July 5th

( x ) Pirate AU

( ) Laughing

( ) Angst

Raising the Red Flag

"People loved our last year show. Let's repeat that."

"But this time with the girls in short maid…" Jiro used her ear jack to fry Mineta before he could finish the phrase.

"I don't know. People may want some unique things."

"We may need to change" said Kirishima, showing his phone with an image of Tetsutetsu. "I just received a textutextu. Monoma convinced everybody at 1-B to put on a rock show to prove they are better than us."

"So, let's pay those morons in the same coin." Blustered Bakugou. "Let's make a play."

"Right. About what?" asked Iida.

"How about an historic event?" came an exited Ashido.

"That's a good idea" started to mumble-talk Midoryia "there's tons of good hero stories available, and we can even educate the population by showing the most obscure pioneers of hero age, how the first laws evolved and…"

"No offense, Midoryia, I was thinking about something else." Ashido cut "The Pirate Queen…"

"Shing A-Shih-do. Captain Shing A-Shih-do" Tokoyami and Tshinsou, ship captains entered her private office. "Our men got the route of the new merchant ships next month."

"Good." The pirate queen looked at the maps. "That point here is perfect for an ambush. We can hide our ships behind these islets until the time to strike."

"We can easily hide five, six ships that way." Said Tokoyami. "A revelry in the darkness for the merchants."

"…right. What do we do with the remaining 1,794 ships of our fleet?" asked second-in-command Cheung Po Tshinsou.

"… we'll need more islets."

Emperor J-Iida-qing was pacing back and forth.

"We need to find a way to end the rule of terror of the Pirate Queen."

"Indeed. I used to like her more when she just ran that brothel." Advisor Mineta started to drool "Brothel, brothel…"

"Advisor Mineta! Focus. The point is she already defeated the best captains of the Empire…" the Emperor chopped the air to emphasis his point.

"Exactly. The best of our empire, ribbit."

"What do you mean, advisor Asui?"

"Morons! Of course the whole Chinese Empire would fail. We will send that darn Red Flag Fleet of A-Shih-do to the bottom of the sea!" Commander José A-Bakug-ado e Souza was shouting, one hand trying to hold the large fake mustache in place "And they will know why the Portuguese are the real rulers of the sea!"

"So manly!" said to himself also properly mustache-d Captain Kirishima "At any rate, I sent agent Kaminari to Macau to gather more info about those pirates."

"Pirates?" growled A-Bakug-ado e Souza. "More like Duck-billed Platypuses!... Jellied eels!... Bashi-Bazouks!... Anthropophagus!... Cercopithecus!... Psychopaths!"

"Uh… Kacchan…" Director Midoriya was bushing "Try not acting like Captain Haddock from Tintin in this scene… it's distracting."

"And who is acting, you nincompoop Deku?! You dunderheaded artichoke!... bougainvillain!... macrocephalic baboon!..."

Po Tshinsou walked through the busy streets of Macau. He took with him a handful of men to get supplies to a tiny portion of the troops, for getting food for all 80,000 sailors, captains and other personal under A-Shih-do at once would deplete any city of resources. Even so, fame travels far and people try to steer clear from them. He gave a couple of orders before entering a tavern and asking a drink.

After some minutes, o foreign blonde approached.

"I am looking for work."

From nowhere, two pirates grabbed him and a third approached a knife to his throat.

"… p-please?"

"And what do you have to offer?" asked Po Tshinsou

The blonde smiled and, with a quick move, hit the knife-welding pirate between the legs. Then he twisted his body, bringing the pirate holding his right arm closer and –

And in seconds one of the pirates was twisting his arm on his back, while his head was being pressed hard against Po Tshinsou's table.

"Something other than ruthless stupidity?"

"owwwwwe-mmmfppph."

"Sato, let him go. I think he is cut…cool. Cooled down. I think he cooled down."

"Wait until you see me without this mustache." Said the blonde, as soon as the pirate eased the pression. Director Midoriya hit his own head several times with the script clipboard, but decided not to say a thing. Po Tshinsou raised an eyebrow but didn't changed his tired expression.

"As I was saying, I am Manoel Kaminari, from Trás-os-Montes, Portugal. I sailed a lot, learned from the best and I am great at the helm."

"I may be looking for a coxswain."

Kaminari threw a kiss to the audience.

"Good night, everyone. Say goodbye to the 'T' rating."

"Steersman. I may be looking for a steersman." Po Tshinsou took a sip from his drink. "If what you say is true. Tell me more about yourself."

They talked more than two hours in the tavern, somehow forgetting about respective missions, and exited together, just the two of them. It was the clue to be surrounded by…

"Assassins sent by Emperor J-Iida-qing"

"What?" Kaminari assumed a defense position "But this area is under the rule of the Portuguese Crown."

"Do they seem to care about geopolitics? Hope you fight better than you show inside."

Swords clashed, fists flew, Manoel Kaminari and Po Tshinsou helped each other several times until they emerged victorious.

"You may not be so useless, Kaminari." Po Tshinsou wrote something "Meet me at this place in three days. We'll find something for you to do."

That night, Kaminari meet the Portuguese courier at his inn, both hugging for a long time.

"I made contact with Po Tshinsou himself. He's an… intense man."

"Good" said Joaquim Sero. "That's why you seem distressed, babe?"

"No… no… I don't know. I feel... confused."

"Need more tape for your mustache?"

"No, I… I… think I need another hug."

Marching to his ship, Po Tshinsou was not in better condition.

"Have you ever… questioned A-Shih-do laws, Tokoyami?"

"I tend to like my head over my shoulders to do so. But which one you are talking about?"

"The ones about… love."

"Like the one about a sailor who forces themselves to another is beheaded?"

"No, like… consensual love."

"Then both are beheaded. A-Shih-do doesn't like distractions on duty."

"I know. I know."

Joaquim Sero arrived at the Portuguese armada port, near their two main ships, the "Unbreakable" and other, with the names "Lady Explosion Murder" and "Explodo-kill Angel" striked out and a sailor painting "Going Angry" as a new moniker. Its figure head was missing.

Because he was shouting at the director.

"No, mon ami. First, I am a disco ball. Now I am a figurehead? C'est outrageous. I can't stand…"

Midoriya tried to reason

"Aoyama… can't we just go on with the rehearsal? We're behind…"

"Hey, you darn extras!" shouted the Portuguese Commander. "Can we go on?"

"See? Extra. That's exactly what…"

"Everybody at their marks or I will Detroit Smash everything!"

"Commander A-Bakug-ado e Souza?" Irishima approached. "Joaquim Sero is back with news."

"Spill it out!"

"Kaminari was recruited by the Red Flag fleet, but… he seemed… odd."

"Odd, how?" asked Kirishima.

"Well, he wanted hugs and such at one second, and in the other, was distant, and when I tried…"

"See if I care! And the A-Shih-do information?"

"Here, Commander." Sighed Sero, passing him a paper.

Kaminari looked at it.

"That's close to Pearl River Delta. Or, as we call it…"

"The Tiger Mouth." A-Bakug-ado grinned ear to ear "The perfect battle arena." And started to shout "Prepare to set sails, your morons! I want cannons over my cannons. If there's no torpedoes at this era, someone invent them, because I need plenty!"

Back at the Red Flag pirates hide-out, A-shih-do was finishing a meeting with her higher staff.

"So we have our plans, ladies and gentlemen, I will lead the merchant raid, Po Tshidou will hand the rest of the fleet. Dismissed. But you, Po. I need a word with you."

"Oh captain, my captain?"

"You arrived late to the meeting, and was a bit airhead during the whole time. And I heard you are spending a lot of time with that new Portuguese guy."

"Sorry, A-Shih-do. Lots to take care and…"

"I see. Don't have too much things on your head, Po Tshidou."

"I won't."

"It would be heavier for me to lift after cutting it. You know the rules."

"I… do. Excuse me, captain."

Later that night, Kaminari and Po were sitting on a roof, holding hands.

"So, you are telling me we may have each other hearts, but A-Shih-do will have our heads."

"Basically, my loving Portuguese. But… I don't think I care."

"Aaaaawww. Silly Chinese."

A brief and heavy silence follows

"I also have a secret I must tell you."

"Hmmmm?"

"I love you, Po, but… I have another boyfriend."

"What?!" Po Tshinsou started to move away.

"Wait, we can make it work. I promise."

"Great, just great." He gave Kaminari a stern look "anything else you are not telling me?"

Kaminari fidgeted his fingers for a while, before opening a shy smile

"I… also have another job?"

Days later, the powerful Portuguese armada approached the pirates' hideout, A-Bakug-ado e Souza's ship, now labeled "Thousand Sunk", ahead

"Let's corner then at the Tiger Mouth, your landgrubber extras, and drown every single pirate! Women and children first!"

"And Kaminari!" urged Sero "We must rescue Kaminari."

"And let's rescue Kaminari" added A-Bakug-ado e Souza, to Sero's relief "No matter in how many pieces!" Sero almost swallowed his mustache.

Kaminari was at a cell on the pirates' hideout, more heartbroken than worried for his life, when the door swung open.

"The Portuguese are coming." Said Po Tshinsou "Use the chaos to run away."

"How about you?"

"I have… my duties."

"I will not leave without you."

"You have that other boyfriend."

"I want… need you both."

Po Tshinsou hugged the other for a moment.

"Maybe in another life… another situation… this could work. In this world of ours… sorry, babe." He pushed the other away gently. "I have to board."

"Take me! They will not hit you with a hostage on board."

"I would never put you in danger. Goodbye. We had our couple of days."

"Po Tshinsou!"

But he was already gone.

Po Tshinsou tried to focus in the battle. Without A-Shih-do leadership, they were being pushed to the Tiger Mouth, a natural trap they could not escape. It took all his might to not think about Kaminari. He hoped he made it. He was not sure he would survive himself, but he wanted the blonde safe.

Meanwhile, Kaminari managed to rush away and board a Portuguese boat.

"Commander!" he urged "Take me to Commander A-Bakug-ado e Souza's ship."

Once inside, Sero rushed hug his boyfriend.

"Manoel, babe."

"Not now. We must save him."

"Who?"

The captain was on top of a cannon, ordering it to fire again. That was a clear victory for them. Just a bit more and a big part o the Red Flag Pirates fleet would be at the bottom of that bay.

"Captain!"

"Ah, Kaminari, the one I want to see. Tell me, with one is Po Tshinsou's ship?"

He thought fast

"T-that one!"

From his side, Po Tshinsou saw the Portuguese do a strange maneuver, circling a less important vessel of the pirates, leaving…

"We have an opening, Captain!"

"Quick, Uraraka. Signal the rest of fleet to escape through it!" and, in a lower voice "Thank you, Kaminari. I will miss you."

"First-mate Kirishima helped me convince Captain A-Bakug-ado e Souza it was just a genuine mistake, Manuel." Sero went to Kaminari, who was immobile for hours, watching the sea. "You are free from punishment." He didn't answer.

Sero pressed

"Hey, babe, what's wrong?"

Kaminari sighed before answering, holding Sero's hand firmly.

"I am sad, babe, because other half of my life is somewhere there, at the sea."

And half-smiled.

"And I am happy because other half of my life is somewhere there, at the sea."

Midoriya looked at the script.

"Yes… thanks, everyone, I think we have… something."

"What?!" Mineta complained "I was promised an epilogue at the broth-" Tsuiu, tongue slapped him hard, shutting him.