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The Next Step (1/1)

Steve and Catherine sat quietly on the deck, side by side in Adirondack chairs, enjoying the cool evening air of a Hawaiian late spring. The sound of Angie's soft murmuring in her sleep came occasionally from the baby monitor on the table in front of them. It had been a busy week and they were both happy for the chance to unwind.

As the light began to fade, his conversation with Ameera from the previous week played over and over in his head. Prior to that moment the idea of having another baby was something he'd only thought of in passing, but since then it was something he thought about daily.

What he told Jacob's young classmate that day was true. He and Catherine hadn't decided one way or the other about the having another child. Over the last week his own thoughts had begun to crystallize but he realized he had very little idea how Catherine felt about it.

"So…" He threaded their fingers together and ran his thumb softly across her palm. "We haven't talked about it yet."

Catherine watched the waves crash softly against the shore. "Talked about what yet?"

When he didn't answer immediately, she turned to face him. She couldn't help but notice the slight hesitation in his eyes as if he was reticent to discuss whatever was on his mind. She smiled softly, prepared to give him all the time he needed. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft.

"What Ameera brought up last week."

"Ahhh." She leaned over and kissed his cheek softly. "That." They hadn't said another word about it since they left the gym that day, but she found that the idea had dominated her thoughts ever since.

Steve ran his free hand through his hair. "Is it something you want to discuss right now? Or … you know … ever?"

"It is."

Catherine could see the tension release from his body as soon as she said the words.

"Good." He smiled. "Me too."

"To be completely honest," she admitted, "it's something that's been on my mind for a while now. Since Aunt Deb visited at Easter."

Steve's eyebrows shot up. "Did she say something about us having another baby?" She hadn't mentioned anything to him, but he thought maybe it had come up in conversation with Catherine.

"No, nothing like that." Catherine pushed a stray hair that had fallen out of her ponytail back from her face. "It's just that she was telling all those stories about you and Mary when you were kids and it … kinda got me thinking."

Steve turned in his chair to face her. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know. I guess because I wasn't sure exactly what I felt. My mind was all over the place. I wanted to have my thoughts together before I brought it up with you."

"You can always talk to me," he said sincerely. "Scattered thoughts and all."

"I know." She grinned. "I was getting there."

"Then Ameera beat you to it." He smirked.

Catherine chuckled. "That girl has a future as a life coach."

Steve smiled at the idea then his face turned serious. "Are you ready to talk about it now or do you need more time? Because if you need more time ..."

"I'm ready," she replied confidently. "Are you ready?"

He thought for a second before he answered. "I think so."

"How about if I start?" Steve was so much better at talking about his feelings and emotions now but Catherine knew that sometimes he still had a little trouble getting the conversation going.

He turned his chair and scooted it forward so their knees were touching. "That would be good."

"Ok." Catherine took a breath. "I grew up an only child and I loved my childhood. I have no complaints. But I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like to have a sibling. I look at you and Mary, the Allen kids, even Grace and Charles and I think it would be nice for Angie to have that kind of cradle to grave relationship with someone."

Steve nodded. "I agree." Even though his relationship with Mary had gone through some hard times he treasured what they had now and couldn't help thinking it would be nice for Angie to have a similar bond with someone. Of course, she would always have her cousins and friends but there was something special about having a sibling.

He felt a warmth begin to spread through his body. He should have trusted that he and Catherine were on the same wavelength. They usually were. Yet hearing her say the words out loud, and knowing she was open to the idea of expanding their family, felt like such a relief to him. Being a husband and father was the most fulfilling thing he'd ever done in his life. Ever since Ameera had asked when they were having more kids the idea of expanding their family had become very real to him. And something he wanted more than he had realized.

Catherine met his eyes and it was her turn to look unsure. "Do you remember back when we originally talked about starting a family?"

"Every word." he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

She bit her bottom lip. "We talked about all the possibilities. Having our own biological children, fostering, adopting."

Steve nodded. "I remember."

She bit her lip harder and he reached up and ran his thumb along her cheek.

"I just wondered if ... " She kissed his thumb. "Those other options are still on the table for you."

"Absolutely." There wasn't a trace of insincerity in his tone. "Like I told you at the time I'm open to whatever we decide is best for us. Though now it's what's best for the three of us. Not just the two of us."

Catherine's eyes sparkled with relief. "Absolutely."

"Are you saying you don't want to get pregnant again?" he asked with absolutely no judgement.

"I loved being pregnant," Catherine said. "Every minute of it. Even eating every watermelon on the island."

He quirked one eyebrow. "And the Pop-Tarts?"

"Even the Pop-Tarts." She chuckled. "But I'm almost three years older now than I was when I got pregnant with Angie. The older a woman gets the trickier pregnancy can get. I'm fit and healthy but still the chances of something going wrong are much higher for a woman my age."

"I've been doing some reading over the last week." Steve's eyes darkened slightly. "You were considered a high-risk pregnancy last time because you were over 35 but over 40 the list of things that can go wrong … I don't even want to think about. I know lots of women that age have healthy babies but I'm not sure I'm ready to take the chance."

"I know that together we could face whatever happens," she said.

"Always."

"It's just …" Her voice trailed off.

"Just what?"

Catherine took a deep breath. "I also know how many children there are on the island who need a loving, permanent family."

Steve's entire face lit up. "So you're talking about adopting?"

"I watch you with Grace, and with the Allens, and I know you have the capacity to love a child that isn't biologically yours. And I know I do too." Catherine's words tumbled out.

"Absolutely." Steve couldn't stop grinning. "I was thinking the exact same thing. And I mean look at Joanie. And Aaron."

Catherine's excitement began to build. "The statistics on kids finding an adoptive family past the age of 2 or 3 are grim. The thought that we could make a real difference for one of those kids."

"So you're thinking an older kid?" Steve's grin matched hers. "Because I kinda was too."

"Yes. Not a teenager. Maybe a couple of years older than Angie." She smiled. "But the bottom line is it would have to be a situation that works for all three of us. Angie would have to have a say."

Steve nodded adamantly. "No question."

"Nothing has to be written in stone right now," Catherine continued. "But the process can take 6-9 months and I was just thinking maybe we could get started. Once we're approved we can take our time making a decision."

"I'm right there with you." Steve froze. "Is there a book called What to Expect When You're Adopting?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." Catherine laughed. "While we're looking for that I can make a few calls and see what we need to do to get the ball rolling."

"I love this idea." Steve was every bit as excited at the prospect as Catherine.

"You're sure." She just had to check one more time. "Because we definitely hit the jackpot with Angie and if you have your heart set on another biological child we can …"

Steve squeezed both of her hands. "I of all people know that family is more than just blood. I love your heart and I love that you want to give a home to a child that might otherwise grow up in the system. I want that too."

She leaned in and kissed him and he immediately deepened the kiss. When they came up for air she said, "I'll make some calls and get the application process started. We'll need background checks, financial checks, they'll need to do a home study …"

"I'm excited." He didn't really need to say the words. It was written all over his face.

"Me too." It was all she could do to keep from squealing.

Steve smiled that crooked smile she loved so much. "But if you think we're excited, wait until your folks find out."

THE END

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