Dear Vi,

I'm going to start this letter with a small disclaimer. I'm not planning on ever sending you these for the simple reason that this is supposed to be some sort of coping mechanism against all the pressure I'm receiving. My therapist suggested that I talked about it with someone I trust and you are the only one who I trust with my life. It's just that you never know of some of the things I'm planning on writing on those letters - if I'm going to write more than one.

I still recall the first time I've heard about you. There wasn't even a name, just a vigilant that beat up other criminals and left there for us to find, albeit robbed. But this was the least of my concerns. I knew I had to find you because you were different. You've always been, Vi, whether you realize it or not.

I had been planning the whole thing for months and that's why I kept an eye on you. It was a good excuse for me to get out of my office and do something meaningful for a change. I couldn't trust anyone else. They wouldn't understand. I had so much trouble with persuading my superiors and the mayor himself because all of them had their doubts. I took personal responsibility for you. It was risky but I was aware that they wouldn't otherwise allow your enrollment to the police department. But they made sure I went through hell to make this work legally. The amount of paperwork I had to fill in was overwhelming even for myself.

Then, I proceeded with my plan. I met you at the abandoned storage completely alone. It seemed reckless but I reckoned you would have trusted me if I had brought company. I was willing to risk it in order to win over your trust and I was well aware that this wasn't going to be an easy task whatsoever. I preferred to fail and get punished for it rather than not win your trust. If you did beat me up that night, I could try again. But breaking your trust would irreversible.

I was surprised when you listened to me but I was more surprised at myself. I had a small speech prepared but at the last moment I decided against it. I had forgotten that you were different and you didn't need someone to speak prepared words. You needed to listen to the truth and maybe I needed to listen to the truth coming from my own mouth. I admired you a lot Vi and I still do up to this day because you show such a compassion and such a passion for your work and bringing justice even if you grew up on the wrong side of the law. That's what makes you special, Vi. Most of my officers don't even have the same sense of justice as you do.

I catch myself contemplating about you a lot and I don't know why. It's not mere admiration, it's something else, bigger than that. I'm not sure if I want to find out what it is. Maybe this time I'm too scared to find out the truth.

Yours, Caitlyn