First fanfic that I've ever written, so it's probably not top-notch quality.


Peter, Natasha, and Carol were walking down the hall to the Avenger's lounging room. Carol and Natasha couldn't stop giggling while Peter was stuck with a light blush on his face.

They had just come back from a mission in deep space. Since the deal with Thanos, the Avengers and Earth became much more involved in interplanetary and inter-species politics, with the Avengers often helping other planets work together to repair the damages that the snap caused.

To Peter's surprise and utter embarrassment, he ran into an old female friend during a political meeting and now wished that he had an infinity gauntlet that he could snap himself with.

"Guys, can you please not tell the rest of the team about what happened?", Peter requested—borderline begging.

"Yeah, sure, Pete. We promise that we won't tell anyone. Right, Carol?", Natasha winked at her.

"Yup. Your secret is safe with us." Carol affirmed while giggling.

Peter already knew that something was up, but he didn't want to be rude by pushing them further, so he decided to just trust them and let out a sigh.

When they walked into the room, everyone in the Avengers roster were present.

Perfect. Carol and Natasha thought with a smile.

Tony was the first to greet the trio. "Hey guys. How was space, kid?"

However, before Peter could respond, Carol quickly cut in and spoke loudly with a huge smile that Natasha also shared.

"Someone figured out his secret identity, and you will not believe how it happened!" Carol announced with a laugh.

"OH, COME ON!", Peter yelled with a groan.

Tony looked to Peter, seeing that he was obviously in distress and was strangely blushing. "Wait, what happened?"

"Noth—" Peter began to speak before Natasha interrupted and spoke quickly.

"One of the female Incentaurians recognized him while he was in costume by his big butt!"

"I do not have a—"

Carol interrupted him and continued the story. "She said 'I'd recognize those pouty lips and that big round butt in any corner of the universe'!"

At this, literally everyone else in the room began to laugh their collective asses off (especially Tony, who was rolling on the floor and could barely breathe due to laughter). Even Steve, the one who was usually the quietest, couldn't hold in his immense laughter. Carol and Natasha of course joined them while Peter only groaned in frustration.

"I hate you guys… I'm going to my room." He said as he walked away before Carol hovered over to him and grabbed him by his shoulders to pull him away.

"Oh, no you aren't, mister. You're going to finish the story with us."

Peter only groaned further, knowing that he'd be in trouble if he broke the floor in preventing her from pulling him towards the group.

Tony had to have help with getting off of the floor and was still laughing on the large couch before he spoke up—going along with everyone to tease the youngest member of the Avengers that most of them thought of as either a teenage son, little brother, or a close friend.

"So, kid, do you want to tell us about your alien girlfriend?"

"Does it look like I want to talk about it? And she's not my girlfriend; it was a one-time thing!"

"Not if she has her way about it." Natasha said with a playful smirk.

"Oh, is that right?" Pepper teasingly asked with a raised eyebrow.

To this, Natasha replied with "She said 'next time you find yourself on this side of the galaxy, call me. That was the best night of my life' before giving him her FTL communicator number and winking at him."

"Guess he found a BOOTY call, huh?" Sam joked—bringing more laughter from everyone in the except for Peter, who couldn't bring his hands from his face without his blush practically glowing to everyone.

Seeing Peter's evident discomfort, Steve spoke up to everyone "Hey, guys, I think that we've teased him enou—"

"Shut it, spangled sprinkles. My surrogate boy just brought some prideful joy to this old man's heart. He's getting a new car. No buts", Tony said—seeing his younger self in Peter.

"I think that you're wrong about that 'no BUTTS' part, Tony", Carol spoke up, which everyone laughed at.

"You know what's even better?" Carol asked everyone. "You guys know Yondu Udonta, right? Quill's surrogate father."

To this, everyone nodded their heads.

"The girl that he hooked up with was actually Els Udonta—Yondu's younger sister."

"No. Freaking. Way." Scott responded while everyone began laughing harder.

"Wait. You're telling me that I slept with someone that's essentially Quill's Aunt?"

"Yup. She's only in her late 20s, though."

"I'm SO telling Quill!", Tony jokingly exclaimed with a laugh.

"If you do, then I'm going to rip apart every one of your suits", Peter threatened.

"You're no fun. Fine, but I'm going to be dropping hints like crazy", Tony stated before Peter gave him a look that scared him much worse than Thanos ever could. "Okay, mouth shut; I'm not saying a word."

"Ahhh, that was fun. Don't you agree, Natasha?" Carol asked while nudging her shoulder with her elbow.

"You bet. We'll have to find another thing to embarrass him about."

"Ugh. You guys are the worst best friends in history", Peter jokingly said but with some annoyance in his voice.

"I think that you should officially upgrade us to wingwomen. Not that you'd really need any, though with that universally recognizable butt", Natasha replied.

"Alright, screw you guys; I'm going to my room", Peter said while jokingly giving them the finger.

I really hate my life sometimes. Peter thought with a sigh as he walked to his room.

"We should probably apologize to him in the morning", Natasha spoke through her laughs.

"Yeah. I got the whole thing on video, though, so it was totally worth it!" Carol replied with a laugh before her and Natasha sat down with the others to converse with everyone else.

Little did everyone know—Peter would indeed secretly meet up with her a few more times in the future when he went to space.