A/N: It has been a second. I apologize *grimace* I'm actually pretty nervous about this chapter, I took a gamble with it. It's shorter compared to the last two but it got the job done and I'm pretty proud of it.

I am going to put a warning in here though... it does get rather rough at certain points and could possibly be a trigger. I don't want to give away the story too much, but this chapter does take place in a hospital so...

I hope you enjoy though :)

Sheldon grasped Amy's hand tightly in his own. His fingers ran gently over her knuckles in a soothing motion, whether it was for his own sake or hers he did not know. He was studying her, drinking in every detail he possibly could. Every tress of hair that was out of place, the freckles on her face that were typically hidden under makeup, the glint behind her eyes when she realized he was studying her.

The weight of her wedding bands weighed down on his pinky finger. Since she couldn't take them in with her, he offered to hold on to them. They felt unnatural on him like they didn't belong there, which they didn't. He'd have to give them to Penny when he joined their friends out in the waiting room.

"It's gonna be okay," he heard Amy sigh. She squeezed his hand in affirmation.

There was still a twinge of doubt in the back of his head that was nagging at him. He was doing everything he could to push it down and drown it out, but the thought still rung in his ears. He kept repeating the same thing over and over again in his head; she will survive this, she will survive this, she will survive this.

Sheldon nodded. "I know," he replied softly, letting out a shaky breath as he did so.

"Hey," Amy said, gently pulling her hand out of his grasp to cup his cheek. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

Her request was so gentle, so caring. Too much for someone who was about to go into surgery. He needed to be her strength again, the one to build her up instead of bringing her down. However, something about the way Amy was looking at him told Sheldon that she wanted nothing short of honesty.

"I know we talked about it and I know there is really nothing for me to worry about but there is still a part of my mind that is worried about the 'what ifs.'" He paused for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. "I am trying to be strong for you, I really am, but this is really hard for me," he admitted, looking down at his own lap. Almost as if he was ashamed.

Her thumb swept over his zygomatic arch, begging him to look back up at her. He complied. "I know you are, sweetheart, but we're equals. You don't need to be strong for me, just the fact that you're here is enough."

"Well, you do know how I hate hospitals," he chuckled, and she flashed him a smile that lit up the already stark white walls.

It went quiet again. Sheldon took her hand again, holding onto it like it was a lifeline. He wanted every single moment to be ingrained in his memory. He wanted to savor the silent, comfortable moments they shared just basking in each other's company, just in case.

He was unable to dwell on the thought for too long as the curtain that separated them from the rest of the pre-op beds was pulled open. Amy's nurse, Tori, appeared, dressed in a blue surgical gown, shooting them a genuine smile before she approached the bed.

"We're ready for you," Tori said softly, almost apologetically as she observed the couple still tightly holding each other's hand.

Sheldon thought the day was already draining, but he was wrong. An emotion ran over him, not unlike the one he felt when Leonard has his surgery. However, this one was stronger, more intense. He felt his stomach drop, and his heart leaped into his throat. His lip quivered, and he implored the sudden tears in his eyes to stay where they were.

She will survive this. She will survive this. She will survive this.

He ran his free hand down his face before he stood from the chair beside her bed. He knew this moment was coming, where he'd have to part ways with her, but it was not as he imagined it. It was so much harder.

Amy shifted her attention to Tori. "Can we have a minute? She requested. The young nurse nodded immediately, stepping away from the gurney's edge but did not close the curtain. "Sheldon." Amy motioned from him to come to her level.

Bending down, he rested his forehead atop hers. And although they knew Tori was watching them, it was so strangely private and intimate. Cupping her face in his hands, he closed off the rest of the hospital, and it was just them.

"I'll see you later, okay?" She promised, holding her own hands over his.

He nodded against her. "Okay," he replied, almost inaudible. He tilted his head towards her, laying the most tender of kisses upon her lips.

He pulled away from her, taking in every last detail he could before they parted. He ran his hand over her forehead, sweeping back her hair as he did so. She smiled at his out of character gesture as he bent over once again, and lovingly kissed her forehead.

Tori approached the bed once again, this time, she used to her foot to release the brake. "You ready?" She asked softly, glancing back and forth between the two of them.

Amy said nothing as she nodded. Reaching down, she took Sheldon's hand in his one more time. "I love you," she declared, giving his hand a light squeeze as she did so.

Sheldon couldn't speak, only managing to nod in response to her as the nurse pulled her away from him. Deep down, he knew that Tori was only doing her job, but the strong disconnect he felt the moment Amy's hand let go of his was unparalleled. He couldn't help but feel a little indigent toward the young nurse.

Sheldon watched the stretcher, even as it passed through the double doors at the end of the very long hallway. Just before the pair of women disappeared out of sight, Tori turned back to look at him. She gave him a little nod and a smile, a reassurance that it would be okay.

There he stood; in an empty, sterile room, watching the double doors close behind Tori and Amy.

"It's going to be fine," he whispered to himself.

On autopilot, he walked himself back out to the waiting room. Penny looked up as soon as he entered, her eyes questioning.

With a little nod of his head, Sheldon answered her unspoken question. "They took her back."

Sheldon sank down into the hard, uncomfortable chair that he would have to endure for at least the next three hours. However, under the weight of what his mind was going through, he hardly had any time to notice how his back protested almost immediately.

He watched his friends look at each other, using each other for their own strength. Bernadette leaning on Howard's shoulder. Penny holding her son close to her chest while Leonard flung his arm around her, massaging her back. Even Raj, the last single of the group, looked around and shot a sympathetic smile to everyone.

But who did he have? His strength, his rock, wasn't there. Amy couldn't catch him if it all became too much and he lost it.

Without realizing it, Sheldon began to thump his leg anxiously. He was twisting Amy's wedding rings around on his pinky, they felt much heavier than before.

How Penny got so close to him without him noticing was a mystery to him. But before he knew it, his blonde best friend was sitting right beside him. She didn't touch him; she didn't even reach out to do so. She just crossed her legs and waited for him to speak first.

He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I can't do this, Penny," he whispered, anxiety beginning to close in on him. The unforgiving hospital lighting was too much for his already overloaded brain to handle, so he tightly closed his eyes.

"Sheldon." Her hand rested on his back now. "We're all here for you. You're going to be okay."

He looked around the waiting room. All eyes were on him now. And each head was nodding in agreement.

He gulped. Logic told him that it would all be okay and that he would be holding Amy's hand again in a few hours. But the 14-year-old boy inside of him kept reminding him of his father; how the last time he saw his dad was exactly like the way he saw Amy just a few minutes prior. He couldn't shake that image out of his head, no matter how many times he told himself it would be alright.

"Sheldon," Penny's voice pulled him back from his reverie. "If you need anything, just say so, none of us are going to leave you." Her voice was comforting, but something about it irked him. He did need something. He needed Amy, but that wasn't really feasible at the moment.

Knowing Penny only meant well, he merely nodded his head. She was worried about his wife, too; she didn't need or deserve his attitude. Penny tapped him on his back once again before she rose out of the creaking chair to rejoin her husband and son.

Sheldon observed them for a few moments. Isaac giggled when Penny started playing "peekaboo," his small, chubby hands reaching out to his mother. Leonard bounced Isaac on his leg, which only added to the little boy's excitement. Sheldon smiled fondly at the scene. He couldn't wait to have that with Amy.

He felt himself relax a little. They had chosen a trustworthy doctor for this, in a well-respected hospital. It would be okay.

Distraction. It's what he needed to get through the next few grueling hours. He got out his phone and began scrolling through the many texts his mother had sent him that morning.

Text me when you get to the hospital.

-Love, mom

Text me when she goes back.

-Love, mom

Text me when she's out.

-Love, mom

Only one more to go, he thought. One more text, and they could finally start to wrap up this long and painful chapter of their lives. Oh, how he couldn't wait to send it.

Deciding to pass the time by watching TV, he pulled up Netflix on his phone. It took a few years of relentless badgering, but he had finally managed to wear Amy down when it came to watching The Flash. Turns out, it was actually something he could get easily invested in, and it was a show that could take his mind out of the real world. So, as episode after episode played, the uncomfortable chair began to give way. The loud hospital beeping that would occasionally ring, drowned out. The blaring florescent lighting dimmed ever so slightly.

He felt less anxious as time carried on. The weight of Amy's rings didn't feel nearly as heavy anymore.

Engrossed with what was happening on his screen, he could barely hear someone calling out his name.

"Dr. Cooper," Tori said softly, this time tapping his shoulder.

Sheldon startled and nearly dropped his phone. He managed to catch it midair, but he held a hand up to his chest nonetheless. "I apologize, I didn't hear you at first," he told the young nurse. "Is Amy out of surgery?"

For the first time since she approached him, Sheldon studied the young woman before him. She sighed heavily and sat down in the chair next to him. Sheldon looked around the room briefly to see that all of his friends had fallen asleep in their chairs. He gulped and turned his attention back to Tori. The expression on her face sent his heart plummeting to his feet. And he was shaking his head before she even said anything.

"Dr. Cooper," she whispered again. "The doctors did everything they could."

No.

He told her not to do this. He should have trusted his gut and fought against this harder. Why didn't he fight for her?

No.

There was no way this was happening. Tori didn't tell him explicitly that Amy was… gone. Perhaps she had just fallen into a coma. Or they had to perform a complete hysterectomy. Amy wasn't dead, she couldn't be.

Sheldon's eyes pleaded with Tori. Begged her to tell him that it wasn't true while he gripped onto any ounce of hope he had left inside of him. The very same hope that Amy had instilled within him.

"Sheldon," Tori sighed. "The doctors did everything they could, but unfortunately, we could not save your wife. I'm sorry."

And like a flame caught in the wind, the last sliver of anything he could hold onto was extinguished. He felt like the floor had dropped open beneath him, and he was plummeting down to an icy hell.

The room felt colder around him. Or maybe the lights just felt dimmer than they did before.

He heard voices around him. Leonard and Penny's voices. Tori was reciting what she had just told him.

Sheldon didn't hear any of it. His ears were ringing. She was gone. She was gone. He didn't fight hard enough for her. This was on him.

The rings were like 100-pound weights attached to his hand. They were too heavy. He needed them off. He clenched and unclenched his fist as his whole body shook.

"Sheldon."

Penny. She was next to him now, the hand on his back made him double over as if he was in pain. Instead, a dry sob came out that was more painful than if he just started crying.

"Sheldon."

His name came louder this time. But he was too busy replaying his last conversation with her. He hadn't said 'I love you.'

Why hadn't he said I love you?

"Sheldon!"

He startled as he awoke and dropped his phone. As his eyes adjusted to the room's harsh lighting, Leonard and Penny's concerned faces came into view.

"Are you okay, buddy?" Leonard asked as he handed Sheldon his phone back. "You were whimpering in your sleep?"

It was a dream? What kind of cruel joke was his subconscious trying to play on him?

He couldn't possibly tell his friends what had happened, though. They would only pity him, that wasn't what he needed. He needed to know where Amy was, and quickly before his brain decided to trick him again.

Tori stood close by watching him worriedly. "Are you alright, Dr. Cooper?" she asked him, parroting Leonard's earlier question that he had yet to answer.

Sheldon nodded quickly, not telling them what his nightmare had entailed. It was bad enough he kept replaying it over and over again in his head, he didn't need to recount it to his friends.

"I'm fine. I just need to know where Amy is."

What Tori did next was something she did not do in his dream. She smiled. "She's on her way up to recovery right now," she answered, pausing for a moment before continuing. "The surgery was a success. There was a lot more scar tissue than we initially thought, but the doctor managed to get most of it out."

He could see Penny breathe a sigh of relief out of the corner of his eye and the rest of his friends reacting in a similar manner. Sheldon's eye just twitched. "But she's okay?" He asked, hesitantly, still afraid that the scenario his subconscious threw at him was real.

Tori nodded. "She's gonna be just fine. We're going to keep her overnight for observation, but she should be able to go home tomorrow."

It was all eyes on him as his friends waited for a reaction from him. But all he could do what shake his head and mutter a weak 'thank you' to the nurse who excused herself to attend to her duties.

He could breathe the hospital air no longer. He needed to get out of the waiting room. He needed out of this place where he was told his wife was dead. Sheldon didn't even acknowledge his friends calling after him as he left down the corridor.

He didn't find himself at the entrance of the hospital like he had initially intended. Instead, he found the green space, or the garden or whatever fancy word for plants one wanted to call it. Ignoring the chapel doors just to his left as he stepped outside, he took in the still-hot but fresh California air. The sun was starting to set, and it was beginning to cool down ever so slightly. It was a stark contrast to the heavily filtered air of the hospital.

Sheldon found a bench in the corner farthest from the door. Tears ran down his face before he even sat down.

Amy was okay, and the dream wasn't real. He knew this. But in those endless moments where his subconscious told him that the worst was his reality, he felt he had quite literally lost a part of himself. Real or not real. In retrospect, he guessed he had lost something while he was asleep. But gained it back when Leonard and Penny shook him awake. It was the rebound he was having the hardest time with. Having to come to terms with the fact that he experienced what it would be like to receive such catastrophic news like that. Having to live with the fact that he has now experienced that kind of pain, something he hasn't felt since Professor Proton died. Only this wasn't the same, this was amplified grief. Hopefully, his memory of this day will fade over time, but that knowledge in and of itself won't help him or Amy.

Oh, how he wanted to talk to her about this. She would tell him all about dreams and how the brain perceives them. She would use all her neurobiology mumbo jumbo to help him feel better about the whole situation. But she just got out of surgery, he couldn't do that to her. Amy needed to worry about herself and healing before he would even begin to consider telling her about this.

He should have heard the approaching footsteps, but he was too caught up in the jungle of thoughts racing through his brain.

"Sheldon?"

Furiously wiping away the dampness on his cheeks, and was unsurprised to find that Penny had tracked him down. Apparently, having a baby of her own only heightened her motherlike tendencies towards him.

"Why are you upset?" Penny asked as she sat down next to him. "Amy is going to be alright, I thought that would make you happy."

Sheldon avoided eye contact with her, staring intensely at the ground. "I am happy," he retorted. "I just- I guess the stress caught up to me."

Penny huffed at that like she could see through his lie. "Oh, come on. I've known you 13 years, Sheldon, don't you think I know you a little better than that by now?"

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it, Penny."

She didn't say anything else, but she didn't leave him either. They just sat in relative silence as the chirping of the birds faded with the sunset. Sheldon fiddled with the rings on his pinky, twisting and tugging them every which way. Anxious to give them back to their rightful owner.

"Penny?" Sheldon said, breaking their quiet.

"Yeah?"

"I had a dream that Amy died," he admitted. Penny inhaled sharply. "In the waiting room, when I was asleep. That's why I woke up in such a panic." Sheldon explained, trying to suppress the anger and sadness that was bubbling up within him again.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry." Penny softly whispered. He could see her hand reaching out to pat his back but retracted her hand at the last second. "She's not dead, though, so-"

"That's not the point, Penny!" He snapped, cutting her off midsentence. "The point is, I know what it feels like now. To lose her like that."

"But she didn't die, you have to hold onto that, Sheldon." Penny sounded like she was pleading with him almost. "Yes, having to suffer through that, even in a dream, sucks. But your dream is not what happened. So, let's just push it to the back burner for now, and we'll deal with it when we're not all so exhausted."

Penny smirked and added one last thing. "Maybe Amy can use all her fancy brain knowledge to help you feel better about this."

Sheldon chuckled at that. Maybe talking to Amy about all of this wouldn't be such a bad idea. Later, of course, when she wasn't so groggy from all the anesthetic.

Both of their phones pinged at the same time.

Leonard

She is in recovery now—room 409.

"Come on," Penny said. "Let's go see that wife of yours."

She didn't wait for a response from him, just got up, and walked determined over to the hospital's door. He followed her lead. Weaving through all the twists and turns, finding the correct elevator, before finally standing in front of the door for room 409.

As much as he loved Penny, the selfish side of him wanted to be alone with Amy for a while. "Penny, do you mind if I-"

The woman in question held up her hands, already knowing what he was going to ask. "Of course, we'll all be in the waiting room if you need us."

The room was dark as he entered, and Amy was still asleep. Sheldon tried to be as stealthy as possible, walking through the tiny room. The large reclining chair next to her bed was much more comfortable than those god awful ones they had downstairs.

He was too afraid to touch her, worried that he might hurt her somehow. Deciding that her hand would be his best bet, he took it as gingerly as possible. Her fingers were cold, and they didn't grip him back like they usually did. Something about that caused a pang to go through him.

So, Sheldon sat there, just holding Amy's hand and observing her as her body slowly began to wake up. The rise and fall of her chest with every breath she took brought him great comfort. Until it hitched, and her eyebrows scrunched together. She groaned and tilted her head to the side. He could see how her eyes fluttered under their lids.

It seemed like an eternity to him before she finally opened her eyes. She looked so tired.

"Hi," she rasped, her voice sounding in desperate need of some water.

And just like that, her hand finally, weakly, squeezed his in return.

"Hello," Sheldon whispered. "How are you feeling?"

Amy chuckled. "Like crap. Feels like my stomach was put in the blender."

Sheldon grimaced at that rather specific description. He found himself unconsciously holding a hand to his own abdomen. "I'm sorry, Amy, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better."

She smiled softly at him. "You were here when I woke up, that certainly helped."

Sheldon leaned his elbows on the bed, his hands still clutching hers. He swallowed thickly as Amy's eyes studied him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

That should have been easy to answer, but it wasn't. He was still trying to deal with the aftershocks of the incident in the waiting room, but he was beyond happy to see and feel that she was okay. And thus, he was faced with a decision, which one weighed out the other?

"I'm doing just fine," he replied with a reassuring smile.

Penny was right. Whatever crap his subconscious threw at him didn't matter if reality proved it wrong. Amy was okay. What happened to his father did not happen to his wife. When Amy was feeling better, he would talk about it with her, but he was just happy to be holding her hand again for now.

Amy looked happy at his response but was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. She kept opening and closing them, fighting to stay awake.

"Sleep…I'll be here when you wake up again." He nodded, his thumb running across her knuckles. "I love you." Sheldon whispered as Amy fell asleep muttering the words back to him.

As terrified as he was to try and rest again, his body was begging for it. But there was still one last thing he needed to do.

To Mom

Surgery was a success. Amy is in recovery now.

-Love Sheldon

Mary Cooper texted back remarkably fast for a woman who was not so keen on using technology.

Glad to hear it. Looking forward to meeting some babies of yours, Shelly

-Love Mom

Sheldon looked over at his sleeping wife. He couldn't wait for it either.

A/N: Thank you for reading, loves, your support means the world to me!