In… out… in… out…

I reminded myself to breathe – in through my nose, out through my mouth… slow deep breaths.

In… out… in… out…

Pace yourself, I thought, allowing the frigid air to hit my lungs, at the same time pumping my legs faster and faster. Duck under the long-hanging twigs, side-step the thicker, gnarly snow-covered roots, spin past the spindly bush reaching out with their sharp needles, waiting to tear into exposed flesh. Leap over the ditches almost unseen in the darkness, swing from the icy branches overhead, catapulting into the sky with a hoot of glee and landing on the balls of my feet, pushing off again without a second's hesitation. I knew every root, rock, and entity in the thick wood that encompassed the estate on three sides, broken only by the double-wide driveway that connected our home to the main road about a quarter mile away.

11:58.37

Almost there.

Gritting my teeth, I allowed myself to relax into my run – to truly feel the Great Mother's earth beneath my feet, to sense every thread of life interconnected around me. Almost immediately, my senses sharpened and the darkness opened up to me in a way that I hadn't experienced in a long time. I flew faster through the trees, my hair whipping behind me like a trail of blood red ribbons waving in the wind. I felt an almost primal awareness begin to spread inside of me and suddenly, I sensed her.

She was huge – about the size of a fully grown riding horse. Her fur was sleek and shiny, jet black. She was a shadow, slipping through the trees even faster and more gracefully than I. Her glowing golden eyes were two daggers that tracked me past every tree trunk and around every bush. Her enormous teeth flashed under the moon's light as she bared them at me in a challenging grin.

11:59.00

I jumped, landing on a thick and springy root underfoot, using the momentum to shoot myself upwards towards the branch overhead. Grabbing hold with my gloved hands, I swung around the branch once and shot off into the air. There was a moment of pure weightlessness before I felt her get into position, and as I descended back to the earth, her powerful, muscled body received mine and we shot out of the tree-line and out into open space. I grabbed handfuls of her thick hair and leaned forward into her, allowing my body to ease into the fluid motion of hers as we bolted across the grounds, a blur underneath the moon's watchful eye and the great manor that rose up before us.

Keeping close to the tree-line that ran parallel to the back of the manor, we kissed the shadows and then Nova broke right, shooting towards the servants' partially hidden entrance at the back right corner of the house. As soon as we were within 20 feet of the house, I felt Nova's body shrink and found my own feet on the ground. As she shifted from a great, giant wolf into the form of a small black cat, we slinked into the house unnoticed and raced silently through the marble halls.

With hardly ten seconds to spare, I hit the corner and slid into the informal living room, where a fire roared and instantly chased away the ice in my body. Ripping my gloves off and dropping into my favorite armchair before the fire, I smiled at the small pile of gifts before me.

Five…

Four…

Three…

Two…

One…

At exactly midnight, I slid from the chair to my knees before the fire, grabbed the seven-pointed star pendant around my neck, and bowed my head to the flames in reverence as several things happened.

It was now the day of the winter solstice, a day of great power and energy observed by my people for centuries. It brought with it the longest night and is said that when the first Long Night occurred at the same time as a full blood moon, my people rose from the spirit of wolves. We are believed to be at our strongest on this day, and every year there are great festivals and rituals taking place all over the world to praise the Great Mother, and the Sun and Moon Goddesses. They say that great and terrible things can occur on a day like this – things that can never be explained or prevented, only experienced.

It was also my 14th birthday.

My father had been so fiercely proud that I had been born on the winter solstice, sure that it was a sign of the great power contained within me. He'd filled my head with such stories of greatness from birth that sometimes even I almost believed I could take on the world.

At 12:01 AM, a small envelope popped into existence above my head and dropped into my lap, a familiar neat handwriting adorned the front, addressing me in sparkling green ink. My stomach dropped. It was my mother's handwriting, I'd know it anywhere.

Even Nova, now a small black and white husky pup, whined and inched forward, sniffing the envelope and lowering her head in sadness. I reached down and patted her head, drawing comfort from her as much as I gave it.

To my most beloved daughter, Gia…

The only way this letter could've appeared would be if either she or father had set up a timer-spell on the letter to be delivered to me at that moment. I felt a small bit of dread creep into my stomach…how old was the letter? How early before her death had she written it?

My hands nearly trembled just holding the paper in my hands, knowing that my mother had, at some point, held this very same envelope after writing whatever it was that was inside. Knowing that I wouldn't even care about the gifts that father had left for me if I opened mother's letter first, I gingerly set it to the side for the moment and pulled the first package into my lap, Nova now bouncing around excitedly around me, her tail thumping the floor.

I was pretty impressed – my father had certainly gone all out this year, even though all of the gifts were for practical use. There were two advanced spellbooks on dark curses, a book on unconventional magical warfare, a book on training various wild animals in combat, and…a copy of the Wilde family grimoire.

"I didn't think he'd let me have this until my 17th birthday," I muttered, running my finger over the ancient skin and bone binding that had been used to create the grotesque thing. But it held the secrets and greatest strengths of my father's side of the family and I couldn't wait to truly tap into my potential. Setting it to the side, I also opened a new wand holster for my thigh, a whole set of custom-made daggers and two short-swords, a few pieces of truly beautiful fine jewelry, and…

My breath caught as I tore open the shapeless package. I could tell that it was some type of clothing and had assumed that father had commissioned another tailor-made dress for me, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Unfolding the garment, I realized that there were actually several pieces enclosed in the package. It seemed to be some type of battle-suit. Completely black, a thick but flexible and fluid material, body temperature moderated, made with countless places to conceal weapons and who knows what else. Knowing my father, it was probably spelled against extreme weather and temperature conditions, most common spells and mortal weapons like knives and bullets. It came with a set of calf-high boots, matching gloves, and a hood that could be turned into tight, sleek face mask if needed.

It was every protégée's dream.

I wasn't surprised at the quality of the suit or that my father had gone all out on it. After all, he'd been grooming and training me since birth to one day take his place as Head of the Guild, a small army of assassins and underground businesses under his control, which had been passed down through the Wilde family for generations, always changing and evolving with time.

I would have to think of something especially sweet to thank my father with when he returned from his current business overseas, but now I could finally turn to the birthday surprise that I truly cared about. With trembling fingers, I picked up the envelope and didn't hesitate to rip it open. My eyes simply washed over the entire page, soaking in her beautiful script, knowing that her skin had brushed across this surface as she found the words to leave with me on my birthday. Taking a deep breath and allowing Nova to curl up in my lap, I read:

A mi bella princesa, Gia,

First, I must implore you to read this letter alone and to burn its contents when you are finished. You'll understand a little better in a moment, but for now, just trust your mama.

"What the…" I muttered, instantly confused.

I write this letter as I look upon your sweet, sleeping face – so innocent and oblivious to the world despite the choices your father and I have made and the life we've built for you. The thought of losing you or being away from you brings me the greatest pain I have ever known, but if you are reading this letter, than my fears and the signs the Great Mother has sent to me were true.

There are certain things that I simply couldn't risk putting in this letter for fear that it would fall into the wrong hands… your father's hands…

"Father? I don't…understand…" I whispered, absently scratching behind Nova's ears.

…but I have left information in places where, if you desire to know, you would have the means to access it. I was left in the dark for far too long and I cannot bear to think of what kind of life lies ahead for you if I do not tell you what I can now and at least give you the choices that I never had.

First and foremost, I love you with all my heart and soul, and know that I never would've left you willingly. But there were things that weren't adding up and I refused to be lied to any further. I went digging into your father's businesses and learned more than I ever wanted to know, things that made my skin crawl to think about…things that terrified me. I don't know who your father is anymore, Gia. He is not the same kind, loving man that I knew when I met him. He has been tainted by something dark and evil, and I couldn't allow it to remain anywhere near you. I had to act on what I knew, but clearly, if things transpired as I suspect, I was in over my head.

I knew that there was the risk of retaliation if your father was to find out about my knowledge and lack of trust in him, and if you're reading this, then my fears have come to pass. I can't tell you exactly what I learned but know that I did what I could to give you every protection against this great evil that your father has brought into our lives. You must know the truth, Gia, as much as it may hurt and pain you as it did to me. You're an intelligent and extremely powerful girl with the full might of magic and the Sun and Moon Goddesses inside of you. I know that you'll make the right choices.

I know that there are far darker and greater depths that your father has sunken to by the time you read this letter, and I wanted to wait until you were old enough and independent enough to understand. I implore you to heed my warning. I know that you love your father, as I once did, but if there comes a time when you feel as though the estates is no longer safe or truly a home to you, you have the options and means to get away. Your father has done things that will bring down the wrath of the Gods upon us and I pray that you do not allow him to destroy you along with him. If you decide to stay, know that I will always love you and be proud of you. But if you decide to leave and seek out the truth, know that you'll find much more than information on the other side. One day, you will understand why we did the things we did, my love, and I pray that you forgive us for being human.

If you wish to know more, just follow your heart – it's the perfect compass to lead you back home.

I love you more than all the stars in all the skies in all the universes, Gia.

Happy birthday,

Your loving Mama.

There it was… in my mother's own words – the lever that brought my entire world out from under me. Though she hadn't explicitly stated it, I was smart enough to read between the lines.

"But…father…he would nev –" I stopped, shaking my head at my own foolishness. My father commanded an army that killed people on a daily basis with no trace and no remorse. He was capable of anything. "But having my mother…his wife… killed? What could she have found out that was so horrifying?"

Nova whined and pawed at the floor as I reread the letter twice, three times… over and over again, but no matter how many times the words slammed into me, they still made no sense.

"He – he wouldn't do that…" I growled quietly, clenching the letter in my fist.

Wouldn't he… if it meant keeping his secrets and his power? That treacherous voice at the back of my head whispered.

"This isn't happening…not today!" I moaned, gripping my hair in my hands. But even as I denied the words aloud, my heart said differently. My head was a maelstrom of confused thoughts and enraged emotions, and when I could no longer stand the sickening silence of the dark living room, I jumped from the couch with Nova right on my heels.

Running on silent feet, I bolted through the dimly lit marble hallways and up the stairs toward the imposing, dark double doors that led to my father's bedroom suite. Rapping my fist sharply against the hard wood, I could hardly think with my heart pounding so ferociously in my ears. I banged on the door twice more.

"Dammit, I forgot he's away," I cursed, pausing with my hand still poised to knock again. I hesitated for only a second before spinning on my feet and taking off down the stairs again. Desperation, fear, and anger coursed through my blood like venom – nothing made sense anymore. I felt bad for Nova – as my familiar, she was intimately connected with my magic and emotions and I knew that she could sense everything that I was feeling in the moment.

Hidden behind the rather grand double-staircase was my father's private study, a place where only those that were invited could enter. A place where I had been well-versed in the family businesses and the responsibilities that would one day be expected of me.

Consequences be damned, I pushed open the door, unsurprised that it was physically unlocked. My father commanded such fear and respect that I doubt he thinks anyone would be brave enough…or stupid enough to go into his private study unwarranted.

I almost expected to see him seated behind the large, mahogany desk in that high-backed chair before the window, a stack of papers on the desk before him. But the room was as empty as the rest of the manor.

Nova brushed past my legs and entered the room first, sniffing around before she gave me the okay to enter. I didn't know whether to laugh at my father's arrogance or worry that this had all been too easy. I had never attempted to forcefully enter his study uninvited for fear of whatever magical protections he may have placed on it. But nothing happened as I pushed open the door a bit wider and stepped fully inside, though I stopped dead when I realized that something was so very wrong with this picture.

My father, who prided himself on image and organization, had left his study in disarray: the drawers of his desk were clumsily closed, there were papers and parchments strewn all over the place, stacks of folders were spread out along the top of his desk. "Whatever he left for must've been important," I whispered, "if he left his office like this. He must've left in a hurry."

As my bare feet sank into the thick carpeted floor, I briefly considered backing out of the room and returning to my own room to await my father's return, but my curiosity won out and I quietly closed the door behind me and walked over to his desk. I began straightening up his papers and folders, already composing the conversation that my father and I dearly needed to have upon his arrival.

It was as I restacked what looked like old reports from the Guild bookkeeping records that something caught my attention. It was two names that I was more than familiar with – they belonged to my grandparents, who had passed away a few years back, just before my mother. What chilled my blood to the core, however, was the fact that their names were printed on the reports that were filed after my father's men completed a job.

"It's not like that…it's not," I whispered, even as I reached to tug the reports out from under the rest. But there it was – the intimate and gruesome details about the murder of my paternal grandparents. It was enough to make me physically sick and it took everything to refrain from emptying my guts onto the expensive carpet.

I had never understood why my father had insisted on an empty casket if they'd died peacefully…until now.

My mother's written words came crashing down upon me all over again, and soon the cold anger and grief rose with it, wrapping around me and dragging me into its depths. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks and I dropped into the armchair behind the desk, my face in my hands as harsh sobs racked my body. Nova, affected by my emotions, curled up in a ball at my feet and whined.

I wanted to snap.

I wanted to howl with anger and rage and destroy everything in that office.

But I could hardly move.

Biting my knuckles until they nearly bled, I forced back the tears and hysteria. I couldn't lose it like this right now. Resting my elbows on my knees, I dropped my head and took deep breaths.

In and out... in and out… in, out…

Soon, I felt cold as ice, and just as hard, as if all of my emotions had condensed and froze over. Slowly but surely, I regained control over myself and narrowed my eyes in contemplation.

"What kind of information could my mother possibly have found out…that would make her own husband order her murder?" I asked no one in particular. "What kind of man has his own people kill his parents?" And then the worst question creeped its way into my thoughts.

Was I next?

I paused…

And then I was everywhere at once, ransacking every drawer in the desk, every file cabinet, and even all of the secret stashes and hiding spots my father didn't even know that I knew existed – I found nothing. Frustration mounting, as a last resort, I sat back at my father's desk and ran my fingertips underneath it where my father usually kept his spare gun. Just as I thought, I found the gun and put it on top of the desk, and ran my fingers along the underside of the desk again, but even then I found nothing.

I was past hurt and simple anger – I was positively fuming. Looking around the office in a red haze, thoughts of vengeance and spite racing through my head, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and snatched a pen off the desk. Of all the hateful words and yes, even the pained accusations that I wanted to write down on that paper, I simply couldn't encapsulate everything I wanted to say. Instead, I wrote:

I know everything

That was it – just those three words.

Standing up, I wiped the wetness from my face in cold disgust. I kept the report on my grandparents – I knew that a similar document probably existed for my mother but I hadn't found it during my search. I put the note on the desk and knew it wouldn't be missed; I placed the gun beside it. I had no use for it.

Scooping Nova's small form into my arms, I left the study, kicking the door shut behind me and paused.

What was I going to do?

Hurrying back to the informal living room, I looked down at the pile of discarded wrapping paper and quickly-forgotten presents from my father. I wanted to throw it all in the fire but a small sort of flame flickered to life inside of me. My father had given me the very tools I needed to confront him. Waving my hand, all of the gifts rose in the air, ready to trail behind me wherever I went. Looking over my mother's letter once more, I crushed it in my fist and tossed it into the fire, not wasting a second to watch it burn. Turning on my heel, I raced back up to my bedroom suite with Nova in my arms.

Closing and locking the door behind me, I tried to think quickly. Running to my walk-in closet, I stripped out of my dirty hunting clothes and yanked on thick leggings, boots, a sweater, and a hooded cloak – all black. Shaking my long, thick curls loose, I pulled my star pendant from underneath my shirt and realized that for the first time in memory, it was pulsing and glowing. I ran my finger over the smooth amber surface, allowing my finger to trail around the edges, brushing over all seven points when I felt a small prick and a millisecond of suction, as if the damn thing had sucked the blood from my finger. The pulsing sped up and the necklace lifted from my chest on its own, moving around as if trying to gain its bearings. Suddenly, the pulsing stopped and the glowing had shrunk until only one point of the star remained lit. I finally realized what the necklace had been meant for and my mother's words made sense.

If you wish to know more, just follow your heart – it's the perfect compass to lead you back home.

The necklace had been a dormant compass the entire time… but where did it lead?

Home…my mother's voice seemed to whisper directly in my ear.

Walking back into my bedroom, I spotted my wand resting on the bedside table. Holding out my hand, it flew to me and I caught it with practiced ease. Waving it, everything my room and closet begin to neatly fold and organize itself. A small black duffel bag flew from underneath my bed and rested in the center of the room as everything shrunk itself to neatly fit inside. The last items to be packed away were the gifts from my father. I slipped the bag over my head to rest on one shoulder and looked around my bare room one last time.

"Some birthday, huh Nova? I said quietly, holding out my arms. "Let's go."

With a soft yip, she ran across the bed and leapt into my arms, allowing me to carry her out onto the wide balcony that overlooked the rolling, snow-covered expanse of our estate. The moon was high overhead and it must've been at least one or two o'clock in the morning as a strong, cold breeze began to pick up. I carefully set Nova on the thick banister that surrounded the balcony, where she balanced for a second before swiftly shifting from a husky pup into a giant black raven.

"Such a smart girl," I murmured, stroking her smooth feathers, knowing she'd picked a bird that wouldn't be too noticeable at night.

I gently grabbed a handful of feathers and climbed up onto the banister, and took a second to admire the view from so high up. My family had traveled the world many times over but this was the only home I had ever known…and now I never wished to return.

Facing Nova, I jumped and swung my leg over her back, settling into my riding spot just behind her powerful wings. I pulled the neck of my sweater up over my face to protect against the polar wind, clenched her great body with my knees and held my breath as she abrupt leapt off the balcony and fell into a steep dive.

I had always hated the feeling off freefalling but I trusted Nova more than most humans. The wind whipped at us and I watched the ground race to meet us, but I had complete faith in my familiar and our years of training together. And sure enough, as we'd done a hundred times, Nova opened her wings and we soared back up into the sky. Finding her wind, Nova flew swiftly and soon we were on our way.

I didn't look back.