Crime never rested. Neither did the Hunts-Man.

Which was odd because people who didn't work actual jobs were usually lazy. Criminals were people who took shortcuts to get through life instead of working hard. However, Roman Torchwick and his sidekick Neo were anything but lazy. Honestly if they put their minds to it they could probably run a very successful business, but instead were content with stealing dust. No matter, however. That just gave Jaune purpose in life. An arch foe to face. Job security.

Tonight he would secure that job hard.

The Hunts-Man crashed through the skylight window of the warehouse, using Gambol Shroud's ribbon to slow his descent down onto the floor. He landed with the grace of Glynda Goodwitch on the business end of a scroll sex hotline, that being awkward, uncomfortable and forced. No matter, however. He had made it just in time to catch his arch foes in the act, like the time he accidentally walked in on Nora alone in their dorm room with that body pillow featuring Ren's image printed on it. The similes were beginning to make Jaune's head hurt now, so he decided to stop with them and just get to the point.

In front of him were the familiar forms of Roman and Neo, the former lazily sitting atop a mountain of crates filled with precious Schnee Dust.

"Back at it again, I see," he stated in his low, gruff, manly, gravelly Hunts-Man voice. "I see you didn't learn your lesson after our last encounter."

"Learn? Hah!" the villain laughed. "Learning is for school, and school is for no-good do-gooders such as yourself. I bet you go to school, don't you, Hunts-Man?"

Jaune growled, uttering a curse under his breath. Roman had him there. He did indeed attend Beacon Academy. Did that make him decidedly uncool? One look at Roman showed that the man was indeed cool. Chomping on a cigar with a dapper bowler hat on his head and twirling a cane, he was the epitome of style and class. And he made smoking look really cool. Jaune's young and impressionable teenage mind was tempted into taking up tobacco so he could try and emulate the well-dressed street ruffian.

It was true what they said. You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

No, he would never succumb to crime! He was the Hunts-Man! A defender of all that was good and just, protecting the innocent with an arsenal of stolen weapons from his friends. Or as he liked to call it, secret borrowing. It wasn't like Team RWBY went out on unsanctioned missions on random nights and would need their weapons. Nah, they liked to sit at Beacon and do nothing. No extracurricular activities. No painting the town. And certainly no combating breaches. Jaune was certain there would be no negative consequences to his secret borrowing whatsoever.

Deploying Ember Celica, Jaune raised his arms in preparation for combat. "Laugh all you want, but a good education is no joke. Studies have shown that those with a college degree earn over one million lien more in their lifetime than those without one. I bet you feel quite foolish now, sitting on untold millions of lien in stolen property when you could have earned it like the rest of us."

"Enough of you and your soap box," Roman said, jumping down from the crate of dust he had been sitting on. "Let's just get to the point already. All this filler is boring me."

Jaune couldn't agree more. It was time to get to the meat of this encounter. He cocked back his arm in preparation to fire Yang's shotgun gauntlet, but was interrupted before he could shoot.

From the hole in the skylight he had created, another person descended down and hit the floor with a stylish roll. It was none other than the Red Huntress who had just cock blocked him!

"Need a hand?" the mysterious redheaded girl asked.

Jaune's eyes narrowed on the new arrival. "I see how it is. You knew your little buddy Roman couldn't handle me on his own, and had to come running to his rescue. Your lack of professional super hero courtesy never fails to disgust me."

The elusive villainess' jaw dropped, and her hands came up in protest. "What? No. I was offering to help you."

Help him? Why would a dastardly super villain like the Red Huntress want to help him? What was this, some sort of strange team up story where a hero and a villain have to work together in order to defeat a more powerful foe?

Jaune bit back another curse. If this was the team up issue, then he would just have to make the best of it. "Fine, just try not to get in my way. You go after the-"

He never got a chance to finish before the Red Huntress blew past him with amazing speed, and a familiar looking blade was unleashed on the surprised Roman Torchwick. That was... that was Pyrrha's sword! That good for nothing Red Huntress had stolen from his partner and best friend! After this team up there would be serious consequences for the dastardly villainess.

Seeing how his primary foe was engaged already, Jaune set his sights on Neo. "Well, I guess that just leaves you and me," he told her. "Prepare to be defeated, Neo."

A casual roll of her eyes told him that Neo was unimpressed. Oh she would be impressed. Switching out weapons faster than Velvet Scarletina, Jaune produced Weiss' elegant rapier and dashed toward the waiting woman.

A swift thrust later Jaune had missed his mark, and found his arm incapacitated by the incredibly stacked short stack. Myrtenaster clattered to the floor, and Jaune swore when he realized his mistake. By choosing Weiss' weapon he had ensured that he would never win a one versus one fight. Such was the fate of Weiss Schnee and all who emulated her.

He swung around to try and catch Neo by surprise with a point blank blast to the face courtesy of Ember Celica. Surely this would work, right? There was no way that Yang's weapon would also be ineffective against Neo.

Before he could even get a shot off, he found his head wrapped in tiny but powerful legs, and in a flash brought him low with a perfectly executed headscissor takedown. He hit the ground hard, or would have if not for the cushioning pillows that were Neo's thighs.

Things were looking bad for the Hunts-Man.

What a complete and utter fool. Why this teenager was running around playing super hero, she couldn't say. But at least now it would finally be over. She and Roman would finally be free of this idiocy, and they could get back to doing what was important in life. Making money and living lavishly.

Neo had her chosen opponent firmly locked in her legs, squeezing down and preventing him from being able to escape. After all the grief and stupidity he had put her though, she decided to make this as drawn out and painful as possible. The boy would panic. He would struggle. He would beg and plead to be released from her crushing thighs as they clamped down on his skull like a vice grip. And then she would twist in one fluid motion, snapping his neck and killing him. There wouldn't be a more satisfying sound in all of Remnant than his cracking vertebrae.

A wicked grin curled on her lips as the boy's hands came upon her legs. Yes, he was struggling. Writhing in pain as he sought to escape her clutches. However, there would be no escape, little Hunts-Man. This was his end. His final battle. The last time he dared to interfere in her and Roman's nefarious plans.

"Don't worry!" the muffled sounds of his voice called out. "I got this!"

Wait, what?

He should be crying. Begging for mercy. Fighting tooth and nail to try and unlock her legs from around his head. And yet...

"This all you got?" he challenged her. "Tighter!"

A set of pink and brown eyes widened. Was he... enjoying this?

Only now did it dawn on Neo just what kind position the Hunts-Man found himself in. Her leg takedown had indeed forced his head in between her thighs, but in the adrenaline of the moment and anticipation of the kill, she had failed to recognize or care that the boy's face was stuffed directly into her... lady region.

Neo panicked now, decided to try and end this before the boy could gain any further sick pleasure from his position. With a twist of her hips she sought to break his neck. There was only one problem.

Her hips wouldn't budge.

Again and again Neo tried to end his life, but to no avail. Her body simply would not respond to her mind's orders. Something was holding her back. Holding her in place. Not allowing her to bend and move freely. His hands. His hands were clamped down on her legs as tight as her legs were on his head.

Neo sought to release the boy from her grip in order to escape and regroup. Again she found herself stuck in place, incapable of separating her body from the Hunts-Man's head. She was being held in place by him now rather than the other way around. The captor had become the captive.

Tiny fists began to wail ineffectively on the stupidly thick skull of her foe. Was this his plan all along? To use his stupid strength to capture her? To lull her into a false sense of security before using his superior size to his advantage? He was no Mountain and she was no Red Viper! It would not end this way!

"Getting desperate now, I see!" he laughed. "So how's it feel to be on the receiving end for a change!"

The words sent a shiver through her body. Though not for any reason she ever would have expected. Every time the boy spoke, his lips brushed against her lips...

Neo continued to squirm and buck. Only every time she moved, her womanhood ground against the boy's face.

Oh no...

He had woken the dragon.

Desperate breathing turned to labored gasps for an entirely different reason now. It wasn't helping that her foe was continuing to taunt her. And every time he did, his mouth stimulated her more and more.

"So long as I have you trapped here, your partner Roman doesn't stand a chance!" he taunted her. "Sacrifice is a cornerstone of the hero's journey, so if I must sacrifice myself to buy the Red Huntress time, I will do what I must!"

It felt so good. Why did it have to feel so good! Why did this blithering idiot's mouth feel so good on her babymaker every time he spoke!

Screw sacrifice. Screw the Red Huntress. And Screw Roman. And most important... screw him. Literally! Just keep talking! Keep going! ...did she really just think that? This was bad. This was so bad.

But bad never felt so good before.

Ragged breaths continued to slip through Neo's mouth as all thoughts of escape or release left her. No, there was only one release that she cared for now. The sweet release of pent up desire that she was only used to taking care of herself. Now she found herself with a brand new toy, and he was doing an admirable job of taking care of her needs.

"I see you're trying to drown me now, nefarious fiend!" the boy accused. "Is that your mysterious Semblance that no one seems to be able to identify, Neo? Creating water? And here I incorrectly assumed it was teleportation because of observational theories!"

If the boy happened to drown down there, then so be it. Just get the job done first, Hunts-Man. Almost there. Almost there. Just keep talking you blond, loudmouth idiot.

The silent gasps and moans were completely out of her control now, and the fact that she was getting off on a warehouse floor in front of her boss and another stranger didn't matter. All that mattered here in this moment was her desire. She had come too far to stop cumming.

She fell completely on her back, mouth agape in silent ecstasy as her crotch continued to grind against the boy's face. Her hands came up to grab onto long blond locks of hair, squeezing down tightly on his head as if it were a stress ball. To an outside observer it would probably appear that she was locked in mortal combat with the boy. That she was struggling with him for dominance and control. In a way they would be right. Yet there was so much occurring where they could not see.

This fool had no idea how good he was making her feel. She wondered how good it could be if he tried to get her off. But she wasn't about to put the cart before the horse. He had to finish her off here and now before anything.

"So it's come down to hair pulling," he commented from inside her thighs. "How sad, Neo. You really are beaten, aren't you?"

Yes. Yes she was. She was absolutely at the end now. On the brink of orgasm.

A final, soundless scream sang from her lips as her back arched in pure bliss. It was a good thing she could not speak, or else her cry of ecstasy would have woken up half of Vale. Arms fell limp to the floor, her body going soft and still as she laid there in utter contentment. The struggle was over. Apparently even this fool realized it.

She felt a weight lift from her lower body, and glazed eyes that were still seeing stars peered up to see the boy hovering over her.

"Uh... Neo? You okay down there?"

A grin as stupid as he was spread across her lips.

Never better.

And that was something she never would have expected to feel from this guy.

The sound of steel on steel rang through the air, and Pyrrha disengaged once more, falling back to a more advantageous position. This Roman guy was tough. No wonder he gave Team RWBY fits. Truly he was a dangerous antagonist, both clever and with reasonable motivation. She only hoped that he would be in it for the long haul, and that his time in the world of Remnant would not be cut short by unforeseen circumstances only to be replaced with far inferior and boring villains.

He would be defeated soon enough. Where she was trained and experienced in single tournament combat, Roman was nothing more than a common criminal. Well maybe not so common. It wasn't every day you saw a guy wearing eyeliner. Still, he was able to rock it.

"You're tough, kid," the man admitted begrudgingly. "I can see why the Hunts-Man regards you as a dangerous foe."

Her free hand balled into a fist. Why did everyone assume she was a villain! She was just trying to help Jaune! "I'm nothing like you. You're garbage who kills for money."

"Don't talk like one of them! You're not!" he Heath Ledgered back at her. "That was a good movie, wasn't it?"

Pyrrha didn't know what he was talking about. She didn't watch movies. All work and no play made Pyrrha a dull- you know what? I'm not even going to go there. Pyrrha is a lovely girl and character. It's not her fault.

"Your dated pop culture references won't stop me from defeating you," she said, readying herself for battle once more.

But first she wanted to see how Jaune was doing. He may have come a long way, but she wasn't sure if he would be able to handle himself against a foe as skilled as Neo.

Emerald eyes widened at what she saw.

There, lying on the floor, was her partner. Locked in the leggy embrace of his enemy.

Face planted squarely in her crotch.

Miló clattered to the floor with a loud metal clang.

"Giving up, I see," Roman gloated. "Well it's about... time..."

Pyrrha glanced over to see that Roman too had turned his attention to the other fight. A loud, exasperated sigh slipped through his lips.

"What in the name of metrosexuality is going on?" he gasped.

Pyrrha nodded wordlessly. She wanted to know too.

Because by the looks of it, Neo was vigorously rubbing herself against her partner and best friend's face. She was very clearly getting off to him. And there Jaune was, holding onto her legs for dear life and doing nothing to try and get away from her. Almost like he was doing it on purpose. Like he was enjoying it.

Was... was this normal? Was this the kind of things that always happened whenever Roman and Neo 'captured' Jaune? Was this why he was so into this whole super hero gimmick? Was it all just an excuse to have dirty dirty sex with that criminal floozy who was probably a good foot and a half shorter than her?

"Does... does she normally do this with him?" she asked softly.

"No!" Roman insisted. "She's never done this before. I- I-" It was obvious that the master criminal was at a loss for words as well. "I just don't know what's going on here."

The violent spasming and subsequent limpness of Neo's body painted a clear picture for the four time Mistral Regional Champion. She had just climaxed. Right in Jaune's face.

All thoughts of continuing this fight against Roman had gone out the window.

"Um... so..." she struggled to say.

"Yeah... mind if I take a rain check on the whole heroes versus villains thing? I need some serious brain soap after seeing my criminal companion use my arch nemesis as a masturbation tool in front of me."

Pyrrha couldn't agree more. She didn't know how she was ever going to be able to look at Jaune again without seeing that face of his jammed between a woman's legs.

A few moments later Neo stood up, her legs wobbling underneath her with all the strength of strawberry jelly. She produced a piece of paper from her pocket and scribbled something down on it before handing it to Jaune.

The boy looked down at, confusion on the visible portions of his face. He didn't say a word, and obviously Neo didn't either, as she stumbled out of the warehouse like a drunken sailor.

"I should probably go after her," Roman said.

Pyrrha gave no protest. She made no move to stop him.

But what was the mysterious message Neo had given Jaune?

The mattress squeaked with every hard movement of the couple on top of it, though it wasn't loud enough to drown out the noise of those causing it. At least the one person who could make noise.

When Jaune had been given the scroll number, he texted it not knowing what to expect. Another battle against his foes? One where the Red Huntress wouldn't interfere? After all, he knew that Roman and Neo valued proper super villain form. Maybe they found the idea of an outsider interfering in their affairs to be as distasteful as he did.

As it turned out, that was not the case.

He had received quite a shock when his criminal foe kissed him. More when she had began disrobing.

By the time her hands were stripping his clothes off he finally got the message.

A fully nude and very busty Neo straddled Jaune's hips, bouncing up and down on his fully deployed Crocea Mors. The movements were hard and forceful, and it felt as though any moment the bed might collapse under them. That, or his hips.

That was her game, wasn't it?

"So, trying to crush my hips now, are you?" he forced through gritted teeth. "If you incapacitate me, Roman will be free to wreak havoc on the city. You'll never break me, criminal scum. No matter how hard you try."

She gave no response, not that she could have talked even if she wanted. It was as if she hadn't even heard what he said.

Involuntary grunts and moans fled his lips as every movement of her body gave his eyes a sight to treasure. Large breasts, full and natural, jiggled with every rocking motion her hips made on his.

"Or are you trying to seduce me to your side? You'll never win, Neo. You'll never sway me to join Roman and his evil ways."

Again, she gave no indication that she cared about his words. It was as if she was lost in her own little world, her eyes closed and mouth open in silent pleasure as she continued to ride him. Not just her pleasure though. His had been building up for some time now and had reached its limit.

"Oh." Pant. "Gods." Grunt. "Neo." Gasp. "I'm." Groan. "Cumming!"

Mount Jaune erupted, filling the tiny villainess atop him with his seed. And yet, it didn't end there.

Even after he had exploded inside her, Neo continued to ride him. Her bouncing body milked every last drop from him until Jaune reached the point where he could take no more. His own body kicked and struggled in a mixture of discomfort and rapture as the woman continued on, unaware or uncaring that he had gone far past his limit already.

However much like their last encounter, her legs had found purchase on him. The new leverage she had being on top gave him little choice but to wait until she finished. Of course he could have rolled over and forcibly dismounted her, but no man in his position would ever wish to deny his lover her own satisfaction. Even if that lover was his arch nemesis.

Truly sacrifice was a staple of being the hero.

As Jaune squirmed beneath her, Neo took hold of his wrists pinning them down forcefully on the mattress as she continued her work on his pelvis. Her breasts were shoved in his face with her newfound position, and Jaune basked in their pillowy goodness that now encompassed his vision.

The sudden pressure on his wrists threatened to shatter his bones, and it was the first indication to Jaune that Neo had finally finished. Her body fell limply atop his own and her breasts engulfed him completely, blocking out everything else from around the room.

"So you're trying to suffocate me," he accused weakly. "What a... dastardly plan..."

A few seconds later she slid off his body, curling up beside him. A short leg linked possessively around one of his own, holding him in place so that he couldn't leave. An arm came to wrap around his broad chest, her head resting atop his rapidly beating heart.

"Or... are you... trying to... sap me of my strength?" he breathed. "So I fall asleep... and you kill me... while I can't defend myself..."

She craned her head up and gave him a loving kiss on the neck before nestling her head next to it.

"Vile... villainess..." he sleepily whispered.

What followed was a silent night of two sleeping lovers locked in each other's embrace. Or should I say... silent knight?

Thus began the strange relationship of the Hunts-Man and Neo. And every time Roman went to commit a robbery, the Hunts-Man was there to foil him.

Or at least he would have if Neo didn't drag him away to bone him, allowing her partner in crime to escape with his ill-gotten goods.

Maybe that really was Roman's master plan all along.

Oh well. Jaune wasn't complaining.

Author's Note: This little idea was inspired by the one and only Exvnir's latest Silent Knight picture. You can see a glimpse of it in the cover art. Proof that a picture is indeed worth a thousand words. Or in this case, four thousand.

I really enjoy doing these little Hunts-Man shitpost type stories. It's so fun to just let loose, break the fourth wall, be self-aware, and write goofy dialogue. If you want more stuff like this let me know. And if you haven't already, go check out my other Hunts-Man fic, The Dork Knight Rises.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this ridiculous little Silent Knight tale. Thanks for reading.