Author's Note: So I've been in a serious writing funk. For those who don't follow my Youtube channel, my mother did pass away in early April and I've since moved to a really nice place. But I've had awful writers block so I decided I wanna write a fanfic about if Eren and Mikasa kissed in Season 2 and how that would effect their relationship in the anime/manga after. I got a lot of inspiration from Inuyasha for this as well. When the text is in this font its the character's thoughts. You could also say this is the Attack On Titan world's version of The Red String of Fate
The orange sky of dusk seemed to be turning into a deeper and deeper red color...or at least, the blood in the air made it look like that. Unable to do anything but just sit there and watch, two usually capable soldiers were wide eyed in horror as they witnessed their friend being devoured by the Smiling Titan.
Hannes' body and face slowly vanished into the titan's jaws, nothing but his blood left on the titan's hands and chest. Several drops and splashes of it were on the ground near Eren and Mikasa.
Mikasa starred, her eyes wide in horror as the wind breezes through her jet black hair slightly. Eren's body trembled, and he suddenly fell on his hands and knees as the realization sunk in.
Mikasa glanced down at Eren, thinking at first he was sobbing. Her eyes softened in shared grief, but then they widened slightly and her heart dropped to her gut.
Eren wasn't crying, he was laughing. He laughed madly, tears falling from his eyes to the ground, his entire body shaking.
"YOU STILL CAN'T DO ANYTHING! YOU'RE JUST AS USELESS AS YOU'VE EVER BEEN...YOU HAVEN'T GROWN AT ALL!", he screamed into the ground, pounding his fist.
Mikasa froze up, her heart felt like it had been stabbed from hearing Eren talk like this about himself.
'Eren...no...please...that's not true...you have grown...'
As she thought this, Eren's screams continued. "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A USELESS KID...ITS ALL AMOUNTED TO NOTHING...YOU'RE GOOD FOR NOTHING...NOTHING AT ALL!", he screamed into the ground, his whole body shaking.
'Eren..! Stop! That's enough...please...its NOT true!', Mikasa's eyes welled up with tears as her thoughts anxiously raced.
"I'm sorry mom...after all this time I can't do anything at all...", Eren whimpered under his breath, but still loud enough for Mikasa to hear him.
"Eren..", Mikasa spoke then softly. She couldn't bear to see him like this any longer...she didn't want things to end like this. It was too cruel...if this was truly the end, if they were truly going to die here...she didn't want Eren to die in this horrible state of mind. The thought was too cruel to bear for Mikasa.
Eren choked back a sob, and sat up looking at her. Mikasa leaned in a bit close, her hand was still clutched over her chest where she had been injured, indicating she was still in a great deal of pain.
"Stop, you know that isn't true...", Mikasa spoke softly then...and then to Eren's shock, she smiled. A genuine, true smile. Eren's eyes widened and it felt like time had stopped...he hasn't seen her smile...quite like this...ever.
Despite the fact they were surrounded by chaos, Armin was not far behind them trying to fend off a titan with no ODM Gear, the Smiling Titan was on top of them...it felt like the rest of the world had been muted. All Eren heard and saw was Mikasa.
"Hey...thank you...", Mikasa continued in a soft voice, still smiling. Eren gawked at her, but didn't say anything. He was speechless.
"For fighting...for always staying by my side...thank you...", she continued, her voice struggling not to crack.
"Mikasa...why...why are you...thanking me now...? Why now..?! You're not giving up...this isn't like you. You never give up...you can't be...", Eren's thoughts began to race, as he starred into Mikasa's eyes.
The girl he saved all those years ago, and has been at his side since then. Stubbornly remained at his side, despite how dangerous it got, despite how many times her life was risked. She never stopped following him.
"I'm grateful for that Eren...and for...", Mikasa looked down with a sad smile, tears starting to form in her eyes, the tears she couldn't keep holding back.
"This is it Eren...we're going to die here...the Smiling Titan...is going to eat us. There's no way out of this...I know that. I've accepted this is the end...but...at the very least...we can die together, in peace...and if an afterlife is real...we'll see each other again...that...is enough for me...", Mikasa's thoughts raced...and she convinced herself this would be enough.
But in the deeper part of her mind...it wasn't. She wanted to live, she wanted a future with Eren. A peaceful future. But in this moment of despair, she had to force all her dreams in the back of her mind to accept the cruel reality.
She gripped her red scarf, thinking back to when Eren first wrapped it around her. "My scarf...for always wrapping it around me, thank you", she cried, smiling tearfully at Eren.
Tears filled Eren's eyes, he had gone into a state of shock, frozen in horror. He didn't even blink, as Mikasa leaned in close to him. Her lips were inching closer and closer to his.
"Mikasa...is this really...goodbye? Why...why did you keep following me? If you hadn't, you'd be safe right now...you wouldn't be going through this...you wouldn't...be about to die...",
As Eren's thoughts went, he felt Mikasa's lips press against his. She closed her eyes, and for a second, Eren did as well.
They shared a soft, loving kiss, as Mikasa gripped Eren's arm gently. Armin, who had been swinging his blade helplessly at the titan, glanced over and his eyes widened at the scene.
"Eren...Mikasa...", he cried, tearfully. Just as the Smiling Titan started to reach its hand down, Eren's eyes opened.
He broke the kiss aburptly, and glared up at the titan. Mikasa blinked tearfully, watching him a little taken aback and confused.
"No...you are NOT dying here, Mikasa! No way in HELL am I gonna just sit here...and let you DIE! I WON'T ALLOW IT!", He stood up, clenching his fists and suddenly screamed, punching the titan's palm.
He felt a power surge through him, and suddenly all the titans began running towards the Smiling Titan, ignoring the scouts.
Everyone looked dumbfounded, as more titans were thrown at the Smiling Titan. Eren had no idea what just happened, but it didn't matter.
"Mikasa..!", he turned and quickly knelt down and grabbed her, lifting her onto his back. Mikasa wrapped her arms around his neck, as Eren started running, carrying her.
Mikasa looked behind them, and she froze in a mix of horror, relief and confusion. "Why are they...eating it...?", she asked, seeing the titans devouring the smiling titan.
The sudden adrenaline of escaping had numbed the pain in her rib cage for the moment, as Eren only ran faster. He didn't know or care at this point what happened, all he knew was they had an opening...he had to get Mikasa to safety.
Eren's heart pounded as he carried Mikasa across the long stretch of grass. She was heavy from her muscles, but the adrenaline pumping within him made her feel light as a feather.
He looked over to the side, seeing The Armored Titan heading right for them. He glared, and skidded to a stop facing them.
"GET AWAY FROM US! RAT BASTARDS, I'LL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!", he screamed, and as he did the other titans began attacking the Armored Titan.
Before he could even question it, horses galloped over to their side. Riding one of them was Armin. "Eren, can you ride?!", he asked urgently.
"Yeah, but Mikasa needs to ride with me, she's hurt", Eren replied anxiously, Mikasa keeping her arms wrapped around his neck. "Then hurry!", Armin said anxiously.
Once they were on horseback, the bouncing of the horse suddenly sent sharp pains through Mikasa's rib cage, every bounce from the horse was like a stabbing pain to her chest.
The further the horse ran, the worse the pain got for her. She squeezed her arms around Eren's waist tightly, tears in the corners of her eyes.
She was grimacing, her eyes closed as well. Eren swallowed hard as he rode forward, feeling Mikasa's grip get tighter and tighter.
"Mikasa...she's in a lot of pain...damn it...! Hang in there...",
"Eren, what happened back there?! How badly is she hurt?", Sasha asked urgently, riding alongside them. "I don't know...pretty bad, she needs a doctor as soon as we arrive...", Eren replied.
The ride back was extremely tense, Mikasa continued to squeeze her arms around Eren's waist. Eren froze, listening to her and noticed her breathing was staggering.
He felt his heart sink in fear. "We're almost there Mikasa, just hold on please..."
It felt like an eternity, but finally the horses reached the gate. Eren's horse came to a stop and Mikasa winced, releasing a short muffled cry of pain against Eren's back.
"Armin, help me!", Eren said urgently, needing help getting her down. Armin dismounted his own horse quickly and hurried over with Sasha.
"Gentle, it hurts her to be moved...", Eren explained as they started to slowly and carefully help Mikasa down off the horse. "I got you Mikasa, you're okay...", Sasha assured softly, her eyes full of worry.
Mikasa gripped onto Eren and Armin for dear life, grimacing painfully. It was starting to get hard for her to breathe in, the pain was so severe...she had never experienced such intense physical pain before in her life.
"We need a doctor here!", Sasha yelled over to the approaching medic team, as Eren and Armin finished getting Mikasa down.
Armin held one of her arms over his shoulders while Eren did the same with the other, she was getting heavier due to growing weaker.
"Lay her here gently", a doctor said urgently, gesturing to a stretcher on the ground. Eren and Armin very carefully lay Mikasa down on her back.
Her eyes were blank and she looked out of it from the pain. The pain was still very real for her, but it was so bad that she was starting to go into shock from it.
"This is bad, she needs to be treated right away! She has broken ribs, and being on horseback only made them worse", the doctor confirmed urgently.
Eren's face was expressing fear and worry, his heart sunk at how urgent the doctor sounded. He looked down, trembling furiously.
"She's only hurt this badly because I got captured...this is all my fault..."
He looked back down at her, a numb feeling coming over him. "I'm sorry Mikasa...", was all he could say.
Mikasa looked up at him weakly, and lifted her hand in an assuring gesture. "Eren...I'm fine...", she tried to assure him, but her voice was strained and it sounded painful for her to just breathe let alone talk.
"No...you're NOT fine Mikasa...please...stop putting on a brave face just to make me feel better..."
Mikasa's eyes softened weakly, she could see the worry in his eyes and knew he wasn't convinced.
"Oh Eren...I'm too weak to comfort him...I hate this...seeing him beat himself up so badly..."
"We need to get her back to the medical building...make sure her lungs don't collapse from this...", the doctor muttered to another medic urgently but quietly, knowing the extent of Mikasa's injury.
It wasn't until late at night was everyone back inside Wall Rose at their bunkers in the building. Eren and Armin couldn't sleep though.
They were sitting in a long empty hallway on a bench, both of them quiet. The hallway was lit up from large candles on the walls. Sasha was with them too, though she did fall asleep on the floor, leaning against the bench.
Behind the door in front of them were the doctors still treating Mikasa. It had been a couple hours since Eren or Armin last saw their girl...so they were naturally anxious...no, more like terrified.
Armin's expression was of worry, as he continuing gazing down at the wooden floor. Eren was silent, clenching his fists.
The somber silence was broken when they heard a low but somewhat loud groan of pain from behind the door...it sounded like Mikasa's voice. It was followed by the muffled sound of the doctor's voice. They couldn't make out what she had said, but they assumed she was comforting Mikasa...maybe helping her get comfortable in bed.
It made Eren only tense up more, as he glared down at his hands which were balled into fists and pressed firmly against his lap.
"This is all my fault...if I hadn't...", he growled, his voice trembling. "It's not your fault Eren", Armin spoke then, softly.
"But IT IS Armin!", Eren snapped, his voice getting louder, shaking furiously. "Hear me out Eren..! Logically you're not the reason Mikasa's hurt", Armin pressed, firmer now.
Eren blinked, looking at him. "Back when you were first captured by Bertolt and Reiner, Mikasa's head was hit pretty hard in the blast. She was unconscious for five hours...she most likely had and still has a concussion...", Armin explained.
Eren froze, going silent as he listened. "If she had one as bad as I think she did, its no wonder she got hurt by a titan. She couldn't think straight with a head injury...not to mention her focus was on saving you...", Armin finished.
Eren didn't say anything, he looked back down, in horror and shock.
"She...went into battle with a concussion...? Damn it Mikasa...why?!"
"Eren, Armin", a voice came then. They looked up, seeing Jean approaching them. "Jean...you're still up?", asked Armin.
"How's Mikasa..? Any word?", Jean asked, looking worried. Eren looked down, not answering. "We haven't heard much for about three hours now...all we know is her ribs were fractured...badly according to the doctor", Armin explained softly.
Jean frowned, he then glared down at Eren. "Eren", he said then, firmly. Eren looked up at Jean, not saying anything.
"If we weren't right outside Mikasa's room, I'd have beat you to the ground ten times over by now. She's only hurt this bad because you got caught...so next time you decide to act like a reckless idiot, consider everyone...no...consider what lengths Mikasa will go to in order to save you...put yourself in her shoes out there...and maybe next time this won't happen", Jean warned him.
Eren's eyes softened. "I know...you're right...", he answered grimly, looking back down. Jean frowned, annoyed but didn't say anything.
"That's not fair Jean, Eren would have had Reiner if Bertolt hadn't...", Armin began to point out. "This isn't the first time Mikasa got injured for Eren...remember her bruises after Annie kicked her?", Jean cut him off.
Before Armin could argue back, the door to Mikasa's room opened. They all froze, looking at the doctor anxiously.
"How is she?", Eren was the first to ask, his tone anxious as he and Armin stood up. The doctor exhaled, looking relieved.
"She's one tough cookie...I don't know if its because she's an Ackerman, or if people of Asian blood are stronger but she's going to be okay. Her lungs didn't collapse, and she should be healed within a few weeks. She'll need lots of rest to recover, I suggest strict bed rest for at least a week", the doctor replied.
It felt like a weight had been lifted in the room. All of them relaxed, as Armin breathed a sigh of relief. "Can I...see her?", Eren asked.
"Yes, she's very weak right now but I'm sure she'd want to see you...she kept asking for you throughout a good portion of the treatment", the doctor admitted with a smile.
"That sounds like our Mikasa...", Armin said with a relieved smile. Eren also felt some relief at hearing this.
"Even when you're like this, you're still looking for me...Mikasa..."
The doctor led Eren into the recovery room, while Armin and Jean stayed outside to wait. As Eren entered the room, he froze, getting a good look at Mikasa.
She was resting in bed, her back was propped by several pillows so she was in a more reclined position. Her red scarf was folded neatly on the nightstand by an empty vase. The window was cracked open to let some cool air in, and there was just a small dim lit candle lighting the room.
Her eyes were closed, and she appeared to be resting a bit more comfortably. Eren assumed they gave her some form of pain medicine so she could rest.
He approached her bedside quietly, not wanting to wake her, as he sat down on the chair in front of her bedside.
As he watched her rest...he couldn't stop thinking about what she said to him back there. Thanking him for wrapping her scarf, seeming to accept this was the end...
"Mikasa...why? Why were you...so easily accepting of the fact...we were gonna be eaten? You were smiling...you were...at peace it felt like...how could...you be in that state of mind? No...how couldn't I have noticed...?
It made him physically sick...the thought of Mikasa so easily accepting death. He had fought and fought for them to live...and yet...Mikasa seemed so hopeless...had she always felt this hopeless and he had never noticed?
Before his thoughts could linger any further, Mikasa stirred softly. She gave a soft groan of discomfort, before opening her eyes a bit.
Eren's eyes softened, watching her. "Hey...", he decided to say. Mikasa's eyes opened a bit more, and she turned her head to face him. "Eren...", relief washed over her features at seeing him.
"He's here...he's at my side...I knew he would be..."
"How are you feeling...?", Eren asked softly. "I'm fine...better with the medicine they gave me...", Mikasa answered quietly.
"The doctor wants you to rest for a few weeks, and so do I. You need to recover from two injuries Mikasa...", Eren told her.
Mikasa's eyes softened. "The doctor told you...about my concussion...?", she asked, her breath staggering a little from the strain of talking.
"Armin did...Mikasa...why would you do something so stupid..?! You could have passed out from your concussion right in the middle of all that, and been eaten...", Eren asked, in frustration and worry.
"You were captured Eren...I wasn't going to just wait back at the wall...not knowing if you were saved, and while everyone else risked their lives...", Mikasa pointed out, again a bit breathlessly. She visibily winced, clutching her chest.
"Easy...don't talk too much...I'm sorry I just...", Eren looked down. "It's alright Eren...", Mikasa assured him softly, understanding. She knew he was just scared and worried about her.
They were silent for a few seconds...they both were remembering what happened. Mikasa's confession, the Smiling Titan...
"Mikasa...", Eren broke the ice then. Mikasa looked at him weakly, waiting for him to continue. "I need to ask...are you...happy?, he asked.
Mikasa blinked, confused by his question. "I mean...do you...cherish life...? Do you...want to live your life...despite how screwed up everything is?", Eren pressed gently.
"Eren...of course I cherish life. I know...the world is cruel...but it's also...beautiful. Life has our friends...you...", Mikasa replied, having to take breaks in between the words due to her injury.
Eren clenched his fists. "Then why...WHY would you accept death so easily...?! Why were you smiling...why...why were you...", Eren didn't notice tears starting to fall from his face as he questioned her, his voice cracking.
Mikasa's eyes softened, she weakly reached her hand out to Eren's, touching it. Eren looked up at her, biting his lip.
"Eren...I smiled because...the last thing I wanted...was for you to die in the state you were in. Cursing yourself...blaming yourself for everything...if we were going to die...I could never...rest peacefully knowing you died like that...", Mikasa explained weakly, tears forming in her eyes.
Eren went silent...he was speechless at her answer. "Mikasa...she really cares for me this much...why...why haven't I..."
"But to answer your question again...Eren, of course I cherish life...I didn't want to die back there. I told myself it was enough for me..that I lived a good life, and I could accept death...but deep down...", Mikasa began to tremble, tears flooding her eyes.
"I never wanted to die Eren...I want us to have a peaceful future together...! You, me, Armin, our friends...I want us...to have a family again...I want it to be like things were with your parents...", Mikasa confessed, her voice shaky.
"I want that to be us Eren...I want us to live together...have children...and just...live a peaceful life. Even if its inside the walls, I don't care...having a life, a future with you...is the most precious freedom I could ever hope for...it's what I've been fighting for this whole time", Mikasa confessed, tears still sparkling in her eyes.
In that moment, time seemed to stop for Eren. His heart skipped a beat as he finally understood. "Mikasa...", he stood up, and gently sat on the edge of her bed. "Eren...?", Mikasa blinked softly, and then she felt him pull her into his arms.
He held her gently, stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry Mikasa...all this time...I've been fighting the titans, but along the way...I think I...forgot what I was truly fighting for...I want a future with you too...more than anything...and I promise you Mikasa..we're going to have that future. Our children...our friends...we're all going to live peaceful, normal lives...of freedom. I will give you that future, I swear it...", Eren assured her. His words made Mikasa tremble, but not in fear. Her heart was racing, and she felt this great sense of security and comfort...and something even more powerful...love.
"Oh Eren...", Mikasa looked up at him...and as their eyes locked, for the first time Eren saw Mikasa in a new light. He no longer saw her as a childhood friend...but he saw her...as his soulmate. The woman he loved, and would spend his life with.
Without speaking any words, the two kissed softly, this kiss was much more passionate than their first. Though it was also gentle.
Outside the room, Jean and Armin were still sitting on the bench. "Oi Sasha, wake up, it'll be morning soon", Jean said, annoyed as Sasha drooled on his leg, still fast asleep.
"Man how much longer is Eren gonna be in there?", he added. "I'd imagine a while...considering what happened...", Armin pointed out.
"I know she's hurt badly, but he's practically spending the night", Jean scoffed. "I'm not talking about her injury...", Armin said then. Jean blinked.
"You were unconscious...but...back there, before Eren was able to learn that new ability...something happened between Eren and Mikasa", Armin began.
Jean frowned. "What exactly happened...?", he asked. "Well, to put it bluntly...they kissed", Armin answered. Jean froze, all color drained from his face. "Y-You can't be serious!", he said in disbelief.
Back inside the recovery room, Eren and Mikasa broke their kiss softly. Mikasa exhaled shakily and heavily. "Mikasa...are you okay...?", Eren asked worriedly.
Mikasa smiled tearfully. "Yes...its just my ribs...I...don't think I've ever been happier...", Mikasa admitted.
Eren smiled...and he decided to watch over her for the rest of the night.