Chapter 6: Or Do we Balance Each Other?

"Here," Renji said, smiling kindly as he reached through the bars of the cell and placed a hot cup of tea on the small table, "It's ginger tea. You usually ask for it when you're upset about something."

Bya remained sitting on the cot in the cell, facing away from the redhead and seeming as though he hadn't heard.

"Bya?"

The prisoner remained still and silent.

Renji looked back in the direction of the front office, then removed a key from his pocket and started to unlock the cell. Bya's voice sounded suddenly.

"Don't, Renji."

"What? Why not?" Renji asked, "I just want to help you. What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?"

Bya bit at his lip gently and struggled to find an answer. Sensing his difficulty, Renji unlocked the cell and stepped inside, but stopped as he came into position to see the man's face. Tears ran in streams down his proud face, although he continued to make no sound as he cried.

"Hey," Renji said, sitting down, "What is it? Were you thinking about that dream you had again?"

Bya sniffed softly and nodded.

"Did you remember something?" the redhead asked.

"P-perhaps. Renji, you need to bring Byakuya."

"Why? What do you need to tell him? Is it about your nightmare?"

"Yes. Please tell him to come now."

An odd, nervous ache in his belly, Renji left the cell and walked out to the office, where Byakuya was hard at work.

"Uh, Captain?"

"Hmmm?"

"Bya says that he needs to see you."

"Very well."

Renji watched for a few minutes as Byakuya continued to work, and showed no sign of getting up to go and see the other man.

"Captain? I am...sorry to bother you..."

He broke off as Byakuya's eyes lifted from the pages on front of him and fixed on the redhead.

"Well?" the noble prompted him.

"Sir, he is crying and saying that he really needs to see you. It sounds important."

"I will take care of it. You should attend to the squad training now."

"Y-yes sir," Renji said, letting out a worried breath.

"Renji."

"Sir?"

"You are becoming too emotionally involved with him. I do not think I need to warn you about the dangers of that."

"No, sir."

"Go on, then. I will see to the prisoner."

"Yes, sir," Renji said, turning away.

He left the headquarters and walked out to the training grounds, his mind spinning the details of the situation around and going over them repeatedly.

I just can't figure out what's going on here. I can't decide from moment to moment which one of them I should trust...or if I should trust either of them. Captain seems like himself, but what can I do with the fact that he hurt Tetsuya, himself, even if he did it to protect him? And Bya...he came back seeming to be an imposter. But he has done more to destroy his own credibility than anyone. Still, I believe him. Gods, what do I do?

"Vice Captain Abarai!" Rikichi greeted him, enthusiastically, "I have the training group prepared to begin."

"That's good," Renji said, looking from Rikichi to the squad building, "Tell you what. You run warmups today, then have them spar in the same groups as last time, until I get back."

"Yes sir!" Rikichi said, flash stepping away.

Renji walked quietly to the back entrance of the building, and slipped inside, carefully concealing his reiatsu. He passed through the empty barracks and into the hallway where the holding cells were located, then ducked into an alcove as Byakuya appeared at the other end of the hallway and approached the cell.

He produced a key and unlocked the cell, then stepped inside and closed the door behind him. As Renji watched from his hiding place, Byakuya sat down on the edge of the cot, but Bya remained seated and facing away from him.

"Renji said that you were in some distress, and that you asked for me to come," Byakuya said in a low voice, "You know that you should not take such chances."

"My apologies," Bya said softly, "You seemed to be avoiding me. I know that the sight of me sickens you, but what I needed to say to you is important."

"Very well. Speak it."

Bya's eyes turned to meet his, and Byakuya frowned at seeing his tearstained face.

"I heard him calling me," Bya said in a voice that was nearly a whisper, "And I wondered. Was that just my imagination...just a dream? Or do you hear it too?"

"Shh!" Byakuya admonished him, looking around, "Of course I hear it! But you should not speak of it. Be quiet."

"But, Byakuya, you know what that means! Whatever he has planned, involves both of us!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Byakuya said sternly, "Aizen has no power over me. Remember, he let me go. He kept and corrupted you! I would never help him."

"But the fact that he is calling you means that he may have done something to you that you did not perceive! I know you have your powers and you are stronger, in every way, than I am. But that does not make you invulnerable!"

"You do not know what you are talking about. I merely hear his voice because I am a part of you...nothing more. If he is calling to you, then it is good that you cannot go to him. Be thankful that I am protecting you."

"Why are you protecting me, if you know that he wants to use me?" Bya asked sadly, "You've made it clear enough that you wish I would die! But you have realized, haven't you? You know now what he did to us?"

Byakuya gazed back at him darkly, but said nothing.

"Could you do it, Byakuya?" Bya went on, tears leaking onto his face again, "Could you knowingly kill your own heart? Your love for Hisana, for Rukia, Tetsuya and Renji? Our clan? What then would guide you? What then would you have?"

"You know the answer to that," Byakuya answered calmly, "I would protect them because, as clan leader and captain, it is my duty to do so. Affectations like the ones within you are not necessary to maintain my connections to other people. And all you are, Bya, is a gathering of needless emotions from within me that Aizen sought to use to further his goals."

"I wasn't the only one he used!" Bya hissed angrily, "You think that he let you go because he couldn't use you? Is that really what you think? Why wouldn't he have killed you? Why would he just let you go home?"

"He manipulated my sense of duty," Byakuya answered, frowning, "He manipulated you to find out what mattered to me, then used it to position me to be of use to him, yes. But I have not helped him in any way! For all of the time I have been free, I have conducted myself normally, and have done nothing to help him!"

"I am sure that made you feel safe, ne?" Bya asked pointedly, "He let you go, but he kept me so that when the time came, he could have us both in position to help him!"

"That is not true. I would not..."

"And you think I would?" Bya cried, turning and grabbing the front of Byakuya's haori in clenched hands.

"But you are weak and easy to use," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "I will not..."

"You will," Bya insisted, "Aizen is a master of manipulation, and you know it! He let you go so that you would let your guard down!"

"That is preposterous!," Byakuya replied with a hint of anger invading his voice, "My guard is not down. I am not vulnerable as you are. I only need to keep you away from him."

"No," Bya said, shaking his head, "We have to go to him together! We have to..."

"Are you crazy?" Byakuya asked furiously, "There is no way that I am letting you set foot in that cell! If you go to him, then he will unleash whatever he has planned. You must not even think of doing that. Stay here, Bya. Stay here, stay quiet and you will stay alive. But, if you go to him, I will kill you."

Bya's face paled, but he swallowed hard and, after a long hesitation, nodded in capitulation.

"I understand," he whispered sadly, turning away again, "I am sure that you are busy. You needn't trouble yourself with me anymore."

"You will remain here?"

"Yes."

"You will not attempt to leave, for any reason."

"I will not."

"And you will cease to take me away from my work with your emotional outbursts. The only thing you will summon me to tell me, is if you remember anything more about the dream that you had. Nothing else is relevant."

"I understand."

Byakuya started to stand, but caught sight of Bya's crumpled pose and paused.

"Would you like me to make you sleep for a while?" he asked quietly, "It might give you some relief."

Bya gave a sarcastic, sobbing laugh.

"You mean that I am embarrassing you and you would rather I was unconscious. You care nothing for my comfort."

"That is not true," Byakuya said, capturing Bya's chin with careful fingertips and turning his head so that their eyes met, "Even separated from me, you are a member of the Kuchiki clan, and that means that I will see to your humane treatment and general comfort, even while you are incarcerated. It is my duty, as your leader, to do that for you."

"Very well, then," Bya said, blinking more tears away, "Do what you will. It does not matter. You know what is beginning to happen to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I am a heart with no soul to complete me. If we remain separated, you must understand that I will eventually die. So...you will get your wish, Byakuya."

"I do not want you to die."

"But you said..."

"I said that I should have killed you then. That you survived is a matter of fate and Aizen's plans. Killing you now would serve no purpose."

"It would give you peace."

"No. I am afraid that nothing can do that now."

His eyes gazed down into Bya's solemnly.

"All peace ended when he broke us apart. I can live without you, but I will never be at peace...and we can never be made one again. Never. So, we will carry on as we can. That is all that is left to us."

He sent a gentle throb of kido through Bya's body and caught him as he began to collapse. He laid the other man down with surprising gentleness and gazed at him quietly for several long moments before rising and leaving him.

Renji watched him go, then fled the area, not daring to approach Bya and well aware that Byakuya was likely to check up on him to see what he was doing with the training, anyway. He reached the training grounds, just as Rikichi was sending the gathered shinigamis into ability based fighting groups for sparring. As he watched the groups work together, he felt the powerful brush of Byakuya's reiatsu, and saw his commanding officer watching in the distance.

Damn. He's suspicious. I think he realizes that I am suspicious of him, too. This is not good. I need help. From what the two of them said, it sounds like Captain was captured on Sokyoku Hill and Aizen did something that...that split him in two.

But, who in the hell am I going to go to?

I don't think the captain commander would like hearing that the captain who has been fighting alongside us is not exactly himself, or that Aizen was screwing with him...literally and figuratively! And forget telling Central 46! They'd either not believe me, or they might just make my captain disappear altogether. I guess there's nothing for it, but to go to Kisuke tonight...

"Renji?" Byakuya's voice said, jolting him back from his reverie.

"Ah, sorry, what was that, Captain?"

"If you are finished leading training, for now, I would like to see you in my quarters."

His...quarters?

"W-well, Captain, I..."

He paused as a hell butterfly arrived with a message from the captain commander. Byakuya listened carefully, then met Renji's eyes apologetically.

"We will have to have our discussion later. I must report to the first division."

Whew! Saved by the butterfly!

"I'll see you then, Captain," he answered, breathing an inward sigh of relief.

He watched Byakuya flash step away, then left dismissed the training group. He returned to the office, then slipped down the hall to where Bya slept. Unlocking the door, he entered the cell and sat down next to the prisoner, slipping a hand into his, and smiling as Bya stirred and opened his eyes.

"Hey, you feeling better?" he asked, kindly.

"A bit," Bya replied softly, sitting up, "It is good to see you, Renji."

"I just wanted to check on you before I left for the day. Is there anything you need?"

"Arigato, no."

"Okay," Renji said, squeezing his hand gently, "Look, I am going to go to Kisuke Urahara."

He loosed a soft chuckle at the unhappy expression the words earned.

"Hey, you may not get along perfectly, but the guy is really smart. I am sure that if anyone can find a way to help you, he can. I'm going to go talk to him about what's going on. I can't go to the Gotei 13 or Central 46 with this, you know."

"Right," Bya agreed, "They would think we were all insane, not just me."

"Heheh, cute Captain," the redhead chuckled, "Anyway, I am sure that Kisuke will be able to help us. You just stay here and rest, okay?"

"But, shouldn't I go with you?" Bya asked, "Isn't he likely to need material samples of some kind?"

"I don't know what he'll need, or if he'll be able to help, but I'm going to find all that out. Just, try to stay out of trouble until I get back, okay? No picking fights with Captain or trying to sneak out."

"I will be on my best behavior, of course," the noble said, looking amused, "But Renji, promise me that you will be careful. If Byakuya realizes what you are doing, I am not sure how he will react. He is still the person you know, but he is..."

"He's unpredictable right now," Renji said, looking into Bya's eyes meaningfully, "And I think it's because he's missing a part of himself."

"Renji..."

Renji's hands curved around the sides of Bya's lovely face, and he kissed the noble gently and lingeringly.

"I overheard him talking to you. I think I understand what you were trying to say. Aizen broke you apart somehow, right?"

"I don't know," Bya said uncertainly, "Byakuya doesn't know, either. When I said those things, it was based on what I feel, what I sensed happening."

"I think you are right. I think you are Byakuya's heart...his conscience and his ability to personally connect. He is still an honorable man without you...but he's not whole. Without you...he isn't the man I know and love."

"But Renji, neither am I."

"Shh," the redhead said softly, kissing him again, "The two of you, together, are the captain I love. And if it is the last thing I do, I am going to see that you are made whole again, okay?"

"Arigato, Renji!" Bya said breathlessly, "I do not know what I would do without you!"