[AN:] Some short and funny ShikaTema fic I just thought of this morning. 500 words, enjoy!

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Shikamaru regretted doing a lot of things. He regretted having to get up, having to actually do something, actually having to be a ninja sometimes, and usually regretted going outside in general—

None of that, however, was on the same level on how much he regretted introducing Temari to his mom on one day where the Suna ninja was in Konoha for a side mission.

The two females were quite similar in their personalities, but he'd never thought that his own mother would...would...

"Can you believe it? Despite how he looks, he was such a clingy toddler! Look at this picture, Temari! He wouldn't stop holding unto my leg—he was three at the time—when we had him stay over the Yamanaka's household for his father and I to go on a vacation for three days."

Shikamaru groaned at the sight in front of him.

While the male sat across from the two at the kitchen-table, mostly to pretend that he was somewhere else, his mom decided to show Temari embarrassing baby photos of him from the baby book he wished he'd destroyed.

Temari looked at the picture and sweetly smiled, but not before looking at the current Shikamaru and annoyingly smirking. Nara wasn't one to give out too much profanity, but he felt the urge to tell her to fuck off if she was going to crack a joke at his expense.

How was he supposed to know that his kinda-girlfriend-kinda-not and his mom would hit it off so quickly? Sure, they were both feisty, and independent, and loud and always getting on his nerves and—

Oh. Ohhh...

He kinda...He kinda dug his own grave the minute he decided to get the type of girl that his mother would nag him constantly and constantly and constantly and constantly to fawn for.

"This picture," Temari said in-between chuckles as she pointed at one page, "how did he get all that red, blue, and orange paint on him?"

In an instant, the male in question got out of his seat. "Mom, no, please don't tell her—"

Yoshino hushed at her son. "Shikamaru, don't be so embarrassed!"

Temari held the book even tighter, and Shikamaru knew from her face that he was never going to live this down.

"That was about three weeks after we came back from our vacation. What you see there is not paint but, guess this—"

"Mom...please don't—"

"Juice powder! Shikamaru was such a strange eater at the time, my smart little boy was able to steal some powders in the cabinet and mix it up, but he was silly enough to pour it all over him! He went up to his father and I and said proudly—"

The brunette adult mimicked and therefore humiliated her son even more, putting her hands up like a flailing toddler and saying, "'I 'es a' artist,' mummi' and daddi'!"

Temari lost it, almost guffawing outta her seat; Shikamaru sat back down and banged his head on the table.

Women are demons.

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