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Hello, readers! I hadn't expected to post a new story so soon, but I was so excited about this one that I've been working on it for quite some time. I'm aiming at a different take on high school AU's, one that's more mature than my last. This story is a little sillier and more lighthearted than what I've been posting lately so it's a great break, and I'm experimenting with romance for the first time (!) because my next story in the works is going to be very heavy and very romance-centric. Think of this story as a nice road in between. Pairings are surprises and essential to the plot.

For now, updates are scheduled to be every two weeks at maximum. Information isn't revealed immediately. Please enjoy!

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Chapter One

…:::Gathering Sources:::…

Metamorphosis: the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form; a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one.

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September

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"Hello! Welcome to Kikyo! My name is Ino Yamanaka."

Ino stared at the latest piece of eye candy to walk into the department store. Business had been a little too busy lately, what with school coming back in session in a few days, and she'd attempted to duck away from the overwhelming crowd of customers. That was when she spotted Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome stroll right through the makeup aisles looking like he needed her to swoop in and rescue him.

Scope. Zero in. Target: locked.

She squeezed her elbows into her sides to make her breasts pop out as best she could in the all-black self-proclaimed trash bag that was her employee uniform. His dark eyes had been scanning the foundations, she noticed. Those perfectly groomed eyebrows and flawless skin of his were clearly a sign that he knew his way around self-care, but from the confusion evident in his expression, makeup didn't seem to be his forte.

"Looking for some foundation, handsome? Your skin doesn't need it," Ino said as brightly as she could. "Some eyeliner, on the other hand –"

"I'm shopping for my girlfriend," he cut her off.

Oh, so there's a goalie, hmm? Ino stepped back a little and smiled even wider, more determined to impress. Just because there was a goalie didn't mean she couldn't score. The stony-eyed glare she received in return didn't faze her in the slightest.

"What a sweetheart! Already know what you want, or are you trying to surprise her for the first time?"

He muttered under his breath that he knew exactly what he was looking for and sidestepped her to move away, reaching for a bottle of dark BB cream. Okay then, thought Ino, we can play this game later. He would have to stop by the cashiers eventually, and she had to get back to her job. She flashed him a dazzling smile and retreated into the growing crowd of mall-goers.

It wasn't until half an hour later that she spotted him making his way over to checkout – not that she had been waiting for him or anything. Of course not. Her eyes lit up, she puffed her chest out, and she hastily moved to intercept him. She cast a quick glance at the items in his cart for research purposes: one black shirt and one navy shirt that were several sizes too big for his lean body, obscuring everything else he had bought beneath.

Whatever. What he bought wasn't important.

"Hey again, handsome." She casually ran a hand through her blonde hair and stepped in front of his cart, then leaned over it and winked at him. Damn her uniform for being so . . . conservative. She could use a little cleavage leverage right about now. "Listen, I know you're shopping for your girlfriend, but if you ever decide you need a girl who's a little more adventurous, I work weekends here until 5 pm."

The boy pointedly glared at her. Had she gone a little too far in her game? Was her flirting actually not working? Impossible! There was probably something on her face. Maybe he was a prude. She watched his dark eyes flicker to the aisle they stood next to and his lips quirked into a smirk.

Without breaking eye contact, he reached into the aisle, grabbed the nearest box of tampons from the shelf, and threw it into the cart in front of Ino.

"I'm late for my date."

Ino stepped back, dumbstruck. The boy took it as an opportunity to plow his cart through to checkout. She didn't even bother to look back as her face grew hot in embarrassment. With a huff of irritation, she balled her hands into fists at her sides and turned on her heels.

What.

An.

Asshole!

…

"Ino, let's go, you're making me late for my date with Five Guys."

"You don't have enough holes in your body to have a date with five guys, Naruto."

Ino huffed, throwing the black apron of her uniform into her locker and slamming it shut. Her friend was leaning against the door frame of the department store's locker room, waggling his eyebrows at her suggestively with his arms crossed over his chest.

"All you need is a mouth," he licked his lips.

From beside him, a pink-haired girl swatted at his shoulder with a laugh. "If we knew you were so desperate to suck dick, Naruto, Ino and I would be glad to hook you up with someone."

"Sakura, I will suck anything at this point to get some damn Five Guys fries in my belly right now, so can we please go?"

"Quit your whining, I'm coming!"

Naruto rolled his eyes as Ino shoved past him. "Someone's a little pissy today."

Ino huffed again. She looped her arm through Sakura's and fell into step beside her as they exited the department store and stepped into the chatter of the mall. "I met this asshole today. This gorgeous asshole, but asshole nonetheless."

Naruto laughed. "You mean you tried to flirt with some hot stranger and he turned you down so now he's an asshole?" He knew Ino was always on the lookout for the latest cute guy to turn on her charms. Flirting was her favorite sport, but she didn't understand the concept of boundaries.

"He really was an asshole!"

"Sure, sure. Did you get a name?"

"Yeah. His name's Asshole."

Naruto rolled his eyes at his blonde counterpart and turned to Sakura. "You were going to tell us something?"

"There's supposedly a new kid at school. Our age."

At this, both Naruto and Ino stopped. Sakura jerked backwards at the sudden movement, her arm still entwined in Ino's.

"No way?" Naruto grinned, excited. "Girl or guy? This is the first new kid at Konoha High in forever!"

"Forehead-girl looking into someone's classified information at school? This is an interesting development." Ino winked at Sakura and nudged her. "Welcome to the wild side."

Sakura rolled her eyes. She dragged on Ino's arm to keep them moving. "I did not open any classified documents! Danzo asked me to put his information into the system this morning. And no, Ino, there was no picture on file."

"It's a he?!" Ino exclaimed. "New boy toy?"

"New friend?" Sakura corrected.

"Who knows?" Naruto nudged Ino teasingly. "Maybe he's that asshole you just met."

They were coming upon the mall's food court, overcrowded with teenagers trying to squeeze in any final semblance of summer vacation before school set in. Naruto grabbed Sakura's hand as they tried to maneuver their way through the flocks of perfumes, body sprays, and insecurities.

"Choo-choo!" he yelled out, leading the way and pumping his hand in the air like a train conductor. "Choo-choo, coming through!"

"Naruto!"

Ino tried to hide her face in one hand as Sakura pulled on her other. They were snaking through the crowds to the Five Guys restaurant nestled in the center of the food court options. Sakura openly laughed at the grin plastered on Naruto's face; the boy fully relished in their humiliation and knew they loved him anyway.

When the trio was finally seated at a table behind an unusually high mound of French fries and six burgers (four for Naruto, two for Ino and Sakura respectively), Naruto turned his attention to Sakura. Around a mouthful of beef, he said, "So what else do we know about the new kid?"

Sakura looked thoughtful for a moment, unsure of how much information was classified. "He moved here a month ago from Kumo –"

"Wait, a month?" Ino threw her hands up dramatically. "And no one's seen or heard of him? Impossible. What is he, the mafia or something?"

"Maybe his family is really shy."

"Or maybe they're criminals on the run."

"Chew your food before you speak, Naruto. Or better yet, just don't speak at all."

"You love me, really, Ino."

"Anyway," Sakura reached for a fry, "his transcripts are impeccable. Straight A's, extra-curriculars –"

"Just cut to the chase, Forehead, and tell us his name!"

At the unwanted pet name, Sakura scoffed. "Classified. And I don't mean classified as in I'm trying to get back at you for calling me Forehead. I mean I couldn't access any of his personal information like his name or whatever. Just put his grades on file."

Naruto swallowed the last bite of his first burger and licked the stray ketchup from his lips before he sat back with his hands laced behind his head. "Whatever his name is, we're going to be the best welcoming committee this kid's ever seen, got it? Tell the gang. Being the new kid sucks."

"Our gang," Ino scrunched her nose at the word, "doesn't need to get any bigger. Besides, what if he's an asshole like you said?" She made to grab for the finger Naruto wagged in her face.

"No picking on the new kid for at least a week until we get to know him," the blond warned her. "Those are the rules. Asshole or not, we've got to give him a chance. Now come on, I promised we'd meet up with everyone at The Spot once we were done."

There was no arguing with Naruto. Ino sighed and picked lamely at her burger, her ego bruised, as Sakura munched away happily.

…

In a particularly unassuming neighborhood, there was a house.

There was nothing remarkable about the house in any way, except that it had been newly occupied. A single light illuminated the kitchen window from where a teenage boy was leaning over a dinner of tomato soup and croutons. He blew at a spoonful to cool it down, his eyes trained on the laptop in front of him playing some show or other, and had been about to take a sip when a voice broke his concentration:

"Um, Sasuke?"

Sasuke Uchiha looked up from his soup and show to find his brother staring at him from the doorway with eyebrows drawn in concern, holding up a bag of trash in one hand and a box in the other.

A box of tampons.

A box of tampons that his brother had found in the trash.

Sasuke's trash.

"I was taking out the trash and – I wasn't snooping, I promise, it was quite obvious but – um . . . Is there something we need to talk about?"

Sasuke had never seen his brother look so confused in his life. He let out an uncharacteristic howl of laughter.

"Jesus fuck, no, Itachi. Get whatever you're thinking out of your head." His stomach protested; he hadn't laughed in such a long time, especially since his summer had been downright miserable. It seemed to only make Itachi more concerned, so he settled for the truth. "This girl wouldn't leave me alone when I was shopping for school supplies today. I bought those because I told her I had a girlfriend I was shopping for."

Itachi let a little smile grace his lips. He was more than relieved to see a smile return to his brother's face, let alone a laugh. "You went through all that trouble to avoid a girl? You know if you could work some charm on them, you'd have an actual girlfriend instead of pretending to shop for one."

Sasuke snorted into his soup.

". . . Boyfriend, then?" Itachi asked, amused.

"And have to care about someone else's feelings? No thank you."

"Ah," Itachi mused as he placed the box of tampons on the kitchen counter and tied the trash bag closed. "I see you enjoy the company of brick walls and rocks. Not as enjoyable to have sex with, I must say."

Sasuke choked on his soup. "For fuck's sake, Itachi –!"

Itachi threw the box of tampons at him, interrupting his protest. "Put those tampons in the donation bin by the library on your next run, will you? Such a waste of perfectly good product." And with that, he left to put the trash outside.

Sasuke decided he was going to lock his door from then on. He had an experiment to carry out once school started, and he couldn't risk Itachi altering any of his hard-earned data.

…

One week later, Sakura was the first person to meet the new kid.

Word had gotten around all of town that there was a new student at Konoha High for the first time in years, but no one had seen him yet. Naruto had excitedly informed his friends of his plan to take him under their wing and show him around the town; an unofficial Welcome Committee, he had enthusiastically exclaimed to a wave of eye-rolls.

When the new student walked into the front office on Monday morning, Sakura was unexpectedly underwhelmed.

He shuffled in through the front door looking like he had rolled out of bed and then rolled around in the gravel of the school parking lot. His jet-black hair was stuck up in all sorts of directions and pulled back in others, long enough to end at the green scarf tied thickly around his neck. The eyes behind his turtle-shell glasses were dark, heightened by the darkness under them that could only come from a severe lack of sleep and the blotchiness of his skin tone.

"New face!" Shizune said cheerfully from where she sat at the reception desk to Sakura's right, drawing the dark eyes of the boy to her. "You must be Sasuke Uchiha from Kumogakure!"

Sakura saw Sasuke shift uncomfortably beneath her gaze. "That obvious?"

"You're the first new student in Konoha in over a decade, so it's a little obvious." Shizune laughed politely. "I'm Ms. Shizune. Mr. Shimura has been expecting you, but he's a little busy right now so we've had a student of ours volunteer to help you out."

"I don't think I'll be needing any help –"

"Sasuke Uchiha?"

Sakura chose to try to rescue Sasuke from a situation he was clearly uncomfortable with. Maybe he was a little shy, she thought. Maybe he had been bullied at his past school, what with him clearly being overweight and awkward; she tried not to glance at his large stomach that barely fit beneath his green school blazer and oversized pants.

The boy raised one thick eyebrow at her.

Sakura smiled warmly at him and held out her hand. "I'm Sakura Haruno. Mr. Shimura asked me to help you settle in."

Sasuke looked down at her hand, but before he could return the gesture, Shizune's ringing phone interrupted the scene. The woman smiled at both of them as she answered the call. She put her hand over the speaker, whispered, "Good luck!" and waved them away.

Sakura withdrew her hand in favor of motioning for Sasuke to follow her. She handed him a folder stuffed neatly with papers.

"Mr. Shimura – he's the principal, in case you didn't know – asked me to help you settle in. Your schedule is in that folder, along with a few pamphlets about the school, some clubs, lunch options, and a little map –"

"Sakura."

"Your schedule says your first class is Advanced Fundamentals in Business which is pretty annoying to have as your first –"

"Sakura."

"But Asuma's a pretty good teacher if you look past –"

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to meet dark eyes that were clearly frustrated.

"Do you always talk this much?"

Wait, what?

The world seemed to stop. In the distance, a record scratch tore through the silence of Sakura's mind. Her eyebrows shot up. How rude, she thought, frowning. A dozen different scenarios raced through her head in an instant: Sasuke had been kicked out of his old school for being an asshole. He had been bullied too much to stay. He was trying to turn over a new leaf in Konoha by being the tough guy. He was abused at home. She watched him sigh, run a hand through his hair, and grimace when his fingers were met with resistance from what looked to be hair gel.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke muttered. "Look, this is great. Thanks. But I'm sure I can manage on my own. This isn't exactly my first rodeo."

Sakura smiled thinly at him, clearly deflated. Sorry wasn't going to cut it. "Of course. Nice to meet you, Sasuke. Good luck."

She left him standing. Alone.

The new kid was an asshole. She had to report back to Naruto.

…

Kiba Inuzuka was the second lucky person to encounter Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto was, unfortunately, one of his best friends. When the boy wanted him to jump, Kiba asked how high and jumped even higher for him. He had begrudgingly accepted Naruto's plea to make friends with the new kid, even if he believed their already-large social circle didn't need any more expanding. And so, there he was, slamming his food platter onto a table in the cafeteria at lunch across the heavyset new boy.

He removed his green beanie and ruffled his shaggy brown hair, not caring that it stuck wildly on edge.

"Ay, new kid!" His toothy grin was met with a glare. "You seemed a little lonely. The name's Kiba." He clapped Sasuke roughly on the back, jarring the Uchiha's glasses to the edge of his nose.

"Charmed," Sasuke replied venomously.

Kiba ignored the tone. He sat down and waved around a fork of broccoli. "Sasuke, I heard. We aren't used to having a new kid around so I guess everyone's just been ignoring you, huh? It's cool, though, my friends and I agreed we'd try and make you feel right at home."

"There's more of you?"

Was that an eye-roll? Kiba winked at him regardless. "We're the only people you want to know, trust me. The coolest people in town. I could even help you out at the gym, yeah? Packing on a little weight there." He playfully swatted at the belly of the boy from beneath the table, barking out a laugh. "Like jelly! Watch what you eat, man!"

He jokingly shoved his broccoli onto Sasuke's platter of food before taking a bite of his own. That was funny, right? He hummed in appreciation at his own humor, not noticing Sasuke's lip curl in displeasure.

"Shikamaru's gotten into a bit of trouble in Woodshop, though, so my friends are going to be a little late. I was in P.E. so I missed it, but apparently that lazy bastard almost lost a finger! Serves him right, I swear, to be anywhere near a damn chainsaw . . ."

Kiba waved around his fork as he spoke animatedly, bits of spaghetti sauce flicking onto Sasuke's plate and green tie. He had been about to get to Asuma's reaction when Sasuke's baritone cut cleanly through the conversation.

"No offense, but is there some other tree you could be barking up?" Sasuke glared flatly at him. "I didn't ask you to sit with me."

There was a moment where Kiba was too surprised at the casual dismissal to properly form any emotion. One, two, three heartbeats. The moment passed as swiftly as it had come and his eyebrows drew together in anger. He practically growled at Sasuke.

"What, seriously? Or is that some kind of joke?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the challenge from behind his glasses. "Did I stutter?"

Kiba's chair squealed against the floor as he shoved it back, standing up abruptly. He stabbed his spaghetti with his fork violently.

"Fucking jerk," he spat.

He flicked his fork at Sasuke. Spaghetti and sauce flew poetically through the air to land on Sasuke's well-pressed white shirt. Sasuke stood up once it made contact, his own chair falling backwards with a clatter that had all eyes in the cafeteria turning to him.

"What the fuck –?"

"I was just trying to be nice, asshole," Kiba interrupted him. He picked up his platter and turned on his heels. "Have fun being alone for the rest of the year."

Kiba stomped away, anger making his face warm and his shoulders stiff. He could hear people snickering at Sasuke's expense and inwardly smirked in triumph. The new kid was nothing but trouble, Naruto be damned.

Speaking of Naruto, he had to report back to him.

…

"He's an asshole!"

"Kiba, sweetie, put the superglue away. We're not going to resort to elementary pranks."

"But he's an asshole!"

"Don't be so troublesome, I need that for Woodshop."

"I'm going to fucking glue his ass cheeks together during P.E., just wait for it, when I find out when he plays – Ow, ow, ow, geez, Sakura . . ."

Naruto sat beneath the shade of a large oak tree, surrounded by a handful of friends who he watched with amusement as they reported back their findings about the mysterious Sasuke Uchiha. Lunch was just about to end and they were basking in the company of each other before they would have to part ways.

Kiba eyed Sakura cautiously from where she had reached over to swat him across the head and steal the superglue from his hands. Naruto laughed openly. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"He can't be that bad," he said. "Leave the poor kid alone, he's probably pretty scared for a guy that moved countries in his last year of high school. We're like a whole new culture."

"You haven't met him yet, Naruto. He's got some pretty bad vibes," said Sakura. "Kiba and I didn't exactly have the best experiences."

Shikamaru stifled a yawn from where he leaned against Naruto's shoulder. "I have him in Statistics. Didn't hear him say a word. Seems like an okay guy."

"I haven't seen him around yet because of Jiraiya, but I'm going to try by the end of the day. Maybe we can take him out after school," offered Naruto.

"Maybe we can beat him up out back," grumbled Kiba.

"No hurting on the new guy for at least a week, those are the rules."

Naruto pushed Shikamaru none-too-gently from his shoulder and stood up to brush off the stiff grass from his uniform.

"I'll prove it to you guys by the end of the day. No one can be that bad."

…

Rumor of Sasuke's behavior spread like wildfire.

People were already beginning to avoid him after lunch. They turned to stare when he walked down the hallway, but not for the reason he liked. He was growing increasingly angry with every passing stare, setting his expression into a deep glare by the time he entered his AP Biology class.

Oh fuck me . . .

Kiba was there.

It felt like a Mexican standoff. Sasuke stood in the doorway, glaring daggers at the boy who was baring his teeth at him from the back of the class. He vaguely imagined himself wearing a cowboy hat, pistol in hand and whistling flute playing the Wild West theme song in the background. Who would shoot first?

Kiba made the first move: he raised his hand in a one-finger salute and looked away, giving Sasuke the opportunity to sit as far away from him as possible.

Just fucking great.

Sasuke wasn't sure how much worse his day could get. His experiment seemed to be failing miserably, and the first school day had barely begun. He was ready to cancel it all, to throw away his research, to return things back to normal. It was starting to be the biggest mistake of his life.

His anger drew his focus away from AP Psychology and AP English, his last two classes of the day. As soon as the last bell rang, he darted out of the classroom so quickly he feared his oversized pants would slip to his ankles.

"Hey! Hey, Uchiha, wait up! Geez, for a chubby guy you sure are fast!"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder at the unfamiliar blond running down the hall. Rather than slow down, he ignored the boy in favor of picking up his pace, silently willing the walls to swallow him whole. He had almost been out of the school doors!

"Oi, I know you can hear me!"

His vision was suddenly assaulted with pops of orange and yellow. Two bright blue eyes blinked at him before they scrunched up and revealed a grin of dazzling white teeth. The blond put his hands on his shoulders to slow him down and Sasuke had to mentally count to ten to stop himself from breaking the fingers on each hand.

"What?" he bit out instead.

He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose; the sudden stop had jarred them loose. And would it kill this kid to stop fucking smiling in his face?

"I just . . . wanted to welcome you to Konoha." The blond seemed to deflate a bit, smile still in place but suddenly not as confident at the bite in Sasuke's voice. He stepped back and stuck out one hand. "My name's Naruto."

Sasuke looked at his hand but made no move to return the gesture. "Sasuke," he replied stiffly instead, moving to brush past Naruto. "I'm –"

"The asshole!"

The word stopped Sasuke in his place. He looked back to where Naruto was grinning at him like he had just told the funniest joke in the world.

"Kiba told me," Naruto supplied, still fucking grinning. "Said something about Sasuke Uchiha the Asshole. But that's Kiba for you. That buttmunch always rubs people the wrong way, ya know?"

"I haven't the slightest idea why you two are friends," Sasuke sneered with as much sarcasm he could muster. Nonetheless, something gnawed deeply inside of him. Asshole. "If I'm so much of an asshole, why bother introducing yourself?"

Naruto clapped him roughly on the shoulder with a loud burst of laughter. Once again, Sasuke's glasses slipped to the edge of his nose.

"You're the first new kid to come to Konoha in years, so it can be a little overwhelming, eh? Besides," he waggled his eyebrows at Sasuke, "Kiba isn't the best judge of character. And you don't seem like an asshole."

Sasuke wasn't sure what it was that guided him next. He wasn't sure if it was Naruto's know-better attitude, his ridiculously bright color palette, or the gutting insult thrown around so innocently. Whatever it was, he found him jerking his shoulder out of Naruto's grip and slapping the boy's hand away with a curl of his lip. He turned to leave him behind.

"It seems," he called over his shoulder without a second glance, "you were wrong."

Asshole, asshole, asshole rang in his ears.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the retreating figure. He went through several different emotions instantly: confusion, hurt, anger, understanding, and finally a stab of mischief. So the Uchiha wanted to try and make an enemy out of everyone he came across? He wanted to be the school jerk?

Okay then, thought Naruto. He would play his game.

He was going to smack Sasuke Uchiha with so much love and kindness, the boy wouldn't know what hit him.