Point of View

I'm grinning. For a minute I feel complete and utter joy. My skin is burning, my mind is foggy. My heart is racing as I take your hand and lead you to my bedroom.

I was happily drowning my sorrows in glass of wine number three, when a beating on my door woke me from my mournful state. Not only had I broken things off with Thomas tonight, he also told me that you were once again ready to lose everything in order to protect me. How am I supposed to reciprocate that? I don't even know what I am really feeling right now, because believe it or not, I really did like Thomas, Harvey. I wanted him to be the one. I actually expected him to be the person standing in the doorway.

And yet here you are. We haven't spoken a word since I opened the door. We didn't need to. I could tell from the expression on your face; the way you carried yourself as you strode towards me. Resolve. Somehow, you have renounced whatever it was that kept you away all these years. I was engulfed by your embrace, your kisses. The hint of your cologne tingling my nose. You devoured all my senses as you pushed me onto my own hallway table.

In a moment of stillness, you intertwined your fingers with mine, reassuring me silently that you and I are connected. And I allowed myself to think that perhaps you'd want more this time. But do you really? Maybe it's the nearness of your breath on my skin, maybe it's the wine. It's likely both. Nevertheless, the floodgates to my love for you are threatening to bust open, and I try with all my might to keep them shut. This dance is too familiar and so far, every time I've ended up alone. I can't go through that again. Not with you. Terror and hope are raging inside me like a battle for the ages, overshadowed by passion. For now, the actress in me will play the passionate part, because I am not ready yet to show you just how conflicted I am.

The buzz in my brain is slowly subsiding yet fueling my desire. I want you. It's always been you. But why are you here now? I decide that conversation can wait. Just make love to me tonight.

You follow me out of the hallway, and I sense you tracking my every move.

•∞•

You are smiling as you lead me away from your now messy hallway table. You have taken the lead in my life so many times, like how you lead me onto the dancefloor at Mike and Rachels wedding. However, this is a different dance and I feel I have two left feet and no sense of rhythm.

Tonight, I realized my life means absolutely nothing without you in it and I could no longer deny that simple fact. I found myself knocking on your door, ready to tell you how I feel; that I want more. Still, as I opened my mouth to speak, words escaped me. Seeing you standing there, strong yet fragile, reading me like no other can, I knew words would not be enough, anyway. So, with your voiceless permission, I acted without thinking, drowning in your touch, in you. Hoping I could convey my emotions that way, without the need to explain.

Now, I follow you blindly, taking in the way your auburn locks gently flow to the rhythm of our movement, to the sway of your hips and how the silk embraces every curve. I can't think. The desire I feel for you is making me dizzy. I have never felt this way before and it intimidates me.

You turn around at the foot of the bed and I move closer to you. There is little light in here and my senses are heightened immediately. I leave no room for space between us, needing to kiss you while I can, feeling your body against my own in the dark. Nevertheless, there's an uneasiness growing within me, demanding attention.

Your lips are so soft with the faint taste of wine. I remember them from when you last kissed me out of the blue. I remember them from twelve and a half years ago. Soft and delicate, just like you, and I feel I don't deserve you at all. Why are you letting me kiss you? Touch you? Don't you know you're worth so much more? Yet you whimpered softly as I pushed you up on that table and it gave me enough courage to continue. Especially when our hands found each other, and our fingers laced together. We stayed like that for what felt like forever. Still, there's something I have to know before... I can't even finish the thought. There is a ringing in my ears, blood rushing to my head as I try to catch my breath. I pull back and close my eyes, taking a breath to steady myself. "Donna..." I let out hoarsely and I feel you stiffen under my touch.

•∞•

I slow at the foot of the bed and turn to face you. I told myself for too long I didn't love you like that. I tried to push the yearning away, told myself it could never work; that you weren't ready. But am I? Am I ready to acknowledge the love I feel for you is real? Ready to let love change that which we have become? Our relationship might not be perfect, but it's all we know. Is it worth risking everything? Because if we do this, there is no going back.

You have already closed the distance without a sound and your forehead is once again pressed to mine, your hands on my hips. With your eyes closed, you press your lips to my own. Tenderly, tentatively this time, even though I can feel your hardness as you hold our bodies together. Your brows are drawn, and a feeling of unsettlement overtakes. As you pull back, I hear you whisper my name and a shot of panic shoots through me. There it is. You've changed your mind. This was a bad idea. You didn't mean for it to happen. You don't want things to change between us. You want us to keep working together. You think you should go.

I wait for whatever excuse you're gonna make, but you remain silent and time stands still.

I scan your face in the dark, and I can see conflict crossing over. Possibly fear? My hands rest on your chest when I feel a gentle squeeze of your hands on my hips and I wait for you to speak, still unable to meet my gaze.

•∞•

I have loved you for so long, Donna, you know I have. I told you as much. Although examining it was out of the question, afraid that I might find I loved you that way and I wouldn't have known how to handle it. Fuck, I still don't have a clue. The thought alone hurts: what if we are too late? What if we will never be able to make up for all those years we lost? Because God knows I want to make up for them. And I want to make up for them right now.

But there is something looming over us that I can't ignore. I won't be the other man. I will not let you cheat on your boyfriend with me, regardless of our history or our feelings for each other. I swallow. My throat is so dry, and I am afraid when I open my mouth, I won't be able to ask you the one question that will make or break us; make or break me. The ringing in my ears gets worse and I feel like I'm losing it. For a second the thought of a pending panic attack shoots through me and I push it as far away as possible. It's now or never. "What about Thomas?" I manage to say. My heart is about to beat out of my chest as a million thoughts run through my mind and I can barely wait for your reply. I just cannot lose you, Donna. Please…

•∞•

I release the breath I didn't realize I was holding. Of course, you want to know about Thomas. I should have told you before. "We broke up," I say softly, stroking your cheek to offer comfort, letting my hand come to rest over your heart in a silent promise, relief washing over me as our eyes finally meet. I still sense some tension as you look at me with irises as dark as night. "I'm sorry," you whisper, and I can tell it's because you are as conflicted as I am. "I'm not," I confess as I watch your face relax into a small smile. It's not a lie to make you feel better, it's the painful truth.

Your gaze drops to my lips and once again you kiss me, but this time you waste no time and you're definitely not tentative in your caress. Your tongue is demanding as you tangle your hand in my hair and angle my head. There is not enough of you for me to touch, so I rake my nails across your clothed back once more. I am hanging on to you as you pull me as close as possible and it's still not close enough.

•∞•

You tell me there is nothing left standing in our way. I smile. Fuck. What if this is all a dream? Tell me it's not. But just in case it is, I'll kiss you again, like it's the last time I will ever get to kiss you, because I just don't know what else to do. Years and years of pent up desire is unleashing within me. Your scent is intoxicating. The feel of your tongue dueling with mine, I press my body into you some more, because I just can't feel enough of you. As you run your nails up and down my back, I lose the little control I had left. You must feel my erection press against your stomach as you start to undo my tie and unbutton my shirt.

All of a sudden there is an urgency to get you naked and I let my hands explore. My hand is cupping your breast and I gently kneed, pinching the most sensitive part through the fabrics. I let my hand travel further down to the hem of your top and I pull it over your head. I toss it to the side and take off my shirt. I am so much better with actions than words. My conviction returns and I take charge. This is familiar territory.

•∞•

I love the soft moan you release when I run my fingers down your back. I'm making a mental note. Desire is overtaking all other emotions and I welcome the relief, because I no longer want or need to think about what this all means. I can sense the same shift you. I want you naked, Harvey. And for once, I will get what I want, without feeling guilty for even thinking it. I fumble with your tie and buttons while you fondle my breast and before I know it, my top is gone and your shirt is off. We alternate between touches and kisses and you bite my neck once more. I don't remember you being a biter. I like it. My own little vampire. Mine. Maybe someday I'll tell you about that little guilty pleasure of mine, but right now, you are doing something to my ear and it drives me absolutely crazy. I can only think I might just come from you doing this long enough and I want to cry out. You stop before I do, and I try to focus on how we are moving from a vertical position to a horizontal one. You don't waste any time positioning yourself on top of me.

The feel of your weight pushing me down is remarkably comforting. You're careful not to crush my hair and the thoughtfulness of such a simple gesture warms my heart. Our tongues collide in passionate kisses as you start rubbing your erection against my pubic bone. God, it feels good to know I am the cause of your arousal, the object of your desire. I love the feel of your muscles and I run my hands up and down your arms as you kiss your way down between my breasts and unclasp my bra. You leave a trail of wet kisses behind on your way down before taking a nipple in your mouth, while pinching the other one softly.

I watch you enjoy yourself and I feel the heat rising within me. You pay equal attention to both breasts before moving further down and the sensation is driving me wild. My skin is freezing and on fire simultaneously every time your lips come into contact with it and when you lock eyes with me before you take off the remainder of my clothes, your eyebrow is raised playfully, and the biggest grin ever covers your face. You are gonna make me scream, aren't you?

•∞•

Less clothes are good. Your body feels amazing. Your breasts are mesmerizing, and I fully concur with your choice of lingerie, even though I know the garment will shortly be tossed aside like the hindrance it will undoubtedly become. The way your nails claw at my scalp while I gently bite the tender skin between your neck and shoulder, emboldens me. I bury my face there and suck on your delicate surface. I make my way up to your ear, just breathing and licking. My actions are followed by more clawing and you whimper. I got you right where I want you and I move us to the bed, because I don't know how much longer I can stay upright.

I climb on top because I need some more friction and you are still wearing way too many clothes. Your beautiful bra is gone in no time and I continue exploring your exquisite body. Even though we've done this before, it feels so different this time. It's almost as if we are old friends, but new people, just getting reacquainted again. If only you had the slightest idea of what you do to me. I am so hard right now, I am afraid I won't last very long. However, I will make sure you scream my name before I ever come tonight. I meet your eyes and wordlessly I give you my word.

In one motion, you're naked. I take little time to enjoy the view, because I desperately want to taste you. The heat emanating from you is intoxicating as you spread your legs wide for me. I love that I make you feel this way. You are noticeably wet, and I kiss a trail from you belly button down. I cover your pink lips with my mouth and lick up to your most sensitive spot. You undulate beneath me and I continue, alternating between sucking and licking, before I ease a finger inside, followed by another, gently exploring your warmth. I sneak a peek upwards and I see you cupping your breasts as you arch your back off the bed and I almost come undone. I writhe on the matrass for some friction while keeping my focus on your clit, licking and sucking. Your moans are becoming more frequent and a 'fuck' here and there followed by an 'oh god' escapes your lips. I feel ten feet tall and my desire to make you scream is fueled by the enchanting sounds you produce under my spell.

I want to see you come and when you indicate you're close in between moans, I tell you to come for me. I arch my fingers inside of you and pay extra attention to that one spot you seem to like and there it is: "Harvey!" you exclaim. My name rings around the dimly lit room and my entire body smiles, but I continue what I was doing until I feel your walls convulsing around my fingers. I let you ride the waves of pleasure until your body stills and your panting subsides. I wipe my mouth before crawling up your body to kiss you senseless. "You are so goddamn hot," I assert between kisses. It's an understatement, but it's all I manage to get out.

•∞•

The anticipation of what you're about to do next is almost killing me. I don't know how but I am naked before I even know it and you're making your way south. Say what you want about womanizers, but practice makes perfect and I am happy to be on the receiving end. I am desperate for you to touch me at my core. I am so wet for you, it's crazy. I open my legs as wide as they will go and I feel your tongue slide between them and seek out my clit and I am hit with a bolt of lightning. God, Harvey, yes! I touch my breasts, as I lose myself in your ministrations.

I feel you slip a finger inside and then another and I float to another dimension while you continue flicking your tongue over my clit. Control of my breathing, my senses, my body is lost. All I can utter are profanities as I get closer to orgasming. "Come for me," you order, and I do it gladly, however your fingers are doing something new and I am so shocked at the intensity of my building climax that I yell your name without thinking. It's a loaded cry for help, as much as anything. I think I feel you smiling against me, but then I topple over the edge and my body explodes into a million pieces.

When I am finally able to open my eyes, your face is next to mine and as you press your lips to my own, my moisture lingers on your chin. You mumble something that doesn't register. It takes me a minute to recover. Your kisses bring me back to earth; back to my bed, with you in it. This feels all too natural, being here with you, naked in your presence. I want to get used to this.

My hands are all over your bare back until I reached your clothed ass and I know it's my turn to take control. "On your back," I demand, and I push at your shoulders. You oblige willingly and I climb on top, taking in the view from above. Savoring it. Your expression is a combination of joy and mischief. You have never looked hotter than right now and my heart starts to beat a little faster. My hair falls over your face as I kiss you from my new position. I can't wait to get you naked and I sense the urgency is mutual, so I kiss my way down your torso, letting my hair caress the trail my mouth leaves behind. My hands are busy working your buckle and as soon as it's loose, your pants and socks are gone. All that's left is your underwear.

I can make out the shape of your erection through the tight fabric and I run my hand over it, teasing you, watching you react to my touch. You lift your hips as I pull the piece of clothing down. Your erection bounces off your belly and I am in awe of the sight before me. I do remember your penis being one of my favorites. Top 3 easy; a minor detail that hasn't made the last thirteen years any easier. The size and shape are pretty much perfect. You should be a model for a vibrator company or something. I'm staring as I hear my name in that demanding yet playful tone of yours. I ignore you. Can't you see I'm busy ogling you? Jeez. But you're right, it's time to get to work.

I meet your eyes briefly before I take you in my hand and slowly move up and down. A hiss escapes your throat as your body freezes for a second, bracing itself for more of my touch. I continue stroking you and let my tongue lick you from the base up to the tip, paying extra attention to the frenulum, knowing how that is your most sensitive spot. I play with your balls and your moans increase significantly as you harden in my hand. Your hand is in my hair while my head gently bops up and down, alternating between sucking, licking, stroking. I want to make you come so badly, to give you the release you need and watch you while you convulse at my touch, but you stop me by pushing yourself off the bed and kissing me, forcing my mouth elsewhere. I'd pout if I could.

•∞•

Your bittersweet taste is still on my tongue as you push me on my back. I love it when you take control and I watch your every move. Your hair falls all around us as we kiss, enveloping us, hiding us. As you kiss your way down, all I see is a sea of auburn. The color is so uniquely you, associating it with all I'm feeling right now feels counter intuitive. Nevertheless, I keep reminding myself this is not just another dream. I watch as you undress me further and I can't wait for you to touch me, the prospect all but killing me, though I let you take your time.

You leave my underwear on and I'm virtually dying as you cup me. My head falls back involuntarily, and you take it as your cue to release my erection. Finally. I keep my eyes closed, waiting for you to continue, but you don't move. I open one eye and see you just gawking at my nakedness approvingly. It's not like I haven't gotten compliments before, yet knowing I am enough for you fills me with a genuine feeling of pride and worth. However, I need you to continue. "Donna…" I love it when I can say your name teasingly. You don't respond. Instead you move closer to my arousal and look up, meeting my eyes with a gleam in yours. Without saying a word, you grab hold and take me in your mouth, and I am seeing stars.

Fuck! I am way too close, but this feels so good. The warmth of your mouth enveloping my length feels amazing and your tongue is doing this thing to the head as you play with my balls. The room fades away and I jerk upright. You have to stop, because as much as I am loving this, I want to be inside of you when I come, Donna. My hands tangle in your hair as I kiss you. "I want you," I breathe, and I flip us over, careful not to crush your hair as it splays out on the pillow. My tip is already at your wet entrance and if I were to push right now, I'd be inside you, but I wait. I want to make sure you're here with me.

•∞•

Before I know it, I'm on my back again and you are hovering above me and I can feel you pressing against my heat. This is it. I want you, Harvey. All of you. You pause for a second and I know it's to make sure we can do this without protection. I trust you, Harvey, and you trust me, too. Besides, I am protected. We don't even need words to communicate this. A nod is enough.

I take you in my hand and position you further, granting you permission to enter. To enter my heart, body and soul. With a subtle shift on your part, we are joined together, and I think I might cry. Our joining was such a long time in the making, and now you're finally here. We never break eye contact. Your dark eyes telling me all I need to know.

You move slowly at first, filling me whole, before pulling almost all the way out and repeating your motion, slowly picking up speed while you do. The pace is perfect for my already oversensitive area. I meet your every thrust and I feel my arousal building, but I don't care about coming a second time. You already had me scream your name once. I'm not sure I want to give you the satisfaction again. Besides, I'm pretty sure you won't hold out long enough anyway. But that's ok. I want you to climax.

You slow your pace and drop your head, kissing a trail from my collarbone up to my ear. I let my nails roam across your back, and I feel more than hear another stern "Donna" sending a shiver up my spine. You say something else, although it doesn't register. Your breathing in my ear is exhilarating. I can't think while you let your tongue flick on the inner parts and it's the hottest thing I've ever had to endure, sending a shot straight to my core. I writhe beneath you as another orgasm nears. What the hell? Where did that come from? You move your mouth to my lips as I gasp from the loss of stimulation. You are driving me wild and I am just putty in your hands.

You push my legs up, holding on to them. I love the view of your muscles flexing while you move inside of me, and this angle is perfect for hitting the right spot, as well. Damn you, Harvey, you're going to make me come again. I try to keep my eyes open but it's nearly impossible with the state of trance I find myself in. You start rubbing my clit and all I can moan is "I'm so close." I see you clench your jaw as I look up and I know you're close, too. You increase the pace and push me over the edge so fast, I never saw it coming.

I get to wrap my arms around you again when you bury your face in my pillow and your moans become louder. A wonderful 'fuuuuck' leaves your lips and I can feel your body jerk from your own orgasm. I massage your scalp as you ride out the waves. My heart is beating so fast, I don't think it will ever slow down. Let's just stay like this forever.

•∞•

A nod on your part tells me all I need to know: we're good to go. I trust you, Donna and you know you can trust me, too. I let you guide me inside of you and our bodies merge. Damn, you feel so good. I want to savor this feeling, this moment. It is our second first time and I want to remember every detail, but right now, I have to focus on not coming within the next two minutes. I'm a goner, because you are meeting my thrusts one by one and that look on your face telling me to keep going is so damn sexy, I have to slow down.

I bury my face in your neck, hoping it'll alleviate my urgency. It does for a bit, but there you go again with your nails on my back, trying to coax me to continue and I warn you by breathing your name in your ear. 'I'm not gonna last," I add, and I can sense a shiver running through you, as I lick and suck on your earlobe and let my tongue trail your ear. You really seem to like me doing that and I make a mental note. I continue my work, kissing you while I do, letting our tongues meet. I want you with me when I come, Donna. So, I'm gonna try and do what I can.

While keeping our connection, I push myself onto my knees, letting your legs rest on my shoulders. I know this angle will be great for going deeper and I hope I can make us both come simultaneously. I bend forward slightly and let my hips do the work. Every stroke feels like a little bit of heaven. The way your breasts bounce, the way your hair is splayed on the pillow, the way you meet my eyes every now and then. Everything about this is perfect and I will remember this forever, no matter what happens.

Your moans increase and I proudly think I may have made the right decision. I rub my thumb over your clit, bringing you closer to the edge. You grab a hold of the comforter and tell me you're nearing release as I feel my own orgasm approaching. I thrust and stroke and within moments you let out the most wonderful screams of pleasure and I take it as my cue to release, too, as I let go of your legs. I bury my face next to yours once more while I let my orgasm swallow me whole. Your touch is soothing as I come down from my peak. I'm staying here for a while, because right now, I need a minute to recover and I think you do, too, judging by the rhythm of your heartbeat.

After a while I pull out and I miss the contact instantly. I roll off of you and drag you on top of me. I smile to myself and for the first time in a very long time, I feel pure joy. Having you in my arms is all I really ever wanted.

•∞•

Our union has ended and my head is resting on your chest. You pulled the comforter over us when you noticed I was shivering and we lie in the dark, taking in what just happened. I've never been this comfortable in my own bed. I can feel the faint beating of your heart as my leg runs up and down yours. I am spent and I think you are, too. It's not just from the physical exertion, but from every unspoken word that still lingers between us. There's so much I want to say to you, things we have to talk about, however I just don't know where to start.

The high brought on by passionate sex is slowly wearing off and I want this moment to last forever. I'm afraid that the second we allow reality to set in, we will screw it up. Both of us. We were never able to get our timing right before, why would this time be any different? You say my name again and if nothing else, I will never get tired of hearing you say 'Donna' in that deep baritone of yours.

•∞•

As much as I love the afterglow we both seem to be basking in, lying here in the dark with you, I feel uncertainty rising between us. We need to connect the way we just did, only on a different level. I want us to, Donna. I'm ready. I think. But where to begin? The only opener I can think of is you kissing me out of the blue. If we can talk about your feelings, maybe we can postpone having to talk about mine. I'm pretty proud of myself for coming up with it, so with a smile on my face I ask you if you really didn't feel anything, because I find it hard to believe you didn't. I know I did.

•∞•

You wait for me to meet your eyes before you ask: "Did you really not feel anything when you kissed me in your office?" Your tone is teasing, like you caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, a small smile playing about your lips. It eases my nerves a little and I am grateful for the break in silence. You're pretty sure of my answer and I am happy to tell you what you think you already know. "I didn't. Only because you made it clear that there was no way you wanted more, so instead of being honest about my feelings…" I trail off and inhale deeply. "…I lied." It's out.

I didn't mean to put any blame on you, but I can tell from the hurt look on your face, that you do feel some of it. Damn my stupid timing. "I'm sorry," I hear you say, and I have to explain that it wasn't your fault. "Harvey, I am the one that should be sorry. You were with Paula. I don't know what I was thinking, but Mike and even Louis had gotten to me. Their words kept repeating over and over again and at the same time I felt you slipping away, and I just did what I did." I can't stop, the words keep coming and it's so nice to finally say them out loud to you. "And when I felt you lean into the kiss, I knew that I wanted to be with you. I don't know what I thought was gonna happen. It wasn't like I was expecting you to dump Paula and set off into the sunset with me. Or maybe I was hoping for that…" It's a revelation to myself, too. I continue, "…either way, I get why you reacted the way you did. And I am sorry for putting you in that position. I guess our timing has always been a little off…" I let the words hang between us and wait for your reply.

•∞•

I was hoping for a short 'Of course I felt something', but you make me realize I was the one who made you hide your feelings in the first place. I'm so sorry, Donna.

I listen to you tell me you wanted to be with me when I was with Paula. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done if you had told me the truth then. There have been many moments in the past thirteen odd years where you have indicated you were open to more, and I was always afraid to pursue it; too afraid that it wouldn't work, and we could no longer work together. We'd lose our friendship, everything we are. But I've come to realize that not being with you is a fate far worse and you need to know it.

There is a heaviness in my heart and I feel compelled to explain. "No, I really am sorry, Donna. Sorry for not realizing sooner that you are the one. Sorry for not…" I swallow hard as a lump forms in my throat. "Sorry for wasting so much time. Sorry fo…" You cut me off by pressing your lips to mine. It's just so goddamn much. You comfort me like no other can and I let myself drown in your kiss.

•∞•

I watch your face go from playful to sad as you talk. I just can't stand to see you in any kind of pain. My heart breaks for you, listening to you apologize. If you cry now, I won't be able to contain my own tears. I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around you and tell you it's okay; that you don't have to be sorry about anything. So, I do just that and I feel you relax against me.

Apparently, you realized I am the one and hope rises within me. It's so wonderful to hear you say it, although there is a reluctance in me to believe it. What does it mean? I want desperately for the words to be true, but our track record isn't exactly great. I need more. My voice breaks as I say: "I just need to know if this is really what you want…" It's not exactly a question, still, if you're not 100% sure, then maybe we shouldn't do this. I like to think I am a strong, independent woman, yet I am at your mercy, Harvey. My heart is in your hands and you have the power to smash it.

•∞•

You are looking for affirmation when you ask if this is really what I want, and I can tell you're scared I won't be able to say the things you need to hear. So, I roll on top of you, because I need you to know how serious I am. I won't let anything stand in the way of us every again. Something about wild horses. The quick rollover has caused a strand of hair to fall over your face. You are so beautiful to me as I linger above you. You're waiting for me to say something and I gently push the lock of hair behind your ear. Your eyes are hopeful, but I can tell you're close to tears, still afraid that I will tell you I don't want more, like I've done over and over again. It's almost too much for me to bear.

"Donna…", I feel a nervousness I haven't felt before. Maybe because there's never been this much at stake. My body is shivering, and my breathing quickens. I inhale and say the words I've said to you previously, however there's a new significance to them: "I love you, Donna." I pause, before adding: "I want to be with you." Allowing myself to say this out loud, means that I have so much more to lose and I am simultaneously filled with love and dread, but my words seem to have registered with you, because your eyes are as wide as I've ever seen them, no trace of fear left on your face.

Your arms wrap around my neck and you kiss me feverishly. There is something desperate about it as you hold me tight. Your touch soothes me, and I relax into it. But then I feel a wetness against my cheek. I pull back again, and you are not immediately ready to let go. An unsettling feeling arises. What don't you want me to see? Donna, please let me in.

•∞•

You pin me under you and as much as I love your weight on top of me, I can tell you're nervous, too. My eyes well up as I wait for you to speak. I can't stand the silence, please just tell me. And then you do. Love. The words reverberate through me and fill me from head to toe. Those floodgates open. The ones that have been closed off for thirteen years, with all the hurt, joy, pain and pleasure we experienced together. All of a sudden, I don't have to pretend anymore. No more pretending I don't love you that way, no more pretending I am happy for you when you tell me about your latest love interest, no more pretending I want to date anybody else. No more pretending. Period. But I don't even know who I am around you without that armor on, and it frightens me.

It's all too much and as I kiss you, I hope the tears that have started flowing will go unnoticed, because I don't want you to worry. However, you must have felt them, too, because you pull back, concerned. And without saying a word, your hand is soft against my cheek as your thumbs do all the work wiping at the wetness. Your eyes are soft and loving and I am reminded how good you can be at the whole comfort thing. I lose myself in them as I finally find my voice. "I love you, too, Harvey," I sob softly, yet I try to smile. I fail at convincing you not to worry. "What's wrong," you ask softly, and I recognize you are just as afraid as I am, aren't you?

Lying here now, my vulnerability showing in all its glory and you silently consoling me, I feel safer than ever before. "I'm just a bit overwhelmed, Harvey. That's all." I can tell from the look on your face that you feel the exact same way. I pull your face towards mine and leave a lingering kiss on your lips. The consequences our words have are slowly sinking in.

You calm me with your nearness. Your body pressed onto mine. Your face just inches away. "What brought you here tonight?" I ask, while running my fingers up and down your arms. I need to know what's changed. You move to rest beside me on the pillow. Our upper bodies apart, our legs still intertwined. You're propped up on your elbow; your arm resting on my stomach.

•∞•

You try to smile through the tears, and I think my heart is about to explode. Seeing you cry, seeing you in any kind of pain is unbearable to me. I wipe them away and I see your face relax beneath my touch and you utter the words I desperately needed to hear. You love me, too, but you can't stop the tears from falling and I have to ask what's wrong, even though I am not sure I can handle the answer. You explain that you're just feeling overwhelmed and I know exactly how you feel.

Your vulnerability is a sight to behold. You really are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You take my face in your hands and I let you kiss me again, because if that is what you need, that is exactly what I will give. I listen to the question I know was coming and I take a deep breath. The answer should be easy, but it's not.

I move to the side, propping myself up on one arm, while I drape the other over your belly. You wait for me to speak as I fumble in the darkness of my mind to find the words. I begin slowly: "We lost Robert today, but he saved the firm." You confirm you knew while anticipating the rest of my response. "Everyone had somebody to go home to and I realized that you were the one I wanted to share this with. I want to share everything with you. It's always been you." I swallow back another lump forming in my throat. You're the only person that's always been there for me. You've always believed in me. You know everything there is to know about me, all my history..." I don't think I can stop even if I wanted to. I take your hand in mine and press it to my heart as I continue tentatively: "And still you..." I want to say 'love me', but I don't want to sound pretentious. "…accept me for who I am. And I already knew all of this, but I realized that I do want more, Donna." My eyes well up and I fight the tears. Only you have this effect on me. "My life means nothing without you in it." There is something I need to add. "When I saw you and Thomas together... I hated every second of it." I may have masked it before, but I'm jealous as hell when it comes to you. "I thought I'd lost you. Again." I can't hide the pain. Losing you will forever be my greatest fear.

•∞•

Harvey Specter is in my bed, naked, telling me he wants more. It's all I've ever wanted to hear from you, Harvey. And now my world as I know it no longer exists. I should be scared, but I am not. Not anymore. I let you take my hand as you explain. My heart overflows with love at your words and the tears you wiped away earlier are threatening to spill again if you keep this up. I'm such a mess and it's clear you are overcome by emotion, too and I am grateful we are in this together. I let you finish, even though I want to kiss you so badly right now.

I listen to you telling me how you thought you lost me again and your words break my heart. How many ways are you going to tell me you love me, Harvey? I want nothing more than to reassure you as I gently place the hand you held in yours on your face. "You didn't lose me, Harvey. You can never lose me." I see a hint of a smile appearing, as you blink hard. I can tell you want to believe me. I move on top of you to add a kiss to my statement. I pull back and almost lose myself in your adoring eyes. You opening up to me about your feelings means more than I can ever express. "Believe it or not, I think we're stuck with each other, because I don't think I can live without you in my life, either…" It's a sad truth, though fighting it would be useless. I find your lips again and you pull me as close as possible, wrapping your arms around me tightly.

A realization dawns on me.

"Harvey, are you telling me that you came over here tonight and kissed me because you thought you were losing me, even though for all you knew I was still with Thomas?" I chuckle. You're an idiot. A really cute one. "Shit, Donna…" You trail off. The hypocrisy of your actions has finally caught up with you and you want to apologize, but I shut you up by pressing my lips to yours. It doesn't matter anymore. None of it does. All that matters, is that you're here now. We both are.

•∞•

I feel exposed after having told you why I came here tonight. I didn't think I'd be able to get it all out without bawling my eyes out, yet being here with you… I feel like I can do anything. I feel safe. The love on your face when you tell me we're stuck together is evident. It's comforting to hear, however messed up it might be. Deep down inside I know we share the same fears and it makes me love you even more.

You kiss me and I never want to let you go, ever again.

Our tongues find each other in a blistering kiss, and I am about ready to make love to you again, but you stop and I wait for you. You seem to be smirking before you lay out that I did the exact same thing to you as you did to me. Shit. Was I really that blind? How did I not see it before? I feel like an idiot, yet, you're kissing me again and I have a feeling it all doesn't matter anymore. From now on, it's just you and me.

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first Suits fic and it's been a while since I've written anything, so your comments are welcome. I intend to update this with more, since I have a lot of ideas for these two...