When I'd arrived at the clubroom after school, I was surprised to see no one was there. I had seen Yuigahama still in the classroom earlier as I left, so she was probably on her way, but not seeing Yukinoshita already in the room before me was particularly bizarre.

Despite this—or maybe because of it—I sat on my usual chair at the far end of our clubroom's long wooden table and pulled a book out of my bag to pass the time. If they weren't here then I didn't have to put up with Yuigahama always nagging me around or listen to Yukinoshita remind me of how much of a failure I am. How refreshing. I couldn't remember the last time I've gone this long in this clubroom without someone making fun of me.

As I read my book a bit longer, I heard a sharp knock at the door. I'm still not really sure what the knock was for, because right after they decided to just walk in anyway without waiting for me to respond. But that was the least of my worries. Because in walked the one person I'd least expected to arrive.

"Yui~! Let's go shopping!"

It was Yumiko Miura.

"—Oh."

And she looked like I was the most disappointing thing she'd seen all day.

She gave me a weird look, as if wondering why I was in this room. Or, to put it another way, she was probably just wondering why it had to be me. She was expecting Yuigahama, who was her friend. She could've anticipated Yukinoshita, the one everyone knew as the most stuck-up girl at this school. But Hikigaya Hachiman…

Well, I had a reputation of my own. I was known as the strong and solitary type, the kind of person who you didn't want to mess with because you didn't know what they were capable of. I was quiet and mysterious. In other words, I had no friends. But my version of the story sounded cooler.

"Miura, did you need something?"

"Huh? I'm looking for Yui, obviously. What'd you think? I came here looking for you? Please, don't gross me out. Looking at your face is making me feel sick enough already."

"Er, right. She's probably still… in the classroom…"

I was starting to think coming to the clubroom today was a bad idea.

"Oi, Hikio. Where's the other one? Yukino Yukinoshita. Where is she?"

"I don't think she's coming. Probably has some family business to attend to."

"Oh. Really."

I couldn't tell if she was angry or relieved that the one person at this school to have ever humiliated her would not be present here today. She looked like she was a bit of both. If there was one thing Yumiko Miura couldn't stand more than a loser like me, it was a loser who didn't know their place. And Yukino Yukinoshita, as a fellow friendless loser, but who was smarter and prettier than all the other girls at this school, certainly did not seem to know her place.

To my surprise, she then stepped into the room. To my complete and utter bewilderment, she then proceeded to walk over to my table, pull out a chair, and sit right in front of the corner of the table I'd been leaning on. In other words, she'd sat right next to me. Too close. Too close! Why'd you have to sit so close?! This table spans the entire classroom, you know! Also, she smelled like lavender, and it was really nice. But still, too close. Don't sit that close to me or I'll get the wrong idea.

"Hey, Miura…?!"

"Huh? The hell are you looking at? I'm waiting for Yui, you numbskull. Stop bothering me."

"Oh… oh. I see…"

Just kidding. Yumiko Miura hated my existence, and thought I was worth somewhere between a kitchen stain and a small insect. There was never any wrong idea to get.

This was Yumiko Miura—the Fire Queen of Sobu High—we were talking about here. I've heard stories of students who've made her mad who'd never been heard from again. Well, I hadn't actually heard that from anyone, because I didn't have any friends to hear it from, but it felt like it was true. Just look at those eyes. They could kill you if you stared too long at them.

As I peered into Miura's eyes trying to find traces of murderous intent, I'd noticed she was now staring right back at me. Which meant she'd caught me looking at her when I wasn't supposed to be. Which meant I was screwed. She had a face that said that was the most disgusting thing she'd seen all day.

"Hikio."

"Y-Yes?!"

Damn it, even her voice was cute. Although it would be a lot cuter if she wasn't using it to verbally abuse me all the time.

"Why're you looking at me?"

Okay, she noticed. Stay calm. I can still talk myself out of this.

"Uh, um, I, uh…"

"I'm sitting here patiently waiting for Yui to arrive, and you just start staring at me like a complete weirdo. Did I say something to you? Did I ask you to look at me? Did I tell you to stare at me this whole time like a creep?"

Nope, can't talk myself out of this. I was right. Coming to the clubroom today was definitely a bad idea.

"…No, you didn't. You didn't say anything like that."

"God, you are so weird! Do you even know how weird you are? This just reminds me of that thing you always do in class. You know, that one. The one where you make that face and go all heh-heh-heh-heh. It's so loud. And so creepy! You always do it when you're reading and some of us notice when we're sitting close by. We're always so creeped out when we hear it. Do you know the two girls who used to always sit behind you during lunch? Do you know why they don't sit there anymore? Why they moved to the window? That's why. Because of that thing you do. Just looking at you for this long is already starting to give me the creeps again."

And here I thought those two had moved because they wanted to be closer to the breeze. It turns out they'd just moved because I was a freak. Way to go, me.

"Hey, Hikio. Do you like me? Is that it? Is that why you were staring at me? Because if so, that is so gross. Wait—Hikio, you… huh?! No way! Oh my God! That look on your face! I knew it. You like me, don't you?! Now you're going all red! A weirdo like you likes someone like me! Oh my God, that's so gross!"

I… well, I didn't mind her, I suppose. Maybe in more ways than one. But she wasn't supposed to know that. That was meant to be a closely guarded secret. And I had just let it slip, right in front of the person it concerned the most. They say true friends never reveal secrets, but I'd just revealed my own secret to someone without anyone here to help me. Some friend of mine I am. Now that it had come to this, there was only one logical course of action. I just had to die. Please, kill me. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but, if there is a God, smite me now. As much as she didn't want anything to do with me, Miura was almost certainly never going to live this one down.

My crushing humiliation was soon to be interrupted by a new visitor. Yuigahama slid the door open and burst into the room in her usual energetic fashion, finally giving Miura a reason to end her reign of terror before she'd completely sealed my fate.

"Yahallo! Sorry I'm late, Hiratsuka-sensei was so annoying, you know. Like, just because I got a zero on my math test doesn't mean you need to lecture me about it! I mean, big deal, I get zeroes all the time! And then she was all like, "Yuigahama, this is your last chance. If you continue at the level you're at now you could risk having to repeat the whole year." Talk about gloomy! Like, no way, of course that's not gonna happen. Not when I have you two here to help me! Right, guys? Wait, huh?! Yumiko? What're you doing here? And Hikki, why're you sitting so close to her?!"

Wait, this was my fault now?! Yuigahama, I think you've got something wrong. While we waited for you to arrive, I had to sit here and have Miura painfully remind me of all the reasons no one talks to me in class. I'm the victim here. Also, I'm worried for your future. It looks seriously bleak.

"Yui! You really kept me waiting, you know? Let's go pick out that swimsuit! I know some good stores in the city."

"Oh? Oh… ooh, oh! R-Right, swimsuits, yeah, haha…"

Your social skills are supposed to be your strong suit, Yuigahama. Just how empty-headed can you get?!

"Let's go, Yumiko. Sorry, Hikki, we've got a pool party next week and Yumiko wanted to buy a new swimsuit, so she asked me to help out. So I can't come to club today. Tell Yukinon I'm, um, sorry, too."

A pool party? Swimsuits? I was tempted to say something like "Then how about I come along and help, ladies?" but I knew that if I said that I may never have been able to set foot in society again.

As Miura got up to join Yuigahama and leave, she turned around to address me one more time.

"You know, Hikio, I misjudged you. You're funnier than I thought you'd be. I've never seen someone look so embarrassed about the weird things they do in class. And that look on your face when I said you liked me—oh my God, you were so red! Just so you know, I already have someone on my mind, so don't start getting any ideas. I mean, just look at you. It's not like there'd be anything to get! Ha! Anyway, you're seriously creepy, and I don't want people to think we're associated with each other, so don't talk to me again. Bye!"

"Um, b-bye, Hikki…"

And with that, they were gone.

Well, if Yuigahama wasn't going to stay, there was no point in me staying here either. I put my book back into my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and quietly left the room. The clock read 5:15 as I opened the door, which meant I still had about 45 minutes until my parents would be back home to make dinner. I guess I was going to head home and watch some TV.

Of all the times I'd decided to stay behind when Yukinoshita wasn't there, today was certainly the most eventful. Usually when that happened it would just be me and Yuigahama. I would read my book and she would clack away at her phone. We wouldn't say much. It was much more peaceful than when Yukinoshita was there, as Yuigahama would always try to find a reason to talk to her.

But today was different. Today had not been peaceful. Yumiko Miura may well be my complete opposite at this school. If soulmates existed, then she would surely be my soulenemy. And today, my soulenemy had sat next to me and reminded me of all the reasons I hated talking to her. And by that I mean it was just me being reminded of why no one liked me and how people like her rose to the top because society was inherently unfair. Once again I had proven that it was society that was wrong, and that I was still owed a great deal of compensation for all the times I was made fun of in middle school. A broken bone could last a few months. Hikigaya-germs could last forever.

As I walked along the empty concrete streets to my house, I thought about whether my life would be any different if I were more popular. I would actually have friends, for one thing. I would have people to talk to in class. I might've even been invited to that pool party they were talking about.

But if that meant I had to hang around someone like Yumiko Miura, then I would have to respectfully decline. There was no way I could be friends with someone like that, who so easily looked down on those who they thought were beneath them. Yukinoshita and Yuigahama may not have been my friends, but at least they didn't insult me the first chance they got.

Well, actually, Yukinoshita did exactly that. But at least she didn't have any friends either.

As I reached the front door of my house I realised the time for my bitter monologuing was over. My parents were about to get home soon. So, to finish off the day, I will end it by saying something I wish I'd said earlier:

To Yumiko Miura,

I didn't want to talk to you anyway, idiot.