breath, darling (your lungs were made for this)

A Katekyo Hitman Reborn Fanfiction

Female Sawada Tsunayoshi

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. Credit for title goes to lostcap at Tumblr

Warnings: typos, grammatical error

CHAPTER 5 part 1

The descent is easy enough at the beginning.

They still have daylight. The rocks aren't slippery. Plenty of dead branches for them to hold onto. Still, they cannot afford to be careless. The nymphs, her brave, brave girls, venture down ahead to make sure it's safe. Everytime Xanxus and Hayato stop, they look up to see how she is doing. Tsu sorely wanted to tell them that they don't need to worry about her but held her tongue. Unlike the nymphs who can fly to safety, or the immortal Xanxus, Tsu and Hayato don't have wings or magic to fall back on.

Tsu knows, if he must choose, Xanxus will pick her over Hayato.

Which means all the more reason for her to be careful.

They continue their way downhill until what daylight left turns orange. At the same time, they come upon a surface flat and wide enough to hold all three of them. Xanxus hands over a piece of jerky to Tsu and Hayato, and a handful of beans for the girls.

"There will be no more light after this," He says as they eat. "I'll light up a fire for us. It doesn't make the descent any less dangerous. So," Xanxus pulled out a rope from his backpack.

Tsu and Hayato looked at each other.

Xanxus has Tsu cling onto his front like a squirrel. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Xanxus double bind the ropes around them for extra measure. Xanxus spares some length between him and Hayato so the boy won't need to hold onto him. This also means that if the rope snaps, Xanxus won't be able to catch Hayato in time. Judging from the way Hayato's mouth thinned, he noticed this as well, but he said nothing.

The girls stuff themselves in Tsu's backpack. It is dangerous to fly in the dark.

Xanxus tears out a dead root and snaps it to halves. He lit up one end on fire. Hayato gasps loudly at the display. Xanxus throws the brand at him, which Hayato catches rather clumsily, but he is otherwise unhurt.

"Who are you?" He muttered under his breath. Xanxus and Tsu heard him though.

"When we reach the bottom, I'll tell you."

They move at a slow pace. If they are above ground, Tsu and Hayato would talk. Down here, neither could come up with the will to speak. They need to save all their energy. Because they'll need it.

It doesn't take much time before the daylight no longer reaches them. The only illumination they have left is the brand in Hayato's hold. The fire does not eat away the wood. Magical fire is so practical.

What seems like hours passed until their first water break. They stopped once they found semi flat ground. The 'path' is getting steeper the lower they go. Tsu takes three careful sips from her waterskin before handing it over to Hayato. He follows her example by drinking in small amounts. Tsu doesn't offer Xanxus. Tsu and Hayato needed the water more than him.

On their second water break, Tsu noticed the soles of Hayato's sandals had worn off.

On their third water break (and second meal), Hayato's hands are blistered all over.

Her throat tightens at the sight of them. "Hayato…"

"It's okay," Hayato smiles reassuringly at her. "I can still go on."

They are close enough for Tsu to reach out and brush Hayato's bangs. He leans into her touch.

There is no draft down here. At least they don't have to worry about catching a cold. No noise except for their breathing or their movements. Instead there is magic. It sent shivers down her spine. The magic doesn't exude sheer power like the sun. It felt ancient.

Yet Tsu can't shake off this feeling of nostalgia.

To her shame, Tsu dozed off some time after their last water break. It's hard to tell how much time has come to pass in this darkness. She is jerked awake when she hears Hayato scream.

"Hayato?!"

It's so dark down here- Wait, where is the fire?!

She can feel Xanxus's breath against her ear. "The brat dropped the torch."

"I'm sorry," Hayato sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't cry," Xanxus said through gritted teeth. "You'll waste energy."

Tsu can hear the sob replaced with sniffles. "Hayato," She tries not to hiss. Xanxus is right. If they panic now, they'll lose precious energy. Unlike her, Hayato didn't get a wink of sleep since they started their descent.

"Now what?" She said out loud. Xanxus doesn't need to rest but Tsu and Hayato certainly do. What if they run out of food and water before they even reach the Underworld? The nymphs can't fly in this darkness. Simply put… They're stuck.

A moment of silence passed. In the end, Tsu turned to look at Xanxus (nevermind it's pitch black down here). He is the only one who can move at the moment. The only one who is hardest to kill out of their little group.

Xanxus's red eyes lit up in the darkness. He looked at her. "We jump."

"What?"

"What?" Hayato shouts from below.

Xanxus doesn't blink. "It's the fastest way." Those red eyes look downward. "Brat, shut your mouth. Or you'll bite your tongue off."

"What does that-aaaAAAAAaaaaahhhhh!"

Xanxus has let go off the walls and Tsu feel the familiar pull of gravity yank her. She feels her heart lodged in her throat. All she can do is to cling to Xanxus tighter. Hayato's scream doesn't cease. The girls are shrieking.

(She still doesn't pray though.)

The world turned upside down when Hayato stopped screaming.

It took her a few seconds to notice that they were upside down.

The world is no longer shrouded in black. Tsu can actually see now. The world- Underworld- is grey. Tsu has no idea where the lighting comes from but she has enough visibility to notice it in the first place. From her position, she can see Hayato dangling below them, the rope being the only thing that saved him from plummeting to his death. Xanxus stabbed his sword into the stone ceiling just in time to stop their momentum.

...Thank goodness Xanxus doesn't need air to survive. Otherwise he would already choke from Tsu's grip around his neck.

Tsu is too afraid to look down so she keep her gaze upward. "Xanxus, how are we going to get down?" Their lives is in Xanxus's hand. His hand is their whole world.

Xanxus doesn't answer. He looks at the world below them with a calculating gaze. Hayato twists his body around so he can hold onto the rope.

No one said anything for a few heartbeats.

And then.

Tsu swears her heart stops working when she hears the noise. In the corner of her eyes, she saw cracks spread from the spot where Xanxus stabbed his sword.

Xanxus used his free hand to reach out and before he could do anything, the sword slipped.

"No!"

Someone is screaming. Is it Hayato? Is it her? Tsu can't tell anymore.

Xanxus wraps his free arm around her. Tsu looked up to the stony ceiling from behind his shoulder. Is this it? Will they be bound to the Underworld just like this? Because they don't prepare enough? Have the Fates lied to them?

No! She will not let it end like this! Not when they barely even started.

Think! Think! Think!

And the world comes to a halt.

Tsu blinks. She looks down only to find that they are fixed in place. They are still on air. How-

"Are you flying?!" Hayato shouted from below them.

Tsu turned to Xanxus. He wears an expression that he didn't expect it either.

"It came back?" Tsu whispers.

Xanxus gives her an almost imperceptible nod. "It came back."

Xanxus's flight returned to him just in the nick of time. How convenient.

Neither Tsu or Xanxus speak anymore. Hayato looked up to them with his mouth making the perfect 'o' shape. They- Xanxus- resume their descent once more. Tsu can feel the girls squirm inside the backpack.

Now that they no longer have to worry about falling to their death, Tsu uses the chance to check their surroundings.

It doesn't take long for her eyes to zero in on one object in the distance.

It looks like a black tower at first glance, but it's not. Tsu would recognise her roots anywhere. The tree roots, blackened by rot, twisted together like a rope. It looks like a monstrosity. It shouldn't look like that. If Tsu can see it from this distance, who knows how big they are up close? The roots penetrate the stone above and the ground below. What lies underneath the Underworld? The question Tsu never thought would cross her mind.

Tears are already rolling down her cheeks before Tsu can stop them. Xanxus looked at her face and said nothing. He too has noticed the blackened roots. It is a terrible thing, to have your domain corrupted by something you don't quite understand. Worse still, you don't know how to fix the problem.

Hayato has noticed her crying at this point. He offered her words meant to be comforting, despite his own fear. "It's alright, Milady. It's alright." She hears Hayato saying from below.

Tsu is a princess. She mustn't cry in the open like this. But down here, in the land of the dead, some tears are allowed to be shed.

Tsu has no idea how much time has passed when they finally reach the bottom. Her tears have dried up by that point. Xanxus decided to take it slow so he can get used to the ability he just regained. It is a strange experience, to move so slowly in the air. Hayato touched the ground first, then Xanxus. She is still clinging onto him.

They are not alone.

Skeletons dressed in rags surround them. Mortals. Tsu would know if they are dead gods. She has this feeling that she would. Hayato pull out his weapon. Tsu wonders the wisdom in it. How can you kill something that is already dead? The dead make no move at the sight of the sword. Can they still even see?

Xanxus unbinds the rope that keeps her and Hayato tethered to him. The moment Tsu's feet touch the ground, Xanxus steps forward. He doesn't reach for his weapon. He simply stared at the crowd.

None of them make a move or sound.

Tsu wonders if the god of war has some semblance of control over death. There are always casualties in war. It makes sense to her.

Hayato moves next to her. He looks ready to grab her and make a run for it if the dead do anything.

Xanxus reaches out for the skeleton at the forefront row. He pokes the exposed shoulder blade.

No reaction.

Xanxus carefully turns his body around, careful not to show his back, and face the youths. "We should set up camp. Do not wander too far. No putting anything inside your mouth that is not from the surface. Let's go."

Xanxus takes another step forward. Then another. And another. The dead parted before him. Tsu and Hayato follow closely behind. Hayato hasn't put away his weapon just yet. He eyes the horde with fear disguised as suspicion.

Tsu thought that would be the end of it until she heard them trail after them. It is the most bizarre experience Tsu ever has. One of the most bizarre. Tsu quickly rectified her mind. A godless land is the most bizarre of them all.

Her girls are glad to be able to stretch their wings after hours stuck in the backpack. They fly overhead but never too far. Their group eventually stumble upon a river where the water runs black. Equally black withered trees stood along the river banks. Xanxus don't need to tell them to not touch the water. Even when her throat is parched from thirst, Tsu knows better than to drink from this river.

Xanxus put down his backpack on the ground. The sound snapped Tsu out from her reverie. "We'll set up camp here." He already pulled out beans for the girls. Tsu and Hayato receive a strip of dried meat each.

Hayato looked down at his share before glancing at Xanxus. "What about you?"

"I'm a god," Xanxus snaps his finger and a ball of fire appears out of thin air. "My mother named me Xanxus. Now eat. Then go to sleep."

Awe-stricken and hungry, Hayato obediently bite onto his meat.

They all sit around the magical camp fire. Tsu focused on her meat, determined not to look or even think of her poor apple trees. There have been enough tears shed in one day. Too much has happened in one day.

Hayato curled up next to her. Sleep claims him the next second. The nymphs too have fallen asleep. It took her longer to go to sleep. The dead are still there. Watching them. Waiting. Xanxus doesn't need sleep. You can't ask for a better guard to watch your back. Especially here in the Underworld.

In the end, it was the flickers of Xanxus's flame that lull her to slumber.

The nymphs woke up first. Hayato next. Tsu is the last one to wake up. The Underworld is still grey. The dead are still standing there. The roots are still black. The contrast is too great to ignore. From the gold basked heaven to the green earth and finally the grim grey Underworld.

What lies beyond death? What comes after finality?

That is not what they are here for but Tsu won't be surprised if that is where they ended up.

A forgotten god, a goddess turned mortal, a not fully mortal and nymphs turned birds band together to seek the Underworld. A land where not even the gods up above the clouds know.

Anything is possible down here.

(She tries not to think about the future, the promise of it, drawn from the lips of a triad of sisters.)

Hayato has calmed down considerably. He is just quiet now. But his eyes are clear. 'They are the only green down here,' Tsu thought as Hayato studied the dead. They didn't move an inch while their little group rested.

Xanxus announced during mealtime that he will scout the area. He took two doves with him and flew away. The dead won't do anything. They know that. Dead mortals that is.

So what about the dead gods?

They had not talked about the next course of action. The Underworld has too many unknowns. The best strategy is to simply roll with it. Right now, Xanxus is their best bet. Should it come down to it, they can fly back to the hole they whence came from. At least they have an exit strategy now.

Not unexpectedly, Hayato breaks the silence with a question. "Are you like me?" Green eyes look at her with hope and wonder. "You are related to Lord Xanxus, aren't you? You told me that you two are related. So one of your parents- or maybe a grandparent- is a god."

Tsu looks at him, careful not to say anything. Not yet.

Hayato's voice dropped to a whisper but Tsu heard it anyway. "My mother caught the eye of the storm god." He doesn't elaborate on that. He doesn't need to. "The blight put our kingdom in danger. We were on our wits' end. Then someone had the bright idea to sacrifice my mother to the storm god. He was fond of her, once upon a time. Maybe her blood on the altar will make him weep and bring down the rain."

That's not how it actually works, but Tsu knows better than to say it.

"The sun shined so brightly it hurts. I remember. They had the sense to send me away before they could carry on their plan. A bogus story about a man-eating bear. By the time I realised it was a ruse, it was already too late."

Tsu reached for his hand. Hayato gladly holds onto it. You can hear the pain in his voice but he remains calm.

"I never saw the body. They already buried her when I got back. I think it's best that I didn't see it. I would have done something reckless."

Tsu can't stop herself, "More reckless than going down to the Underworld?"

Hayato blushed. He is quick to recover though. "And you are down here with me."

Tsu smiles. "Touche."

Hayato smiled back. Then his expression turned sombre. "Now that we are down here… I just realised that I have no way of knowing which one is my mother. Not when they all look like that." They both sneak a glance at the crowd. They didn't even move when Xanxus flew away. Hayato turned to look at her. "I don't know if I should bring her back anymore. The world above is full of chaos. What if they decided to make her a sacrifice again? Down here, the sun won't reach her. No hunger. No cold. No pain… Only..." He falters.

"Silence," Tsu offered.

"Yes," Hayato cast his green eyes over the horizon. "Silence. This place is blissful in its own way."

She can see that. There are no gods down here to interfere with mortal affairs. Because there are none. The Underworld is a refuge of sorts. Hayato will stay here someday. Not today. One day.

She and Xanxus might share the same fate. They know nothing of what became of immortals who died now don't they?

The laws of the gods and mortals are clear. They are not always fair. They can be twisted if you know how. What of the Underworld then? The laws of the Underworld are shrouded with mystery just like the entire place is. Xanxus warned them to not consume anything that is not from the surface. Everything in this place is binding. That is the one and only rule that they know of. The only rule that matters, really.

They broke so many conventions already with their descent. No mortals should walk upon the land of the dead. The living is never able to ignore their wants. They twisted so many things already. It's best not to push their luck. Tsu looked into Hayato's eyes, green among grey and black, and saw nothing but truth.

There will be no lies down here. Only truths. And truth I shall give him.

"My name is Tsu," It felt good to be able to tell him her true name. "Those are mine." She points to the black roots. "I was tasked to take care of it. I tried my best, but without knowing the reason they turned black in the first place, there is only so much I can do. The same person who appointed me sentenced me to death. I survived because of a dear friend. He not only saved me. He saved the girls too." Tsu picks up Haru and places her on her shoulder. "...And he paid dearly for that."

Tsu saw his eyes widen.

"He was casted off from the Heavens, just like I did. Only he ended up in a completely different place." Tsu pat the ground between them. "Or so we believe. There are not a lot of places that can hold a sun god."

"Reborn," Hayato whispered in awe. Then his jaw tightens. "Is that why the sun-"

"They appointed someone new. Two people actually. A brother and sister. Ryohei and Kyoko. They are not Reborn, but they are the only ones left who can control the sun." Tsu absentmindedly stroke Haru's wing.

It did not take a genius to think that everything went downhill from the moment Tsu was brought to trial. Reborn is punished from helping her. His task is then given to Ryohei and Kyouko. Their inexperience made the mortal world suffer. Hayato's mother died as the result, so are thousands of others.

Hayato is now looking at her as if this is his first time seeing her. It's not off the mark. Tsu and Xanxus had omitted the truth from him right from the start.

"For what it's worth, I'm not a goddess anymore," Tsu shrugged her shoulders. "No gifts. No magic. Nothing. I am as mortal as you are."

Tsu knows everything there is to know about measure. A basketful of apples. A cupful of nectar and not a drop less. Cast your eyes low enough so no one can catch them. Adjust your shawl so it'll cover your arms but not the fingertips. Keep your chin high. Don't raise your voice. You are still a descendant of the sky gods. Don't beg. Don't beg. Don't beg.

"I puked on a goddess," Hayato says in a low voice. "I puked on a goddess!"

Hayato threw himself to the ground. His forehead made contact to the floor with a loud THUD. "I have been incredibly rude towards you!"

"Hayato, look at me," Tsu says calmly. The boy reluctantly looked up to her. Green eyes shining with fear and regret. "You were sick and on the verge of dying. You are under our protection. One's vomit is not necessarily a violation of the hospitality rules. We lied to you from the beginning. None of this is your fault." It is ours. The gods started all this. "You did nothing wrong."

Hayato spluttered. The gods aren't known for their mercy.

"Xanxus is my kin. That part is no lie," Tsu continues. "He is a war god, Giant slayer and the only family member who hasn't tried to kill me so far."

Hayato made a face at the last bit. "I never heard of him before."

"You wouldn't. He was on the losing side of the last war of the gods," Xanxus can explain the war better than she could. "He was imprisoned in the mortal world until recently. I found him. Freed him. I look after him and he looks after me."

"That's great," Hayato says with emotion. "So- Um… You two are here for the roots?"

"It's not just that. Xanxus and I are looking for his comrades. My Reborn. We need allies for the upcoming war."

Hayato paled at the mention of war. "The Fates said that a conflict is coming. They said that I will take part in it. I know how to fight but war..."

Tsu touched his cheek. "I'm scared too," She admitted. "But a war is coming. The Fates said that we all have our parts to play but they never said that you must participate in battle. A war is not just about two people exchanging blows. War is more than that. Half the time it is a matter of survival, Xanxus told me. Maybe you are meant to see through the war. To witness it and pass down the memory to the next generation."

Hayato's parlour is less white now. "What about you?"

"I am at the centre at it, Hayato. I can't run from it." She considers it for a moment. "I won't run from it."

Anxiety makes one hell of a motivation.

Between Xanxus's absence, the limited water and food, the dead watching them and sheer boredom, it doesn't take long for Hayato and Tsu to get antsy.

Hayato and Tsu don't dare to take out the waterskin or the meat again. They are yet to be terribly hungry or thirsty, but it is only a matter of time before their mortal bodies demand substance. Without Xanxus here to keep an eye on them, it is up to themselves to keep each other in check.

The doves fly in circles above them. This is a chance for them to stretch their wings while keeping an eye for possible threat at the same time. They can't keep it up for long though. The doves must preserve their energy.

"I am going to investigate the river," Tsu announced. Her legs felt heavy from sitting for too long.

Hayato cast an uneasy look at the black water running in the distance. "Lord Xanxus-"

"He said not to drink the water. I won't. I just want to take a closer look."

Hayato opens his mouth, then closes it. "If that is what Milady wants..."

The dead don't trail after them as they walk away from the camp. They simply stared. Tsu wonders what goes through their mind.

Tsu and Hayato stopped a few feet away from the bank. The black water looked even more ominous this close. It's impossible to see what is underneath the current. No signs of anything adrift either. No leaves or wood. Nothing.

Tsu turns her attention to the surrounding trees. They are not apple trees, she can tell that much. The wood has long been petrified. This doesn't make any sense. These trees are dead but they were living creatures at one point. Her apple roots go reach all the way down to the Underworld. That implies that the Underworld was not always devoid of life.

What in the world happened?

"...I think we've seen enough," Hayato's voice brings her back to the present. "There is nothing here." Nothing that can help us.

"Wait," Tsu grabs Hayato by the wrist. "What is that?" She pointed to the water.

Something is… moving?

There's something in the water!

Tsu stepped forward so she could take a closer look but then Hayato grabbed her by the arm.

"You mustn't," Hayato shook his head. "It's dangerous."

"The more reason why we must learn more of it," Tsu wrench her arm free and pick up her skirts.

She hears Hayato calling out her name but Tsu already made up her mind.

Tsu stops right before the river bank. It is close enough for her to dip her toe into the water if she wanted to. She wouldn't do that of course. Tsu looked into the water once more.

There is something in the water. Whatever it is, it's not a person. It is some sort of animal, from the looks of it. It has limbs so it couldn't possibly be a fish. The creature swims its way to the shore but for some reason is unable to reach. The water itself moves to sweep it away and the poor creature can't fight it.

Tsu takes pity on it.

She looks around for any object that can help her. Luckily for her a rather long branch had fallen off from its tree. Tsu picked it up. The helpless creature is still stuck on the same spot when Tsu returns. She extended the branch. It is thankfully long enough to reach the creature.

'A frog,' Tsu realises as she watches the small animal clamber over the branch.

"My Lady!" Hayato tugged her from behind. Tsu drops the branch she's holding in surprise. Thankfully it fell to the ground instead of the water. "What have you done?!"

"It's just a frog, Hayato," Tsu points to the small creature crawling on the ground. Its skin is a shade of purple so dark it's almost black, with white marking over its body. "Don't you feel sorry for it?"

"The water is trying to keep it in," Hayato hissed the last word. "We don't know if it's a real frog!"

"It's alive! This is an important clue-"

"We must put it back-"

"No!"

"It's dangerous!"

"You're afraid of a frog?"

"In this place? Yes!"

"What are you two brats arguing about?"

Tsu and Hayato turn around to see Xanxus standing before them, arms crossed, a dove on each shoulder. "Well?" Xanxus says when neither speak up. "We don't have all day."

Hayato points at the frog.

Xanxus looked to the direction he pointed at. Tsu sees his eyes widened.

"Mammon?"

Originally I want to cover the entire Underworld plot in one chapter but there are too many points to cover. So I have no choice but to break it down.

Thank you for reading

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