A/N: Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Five Istari and Four Warlocks. Knowledge of the prequel, Through the Veil, is not really needed - I'm intending this to be quite separate in tone and premise from the first of the series. If you've already read Through the Veil, feel free to skip to the start of the story.

Without spoiling too much, in Through the Veil, Ron and Harry discovered multiversal apparition via the Veil of Death; they returned to child bodies and re-attended Hogwarts; after Ron married Katie and Harry married Fleur, the four of them began hopping universes while they searched for true immortality. After they found a combination of things close enough to true immortality that the distinction didn't really matter, they began screwing around in various universes to amuse themselves. In this story, the four of them visit the first non-Earth world; Arda, and specifically, Middle-Earth.

A swirling myriad of colors.

It was similar to jumping through the Veil, but by God was it confusing. Interdimensional apparition was basically the same as its less powerful counterpart; it was all based on where you wanted to go and how. But there was so much more to consider. When you wanted to arrive, and whether you wanted to arrive on a specific continent or a specific town or beside a specific tree. It also became infinitely more difficult when you couldn't really see where you were going.

That might have been why Ron and Katie were torn from Harry and Fleur's grip as they tumbled through the plane of nothingness.

Harry tried to reach back out towards them, but by the time he'd realized anything was wrong, he'd landed. Soft. White. Cold? Strange. Harry tried to stand up, only to find a ridiculous migraine and nausea take over his body, sending him back onto his knees as he threw up everything he ate in the last week.

The sound of retching beside him notified him that Fleur wasn't faring much better. That was nice to know; at least he wasn't suffering alone.

As his eyes began to focus, he tried to make out the landscape they were in. Snow? He didn't know where there was snow on Middle-Earth - if he'd even arrived on Middle-Earth at all. Perhaps he'd landed in some other weird continent that Tolkien's mythology didn't cover. Was he in the Caradhras? Surely not - there was no mountain nearby, though there were faint outlines towards the south. No, this region was all frosty winter wonderland and not much else. There were patches of coniferous forest, and a few hills, but nothing of note.

Fuck's sake.

"Hey, baby," Harry said mockingly. "How are you feeling?"

"Merde," Fleur spat in response, making Harry chuckle. She slowly straightened. "Where are we?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Harry said, pulling her closer for warmth. Her Veela blood burned through her body like liquid fire - and goodness, was it useful right now. "We're obviously in the polar region, judging by the obscured sun right there. Fuck, this place is a wasteland, isn't it? Maybe it's far north."

"Towards the North Pole? Possible," Fleur said.

Harry patted down his pocket, blinking, as he felt a vibration from that region. He pulled out a small handheld mirror. This was good! Ron and Katie were in this world, then. "Ronald Weasley," Harry enunciated clearly into the mirror, and Ron's face popped up.

"Merlin's balls, Harry, you sent us to this sweltering hellhole!" Ron accused angrily.

"How is that my fault? Maybe you weren't holding on tight enough!"

"Ron, shut up," Katie's voice spoke, and her face pushed Ron's aside. "Hey Harry, Fleur. I'm glad to see you both made it as well. Where are you? We're in a desert of all places. It's so fucking hot, I want to die. My clothes are already sticking to my tits."

"I don't see how that's a problem," Fleur said with lustfully. Katie rolled her eyes.

"Where are you?"

"We're in a desert of a different kind," Harry replied. "We must be up very far north, because there's snow everywhere and surprisingly, no mountains. Fleur and I were just thinking we might have landed north of the Grey Mountains."

"I think we're in Harad," Katie said. "South of Gondor, you know?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "That would make sense. But anyway. Are you guys safe? No injuries, no interdimensional splinching?"

"None we can tell," Ron said. "We did a good job on that, I think, even if there were a few destination troubles."

"First things first, let's figure out what time we're in," Harry suggested. "Are we in the first, second or third age? Are there Istari in this world yet? Since we're in a winter wasteland with literally no sign or even possibility of civilization, we're going to leave the information-gathering to the two of you."

"Fine," Katie sniffed. "That is, if we don't turn into dry husks in the next week."

"Yeah, yeah," Harry waved her off. "We'll call you again, once the sun goes down. See if either of us have any new developments. But have you, Fleur included, noticed how magic-rich this world seems to be?"

A pause, as the others considered his observation. "You're right," Ron admitted. "It's hard to tell because of how fucking painful the sun is - Morgana's saggy tits, I'm gonna end up with terrible sunburn, aren't I? - anyway, I think I can feel it. This place is a desert without much life, but it's definitely richer than the deserts in our original world."

"I can also smell necromancy from the east," Katie said, sniffing the air. "I'm guessing that's the stench of Mordor."

"Probably," Ron agreed. "Or maybe it's the stench of your armpits."

"Shut the fuck up, Ronald."

"One good thing about the cold is that there is no body odor," Fleur smirked.

"And one bad thing might be the joint pain," Harry sighed. "Why couldn't I have been dropped off in the Shire? Nice climate, sunny and warm…"

"At least we didn't get dropped off in the middle of the sea," Ron said, and everyone considered just how fortunate they were in that case.

"Anyway," Harry said. "I think we need to agree on a few things. The biggest thing being, no powerful magic. I'm almost certain that the Istari, Sauron, and other unfavorable characters will be able to sense any grand magic that we perform. That will draw unnecessary attention to us and possibly alter the timeline."

"We can't have that," Fleur tacked on. "While we are powerful, we are not so powerful that we might be able to fight Sauron and his entire army on equal terms. We must not be foolish."

"Damn," Ron sighed. "Although I think that people will already have discovered our presence, considering our grand entrance into this world."

"That's a good point," Harry combed his fingers through his messy black hair. "Fuck. So the biggest players probably already know we've arrived, and possibly will try to find us. Keep your Occlumency on maximum, the Palantirs may be able to attack us from far away. Stay cautious, watch out for spies - animals included - do not perform massive feats of magic, do not alter crucial events of the timeline. We can meet in Bree in a few years and visit the Shire where we can catch up."

"Sounds fine to me," Katie nodded quickly. "Ron, we have to get out of here. If what you said was true, we'll be discovered if we stay here long. And those fuckers got the luck to be further away from Mordor than us."

"Who knows, we might be closer to Angmar than you," Harry said with a raised eyebrow. "I trust you guys are holding onto Fawkes?"

Ron grimaced. "Yeah. The little bugger is loving it in this heat. I hate him and his showing-off."

As if on cue, the gold and copper-plumed phoenix landed on the redhead's shoulder, with a beautiful trill that, even through a mirror and several thousand miles, warmed Fleur's and Harry's spirits. Harry smiled at Dumbledore's old bird. "I hope you heard everything, Fawkes. This world is much more dangerous than our own; keep your magic to a minimum, please. Stay with the two of them, don't go out too far."

Fawkes bobbed his head in agreement. Harry smiled at him. "And you've still got Alduin with you?"

Harry peeked under his wizard's robe to find the tiny lizard snoozing. "Yeah. She's asleep."

Alduin was one of three children that Harry and Fleur had birthed - though unlike the human kids, Alduin had been created through a magical experiment and ritual to create the deadliest apex predator. Named after the famous video-game villain from the lizard's likeness to it, Alduin, Draco tyrannus, was Harry and Fleur's response to the likes of Ancalagon the Black, a hybrid of the most powerful creatures that their world had to offer. If one combined Slytherin's serpent, an Ukrainian Ironbelly, Fawkes' elemental flame-magic, a Nundu's physical and magical resilience, and a hippogriff's pride, it would result a giant black dragonlord.

Though in reality, Alduin was a bit of a lazy slob who liked to snooze all day.

"Good. She'll be a big help in this world," Ron nodded. "I'll see you both tonight, even if only to compare our days. Take care, Harry, Fleur."

"You too," Fleur said, and the mirror went blank. Harry tucked it back into his pocket, and cast a wandless warming charm on himself.

"Where to now?" Harry wondered, and Fleur tapped her chin.

"This area is saturated in magic," Fleur said. "I sense plenty of magical creatures around us, even if this place seems like a wasteland. Perhaps we can try that forest?"

And so they did. They began to hike through the dense snow, although with all the training that they had, it was really no trouble for either Harry or Fleur. Harry and Fleur had retrieved their white snow-cloaks from their shrunken mansion-trunks, and after pulling on some gloves and a mask, the arctic weather was bearable, even comfortable. They hiked into the nearest woods to find that the sun had gone down at that point, though that was to be expected with them being so far up north.

"Look!" Fleur whispered, pointing. "A bunny!"

Harry turned to look at where Fleur was pointing and sent a discreet wave of magic at it; like radar, it bounced back with information that a small creature was hidden in the snow. Harry squinted, and saw it; the white-furred hare was difficult to notice in the snow and dark, but it was there and it was admittedly pretty cute. Reminded him of Luna, actually, the way it sat up on its hind legs and examined the two of them with round black eyes. It eventually decided they were not worth examining and hopped back inside its burrow.

They continued to hike for a while longer - they spotted some elk as well - and eventually when it got too dark to see, Harry transfigured the snow into a spacious igloo for them to spend the night in. The two sorcerers crawled inside. Protected from the biting wind, it was quite warm. Harry used the summoning spell to bring him some twigs, of which he created a pile of in the center. He blew on the pile gently, creating a small, crackling flame.

Harry collapsed onto his back and Fleur did the same. Their small hideout was silent save for the crackling of the small fire. Fleur turned her head to look at Harry, who was examining Alduin crawl out of his breast pocket and curl up in front of the fire, much like a cat. Eventually, Harry's green eyes met Fleur's blue.

"What are we going to do?" Fleur asked softly.

"We'll head south," Harry said. "If we circle around the east of the Grey Mountains and go south, we should be able to find the Lonely Mountain. From there, we'd be able to find civilization, of which Mirkwood is the closest."

"And we can meet Legolas!" Fleur exclaimed happily.

"Yes, yes. Your celebrity crush," Harry said dismissively, before studying her more intently. "You know, if the elves really are a race of supermodels, then you could fit in as an elf as long as you hide your ears."

"Why, thank you," Fleur smiled at the compliment. Many men, and women, had called her attractive before using a lot of flowery language, but she liked it best when Harry said it. "I'd imagine my looks are all that will keep you from burying your cock into the nearest elf-maiden."

"Yeah, right?" Harry snorted. "I'm not that promiscuous, you know. In fact, I'm quite certain you've had more sexual partners than I've ever had, especially being a Veela and all."

"But you flirt with anything that has tits and walks on two legs."

"Ah, you see, that's where you're wrong," Harry said. "I've also flirted with a centaur."

Fleur snorted, then laughed heartily, disturbing Alduin who glared at her before closing her eyes again and going back to sleep. Fleur smiled happily at Harry, and squeezed his hand, to which he smiled and squeezed back.

"If you do try to flirt with the elf-maidens, I shall flirt with King Thranduil and get him to exile you."

"Not if I get to him first."

"You must rely on your ill-earned pick-up lines while I can use my allure."

"Which the mighty King of Elves will fall like a complete sucker for, I'm sure."

They spent another moment in silence, basking in each other's company. It was a shame they'd been separated from Katie and Ron, both of them being almost as close to her as Harry was, such that they had literally no secrets from each other. But it was also nice that she got to spend some time with Harry alone. How long had it been where only the two of them had spent a significant amount of time together? Was it… back when Harry was the President of the USSR? Or was it back when they were propping up Hagrid as the Dark Lord of Britain?

"Will we involve ourselves in the War of the Ring, Harry?"

Harry took a moment before responding. "I'd imagine we will. We're going to get sucked into the war eventually, and Sauron's resurrection will spell trouble for even ourselves. Plus, I'd imagine Bilbo is a better conversationalist than the Witch-King."

Fleur snorted. "I suppose that's true. What do you expect to do before then?"

"Do what we've always done, minus the destructive tendencies," Harry said with a sound that implied a shrug. "Travel, learn new things. I'm keen on learning Dwarven smithing techniques - if they're anything as good as the goblin smiths back home, they will be a very good skill to have. Imagine having plate armor with the same durability as Gryffindor's Sword."

"Especially if they're made of mithril," Fleur agreed. "I want the Arkenstone."

"I see your tendency to collect trophies hasn't disappeared," Harry said dryly. "Sure, we can try to get the Arkenstone, if the Dwarrows haven't already found it. As pretty as it is, I'm not going to be on the receiving end of an angry Dwarven army because you like pretty things."

"Of course I like pretty things. I need an outfit befitting my status as a goddess, after all," Fleur said with a smirk. "You might be content looking like a homeless vagabond whenever we're traveling worlds, but I? I would want to look befitting of my status as a woman who has learned much, traveled much, and accomplished much."

"I suppose," Harry grunted.

"Maybe I can cut the Arkenstone into smaller pieces," Fleur mused, lost in her little daydream. "I can replace the sapphires in Ravenclaw's Diadem with pieces of the Arkenstone… turn the sapphires into a pair of earrings. If there's any Arkenstone left over, I'll turn it into a pendant…"

"Simply fascinating, Fleur, but I'm going to cut you off there," Harry sighed.

"Imagine. Once we grow tired of this world, we can visit the World of Ice and Fire. Unlike Earth or even Middle-Earth, Westeros does not have any form of flamboyant, noticeable magic - now imagine if a woman even more attractive than Galadriel, dressed in mithril and goblin-silver and Arkenstone, arrives on the Wall and burns it down under her feet! I will be hailed as a goddess, no doubt - and you can be my servant if you wish."

"I have no interest in feeding your ego."

"You're a terrible liar. You love it when I patronize other people," Fleur accused. "Not to mention the fact that you're infatuated with me and would do anything for me. It's cute the way you act so tough and gruff but you're just a big softie inside."

"And you're a manipulative bitch who uses my infatuation for satiating her desire to be noticed, with the audacity to even brag about it in front of my face."

"Don't be that way, Harry. You know I love you."

"I know you do," Harry said, his voice softer and more loving. Fleur's heart warmed.

"Now that we've discovered we can travel to other worlds, what other worlds do you want to visit?"

"Many of them," Harry said vaguely. "I mean, I don't have any real order set out in mind so I can't tell you where I want to go the most or anything like that. But you mentioned a World of Ice and Fire - that's a pretty big sandbox to play in, with its own form of magic I can study. I'm also sure I'd very much enjoy seducing Karrin Murphy in front of the second coolest magical Harry. Beyond that, I have a bunch of ideas, but none that I'm certain of yet."

"So your goal is to…?"

"Become the most powerful magical entity in the multiverse?" Harry smiled. "Then maybe I can become a hermit. Live in recluse and teach visitors the mystic arts."

"You have the strangest desires, sometimes."

"Honestly, Fleur, I've lived for God knows how long and I've had my fair share of excitement. I've literally burned the world in nuclear fire. I've set up Hagrid as a puppet Dark Lord and controlled the world through him. I lived an entire lifetime without once using my magic and still became humanity's first trillionaire. This isn't to say I'm not a grumpy old man who hates the concept of having fun, but I'm more patient these days. I like having peace and quiet, once in a while. And honestly, I think this world - when it's not in apocalyptic war, obviously - provides a lot of both."

Fleur smiled. Harry really was a big softie inside. But one that Fleur respected, loved and trusted with her life. Because while he was a softie, he could also be an unstoppable force, a hurricane of power, and inevitably, every world would bow to his might.

Several months had passed. Harry and Fleur continued to trek through the snowy land, taking in the sights. Harry liked to call himself a scholar, but Fleur considered him more of a tourist. He had a magical camera (not the same magical camera that still took photographs in monochrome - a proper, retina-quality photograph with unbelievably vibrant colors) that he used to take photographs of the forests, the snow-covered hills, the bears and bunnies and foxes, and a species of giant cat.

The giant cat had managed to sneak up on the two of them; Fleur honestly had no idea how. Their senses, physical and magical, were honed to a point sharper than any goblin blade; no living thing should have been able to sneak up on them, even at night. And yet, the giant cat had managed, its thick padded feet completely silent in the crisp snow.

The cat, which was as large as a tiger but had leopard-like prints, had pounced on Harry from the shadows. Harry barely managed to cast a shield in time, surprised as he was. The cat was knocked back, but it didn't attack after that, merely observing. It had turned into a tension-filled staring contest. The cat approached, warily and slowly, before Harry hesitantly put out his hand. The cat sniffed, then to their surprise, gave a loud rumbling purr before butting its head against his hand.

As a result, Harry, Fleur, and Alduin now had a new companion - Mufasa the Wasteland Cat.

Harry was fascinated. His hypothesis was that Mufasa was a highly intelligent magical creature, capable of performing stealth magic on itself, magic for suppressing noise and a crude version of a notice-me-not. It also seemed to be able to understand what Harry or Fleur was saying at times - or at least their emotions and basic ideas or concepts.

Alduin, predictably, became jealous at all the attention Harry gave the cat and migrated to Fleur, being needier than ever.

As Harry continued to observe Mufasa's hunting techniques, he became increasingly convinced his hypothesis was correct. The snow here was thick, fluffy and loud; there should have been no way for this massive cat to walk so silently that even he had not heard its approach. The cat also had powerful claws that seemed to rip through hide like paper; perhaps the claws were magically enhanced, as well? And there was the fact that the darkness did nothing to hinder its vision. Most cats had excellent night-vision, but it was especially prominent with the Wasteland Cat.

"Maybe it can see heat like a snake can," Harry mused.

"Perhaps," Fleur agreed. "It would certainly explain why he seems to be able to track prey from far away in the darkness."

It was about a month after they began travelling with the feline that Fleur and Harry encountered the first sign of civilization.

During dusk, Mufasa had found prey and was stalking towards it, Harry and Fleur following while covered in stealth charms. When they came closer, they realized they were looking at a giant furred animal - no, it wasn't furred, it was wearing furs. A human! Harry promptly canceled his stealth charms and called out to the cat.

"Stop! We need to talk to them. Don't kill him, please."

The human spun around and froze completely; though only his eyes were visible from underneath all the furs, Fleur could recognize his fear. The cat stared at Harry incredulously, as if to say 'are you kidding me?' before it huffed and slunk away into the darkness. Apparently the cats didn't like having their food taken away from them.

Fleur's eyes returned to the human - clutching a wooden spear with shaking hands - staring on at the retreating cat with incredulity. He turned back to the two sorcerers and bowed respectfully, but warily. He chattered to them in an unrecognizable tongue. Something similar to the Nordic languages? Icelandic, perhaps? Regardless, Fleur didn't understand a word he said.

Harry waved his hand over them to cast a translation charm. "Could you repeat what you said, please?" He asked in English, but to the hunter, he'd hear it in his own tongue.

"I am grateful for your intervention, friends," the man repeated. "You speak our language, yet I have not seen your likeness in the tribe. I have never met a man with dark hair before."

"That's because I've never been to your tribe and I've never spoken your language," Harry said easily. "I can do a little bit of magic."

An understatement, but the man's eyes went wide. "You're a shaman?"

"Or something similar where I come from, yes," Harry admitted. "We haven't seen human contact in months. May we join you and your tribe for rest?"

The hunter nodded quickly. "Of course. I will explain to them that you spoke to the cat and saved my life. They will welcome you."

Harry winked at Fleur as the hunter turned around and began to march back to his people. "Anyone can speak to the cat. I've observed they are intelligent enough to understand emotions and basic ideas. If you approach them without fear and with respect, I'm sure they'd be willing to converse with you."

The hunter glanced at him before looking forward again. "I am Stone. What is your name?"

"Harry," Harry introduced. "And this is Fleur."

"Harry?" Stone asked, confused. "In our tribe, we name people after things we find in nature. What does Harry mean?"

Harry and Fleur exchanged looks. "I don't know," Harry admitted. "But 'Fleur' means 'flower' in her native tongue."

"Ah, now, that I understand," Stone said with a satisfied tone. "Where are you both from? There is hardly anyone in these Wastes. In all my twenty-three years of life I have not met anyone outside our tribe."

"I suppose that is to be expected; I doubt many people can be fed in these parts," Harry said, and the man chuckled in affirmative. "We come from very far away. Warmer parts. Where we come from, grass grows on the soil - imagine tiny little leaves poking out of the soil without a trunk or branches - and rain, liquid water falls from the sky instead of snow. Although we do get snow as well."

"That must be a strange sight," Stone commented.

"Perhaps it is," Harry agreed. "How many people live in your tribe?"

"Three-and-ninety," Stone replied. "We have seen better days. About ten winters ago we saw the harshest winter in the past five generations. Many of our number perished, or disappeared in blizzards."

"You have my condolences."

"What happens happens. It is the reality of life," Stone sighed. "Although I suppose where you come from, you don't have blizzards?"

"Not like here, no."

"It would be nice, to go somewhere with more food," Stone said. "But we cannot simply abandon our ancestors and gods."

Harry glanced at Fleur. "What gods do you worship, Stone?"

"We worship the Lady of Winter, the Hunter, and the Sun," Stone said reverently. "The Lady of Winter is… cruel. We must keep her appeased unless we want another winter like ten years before. Of course, we must also be in favor of the Hunter so we can find food, and the Sun so we may find warmth and drive off beasts of the night. Some of our people also worship the Fisher."

"Interesting," Harry commented.

They continued hiking for two hours, during which Harry asked Stone all manners of questions. Stone also asked Harry questions, and after a brief discussion with Fleur, he decided it would be no harm in telling some of their stories to a tribe so isolated that it didn't even have warriors. Harry told them about very basic things that were common both to this world and their own world - if the existence of antler-less elks that men could ride on shocked Stone, then he was most definitely not ready for the idea of metal birds that could swallow men and carry them through the sky, only to vomit them back out once the journey was done.

Fleur squinted as she spied lights. As they approached, she found that they were small campfires formed around the perimeter of their camp. Their 'camp' was extremely basic and frankly depressing. A giant wall of ice and snow ringed around their camp, likely to block the harsh winds, and the 'buildings' inside the walls were made of fallen branches arranged like a tent and covered in foilage or pelt to keep the heat in.

"Pebble! Flake!" Stone raised his arm in salute to two more fur-clad men standing guard at the entrance to their camp. "I have returned, but only because these two people saved me from the attack of the Wasteland Cat."

"Ho, Stone," one of them rumbled. "And any man or woman who helps a member of our tribe is welcome here."

"Thank you," Harry said politely, though his gaze told him he would rather sleep in another igloo than in this settlement.

The three of them passed the two hunters on guard duty and into the camp. Their clothes garnered some strange looks; this tribe didn't even have leather, though it was understandable - the land was in no condition to build a tannery in. These people were truly little more than barbarians, brought together only by the fact that if they separated into smaller groups they would be killed off.

"You must come meet the elders," Stone said. "They are in charge of running our settlement."

"I see," Fleur said, wondering what the hell there was to even run in this settlement.

They moved over to a slightly larger tent on the far side of camp. Children and women peeked out from the tents, staring and whispering at the two newcomers. What were they wearing? Were they giants? Did that man have black hair? Stone ducked underneath the flaps of the tent and the two sorcerers followed.

Inside was a rather stereotypical setting; a campfire in the middle, and a group of old men and women lounging around it. They sat up wearily as they spied the newcomers. Stone removed his hood to reveal a pale, scarred face - ritual scarring, no doubt, they were too symmetrical - and shaggy blond hair.

"Elders," he said respectfully. "I wished to let you know, Harry and Fleur here saved me from a Wasteland Cat during my hunt. I would not be here if not for them, so I invited them home for a place to rest and a meal in their belly."

"I see," the oldest man said. He looked withered and ancient, but he was still probably in his forties, fifties at the latest. "I thank you for your assistance, my esteemed guests. Feel free to stay in our home as long as you wish."

"Thank you, elder," Harry said politely, but Fleur had known him long enough to recognize that tone. It contained a carefully masked undertone of disinterest.

"What are you wearing?" One of the elders said. He seemed a little younger than the others, and though he was old he was still relatively-well build. "That certainly doesn't look like hide."

"It technically is," Harry shrugged. "Firstly, it's leather, so it's been pickled and processed. Second, it's dragonhide, and dragons naturally do not have hair."

"Don't have hair?" The elder murmured.

"As I told Stone, we come from much warmer places where creatures that don't have hair can survive."

"I understand," the elder nodded. "What is a dragon, if I may ask?"

"You may ask. A dragon is a flying, fire-breathing creature of legends, with scales like a fish and as large as mountains."

"...and you say your cloaks are made from that material."

"Indeed."

"A creature of legends."

"Legends to most. Not to travelers like Fleur or I." Harry poked at his pocket, from which an annoyed Alduin poked out her head. The elder's eyes went wide, and he leaned in closer for a better look. Alduin coughed, plumes of smoke erupting from her mouth.

"Incredible," he murmured as the dragon clambered up onto Harry's shoulder and spread her tiny wings. "Is it in its infancy? You said they are as large as mountains."

"She can grow and shrink with the aid of magic," Harry said. "Though yes, she is still relatively young for one of her species."

"You must tell us more of your tales," the elder said with twinkling eyes. "I confess myself very interested. You see, I once found a 'ranger' caught in a snowstorm, and I rescued him. Ever since he'd told me his tales, I have wished to explore south… alas, my daughter has yet to find a man for herself and I must stay until she does."

Harry smirked. "Why do you think I travel? I would not let such responsibilities catch up to me."

The man laughed. "I am River, friend. It is good to meet you. Now, let us exchange tales and perhaps I can convince you to marry my daughter."

Harry rolled his eyes even as the man chuckled.

Ron and Katie stumbled through the Harad desert. Judging by the sandy dunes that dominated their landscape, they were up further north in Near Harad, a region similar to Arabia, than they were closer to Far Harad, which by all accounts was mostly jungle.

"Are you sure we can't use the motorcycle?" Katie whined. "Nobody's gonna see. There's nobody here!"

"Stop whining," Ron smirked. "You drag me to the beach all the time and you've proven to me that you don't even mind having sand in your bikini bottom."

"Yeah, because I can take a dip into a giant body of water where it will wash it away," Katie said irritably, as she re-wrapped a white towel around her head - though it was quickly turning mustard yellow. "Surely we can at least conjure camels."

"I suppose that's acceptable," Ron agreed, and Katie flicked her wand. The sand rose up into the general shape of a lumbering, bactrian camel, along with saddle and reins. Ron did the same, and the two camels kneeled down for its two creatures to hop on their back. It was much less comfortable than riding a horse, as they swayed and lumbered their immense weight over the sand, but a horse would fare badly in the sand and in the heat.

"Point me, north," Katie said, and her wand spun in the opposite direction from the sun. "Point me, Minas Tirith." The wand turned slightly to the left. So Gondor was in the northeast, then - meaning Mordor was directly north of them.

"I know Harry said not to cause any major timeline changes," Ron commented. "But wouldn't it be wiser to go out of our way to reduce Sauron's influence? I mean, the Mûmakil come from Harad, so if we made sure the Haradrim tribes didn't ally themselves with Sauron…"

"Yeah, I think that's better than sitting back and not doing anything," Katie frowned. "I can understand where he's coming from. This world has a bunch of factors that can overwhelm us in terms of both physical and magical power. The closest thing we had to a Tolkienesque threat in our own world was the Nundu."

"But it's all the much better if those same dangerous creatures don't ally themselves with the darkness," Ron finished.

"Exactly," Katie nodded.

They cast a bunch of lightweight charms and speed charms on their camels so they moved much faster. The desert was pretty, but it did get old very quick, especially with all the burning heat and monotony. Although Ron did appreciate the way Katie's shirt clung to her curvature when she removed her coat, realizing it was heating her up more than not. Ron cast a slightly over-powered cooling charm on her.

"Thanks," Katie smiled at him. "The damn sun was burning through my own charm, I don't know how, but this place would have killed me as soon as I landed here if not for magic."

"It's not a problem," Ron said lightly. Once Katie's face was averted, his gaze descended onto her breasts and the way her nipples poked out.

They'd ridden for another two days. This shit was getting real old, but after thousands of years at life they had learned to grow patient. They continued to ride, the transfigured camels never getting exhausted, until Katie squinted. "Hey, Ron? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"I think so," Ron agreed. Although the heat caused shimmers on the horizon, he was certain it wasn't a mirage. "Those looks like buildings."

And so it was. Another ten minutes of hard riding led them to a town surrounding an oasis. It was a relatively large oasis as far as they went, but the population was small. A small population could be sustained at an oasis for a significant period of time, but if the inhabitants were wasteful or large in number, the water supply could be used up faster than it could be refilled.

Ron and Katie saw a few dark-skinned faces peer out from the windows as they approached. They didn't seem unfriendly, so Ron only cast a few detection charms around the perimeter before leading their camels through the dusty streets. The outside edge of the oasis-town was surrounded by a dense formation of tall palm trees, like a line of guards, likely protecting against the occasional dust-storm and the heat as well.

"Is there an inn?" Katie wondered, squinting her eyes and watching the translation charm decode the foreign writing as she watched.

"Doesn't seem like - no, there it is," Ron pointed. They tethered the camels alongside others next to the inn, where there was a feed trough and water for them to drink. A young boy, ten or eleven, was raking out the much that the camels left on the dusty ground. "Hello, young man. Are you in charge of the camels?"

"Yes," he said warily. "Can I help you?"

"By doing what you usually do, my friend," Ron said, digging into his 'money pocket' and tossing him a silver sickle. Sure, a sickle might not have the standardized value as in their old world, but it still held its weight in silver. The boy looked shocked that such a coin had sailed through the air into his outstretched hands. "Take care of them, you hear?"

"Of course, sir," he stammered.

Ron and Katie turned back around the front to enter the inn. It was a simple enough design, and cozy. The innkeeper blinked once at Ron and Katie's pale faces as they removed their towels from their heads. Ron wasn't entirely certain if there was a significant amount of racism around these parts - hopefully not, but they were able to pay, so it wouldn't matter.

"Hello, sir and lady," the innkeeper said. "Are you looking for a room?"

"We are, good sir," Katie flashed a brilliant smile. "We've been in the desert for some time, now. We'll also need to catch up with the gossip, I imagine."

He chuckled. The good-natured man gave them a room and a bath on the house (since business was slow, he said) and Ron was determined to leave him a nice tip. They went up to the second floor - the buildings were generally no taller than that so they remained below the canopy of trees and thus the upper levels did not get ravished by heat or sand - and found their room. It was simple but clean, and the heat was minimized in here; it was cozy, in fact.

"This is nice," Katie said, as she kicked off her boots. She opened the window and began to toss all the sand outside. Ron kicked his own boots at her but she only stuck her tongue out. Ron whined and Katie rolled her eyes before removing the sand from his boots as well.

"Thanks, Katie," Ron beamed.

"You're so lazy sometimes," Katie said.

"You know, growing up with magic and getting so advanced at it to the point you can merely will it and make it so, it's difficult not to get lazy."

"Thank goodness for my Muggleness, then," Katie sighed. "My mother was never one to tolerate laziness."

In truth, it was difficult to remember her parents. While Katie was magical (and a powerful magical at that) and thus had a lifespan of well over two hundred years if she ate healthy, got regular medical check-ups and regular exercise (which she had on good authority wizards never did), her parents had a lifespan of about eighty years, and had died long before the end of Katie's first life. Since, thousands of years passed and while she'd grieved their loss for a long time. However, when she tried to remember them now, she couldn't really come up with anything, and ended up feeling more confused than anything.

"So," Ron said. "When do we go Balrog-hunting?"

"Where will we even find Balrogs? Except for in Moria," Katie said.

"Why not Moria itself?"

"Because Gandalf won't be reincarnated and we have no idea what that could result in," Katie shrugged. "I honestly don't know the significance of white robes, but…"

"I hate white clothes," Ron declared.

"Yes, because you look like an idiot in them and you always spill food," Katie nodded.

"How do I look like an idiot with the color of my clothes?"

"It makes you look like a mannequin with a wig."

"Ha-ha, very funny, another joke about my skin tone. Didn't you attend all those civil rights rallies in America and get arrested more times than you could count?"

"I did, prat, at least until you and Harry burned down my world in nuclear fire."

"Please, that world was asking to be destroyed and you knew it. That place was a capitalist nightmare. Harry's people were starving on such a constant basis because of unchecked pesticide usage and unsustainable fishing practices by foreign, private entities that cannibalism was punishable by a minor fine; my government only managed to avoid getting outright usurped by private corporations because my military was still bigger than their collective private armies."

"Yeah, seriously. I was lucky I didn't get caught by private police instead of federal police. I knew a few people who did…" she shivered.

"A wealth gap so massive that the top 0.1% owned 95% of wealth. People were afraid to commit suicide because their children would be sent to work as slaves in their stead, only with unsolvable debt. You're really telling me that turning all of that into dust was cruel?"

Katie didn't speak. As much as she and Fleur hated what the boys did, they hated the world itself even more. A million times more. It was a dying world. People weren't having kids - well, until they were forced to. The planet's health was failing, the people lost their minds, became mindless drones in an effort to avoid the emotions they were constantly bombarded by, like pain or misery or hatred. Ron and Harry called it a mercy killing.

The scary thing was, Katie had never found herself able to form a decent argument against it.

"Katie?"

Katie looked back at Ron and shook her head. "Nothing. I was just thinking. Anyway, now that we've been riding for a few days, I want to take that bath and go to sleep."

So they did. The tub was just large enough to fit two people, and Katie reveled in the sensation of her muscles relaxing and the grime being scrubbed off her skin. She dressed in only her underwear and had a brief moment to admire the sensation of the sheets - she'd expected worse from such a technologically backwards world - and fell asleep.