Hi, I'm Crazyman! Back with a new chapter.

I promise, you'll love it. You'll love it so much that you'll even kiss it good night and cuddle together in bed.

What? Surprised that I actually updated this story? It may not be much of a priority compared to my more serious fanfics, but I don't want to waste the free time that have been given to me. Still, I'm kinda bummed out that I didn't write any content for this story for like what - 9 months? Blonde Memories and JOAT kinda took time slots of my semi-strict writing schedule I had back then.

But who the fuck gives a damn about that?! I all I care about is that I'm back and alive, baby! I'm unstoppable, untouchable, and-

I'm almost about to die from being attacked by shippers...

Someone! Send help! Please!

Anyways, enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum.

Story is mine.

Nora Valkyrie [Boys 2-2]

ReNora (Nora x Ren...duh.): Pancakes Filled With Love

"Another batch of twenty pancakes, coming right up..." Ren sighed as he delivered the plate to Nora. His hair was disheveled and looked like he just came back from a war filled with Grimm.

Now he's in a war with Nora's stomach. Something much, much worse than any S-Class Grimm...

"Thanks, Ren!" Like the elegant pancake-loving lady that she was, Nora gobbled down everything in one go. Of course, she did it with poise and elegance. She even used the proper fork! Beat that, Weiss! Honestly, don't all girls have the ability shove big things in their mouths? She never had a problem with that. You could even ask Jaune.

Although, he was still traumatized back when she managed to shove his sword down her throat for that magic trick...

"More!" Nora ordered as she grabbed the plate and shoved right in front of the poor boy; who was catching his breath after all the demands. "I need more pancakes!"

"Nora..." Ren took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off his forehead. "I'm all out...of ingridients, I mean..."

Out of ingredients? That can't be right... "But didn't we just go to Vale to get a hundred puncakes worth of ingredients? I'm supposed to have four more refills before we go back to the supermarket tomorrow!"

"Ugh, how do I say this?" She heard Ren grumble to himself. Honestly, how did Ren use everything? Did he acidentally spill all of it after seeing a stray Blake or something? "...We're all out of syrup."

"But you said I'm not even allowed to have any syrup..." Nora eyed the boy; who was starting to sweat under his hair. That's weird. Ren never sweats like that. He only sweats when he's half-naked in the Emerald Forest meditating at exactly ten in the morning under the hot rays of the sun, which she totally doesn't go to every single day just to see him undressed and drool at those toned abs that he has.

Excuse her, but she has morals. Unlike some people...

"Ren, are you hiding something from me?" She closed the gap between their faces and gazed into his eyes. Those pink, handsome, and hypnotizing eyes of his. Oh how she could just stare at him like this all day, falling into the abyss that will suck her in. He sure can suck her in if he wanted-

No! She can't go out of focus now! She had a mystery to solve!

Curse you, Ren's pretty eyes!

"Nora, I assure you I'm not hiding anything." Ren did his 'I'm serious' face for the two hundred forty-fifth time this year. No really, she actually took notes in how much he did that. She tried to see if he was lying by staring, but those handsome eyes of his keep giving her some very filthy thoughts. Thoughts like Ren being on top off her, both of them not even wearing clothes. Then he eats her pancake before he slips his-

See!? He's doing it again! Darn you, Ren!

"This isn't gonna work. At this rate, I'll be splashing water faster than the garden hose I used to jump-rope with." She averted her eyes away, staring at the plate definitely helps clear her mind of Ren. "Hmm... Maybe if I ask for more pancakes, then I can spy on him! Genius!"

"Okay then!" She perked up; handing her plate to Ren. "Now gimme more, and uh, take your time. 'Kay, Ren?"

He sighed, but still took the plate in his hands. "Give me about, fifteen minutes...I promise."

She nodded her head in confirmation. Ren then gave a tired a nod of his own before going back to the kitchen. The huntress stared at him, waiting at least two minutes before going forward with her new objective.

Mission: "Check what Ren was doing with the pancakes.", is a go!

Nora sprawled her body on the floor. Crawling with the stealth of a spider hiding in the dark, she sneaked herself out of the dining room and carefully made her way to the kitchen. There was no way anyone would be able to see her. She was practically invivisible! Now all she needed to do was cross the sleeping area and then-

A shriek came from Juane's bed. Oh no! He must be in trouble!

Forgetting her espionage for a second, Nora quickly stood up and stared at Jaune's bed. Balling up her fists, she prepared herself for battle. "Fearless Team Leader, are you o...kay?"

Instead of some Grimm absolutely ravaging her fellow teammate, he just sat there half-naked and the sheets right above his hips. Strange, there was a big weird lump under the covers as well. And wait, Why was Jaune wearing a beret and sunglasses? He was inside a building and it was raining. What's the point of wearing those?

"I'm fine, Nora!" Was he sure? His voice didn't really sound all that convincing. Before she could even say the next thing on her mind, Jaune quickly pointed at the kitchen. "Ren's over there making pancakes, you should see him!"

Remembering her important mission, she quickly ducked and crouched as low as she can. Whew, she really needed to thank Jaune for reminding her. She would've been caught if it weren't for him. She quitely approched his feet, "Thanks, Jaune-Jaune." She whispered before going away.

Now that that's over, she had to move. Nora knew she wasted time, and time was not something she could waste. She needed to be quick but careful, calm but alert, Stealthy but-

Well, it would've been better if Jaune wasn't making those moaning sounds and saying "Oh, Coco..."

Like geez, can't he shut his mouth just this once?

Anyways, the kitchen was right there! The hammer-wielder pressed her ears to the wall, spies always observe before they take action correct? Some slapping sounds were heard from inside, followed with Ren grunting every couple seconds. Hmm, seems like nothing bad was happening. He's probably making the batter for the next batch.

"Argh!" A loud shatter was heard from inside the room. Her eyes widened. What happened?! Did he hurt himself?

Standing up and grabbing the door knob, Nora barged in the room. "Ren! I heard something drop to the floor and-"

Nora stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw Ren.

More importantly, the lower half of Ren's body.

"...I can explain..."

"You...You..." She blushed; pointing between his legs. "T-That was the syrup...?"

Ren looked away; covering his dignity. "It's the thing that was making the syrup..."

Both of them quietly stood in their place, not moving an inch or making any sort of noise. Wind flew across the room, sounds were not made except from the breeze. Not wanting to be exposed for much longer, Ren slowly moved his arms to pull up his pants. Not even two seconds in, his best friend stopped him. She had her face down and her eyes closed. Moments of silence passed before Nora finally got the courage to face him.

Both of their eyes met.

"C-Can I join in, Ren-Ren...?" Nora uncharacteristically squeaked. She always dreamed of this moment, but this is not how she thought it would be! She thought it'd be somewhere around the time she finally confessed to him. Not...whatever was happening now!

Ren silently picked her up from the ground and placed her on the countertop. Her heartbeats sped up as he inched his face closer to hers; slowly spreading her legs in the process. It didn't take Ren that long to meet her face, yet it felt like an eternity with how slow he was going.

The Lotus boy smiled, "I'll let you join in, Nora. Let me have a drink first. Then we can start cooking."

"D-Drink?"

Soon after those words were said, Ren suddenly kissed her. Nora gasped out of shock. Although, it didn't take long for her to return her feelings. Their kiss deepened as Ren carefully took away her lower clothes. She grasped his neck; not wanting to be separated with the man she loved. Their lips separated. Lust was evident in their eyes.

"Ren..." She moaned as she caressed his face and pulled it closer for another kiss.

But instead of returning it, Ren kissed her neck instead. His lips made its way from her neck down to her abdomen. Her breaths hitched as Ren made his way down. Red-faced from all the foreplay; she whimpered. "No wait...!"

Ren went on lower and lower until his mouth grinded against her-

XxXxX

Nora gasped as she woke up from her dreams.

Looking around the room, she saw Jaune minding his own business and Pyrrha nowhere to be seen. Nora saw her legs; seeing that she was on a bed with sheets on. It must've been another dream, just like the others. She sighed as she went back to bed, staring at the ceiling as her mind organized itself back in order.

"Man, that was really something else. Felt a little bit too real if I had to say anything about it." A weird feeling developed in her gut. "Darn it, Ren. You're making me feel weird. Either that or those pancakes are starting to settle in."

"Hey Nora, are you okay?" The Lotus Boy approached a fresh batch of pancakes on his hands. He sat down on her bed, placing the pancakes on the drawer beside the bed. His hand reached out to touch her forehead. "You're hot, sweaty, and I'm pretty sure I heard you gasp for a second there."

Her frown slowly disappeared. At least she could always count on Ren to be caring. Even if she's not sure he'll return her feelings, she would be glad to have someone like him as a friend. "I'm fine, Ren-Ren! Just got a little bit surprised from this huge beast I fought in my dreams!"

Ren gave a chuckle before patting her on the head. "Well, then I guess you should eat up. Can't fight imaginary Grimm with an empty stomach now, can you?"

She awkwardly laughed. Taking the plate into her hands, she poked the food with her fork. She wasn't really feeling all that hungry, if she was being honest. "Yeah...Can't fight Grimm on an empty stomach..." She looked up to him, "Hey Ren, can you get me a glass of water or something?"

He smiled before taking his leave. The more distance between them increased, the more her smile faded away. Nora stared at the pancakes; not even touching it. She just kinda...stared at it. As she observed the meal sitting on her lap, she had noticed something that caught her eyes.

A piece of paper was jammed between the pancakes.

She looked at Ren's direction; checking if he was still there. Once the coast was clear, she swiped the paper away from the pancakes and read it.

"Dear Nora." She whispered; quiet enough for Jaune not to hear. "If you ever read this; and hopefully not gobble it up along with the pancakes, then I would like to say thank you. Thank you for being there with me during my hardest times; times where only you were able to fill the missing gaps of my disenchanted heart. Thank you for bringing light into a world which I've lost all glimmer of hope in..."

The huntress couldn't help but warmly smile at the letter. All sorts of memories and emotions filled her mind. Those harsh days when they were just a bunch of kids. The days where they starved to death. The days where they struggled to walk. The days where they walked under the harsh rain; hands tightly clasped in order to not lose one another. Even Nora herself can't believe how far they had managed to come. From a couple of homeless orphans to students of the famous Beacon Academy.

She slightly shook her head; effectively taking the memories distracting her. The time to look to the past was over, it's time to look into the future. The Orange-haired girl returned her eyes to the paper; surprised to see the letter had more to offer.

"But most importantly..."

She flipped the page over.

"Thank you for letting me drink from that amazing pussy of yours."

Nora fainted soon after.

Aegir (Nora x Neptune): Swimming Lessons

It was a pleasant day in Vale's local swimming pool.

Everybody were busy doing their own thing. Weiss and Pyrrha were bathing under the sun. Ren and Blake were sitting in the kiddie pool; watching over their child. Jaune gently held onto Ruby's hand as they headed towards the deeper side of the pool, letting her experience being on the deeper parts of the pool. Yang was on the diving board. They even managed to get Sun and Neptune in on the action with both of them doing excercises on the side. Nora, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"Cannonball!" Yang squealed. Falling into the pool with the force of a Boarbatusk hitting against a wall. Water splashed high into the air, wetting everything near her area. She rose up from the water moments later; a bright grin spread wide across her face. "Woo hoo, that was a blast!"

"I'll say!" Nora emerged from the water right next to the blonde; wearing a snorkel and goggles. "That right there was the biggest splash I've ever seen in my life!" She pointed at Yang's chest area. "Nice view by the way."

"Nice view...?" Yang looked down at her mounds.

Only to see her bikini top detached from her body. Completely exposing her assets for all to see.

"Kya~!" Yang covered her breasts and submerged herself in the water. "Where did my bikini go!?"

Helping her fellow friend and big bust buddy, Nora immediately spotted the missing clothing from Yang's body. "I found it! Hey Sun, can you give Yang's bra back?"

Both women made eye contact with the monkey faunus. But instead of tossing back the cloth like a normal person, a mischiveous smirk appeared on his face. "Well, I could but-" Sun made a dash for the locker rooms. "You have to catch me first!"

"Sun, you little!" With a face redder than a bouquet of roses, the blonde chased after the faunus. Good thing the only people at the moment were Team RWBY and JNPR. If there were other people around, they would definitely enjoy the view she was giving. Yang was so fast that she had already managed to lift herself to the ground and chase Sun into the locker rooms. "Come 'ere, monkey boy! You're not going anywhere!"

Nora laughed before getting out of the pool herself. She took off her diving gear and fervently shook her head. The water from her hair sprayed all around the area. She was near Weiss, Pyrrha and Neptune. The first two merely got annoyed; though it was mostly Weiss, and Neptune screamed his lungs out.

Seeing the blue-haired boy scream made her realize something.

He never got in the water, did he?

"Hey you!" Nora pointed at Neptune.

"Me?!"

Nora pulled up her shorts before walking over to him. She wouldn't want what happened to Yang to happen to her, right? Since it was literally the only thing covering her bottom as well, stupid Ren forgot to dry clean her panties. So once the shorts were out, her bottom was also out.

"Yeah. What's up with you? We've been here for thirty minutes already, and you haven't dipped in the water!"

"S-Swimming? I'm fine, no need for me to swim!" He tilted his head to the side. "Besides, intellectuals like me don't even need to swim. Go ask Weiss herself. Right, Snow Angel?"

Either Weiss didn't hear him or she pretended not to. But she didn't care what Ice Queen thought of, she was going to make this boy swim if it's the last thing she does! Why? Because she wanted to!

Grabbing him by the wrist, she pulled him towards the pool.

"Nonsense! Everyone needs water from time to time! Don't you want to learn some swimming lessons?" She grinned; clearly oblivious to the trembling man she was holding onto. "Step 1: Swim!"

Nora pulled Neptune, but he didn't budge. She tugged on him a couple more times, yet his feet seemed to be stuck to the ground. Nora pulled him with all of the strength she had, but he's not even moving! He's like a statue!

This wasn't working. The orange-haired girl grabbed him by the legs and carried him bridal-style. "Alright, on the count of three!"

"Hey! Let me-"

"One!"

He squirmed under her grasp. "I said, let me go-"

"Two!"

"Let go of me, you crazy woman!"

"Three!"

Nora dunked him into the water. He rose to the surface pretty quickly, which was aa surprise considering the fact that he probably hasn't touched a pool in a while.

"Go Neptune! You can do it!" Nora happily cheered.

"Somebody! Help me!" He screamed, "I'm drowning!"

"Pfft, stop joking around. You're already doing so well!" She encouraged him. "Just stay on the surface and you'll be fine!"

"I can't breathe..." He slowly fell into the water. Geez, how overdramatic can this guy get?

"No no! You're supposed to do it like this." Nora then imitated swimming as best as she can on land. She flapped her arms mid-air, demonstrating the butterfly stroke. She then jogged in place, showcasing the bicycle kick. She even got on her back and graciously moved her arms in a counter-clockwise motion, teaching him how to do the back stroke.

"...and then you get up, get your medal, and brag to everyone that you're the best swimmer in the world!" Nora turned her attention back to Neptune. "Didja get that?"

The only thing she saw was blue. It wasn't Neptune's hair. She looked even deeper into the water and saw him on the deepest part of the pool...

He's probably practicing how to hold his breath?

Nora waited a couple more seconds. He's gonna get up soon. He's got to...

Her face darkned when she realized Neptune wasn't moving in the slightest.

"Uh oh." Standing up, Nora took a huge breath of air before diving to the deepest part of the pool. On the way there, she saw a couple of fish swimming. Why are there fish? This is a private swimming pool, not the ocean! She'll have to file a complaint sooner or later.

There was even a pinapple at the deepest section and even another diver holding a sponge and a starfish hostage.

Man, this place is weird.

Carrying Neptune into her arms, she used her world-class swimming to get back to the surface in record time. Once they made it back to land, the other teens apart from Sun and Yang surrounded them.

"What happened!?" Ruby said; touching the body. "Is he even alive?"

"What did you do, Nora?" Ren asked her.

"I was just teaching him how to swim, I'm not doing anything bad!" She huffed and crossed her arms. "It's not my fault he couldn't follow the basics."

"Oh my." Pyrrha looked away and scoured the nearest emergency phone station she could find. "I'm going to call the medics, you guys watch over him while I'm gone." She left the scene.

"You guys need to calm down." Weiss; the voice of reason, pulled out some lipstick and cautiously applied it to her mouth. The man was dying! Yet, she's here applying make-up? How is that gonna help?! "Clearly we need to give him some CPR, and I know just how to do it. I am a Schnee after all."

Of course! Carbonated Pancake Repulsion! How could she forget that!? Before Weiss' luscious lips met Neptune's, Nora shoved her out of the way. "Move, Princess! It's my fault, so I should be the one to do this!"

"But...But..." Tears slowly started to form on her face, she rushed away to the bathroom. "I was so close!"

"Come on, Brake." The cat-faunus and Ren ushered their child away from the scene. Not wanting to expose him to such a vulgar actions at a young age. "Auntie Nora will take care of it. Let's go back to the pool, okay?"

"Okay mama!"

Which leaves Jaune, Ruby and Nora to be left alone to un-drown Neptune. Nora puckered her lips for safe measure before forcefully kissing him. She even added some tongue in to make sure it works. A couple of minutes passed and nothing was happening. She deepened her kiss, but there's little to no effect. Why wasn't it working?!

She was feeling all hot and bothered over here, yet he's not even waking up. How ungrateful of him.

"Nora, you're supposed to blow. Not make out with him!" Jaune blushed as he covered Ruby's eyes; saving her innocence and shielding her from the filth. "Yang's lucky I'm here, no one would've been able to cover your eyes. Speaking of, where is Yang anyways?"

She was supposed to blow him as well?

Just like a flick of a switch, Nora perked up and went for Neptune's trunks.

"No! Not that kind of blowing!" Jaune shouted. Ruby on the other hand, started to have a nose bleed. "Can't you use your semblance to pump the water out of his lungs, Nora?"

"Great idea, Team Leader!" Nora got up and rushed off to the kitchen; clad in her bra and shorts. She barrowed a fork and ran back to the pool area; not even caring about the millions of eyes staring at her. The orange-haired girl found the nearest electrical socket and shoved the fork inside. She felt power surge through her as she kept getting electrocuted.

"Hah~! This never gets old~." Nora melted; a satisfied grin spreading across her face. There was actually something people didn't know about her semblance. It was that it actually had a side-effect on her.

What is that side-effect you ask?

Something was dripping water, and it wasn't the fountain near her...

Once finished, Nora made her way to the blue-haired boy and placed both of her arms on his chest.

"Clear!" She shouted before pushing with all of her might. It has to work, it needs to work. Like seriously, his body already made a huge crack on the floor. If this doesn't work, might as well dig him up a grave and leave him there. Nora pressed once again. Bits of water came out from his mouth.

Ruby gasped, "It's working! Keep doing it, Nora!"

She grinned back at her before looking back at Neptune. She lifted her hands up once again. "Third time's the charm!"

She slammed her palms down on his chest, creating a crater on the ground and making Neptune puke out a lot of the pool water he drank. The trio cheered as he kept on throwing up all the water in his lungs. "He's alive!" All three of them simultaneously said.

The blue-haired boy woke up and coughed, "Ugh...What happened?"

"You drowned." Ruby plainly said.

"What!?"

"Yeah, you drowned. But Nora managed to save your butt by slamming you into the ground." Jaune got up and held Ruby by her hands once again. "Come on, Ruby. Let's go to the diving board and get you naked like your sister!"

"Sure thing, Jaune!"

With the two gone, Nora and Neptune were left alone. The blue-haired boy stared at his orange counterpart; clearly unsure on what to say. Nora silently waited as he gathered his thoughts in silence. It actually kinda reminded her of Ren before he turned into a father. Nowadays, he's smiling with Blake and having fun with his kid.

"So, uhh..." Neptune started. "Thanks, I guess?"

"No problem, partner!" She felt a tingling in her stomach. Her semblance was taking effect again.

Both of them heard dripping noises, but Nora was the only one who knew where it was coming from...

She gripped his wrists once again and dragged him towards the locker rooms. "Well, now I have a problem. You're gonna help me with it!"

Neptune gulped in fear. "What are we going to do now...?"

"I electrocuted myself and now I'm horny." Nora gleefully galloped to the locker rooms with Neptune in hand. "You better ready up that pelvis of yours, kid. 'Cause we're gonna pull an all-nighter!"

"All...nighter...?!"

But before they could even use the locker rooms, Sun and Yang appeared from inside. With the female on Sun's back and both of them having statisfied smiles on their faces. "Hey guys, what's up?" Yang said.

"Oh, we're looking for a place to fuck." Nora bluntly said; getting a giggle from her friend. "Is the locker room available?"

"Yeah, but we kinda made a mess there too." Sun answered. "How about the shower area? It's inside the locker rooms and nobody's there to see you."

"Thanks! Come on, lover boy!" He wasn't budging. Maybe a little encouragement would help. "Hey, Neptune." She took hold of her shorts.

"Eh?" She made sure his eyes were on her.

She then removed her shorts, exposing her round butt to him.

"Like what you see?"

The drool coming from his mouth was definitely enough of an indication that he did.

Maybe Ren forgetting to dry clean her underwear isn't so bad after all.

*Slash* I have now ended the chapter.

Comparing this chapter to the last four, my style of writing definitely changed. I swear, the ReNora one was supposed to be a lot less wholesome than it actually is. The humor of ReNora was supposed to be more like Aegir's gag-ish ones. No serious moments, just comedy from start to finish. I mean, this is mostly a shit-post story after all.

Reviews are love. I've got Nora, her hammer, and honey syrup. You think I wouldn't use it on you?! The review can be a compliment, complaint, suggestion, and/or criticism.

Anyways, that's all for now and I will see you in the next one.

Crazyman out.