her own Servant. And for what? He wasn't even angry at her.

"Then live." he said.

Illya hiccuped softly. "I don't know how."

"Start by finding someone to live for." her Servant suggested.

"I don't have anyone left now." something small and tiny in her shrank away.

A blond brow rose. "You have Sella and Leysritt, don't you? And you have me, for what its worth."

His words shouldn't have had such an effect on Illya; yet they did. She was used to being lied to. Deceived. Twisted. But to be told the truth, to receive this very faintest of guiding lights here in her darkest moment...it was more than her poor heart could hope to bear. She tried to hold out. She really did. Her fists clenched at her sides and she bit her lip to stifle a sob. Her Alter could've said any number of things in that moment, could have taken advantage of her weakness in any number of ways. Instead, he opened his arms and favored her with a fatherly smile.

"Wanna hug?"

Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT!

"Berserker!" she cried!

The dam broke and she snapped forward.

This time, the Alter reciprocated and moved to meet her.

Tiny hands fisted into his jacket and balled up against the thick fabric.

"Its not fair! Why did they leave me behind?!" Emotion welled up in Illya and she choked on it. "I loved them! I loved them and they left me!"

He didn't answer her, and somehow the silence made everything so much worse.

For the first time in years Illya wept uncontrollably. Great hiccuping sobs fled from her as her mind fractured; love and hate and fear shredding her thoughts into an unrecognizable mess. There could be no salvaging them now, no stepping back after this. No saving them. She didn't want to save them. She wanted mama. She wanted papa. But she could never have them back, not now, not ever. Not even with the Grail could ease this pain in her heart. Her childhood was gone; it had died an age ago, now all that remained was a broken soul sobbing into a Servant's chest.

Stupid 'zerker.

Why was he so damned smart?

If only he were a mindless monster; a grunting automaton that silently obeyed her every whim. It would be easier then. She almost wished it were. Then he wouldn't make her think like this. Wouldn't make her cry like a little girl; that tiny, frail thing she'd sworn never to be. To his credit, her Servant didn't speak. Warm arms encircled her and for once, and he didn't argue against the false class she called him.

These first, tentative steps.

She'd taken the path to becoming a better person.

In that moment, for all her protests, she was very much a child.

Kurama knew how to take care with children, or those who acted like one.

This was the beginning of the Illya's redemption; and so much more. She had no way of knowing.

In that moment, she made up her mind. She would win. She would live, if only to spite this awful destiny of hers.

When all was said and done, the world would tremble before her. Ah, how little she knew. How truly, terribly little indeed...

A/N: There.

Illya's a good girl, she's just misunderstood.

I could go into a long, windy exposition about that I have planned for this story but the recent death threats and harassment has taken a bite out of my enthusiasm. Folks are saying I don't update my shit. Would you look at that? I'm proving them wrong. Lets see how long I can keep this up before I keel over, eh? Death's trying to sink her nasty little claws into me again, but I'm a stubborn boi and I don't have time to die. I have things to do, so very much to do...

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it.

So, in the Eternal and Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly? Please?

No previews. Sorry, everyone.

I'm not in a good mood.

...fine. But only three.

Its gets heavy.

(Preview)

"Piggyback!"

"Whatever you say, your majesty."

Kurama sighed as she leaped onto his shoulders.

"You know." something twisted in his shoulders. "I just realized something."

Red light began to bubble up from the pit of his stomach.

"Until now, I've been fighting as man would."

His smile turned wild and feral, crazed.

"How silly of me to forget."

He dropped to all fours.

"I'm not a man; not all at all. I'M A MONSTER."

The enemy Servant didn't even have time to scream before he pounced.

Alter didn't laugh at him. Didn't shake his head. Didn't even deign to blink. Illya shrank back behind his waist, seeking shelter in his shadow. A clawed hand idly patted her head, but those wild red eyes never once left the King of Heroes. They didn't dare. As she looked on the blond calmly reached up and pulled the sword from his shoulder, uncaring of the deep wound left behind. She willed the faintest tug of her mana towards the gaping tear and it healed at once, smooth pink flesh molding over red.

Still, he didn't look at her.

"I have seen many things in my lifetime," he began slowly, choosing the words with great care."I have passed the tombs of kings. I have scoured the seas for miles. I have witnessed wonders and horrors that would make you weep and steel yourself against your very thoughts. I have seen good men and cruel men alike. And I can say this, with utter surety." A lone finger rose, and thrust itself at him with imperious anger. "You are no king of mine, Gilgamesh. Leave this place. Now. Before I make you."

"Take care how you speak to me, mongrel." Twin golden portals bloomed at his back. "Lest I smite you. Now. Give me the girl."

Kurama stepped forward. "Never."

At his side, she saw his fingers flick in a recognizable sign.

The same ones that he'd taught her. Danger. Run. Escape. NOW.

She made it all of three steps before the portals belched golden death.

R&R! =D