As always, thanks to those who read and reviewed! To miss geek, yes, I definitely agree about the need for more Jay/Kori, and hopefully more stories of this ship will update one of these days. Glad you thought I captured them well in the previous chapter! To Cuttingclass, thank you so much! I'm happy you liked the story structure — it's a different style than what I'm used to, so I'm relieved that it's going over well so far.
For those who have read my other StarX stories, just a quick survey: I want to know which one you guys prefer — Dissonance or No Notion of Halves? While I don't plan on putting either story on hiatus, I want to know which WIP I should focus on if I ever find myself with too little free time to split between the two fics.
To everyone else, enjoy the latest installment!
Then
Aerial twist, punch, punch . . . back tuck, leg sweep, high kick. . . .
Starfire flew through the air, striking at imaginary enemies. Fists flying, eyes glowing, she used every part of her body as a weapon, trying to recall half-forgotten moves she had learned many years ago on Okaara. There was little need to use them on Earth, as almost every opponent she and the Titans faced could be taken out with a super-powered blow and a well-placed starbolt, and the training she had received was too deadly to use on humans. Even so, she found it comforting to practice her old routines, to simply lose herself in training and to not have to worry if her punches were too heavy or if her starbolts were too lethal.
It was enough to distract her, if only for a little while, about problems she would rather not discuss. A way to compartmentalize, to address her issues without outright confronting them with words, to separate herself from emotions that would otherwise render her powerless and grounded.
Her friends, she knew, would not approve of this method, not when she was still healing from her injuries, but it couldn't be helped. Starfire needed this, needed a way to deal with what she was feeling, and X'hal knew that Robin would not —
It is always because of Robin.
Starfire set her hands aflame, and struck. Her starbolt bathed the training room in green light, briefly illuminating a shape looming in the shadows above, before the light sizzled out, leaving a smoking, burned patch on the wall. She flew up to see the figure, but it vanished just as her starbolt had flickered away.
From the floor below, someone called up to her, "So is this a bad time?"
Starfire whirled around. Red X was in the center of the combat room, a plastic bag in hand, and looking for all the world as if he owned the space where he stood.
"What are you doing here?" she said and flew down to meet him, careful to keep her distance.
"Promise you won't blast me?"
"I am considering it."
"Sheesh," he said blithely. "And here I thought you were warming up to me."
Starfire frowned at him. It was too dark to properly inspect his profile without needing to get closer to him, but she could see that he didn't have his cape on — he had used it for her injuries, she remembered — and his suit and mask were crumpled and covered in dust. Perhaps a remainder of what had transpired during their last encounter? Or maybe the dirt was from another mission, another one of his unfinished businesses?
"Why are you here, X?"
"Can't a guy get a girl dinner without getting a fireball thrown at him?"
Her eyes narrowed as her gaze landed on the bag he thrust in her direction. Without meaning to, she glided forward, intending to check the bag herself, but Red X had already taken two steps back before she could say anything else.
"Ah, ah, ah," he said. "No starbolts first. You have to pinky promise."
"How did you bypass the security system?"
"C'mon, cutie, you really think I'm gonna tell you?"
Red X swaggered to one of the training mats and sat down, legs stretched out in front of him. Starfire watched as he calmly took out the contents of his plastic bag, looking so nonchalant, so at home, that she couldn't help but feel a flare of annoyance. Did he not realize what he had done? Did he not realize how wrong this was, him being in her Tower, in her home, acting as though he belonged here? As though this was not out of the ordinary?
He does, she thought. He understands the magnitude of this — he simply does not care.
"Why are you here, X?" Starfire asked again, hands on her hips. "You may have saved my life, but this does not mean you are entitled to be here."
"Well," he started, ignoring her glare, "obviously I'm here as a part of my elaborate plot to woo you and take over the world. Is it working?"
"No."
"Everyone's a critic. At least tell me I got the mustard right."
"Mustard?"
In spite of herself, she dropped the remaining decimeter to the floor, gritting her teeth to hold in a hiss as a jolt of pain flashed from her injured leg. Red X had laid out two containers of burgers and fries, with a large bottle of her favorite brand of mustard. She had mentioned it in passing when they had been waiting to be rescued, when they had been exchanging stories to pass the time.
He remembered. Something stirred inside her chest, and Starfire found herself kneeling down gingerly across from him, tucking her legs behind her before she could think it through, eyeing him warily as she did.
"So how am I doing so far?" Red X said, and she could imagine him smirking under the mask. "Pretty good, yeah?"
"You would do better if you were to state your intentions."
"Like I said," he said, gesturing grandly to the food he had laid out. "Dinner."
"For what purpose?"
He looked at her for a moment before glancing away quickly. He sighed, sounding reluctant and put-upon when he said, "I wanted to see how you were doing. Happy now?"
It was hard to gauge his honesty with the mask in the way. Even as he pulled it up to his nose to chew on his fries, there wasn't much she could make out in the dim light.
"I am well," she said curtly.
"Not enough though, if you're benched and all."
"Benched?"
"Ah, you know," he said, errantly twirling a fry in the air. "You're not — out there. Fighting crime and whatnot."
She scowled, hating the reminder. "And I take it that you are the same? Since you are not out there, committing crimes and whatnot?"
"Ooh, someone's in a bad mood." He sounded more jovial — more teasing, less mocking — without the mask's modulator, and Starfire was struck to realize that she had gotten used to his natural voice. She wasn't sure what to feel about it, whether or not she preferred this over the mask's modified robotic tone.
She shook the thought away. "I am fine."
He snorted. "Sure. You know what will make your oh-so fine day better? Junk food."
She eyed the food in question thoughtfully. Red X must have mistaken her pause for disgust, because he went on, "I know it's not exactly fine dining, your royal highnessness, but it's not gonna jump at you or anything. What's the matter? You're not allowed to accept food from strange men?"
"I am not certain I can trust you," she said honestly.
"Ouch. Way to rip off the band-aid."
Though he didn't seem offended, she felt compelled to ask, "Do you fault me for my caution?"
"Wouldn't have expected anything less, cutie." He picked up a fry from her container and popped it in his mouth. "See? Totally safe. Even bought it with my own money and everything."
Truthfully, she hadn't even considered it until he mentioned it. "Did you?"
"Maybe." He smirked when he caught her glare. "Relax, I did. I even tipped. I'd show you the receipt, but I left it in my other pair of pants."
Starfire felt her resolve waver. She had been practicing all evening, since her friends left to answer a distress signal, and now that the room was filled with the smell of grease and fast food, it was hard to deny that she was feeling not a little bit hungry. . . .
She picked up her burger and took a bite, humming in satisfaction as the familiar flavor burst in her mouth. "Delicious."
It didn't take her long to finish the burger, and soon she was drizzling a generous amount of mustard on her fries.
"Someone's hungry," Red X commented, sounding amused. "So do you guys always train in the dark or is that just a Tamaranean thing?"
Starfire almost answered him, but so far he had been avoiding her attempts to get an answer out of him, and she felt it was only fair to return the favor. "Hmm," was all she said as she munched on her fries, this time at a more leisurely pace to savor the mustard.
Red X huffed, catching on. "Fine, ignore me."
A few beats passed, with only the sounds of their soft chewing and the crinkling of plastic to fill the silence, and then —
"What's the deal with you and Boy Blunder?"
Starfire nearly choked. "I believe I have made it clear that I do not wish to discuss it."
"Then what do you want to discuss, cutie?"
"Nothing, since you have not answered my questions thus far."
"Hey, I answered them."
"You are not answering honestly."
"I did — you just don't believe me. Whose fault is that?"
"Truly, I do not know," she deadpanned. "I wonder who it can be."
Red X swallowed a bit of burger he was chewing. "Okay, I walked into that one," he conceded. "I meant it though. I wanted to see if you were okay, considering — well. You know. Last night was . . . something."
She regarded him silently, wishing he didn't have his mask on. He was hard to read even without it, but to see his eyes and his face and his reactions would have been better than blindly guessing at what he was thinking under all his taunts and sarcasm.
"Why did you ask about Robin?" she said wearily.
"No reason. Always gets a reaction out of you, so. . . ." He shrugged. "Him, too, for that matter. You guys make it too easy."
"Am I so transparent?"
"You wear your heart on your sleeve," he said, and it sounded almost apologetic.
It wasn't the first time she heard the phrase, and she rolled her eyes. "Is this your way of telling me that I am foolish to do so? That it is too dangerous to be so open?"
"Dangerous, yeah, but brave too. I can see why he needs you."
Something about the way he said it, at how matter-of-fact his tone was, made her stomach knot. "Robin does not need me."
He scoffed, but thankfully didn't push the matter. "Speaking of Chuckles, what did you tell him?"
Starfire hesitated. Red X didn't need to specify what he meant, and they continued to eat as she considered what to say. She felt his gaze boring into her as she poured more mustard over her fries until they were almost drenched, in a way that she knew Robin disliked. If Robin were here, he would have joked that she had turned the sauce into soup. . . .
No. Stop it, she chided herself. How utterly foolish of her, to be reminded of Robin even over the most inconsequential of things, to still see him everywhere she looked and to let memories of him derail her. Do not think about it, do not think about it, do not think about it —
"I told my friends the truth," she said carefully. "That I was trying to capture you. That we were attacked, and you saved my life in the process."
"And?"
"And I told them about the other factories, and your involvement in the . . . accidents."
He hummed noncommittally as he popped a fry into his mouth. "Never said I was."
"You did not need to," she said in between bites. "I do not know why you did it, why you now seek to destroy xenothium rather than use it for yourself, but whatever your reasons are, it is . . . good. What you are doing, it is helping people, and I — I confess that I do not understand you."
"Guessing your friends don't either."
"No," she admitted. "They think you have an ulterior motive of some sort."
"What do you think?"
"You will think me naïve, or too . . . optimistic."
"Give it a go, anyway."
"I think —" She paused, trying to find the words. It was harder than she thought, and she wondered if this was her body's way of making up for the adrenaline and energy she had spent on her exercises. "I think that you are seeking something new. That you wish to do something . . . different. I do not know what it is you intend but I think . . . it has nothing to do with being a thief."
The corner of his mouth twisted. "You think I'm turning over a new leaf? You think I've seen the error of my ways?"
"I think you always have," she said softly. "I believe you have always been aware of your errors, otherwise you would not have helped Robin before. And you would not have saved my life."
She chanced a glance at him, waiting for him to deny it, to say something mocking or derisive, anything at all, but he just stared at her — or, at least, she supposed he was. It was hard to tell when all she could see were the skull's eyes of his mask and the shadowy outline of his jaw. For all she knew, he could be rolling his eyes at her, jeering at her internally for her words.
An embarrassed laugh escaped her lips. "Or perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps you do intend to continue to be a thief, but with different means and methods. I will not pretend to understand your motives."
"Hmm," he said. "Did you tell them anything else?"
"There is nothing else to tell." She blinked, feeling a dizziness seeping through her consciousness. Perhaps it had been a bad idea after all, to practice while she was still recovering from her injuries.
Still, she felt well enough to hear his unspoken question. Starfire did not doubt that it must have been on his mind since they saw each other last, and she didn't blame him. If their positions were reversed, if she were the masked thief who had revealed her face, she too would wonder what her opponents knew of her identity.
"What is it that you really wish to ask me?" she said through the sudden fog in her mind.
He smirked. "You first, princess."
"Only if you will answer truthfully."
"Does it matter?"
"Is that your question?" she retorted.
He didn't answer, and Starfire was starting to suspect that this was simply how it was when it came to someone like Red X — that he would not be the first to offer anything of substance, that he would not give any information unless he was certain that what he got in exchange was of equal or greater value. If she wanted her answers, if she wanted her questions to be satisfied, she would need to show her hand first, and hope that whatever she revealed and whatever she gave him would be returned in kind.
She sighed. "Why did you stay with me that night, X? You could have left before my friends arrived, but you chose not to. Why?"
Red X made no move to respond right away, and in the ensuing silence, Starfire fought to keep her gaze steady. The throbbing in her head was harder to ignore now, but she tried to keep it at bay. She just had to focus a little while longer, to wait for Red X to leave, and then she could head to her room and rest like she should have done earlier, like her friends had expected her to do when they left.
"Because it was dark," he said at last, his tone devoid of its usual blitheness. "Because we were buried underground. Because we were trapped. When you're in a place like that, you can't help but wonder if there's anyone coming to save you."
"My friends would have."
Red X flipped his mask down and stood. Starfire moved to follow, swaying a little as she got to her feet, but either he didn't notice or he was choosing to ignore it.
"They would have," he said. "But no one deserves to be alone. Not like that."
"I understand." And she did, remembering her life before Earth, before the Titans, and the nightmares that haunted her even now, memories of shackles and blood and darkness. "I . . . I am most grateful."
"You shouldn't be."
Suddenly it was very difficult to think. Her eyes felt heavy, her vision blurring as she struggled to keep them open.
"What is —"
Her feet gave way under her. Starfire felt Red X's arms catching her and lifting her up, even as she tried to thrash against him.
"What —" she tried again. "How — how did you —"
"The mustard," he said, impassive. "I need to know what you told the Titans about that night, and tonight was my best chance to get the info from your files, what with everyone else gone."
I have told you everything I told them, she wanted to say, but it took too much effort to string her words together, to raise her head and glare at him, to give him the punch to the nose that he deserved.
"You were right, you know. About pretty much everything, except your Robin. He needs you — your whole team does."
His voice sounded too far away, too low and muffled to make out, but his words followed her as the world fell into blackness.
"And me? Sorry to break it to you, cutie, but I'm never gonna be more than a thief from Gotham."