Written for Naruto Rare Pair Bingo 2019, for the space 'Only One Bed' on board C.

Thanks to Koi, who very much drove this idea on with me and made it happen from the first (I had no particular intention of writing OroTsuna and yet. . . I've posted two others now but this one, back in March, was the first I wrote), and also to Pearl, who offered a very helpful suggestion for writing canon Jiraiya's POV.

Orochimaru exhaled slowly, mind calmed from the familiar patterns of meditation, and then retrieved the hot pack from where he'd left it under the kettle. It was nicely heated, without the use of any katon jutsu - tricky, for such things - and Orochimaru hummed contentedly as he paced back across the floor to the bed with it in hand. He settled neatly on his side of the bed, leaving more than half of it free.

Jiraiya, who would be sharing with him and taking that space, had yet to return from his bath - or perhaps he was still down in the bar, drinking. Orochimaru didn't know and didn't particularly care. In fact, the longer Jiraiya stayed out, the higher the chance he would at least get some peaceful sleep. Jiraiya was quiet when they were in the open, but someplace secure - like a rented room in a peaceful town deep in Hi no Kuni - he was a restless, loud sleeper.

Orochimaru curled on his side and tucked the hot pack against his belly, closing his eyes and basking in the warmth seeping into him, wrapped inside his own spare blanket beneath the one provided by the inn.

"Orochi!"

Orochimaru jolted awake at the yell an instant before broad hands seized his shoulder and arm and shook him. He knew who it was but he hissed warningly anyway, curling up tighter. "Sleeping!" he snapped, swatting at Jiraiya's hands. He was kind enough not to flick a kunai into his own first.

"Get out!" Jiraiya yelled back, dodging Orochimaru's - admittedly weak; half-asleep and blind - swats and shoving at him.

"You have got to be joking." Orochimaru said sharply, twisting his shoulders.

"Out!" Jiraiya repeated, poking him in the spine and making him hiss again, arching away from the uncomfortable pressure.

"Why?" Orochimaru demanded, cocking his head to glare at his friend.

"There's a girl!" Jiraiya said, leering. "Coming up here for me!"

Orochimaru blinked slowly, ignoring the hand shoving against his lower back. "I find that difficult to believe." he said finally, shaking his head.

"No, seriously! Out!" Jiraiya demanded, and shoved him off the bed.

Orochimaru hit the floor hard, too shocked and still sleep-fogged to catch himself, and sat up, twisting to shoot a poisonous glare at Jiraiya. "Fuck's sake Jiraiya, what was that for?" he demanded, slowly rising to his feet, snagging his hot pack by one corner and hauling his blanket back around himself, tense with irritation. He'd been pleasantly warm and happily asleep, damn it, and Jiraiya had jolted him awake and shoved him around and was yelling and-

"You weren't listening!" Jiraiya said unapologetically, flapping a hand at Orochimaru and moving around the bed.

"To you demanding I get out of our room? I was trying to sleep, Jiraiya!" Orochimaru snapped back, only to startle as Jiraiya grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the door. "Jiraiya. . ."

"Go on, out you go! And take your stuff," Jiraiya shoved his pack and flak vest into his chest, catching his arm in the process as he kept pushing Orochimaru, "I'm going to need the whole bed," he waggled his eyebrows, "for the whole night. No space for you, my snakey friend!"

Orochimaru hissed, aggravated, but let himself be shoved along towards the door without fighting much more. Jiraiya clearly wasn't going to let up. "Where am I supposed to sleep?" he demanded as he went, however, eyes narrowed.

"Not here!" Jiraiya said bluntly, shaking his head, and gave Orochimaru a last push out of the room, slamming the door behind them. "Now go on! I'm going to go get my girl." He grinned, and then he was gone off down the corridor again, towards the stairs.

Orochimaru stared after him for a moment, then looked back at the door. He wouldn't put it past Jiraiya to have slapped a seal on it, but he could work his way past that, and-

If he broke back in and went back to sleep Jiraiya would probably only wake him again, likely with even more shouting and prodding and protests. . .

Orochimaru sighed and turned down the corridor. Perhaps Tsunade would allow him a bit of floor in her room. He just wanted to sleep, and while he had been much enjoying the luxury of being back in a bed, he could do without easily enough.

Orochimaru knocked on her door lightly and waited, patient. He yawned.

The door all but snapped open. "What do you- Oro? What are you doing here?" Tsunade's voice gentled almost immediately, and she looked him up and down, then met his gaze with arched brows.

Orochimaru licked his lips, blinking sleepily. "Jiraiya threw me out of our room. Something about some hypothetical girl and needing the bed and the whole night." he muttered unhappily. "May I sleep on your floor?"

"He what?" Tsunade yelped, and Orochimaru winced at the volume. She huffed, crossing her arms. "Of course you can sleep here, come in." She stepped aside to let him pass.

"He snores, anyway." Orochimaru pointed out, letting his pack and flak jacket fall to the floor beside Tsunade's. He surveyed the room, then moved over on the other side of the nightstand from the bed, near the wall, and began to unwind his blanket with a sigh.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous." Tsunade said, and he turned towards her, now perched on the bed.

"You know he snores." Orochimaru reminded, tilting his head. Tsunade might have to put up with it less often than he did, but she had heard it.

Tsunade snorted. "Not that - kami, does he - about the floor. This bed's as big as the one you two were going to share, and the two of us can certainly share at least as comfortably as you could with Jiraiya. There's no need for you to sleep on the floor, just come here."

Orochimaru hesitated, still half-clutching his blanket around himself, his cooling hot pack dangling from his free hand. Tsunade beckoned him, and he shrugged and complied, heading towards her.

Tsunade slid across to the far side of the bed and gestured at the rumpled bedding in front of her in invitation, and Orochimaru didn't hesitate again, simply climbing in beside her. Tsunade stretched and reached out, putting out the light as Orochimaru settled down on his side, back to the edge of the bed, draping his own blanket over himself.

A moment later he startled as Tsunade draped the inn's blanket over them both, and looked into her playfully smiling face as it settled over their heads. Orochimaru's lips twitched and he snorted, and she giggled, then pushed it away, letting it slide down to their shoulders and moving a little closer to her.

"You don't have to be so skittish," Tsunade said, clasping Orochimaru by the arm and hauling him bodily closer to the centre of the bed, "you were invited." She paused, yawning. "And I know you would never be so-" she broke off with a disgusted sound and Orochimaru's lip curled. "Exactly." she agreed with a snort.

Orochimaru sniffed and closed his eyes, listening to the rustling of Tsunade settling in nearby with a faint smile. He was mostly asleep when warm arms closed around him, dragging him in and all but crushing him against plush curves and lean muscle. He stiffened a little, wriggling, and Tsunade made a grumbling sound in his ear, face burrowing into his hair as her arms tightened further.

Orochimaru tugged at her embrace, but she didn't give it up, sighing sleepily. He opened one eye, taking a moment to adjust to the darkness. Tsunade was, as he had gathered, fast asleep, despite her fierce hold on him.

She was also warm, and comfortable, and trusted.

Orochimaru shifted a little, curling an arm around her waist in return and letting his body ease into her snug embrace, fitting against hers. She hooked one leg over his thigh, heel bumping lightly into the bunched muscle of his calf, and snuggled into him. Orochimaru rubbed her back and relaxed into the hold as he fell asleep, warm and content.

Jiraiya huffed, slinging his pack over his shoulder and heading out again. He had failed to find Orochimaru, the sneaky bastard was probably lying in wait for him somewhere. He could go and rouse Tsunade, though, who had yet to emerge from her room.

He grinned and headed that way, gleefully thinking about the last time Tsunade had lectured him for oversleeping, shaking him by the shoulder all the time. He paused at the door, then fiddled open the seals she'd used - easy enough - rather than knock. Really, she had more than earned this, he thought, swinging the door open quietly - prepared to duck flying weaponry, just in case his presence woke her and she reacted precipitously. She did tend to do that, even when not woken unexpectedly.

Then he froze, eyes widening and back straightening, taking in the shapely figure and expanse of bare skin on display before him. Slender but toned thighs spread wide to support hips tilted forwards, a pale, taut ass more than big enough to welcome both hands, luscious lines flowing up into almost delicate hips. The curve of her waist, tense with the inviting arch of her back and hips, accentuated by the trailing ends of soft blond hair that flicked with every movement. Continuing upwards, the lush curve reversed and led up to a beautifully generous bosom, breasts unconstrained for once and trembling with each breath, deliciously pink nipples furled into perky buds.

Jiraiya swallowed, taking a step further into the room. Tsunade gasped, breasts heaving and slim tummy fluttering with her breath; her thighs and ass flexed as she shifted to steady herself, her hips rocking forwards, and Jiraiya couldn't help but picture those legs around him, fitted snugly just across his hips, bodies made to slot into one another finally coming together. His eyes roamed upwards again as her back bowed just a little, pressing her soft breasts together and forming a plunging valley between them that led his eye down and down and-

Tsunade's hips were rocking into something, and not her own hand as Jiraiya had distractedly thought would be the case - there was jet black hair pooled between her knees, like a spill of ink marring the scene. Tsunade let out a breathy cry and Jiraiya's throat tightened as he clenched his jaw, though his cock throbbed with a pulse of heat at the pleasure-rich sound.

One golden eye, heavy-lidded but extremely familiar, peeked into view through the ink-spill strands, and Jiraiya choked on an indrawn breath. Before he could even begin to think he had been mistaken fingers that were pale even on Tsunade's skin slid up and over one of her soft thighs.

"What the hell!" Jiraiya bellowed, and Tsunade jumped, her moan ratcheting into a shriek - no delicate wail but a furious battle cry. "How could you?"

"What the fuck are you doing barging in here?" Tsunade yelled almost over his own shout, hands balling into fists and breasts heaving with her indignation - although they were still unconstrained by her clothes, soft flesh bouncing and her nipples still peaked tightly and- "Jiraiya!"

Jiraiya twitched, eyes darting back up to her face and she looked murderous.

"What am I doing?" Jiraiya shot back, eyes straying back to Orochimaru's face, now a little more visible as Tsunade leaned back a little from her place astride him - and now Jiraiya could see him; only half-hidden under the rumpled bedding, stretched between Tsunade's curvaceous, slender thighs. "What are-"

"Yes, what are you doing - you just barged in to my locked and sealed and private room!" Tsunade snapped, raising one arm and shaking her fist at him. "What the fuck, Jiraiya!"

"I just came to wake you so we could leave!" Jiraiya said, wounded. "I was being a good teammate - unlike the two of you!"

Tsunade made an inarticulate, half-screeching sound and Jiraiya lifted his chin. "How could you?" he repeated, and then- "How could you, hime?" he repeated more softly.

"I don't- I can't- Argh!" Tsunade covered her face with one hand, sinking back a little further, steadied as she wavered by those pale, pale fingers curved around her thigh.

"And Orochi! What the hell were you doing in here?" Jiraiya demanded of his best friend, hurt.

Orochimaru shifted a little, fingers smoothing over Tsunade's skin. "If you cannot grasp the idea. . ." he said softly, and Jiraiya nearly choked with offense and anger. "I have attempted to explain to you, but you seem incapable of-"

"Oro is doing nothing but what I asked and invited him to do with me!" Tsunade shouted, her strident voice drowning out Orochimaru's lower one. He made no move to protest as Tsunade moved to brace herself against him. "Oro never does anything without an invitation! And you are interrupting!"

"Interrupting?" Jiraiya's voice cracked as it rose. "I hardly knew that I would be! I just came to wake you, hime! How could I have guessed the two of you would be-" he couldn't finish, hurt.

Tsunade shifted and swung a leg gracefully over Orochimaru as he tipped his head out of her way, sliding to sit on the bed beside him with a thump of small feet hitting the floor. Jiraiya opened his mouth but his gaze slipped down from the bounce of her breasts with the movement to the tight blonde curls at the apex of her thighs, and the shine of-

"You irredeemable pervert!" Tsunade snapped, rising to her feet and taking a step.

Orochimaru shifted, more of his body bared with Tsunade completely off him and the bedding sliding away, and Jiraiya cringed. Orochimaru reached out one arm towards the deep blue drape of fabric sliding off the nightstand and Tsunade half-spun towards him, pointing. "You stay right there and wait!" she ordered, and Orochimaru stilled, eyes flicking up to her face. "I'm coming back and you're picking up where you left off."

Jiraiya made a strangled sound, and Orochimaru slowly withdrew his hand. He stretched along the bed, sheet sliding lower still over his stomach, lounging back on his elbows with a smug little smirk.

"You're my best friends, how could you do this to me?" Jiraiya demanded, amazed that Orochimaru could be so casual, that Tsunade could just brush aside-

Tsunade gave a wordless shriek and stomped towards him, and Jiraiya opened his mouth but couldn't quite remember the words he'd been about to say as she approached, eyes falling to her generous chest. "We are your best friends." Tsunade said, sounding dreadfully impatient as she always did when she thought either of them were being idiots and were 'wrong' on things she considered basic and easy, and Jiraiya swallowed, watching her come to retrieve him with bated breath. Best friends, teammates. . .

He remembered his other teammate stretched out in the bed and hesitated, not sure he could quite- Orochimaru was an oddly pretty man but a man, and it was Orochimaru, but Tsunade-

He grinned as she reached him all the same and Tsunade's warm, honeyed eyes narrowed suddenly.

Then pain exploded in his face and neck, and he flew backwards through the doorway before slamming into the wall with a crunch. Jiraiya yelped, hands coming up to his now-bleeding face and mouth, and looked up as Tsunade stomped right out of her room into the corridor after him, still naked. He shifted, scrambling sideways along the wall and not really listening to her continued ranting, but Tsunade quickly caught hold of him again.

"And how dare you break into my room!" Tsunade snapped in his face as she hauled him back up, though not quite to his feet, and Jiraiya flinched and scrambled to get them under him and brace himself only half a breath before she punched him again, this time sending him flying through-

Oh, a window. He tumbled through the air and landed mostly on his feet, though a bit disoriented from the punch, and looked back up to see a flick of blonde hair as Tsunade spun and walked away from the window. He could hear the door slamming from several floors down.

Jiraiya flopped down, sighing, then wincing as the heavy breath aggravated his very broken nose. He prodded it gently with his fingertips. Really, how could the two of them, he thought, looking up towards the broken window again and frowning.

Omake:

Orochimaru hummed, shifting his shoulders a little and letting his head rest comfortably against the pillows, watching Tsunade gasp and shudder, catching her breath even as she clearly basked in the aftermath of her orgasm. He smoothed one hand up and down her thigh, then slid it up further, ever so gently stroking her hot, slick core before brushing a feathery caress over her clit with the pad of one finger.

Tsunade twitched, making a breathy little sound at the touch, and opened her eyes, looking down at him. Orochimaru grinned, and Tsunade made what looked like a valiant attempt to glare, but her eyes were warm and her lips tugged upwards at the corners. She settled back a little more, wobbly on her knees, and Orochimaru steadied her with a gentle grip, hands wrapping around one hip and the opposite thigh. She groaned, one of her own hands splaying low over her belly, and closed her eyes.

Orochimaru waited patiently, watching her, lean muscles faintly quivering with exertion and pleasure, lips parted and face flushed, her hair tumbled messily around her cheeks and sticking to her skin in a few places. A soft, barely-there sound that shouldn't have been there and a feeling of something . . . wrong distracted him from his appreciation and he pushed his own arousal aside to focus.

It didn't take long to find the source as he looked away from the bed, peeking around Tsunade's hip - Jiraiya, his face streaked with red not only in the form of his markings but also tacky, drying blood, was all but pressed against the window.

Orochimaru's brows rose and Jiraiya grimaced at him, clinging to the window frame.

Orochimaru impulsively stuck his tongue out at Jiraiya, then turned away again, lips twitching as he shook his head.

"Mm, I should. . ." Tsunade brushed a caressing hand over his chest, gaze sliding down what she could see of his body past her own thighs and hips, and Orochimaru smirked at her. She snorted and curled her fingers into a fist, lightly bumping his shoulder with it, eyes warm and smile promising.

"I would like that," Orochimaru said honestly, his belly tightening and his cock twitching, "but first, come back here."

Tsunade made a surprised, curious sound, but swayed with his touch willingly when Orochimaru clasped her hips and guided her back up over him, at a more comfortable angle this time. "Oro, are you- Oh!" Tsunade trembled above him with the first touch of his tongue, any question or protest forgotten, and Orochimaru chuckled before shifting to bring his mouth closer.

He reached around her hips and shaped a couple of seals behind her back, ending with a flick of one hand towards the window, directing the fuuton to knock Jiraiya - already unsteadier than usual - from his perch.

Tsunade shuddered and moaned loudly above him and Orochimaru hummed with pleasure, a shiver running through him as he drew on his patience again and quelled the insistent throb of his arousal - just for a little longer. He closed his eyes and clasped his hands around Tsunade's hips to steady her this time as he rubbed his tongue over her clit, curling it with a playful flick, then drove it inside her as she moaned breathily, muscles tightening.

Pearl's suggestion was: Jiraiya's mind is perpetual Male Author Describing Woman Paragraph.