This is just a short chapter by itself. I can't believe it took this long for me to get this out… Nah, I'm lying. I was just procrastinating from time to time while writing my comments in reply to your comments.
bastidaswilliam2005
well it is a while but you finally update the fic for celebrating i went back and read it from the first chapter until the current one later on will be reading lemon gamer izuku
Hahaha, I'm glad to have finally been able to update. I've been wanting to get back to my writing for a while now ever since I disappeared for months on end. I was surprised you celebrated my return, but I'm glad that you've never given up on me updating my story. With how long I've been gone, there would be no doubt that some readers would think I've abandoned the story. Then again, you never know. Even still, thanks for celebrating my return, and I hope you enjoy Lemon Gamer Izuku. Trust me, it might be an even better work of art than Games Make Legends.
Valaista
Awesome concept
Keep up the amazing work
Why thank you Valaista for your words. Since I haven't seen a lot of these types of fanfics, (from my point of view at least) I wanted to make my own and have it become a brilliant work of art that will see its end someday which will resolve on a great note. I'm glad to see that you're enjoying the story so far.
SandaKagami
You know what, I am happy with that. I was wondering how you were going to have Naruto pass because I didn't think he was better than Lee just yet. Having his imouto be his second wind works for me.
Trust me, even I thought he wasn't better than Lee yet, even with the game giving him the advantage in the story that he needed. I had to look on a few realistic sides since there were still some things that Naruto couldn't do without having the proper resources, and he also would still be limited in his arsenal. So basically, I had to work hard a bit to get him what he needed to pass, but it still wasn't enough. So in the end, I used his imouto since she would be able to guarantee him victory because of Lee's weakness at the last moment. We could talk more on this, but I'd rather save it for later, hehe.
brasheril-holmestalentsmaster
I loved these last two chapters!
There was definitely a noticeable improvement from chapter 11.
The fight was AWESOME! Fluid, organic, flowing from one place to another, using the battlefield to the best of ability... Wow, just wow. I can, perhaps, think of only half a dozen stories from the hundreds of Naruto stories that I read that can compare to this one (in regards to battle and how awesome it is and is developed).
If you want, I can leave you a link to them in another review, so you could get a few ideas.
Truly, if the fight was like this in canon, the show would be at least 10 times cooler. This sh*t was LIT.
Grammar is really good. Paragraphs are just the exact length they should be, so they don't overwhelm readers with information nor underwhelm our expectations.
The structure of the story and the flow between the scenes is something right out of a Avengers movie, no errors in continuity.
Plot is incredible and is picking up speed, which is a plus, and, amazingly, not sacrificing depth and development of characters for it.
The descriptions of actions and reactions, thoughts and feelings are perfect in my opinion. More robust, when it deals with a higher number of characters or particularly impacting scenes, and shorter/more compact, when it deals with specific characters' reactions to certain things in series.
The world-building also went (got kicked up) a notch - who am I kidding? three notches - at least. Especially in regards to 'support' characters aka the girls/women in the harem. Props to you.
The chapter is a mighty fine length. If you want to do shorter chapters like this and update more often is just as fine as longer chapters with slower updates.
Dialogue, Interactions and Characters' lines are extremely well polished. Superb.
Did I say how BADASS and frankly ASTOUNDING the fight was?! Because if I did, let me do so again. IT WAS!.
I anxiously wait to read more soon. Over and Out.
PS: I hope I'm helping with these longer reviews and throwing a few ideas here and there. The Substitution Jutsu was awesome to read in your take. The water jutsus too (for a moment I thought you'd have Naruto combine the dragons to make a water Hydra that moved semi-automatically to help him fight) were well thought of.
PPS: I once upon a time really liked gender-bent characters in harem stories, not so much now, I kinda feel conflicted about it. It somehow seems to somehow cheapen the story? Sorry, even I don't have my mind made up on this issue. I forgot to mention this during an earlier review. I feel they don't add much to the plot (normally) by being female, other than just giving the MC more women. I hope that there is a twist somewhere around in your story to break things up in regards to that. Anyway, since it's so late in the story and you write so well, this time, I'll defer to you on the Suna 3 being girls.
Over and out.
Um… I… Thank you! I actually didn't know how to respond to both of your reviews when I came across them. To be honest, I'm not used to high praise, even with everyone that does enjoy my work from what I've seen. However, I'm not gonna let that stop me! Even still, let me properly reply to your review(s).
Firstly, I just wanna say I appreciate your reviews on my story. It really means a lot to me, and I'm glad that you see my story as a good sign of pacing and development as everyone moves along in the story. I didn't want this to just be some story with smut and fights here and there. I wanted it to have pacing with an actual development on the story line as I change what truly is the canon story of Naruto. That's my plan for this book. And I'm not gonna stop writing it until I see this book come to a proper end.
Secondly, I'm very glad that the structuring of my paragraphs seemed well suited for you and all the other readers to properly engage into my story, and read it for yourselves. I know that an Author's style of writing and much more determines if their story is worth reading, so I'm glad you voiced your opinion on how you felt about it. I still have a lot more work to be done on my style, but I'm very grateful for your words in this regard.
Thirdly, I gotta say that I'm delighted by your outlook on the story's pacing from how it slowly built up over time, with every character that I bring into the story getting their proper development, even with their short arcs (the older women of the series to say the least for now). Knowing the factors that run within the Narutoverse, and considering that this is a fanfiction, I can't always plan for everything, so I have to move in whatever I can into the story without rushing it or making the characters feel underdeveloped if I want to make them relevant and important to the story. This especially goes for the gals in the story since I stated before that this game is based around the thought of Naruto gaining the ULTIMATE harem. So with that being in mind, I want to make the characters better, or more "driven" than their canon selves. This will take a while to properly do.
Fourth, it's nice to know that you were satisfied with the fight and the other actions that were displayed. When it comes to my fight scenes, I try to use everything I can around the characters to change the outcome of their battles. Especially when it comes to jutsus, techniques, and other scenarios that'll play a big part for the characters to drive them further into the story. So I'm constantly planning when it comes to the fights since I think taijutsu is more of the main focus than the jutsus in the Narutoverse, and the other factors such as Genjutsu, Kenjutsu, Fuinjutsu (even while it's been rarely shown), and much more. Bringing that into the mind, I'm very glad that the fight was badass and astounding to you based on your taste. I'm not sure what everyone else thinks, but I'm glad to have your thoughts on my book filled with twists and turns.
Fifth, you're definitely helping with the longer reviews, and don't worry about Gaara and Kankuro being female. Even if the characters do get genderbent in here (which will likely be on rare occasions), they will still serve a big purpose for the pushing of the story. I can definitely promise you that.
Finally, thank you for your comments on your previous review that you left before this one. I'm happy to know that you're enjoying the character styles that I've written out for them, and much more. I'm not sure what everyone else thinks, or what more I need to improve on, but I'll gladly take all your words and advice to art. So thank you for your words. I'll definitely be keeping them in mind from now on.
Tsukoblue
Gaara and his/her (depending on what gender you made the younger two) siblings are not triplets
Temari is 3 years older than Naruto
Kankuro is 2 years older and Gaara is the same age as Naruto
I made Gaara and Kankuro girls, but I really didn't know what else to call them besides the sand siblings and the sand trio. Not to mention, I didn't know that both of them were older than Gaara, so I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, because now you've just given me some ideas for this.
Primarx
an unusual take on naruto preliminaries battle. glad u start writing again
Well, I had to be original in some way with the matches. Originally, Lee wasn't supposed to fight Naruto for plot reasons. However, since a few suggested he should, I was like "Hmm… Meh. Why the hell not?" And I'm also glad to be writing for all of you guys and gals again. I missed reading your comments to every new chapter I make.
hinatanamikazesama
I love it soooooo much i hope NARUTO-SAMA x kurenai
Naruto X Kurenai will differently be happening soon. It's confirmed by me since their lemon chapter will be during the one month training session before the final part of the exams. So with that, I'm glad you loved how this turned out. And don't worry, you'll be seeing Kurenai more soon enough.
Storm Carpet
Thanks for the chapter and hard work
You're welcome Storm. I wanna be a better author, so I knew I couldn't quit now. Especially when everyone that's viewed my stories so far has been keeping me going. So you can definitely expect a lot more from me dattebayo.
hinatanamikazesama
Wowww this is good i love this fict i love NARUTO-SAMA
Then I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I'm doing my best to develop Naruto and everyone else, so I gotta do my best and work hard.
Primarx
didn't expect for u to pop up so suddenly though glad u did
Trust me, are we both glad I popped up after being gone for so long. I missed my interactions with everyone on
biginferno
fantastic chapter as for the harem besides those I previously mentioned are you going to alter time and possibly bring Rouran to Naruto's time and make Queen Sara one of his wives and what about Ameyuri will she be coming back to life and join his harem and also who's the alpha or alpha's of his large harem Tayuya? Samui? Temari? Fem Kyubbi? Ameyuri if she is added? and also will Kushina return to life and get the enjoy meeting and being around Naruto and all his future wives and her future grandchildren whether she joins his harem or not
While I would see that as a great idea, I couldn't necessarily do it because of one person that was important to the plot of the Lost Tower Movie. That person is Mukade, AKA, Anrokuzan. The major plot behind the movie was for him to travel back in time and conquer the universe using the power of the Ryūmyaku chakra, which is a powerful source of chakra that can only be used and exist within the past since it was sealed off by Minato to prevent anyone else from using it as only the blood heirs of the kingdom can open or close the flow of the Ryūmyaku, even though anyone can use it while it's open. Not to mention, if I bring it to the present, then that means I'll have to take so many precautions in correcting any plot holes that will resort in doing this.
Not to mention, since Mukade is a missing nin from Suna, I doubt no one wouldn't be cautious of him in the present if I bring Roran to the present. I would explain more on this topic, but then we'd be here forever. However, I will figure out a way to bring Sara into his harem, and her mother Seramu as well since I've been doing my research on both characters. Though I'll need to conduct more research by watching the movie as I get my info.
As for Ameyuri, I definitely will be bringing her back, but that will only be done in the shippuden part of the series. That's all I can say. I'm working on some ideas to bring her back, but it'll require a lot of work and some planning. As for the Alpha(s) of his harem, I haven't really decided on it yet, but how I'll decide on who the Alpha(s) are, is by their villages, control and leadership over the girls, and much more. It'll all depend, as some of the characters haven't been added yet for me to properly state who will have more authority over the girls.
Finally, rest assured, Kushina is without a doubt, getting the chance to come back to life and see her grandchildren and much more. If I'll add her to the harem? I might, but it depends on the circumstances. Yet you can expect to be able to meet his wives and her grandchildren someday.
Guest
No offence but I personally dislike the whole thing around the female carbon copy or whoever she is in naruto's mind and how he got a curse mark but other than that it is a great story. Will you be adding moegi cause you were kinda suggesting you were going too. Hopefully you haven't given up on this because it is actually a good story
I promise you that I haven't given up on this story. I'm far from giving up. As for Moegi, I most likely will be adding her since I did hint at it with Naruto's sensual abilities drastically affecting her. Now then, I don't have a problem at all with you disliking his carbon copy, and the fact of him getting a curse mark. However, both of these things will be important to the plot that's going on within my book, so I did them all for the right reason. You'll see soon enough later on. Aside from that, I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope you stick around for more.
Mr.LightYagami
will tsunade be in harem
Tsunade will be in the harem. I just have to finish the chunin exams to get to her first, but she will be here. I can tell you that.
Swagwell
I'm thinking having blonde bombshells involved in the harem, ino, Samui, Yugito, tsunade, and Temari just off the top of my head
All of them will be added, but the only ones that will be added are Ino, Temari, and Tsunade for now. However, I still have to get to them first before they can be added, then I'll add Samui and Yugito. I got a lot of work ahead of me though.
shockdevock
love this story so far hope you don't drop it thanks for a great read
Don't worry, I'm not gonna drop my story, and I will be sticking around to see it's end. Thank you for checking out my book, and I hope you enjoy more of it.
ThunderClaw03
Great job keep it up. You could post this story on other sites that have less restrictive rules about what you can post and what you can't. One site is Ao3 check it out update soon
I do officially have an Ao3 account, so I'm definitely planning on moving my stories over there. Trust me, some jerk stated to me about getting Lemon Gamer Izuku removed and then said they would report it. I forgot their reasons as to why they said it would be removed, but I can tell you for a fact that they were just getting it removed for dumb reasons when they didn't even understand what was going on. Other than that, I'll keep doing my best for the story.
Orchestra Of Order
That's the one issue I have with these types of fanfics. An unrealistically large penis further portraying the ignorant view that you need an extremely big cock to please a woman or girl. The average adult size is 5.5 inches with 4 inches of girth. Let's say we go on the bigger side for the characters age 5 inches is believable. 13.5 inches is the record according to Google. A vaginal passage is 3-4 inches while it can stretch 200% to accommodate a large penis and well giving birth...
While I completely understand this is fanfiction what's the point of giving a thirteen year old an adult sized cock if you want to keep him as a shota basically? I'm not calling your fanfiction bad, I just will never understand the flawed mentality and misconstrued point of view. If you have a big cock and don't know How to use it you will not please your partner.
That's my issue with this fic.
Trust me, it's a gray area, I know. However, a lot of people have complained about it, to which point I am used to it. Other than that, I stated this once before, and I'll say it again. Naruto is not a shota. I repeat, NOT, a shota. Shota's are mostly underage boys from the ages of 9-12, even though they technically range to 5-13, where the age of consent is 13 in Japan, yet you'd have to have adult permission for that to be stated so if you're 13.
Moving on from that, the term of shota actually doesn't apply to Naruto, even though I made him 13 in the story. Basically, I changed everyone's ages by a bit. Back to the topic, this is the Narutoverse, where ninjas exist, and Naruto is one of them. And since he's a ninja, Naruto is classified as an adult in the eyes of the public for being a shinobi even at a young age. He can lie, cheat, steal, kill, and much more, but it'll still be seen as him being an "adult" doing adult actions because he's been given the responsibility as an "adult" shinobi. Meaning that sex at his age, especially with someone twice his age, will just be seen as sex between to adults since they're both ninjas or at the age where it would be considered as legal adult activities.
Hopefully I explained that properly like I did the last time. Other than that, Naruto can't be a shota because of what he is in his own universe. This man is a ninja doing things that only adults should be doing. Especially killing. I doubt he could be called a shota especially with the rules that apply to his world.
Guest
hinata
Hinata will be coming soon. I just don't know who she'll come before, or after which girls once I finish the second phase of the exams.
Glmo11
Why not use shadow clone lots of clone
While Naruto does use his clones for his line of work as a ninja, I absolutely hated the idea of Naruto using his clones for sex. This especially goes for the fact that there will be no proper development between him and the girls. Since he's in a game, the blonde can get achievements for using clones in sex when I write it that way, but I think that I'll only use clones when the development hasn't begun yet, or when it's already finished. Besides that, I don't think I really ever allow him to use his clones for sex to be honest.
hinatanamikazesama
Alice how is that? I don't understand..?
Alice wasn't gonna be added to his harem since she's technically an OC, and hasn't served much of a bigger purpose in the story yet. After all, she may be Naruto's sister in the story, but I want everyone to get used to her and see her development before she's even considered on the thoughts of being added to his harem. That's why.
Tsukoblue
This is a really good story but please change the pairings so Naruto is only with Hinata, Sakura and Ino, no one else
Unfortunately, I can't do that. Especially considering what type of story this is. Hopefully, you can respect that, and he already has other women in his harem, so I would never write Naruto to just use them for gaining new powers and not be committed to them.
Primarx
tnx 4 the chapter
You're welcome. Hopefully you're enjoying the story still as I keep working on it.
darkstel
sigh * I really feel sorry for those people who added this story to their favorites ... my deepest condolences to your low sex life
Not cool bro. Not cool at all. I can understand you don't like the story, but jabs like that aren't necessary. You're not the one writing the story, and from your profile, I've seen that you don't even write stories on this site. Hell, if you do write stories, then you can probably do it better than me, but I have yet to see you do so. Look, if you don't like it because of how I write it, then maybe give me some advice to make it better for your taste. Don't just hit me with this, and then up and vanish. That's so lame yo. *sighs* I wish that everyone who's so quick to shoot down this story would at least give me constructive criticism to improve the story. Such a drag.
ReaperDemonIceWolf
Not that I think it's a bad idea to make a chapter replying to comments but would be nice to also have the chapter to the story with them.
Normally, I would do that, but with all the comments I get from time to time, I'm not able to post them before before the story starts, or after the story as they still take up space either way. Even still, I'll get back to posting the comments on every new chapter I make. I got you.
Guest
I've tried to give this story a chance again and it's just so awkward.Sakura is a weird bitchy pushover of a controlling cunt, Naruto is a submissive brat, and it's all just worded weirdly.
You had a good idea but the fruition of the story just isn't there.
Also stop deleting bad reviews so you only see the ones you like.
Firstly, for Sakura being a weird bitchy pushover of a controlling cunt, what would you do if you constantly had to deal with your man or woman constantly getting together with other people? I'm writing her to be reasonable about her emotions as she would express jealousy and anger towards a situation like this. What, you think she would just go like "It's fine, fuck any woman you want and I won't do shit?" No, not at all. I'm pretty sure no woman or man would ever do that in any relationship. There will definitely be jealousy (most likely), and anger (most likely).
For Naruto being a submissive brat, I doubt the last person you'd wanna piss off, is the man or woman you're in a relationship with when you clearly love them. ESPECIALLY if it's someone you've been chasing after for so long. Not to mention, he's not submissive, but the situations he's in will test him to make the right decisions, no matter the consequences that come after. Plus, have you seen the way I'm slowly developing Naruto throughout the story? I'm pretty sure he's far from submissive. That's my opinion though, not yours, so I can't change that. And I'll respect that. Anyone else could say differently, so I'll just hear them out and listen to what they have to say.
Since you say the fruition of my story is there, that's your opinion from what you see though, so I'll respect that and won't change it. Everyone is right to speak their own beliefs. Also, the only reviews I can delete are guest reviews. And even if I can delete other reviews from people with actual accounts, I haven't figured out a way to do it, nor have I deleted comments on this story. Everyone's comments are still here from when they typed them. Please don't accuse me of doing such a thing. Thank you.
deusmxo
Naruto will fight Rock Lee as he has become more serious, and add Kin Tsuchi or Temari to the harem
You definitely got your wishes for both of them. Not to mention, both girls will become part of the harem, so you don't have to worry about just one of them getting in.
Cboylan
I want tsunade and mei added. if later then that's fine.
They definitely will be added into his story. Since I'm going to finish up the Chunin Exams soon, Tsunade will definitely be in his harem a lot faster than Mei will, but she'll be joining his harem too. You can count on it.
HereForSmutLemon
now this is after I read the chapter and all in all it was a good chapter buy idk about how I feel about this "glitch" yet so I'll have to wait and see sofar it's a toss up to where she annoys me but I don't want to say to much until more of the plot has been brought forth. all in all continue the story because I really enjoy it.
Well now I can rest assure you that she serves a bigger purpose, and I'll gladly continue writing my book because you enjoy it. You'll be seeing a lot more chapters from me now on.
HereForSmutLemon
haven't read the chapter 11 yet because I usually like readying your comments first and all I gotta say is to the people criticizing the whole horse cock and shit like that it's a fucking FANFICTION like I get what they mean but when people try to make EVERYTHING realistic it really annoys me so all I gotta say is continue what youre doing and don't let what these people say get to you I honestly enjoy the Lemons and the plot so don't let them try to steer you away from what had made so many people favorite and follow you're story already.
Thank you for your words. It soon enough becomes a problem when you try to make everything realistic over time in a fanfiction when it comes to the universes you're dealing with. Yet, I'm glad you're enjoying everything I'm doing right now for yourself, and I promise that I won't let anyone steer me away from letting you all enjoy the chapters that I continue to make. You can count on it.
jecko
My only complaint I have about this chapter was that it was hard following the story when you were switching between being in Naruto's mindscape and the real world. No double space or italic parenthesis to separate them, cause it was confusing at first not being sure if Naruto was talking to either Alice and Karin or to Nexus, mystery girl
Don't worry Jecko, I've fixed that for future chapters, and it's not going to happen again. From now on, I'll make sure it's much easier to read, before I later go back to edit my work and fix some mistakes. Trust me, I got a lot of editing to do.Phew! I've finally gotten through every comment, so let me just say this. During the second phase of the exams, some fights will not be getting written out. Some of them will stay the same as in canon, such as Sasuke's fight. And some of them won't be getting written at all.So with that being said, the next fight will be the rewritten fight of Ino vs Sakura, and the fight after that will be the rewritten fight of Neji vs Hinata. With that being said, I thank you all for reading this, and I'll see you in my next chapter. Peace out boys and girls. Till next time.