3x01 - 3x02

She couldn't believe that he was in Malta. She couldn't believe that he was trying to work with her. After Dallas, after the tracker, she couldn't trust him. But…she did. It still felt like he had earned it, even after everything else. And he had jumped through a window to save her even after she locked him in his trunk.

Teresa's head fell back on to the sofa and tried to push thoughts of James away. Her eyes fell on the door to Pote's room. He was sleeping. His hand…She closed her eyes against the tears she felt coming. They had broken his hand. He might not be able to shoot again. Or write properly, or hold a fork steady. They had taken so much more than his gun hand. And they did that to get to her. To hurt her. And he hadn't given her up.

She almost wished he did.

Something moved out on the balcony. Teresa turned her head and saw James. It bothered her that she knew it was him. It was dark, he was in the shadows, but she still knew his body. She had seen enough of it- touched it enough times. Her mind went back to the warehouse- what he said about keeping her alive. She couldn't say it was a lie. That bothered her.

James made things harder. There was so much personal tangled in the professional. She didn't know how to separate it. She needed to separate it. Except it never had been separate. From the first day- the day she tried so hard not to think of- it was messy. The drive to the airport, him trying to make her blow the job, even that night- the night he turned her down for the first time. Personal and professional and messy.

She stood from the sofa, ready to go to bed. But her feet took her to the balcony instead. Her hand opened the door and she stepped out into the cool night air. James startled. It made Teresa go still. James wasn't jumpy, he was always aware of his surroundings. So his reaction said a lot- mostly that something wasn't right.

"Are you okay?" Her voice came out softer than she liked. She had agreed to let him work for her, but she hadn't forgiven him yet. But James barely seemed to notice her anyway. His eyes stared out into the night, but Teresa knew he wasn't seeing anything- not in Malta, anyway. She stepped closer to him and let her hand rest on his arm. "James."

He shrugged her off gently. "I'm fine. You should get some sleep. It's been a long day." He never even looked in her direction. Even at their worst he had looked at her. She had been able to see what was going on with him. But now it was too dark and he was too far away. It took a moment for his words to sink in. But she smiled a little when they did.

"You always do that, you know." His brows furrowed in confusion, but he still didn't look at her. "Try to send me to bed. From the first night you always told me to go to sleep." His head tilted to the side slightly and Teresa knew he was remembering. Late night coffees, midnight drives, anytime things started getting to be too much he would send her away.

"You never did. You always left on your own terms." She couldn't tell if he thought that was a good thing or not. His hand came up to rub his eyes- the way he did when he was stressed. She still knew that, too- his tics. "It drove me crazy." She smiled at that. But then he turned to face her and the smile faded. Because the light from inside hit him just so and she remembered the other times she spent with him. The times he had done something about the want in his eyes.

But then he turned back toward the night.

She didn't look back as she went inside.

3x03

Everyone was asleep. The flight out of Malta had been quick, but now they were somewhere over the Atlantic. George had hired a private plane to bring them all back to America. She wasn't sure how she felt about it yet- going back. It was a risk. It might ruin her business or get her killed. But she needed to regroup and they couldn't do that in Europe or anywhere else.

She thought of the girls she had gotten away from De la Pena. Ten girls for a lost connection and a new enemy. She had thought it was worth it while they were on the plane. She could see the gratitude and peace on their faces. But now reality had started to set in. And with each new obstacle that came to mind she had to work harder to feel like she made the right choice.

Maybe James and Pote had been right. Maybe it was bad business- fighting a battle she would never win. But she had seen herself in their scared faces. She had seen Camila's warehouse and Aveline's dead eyes. She had seen Brenda…And she couldn't leave them there.

"I get why you did it." Teresa turned to look at James. He was across the aisle from her. She could see his thumb running along his fingers. For some reason the motion calmed him. She wondered why he needed calming. "I see you and the other girls sometimes. Camila's girls." She sat up straighter- glancing at Pote to be sure he wasn't listening. "They came to Camila. All had a reason. But you… I knew you'd get out one day."

"Did you ever try to help the other girls?" James held her gaze for a long moment. He didn't say anything but she got her answer. "How many?" He looked away. She should have known not to ask. James would never tell her about the good he'd done. He only told her the things that should make her not trust him. 'There is no good or bad in this business.' Isn't that what he told her? She still didn't believe him.

"I still think you're a good person, James."

3x04

She stood outside of James' door. It was after midnight, probably after one in the morning. She should be in her bed, asleep. But she wasn't. She was standing in the hall, still in her clothes from earlier. She wanted to knock. She wanted to go in and talk to him. Really, talk. They hadn't done that. They had argued in the Malta warehouse. They had discussed business. But anything personal, they had both avoided.

And since Teresa knew that James would follow her lead she had to be the one to go to him first. Which is why she hadn't yet. Because she wasn't sure what she wanted. She just knew that she missed what they had before Guero- before Chicago. Before trackers and gunfights in train yards.

Raising her hand, Teresa knocked on the door. As soon as her hand returned to her side the doubts came. Because this could hurt the trust they were rebuilding. This could hurt her business. If she let James in again the way she had before, and it fell apart… She didn't know how they could come back from it.

The door opening snapped Teresa out of her thoughts. James stood in sweats and a t-shirt, his hair messy. It was a look she wasn't used to. She had only seen James in regular clothes or a suit. But she liked this look. It made him seem softer.

She watched his hand go to a table by the door and grab his gun. "What's wrong?" She shook her head. Because nothing was wrong- not really. He glanced over her shoulder before putting the gun back and stepping aside so she could come in. She did. His room was like she imagined it would be. Neatly made bed, organized desk, clothes all put away nicely. Her eyes went back to the bed. He hadn't been sleeping. "Teresa?"

"Things changed after Chicago, didn't they?" She turned around to see his reaction. There wasn't one. And that told her everything she needed to know. "Was it Guero or that I was going to run?" His eyes narrowed slightly but he didn't say anything. "Or was it both?" She took in the way his hands hung loose at his sides and the way his face was blank of emotion.

"Teresa, why are you here?"

His voice was even, like they were just talking about work. It was…disconcerting. "You changed after Chicago. I want to know what changed." He let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand down his face. Then he took a step closer to her. She knew this James. Caring, but trying not to. She had seen this James from day one.

"He left you to deal with Epifanio alone. He was a rat who told the feds about Camila's operation- an operation he knew you were part of." Teresa dropped her gaze before making herself look back. "Then he shows up and he's a liability. A snitch who only looks out for himself- no loyalty."

"Like you? You weren't loyal either, James. Or was that tracker in Tony's game a sign of your loyalty?"

He looked at her like she was a naïve child and she hated it. Because she wasn't. He had been the one to turn on her. Not the other way around. "How many times had you run when I gave you that toy?" She glared at him in silence. "And who signed my paycheck? It wasn't you. I was loyal to Camila- my boss. The woman I've known for years." She looked away again. "Just because I looked out for you- cared about you- didn't change the facts."

She tried to push his words away. But she couldn't. He was right. She had run twice before he got Tony that game. If she were honest, it was the best way to keep tabs on her. It was a smart business move. And if she was honest with herself, he was right about Camila. Teresa had just expected him to help her because she saw the good in him- because it was the right thing. But Camila was his boss.

"But we weren't just business, were we?"

James flinched. It was his turn to look away then. "No. We weren't," he sighed. "But you changed that, too." Guero changed that. Guero came and she had to keep Camila from killing him. Guero came and she had to deal with all of the feelings that came with him. And no matter what she might have felt with James, she couldn't just let Guero go. She had loved him. She still did. James shook his head. "Whatever we were, I didn't change us, Teresa."

Somehow they had gotten closer to each other. Her chest almost brushed his and she had to tilt her head up a little to meet his eyes. There was still so much they weren't saying. There was still so much she was afraid to look too closely at. And his eyes said he felt the same way. James' hands came to hold her shoulders and he pressed his forehead against hers. Her eyes fell closed and she waited. She didn't know what for, but she waited.

He stepped back. "Goodnight Teresa."

Her hands shook the entire walk back to her room.

3x05

She hadn't let herself miss this.

His voice, his steady presence, his mind for business- yes. But this…The feel of him between her thighs. His hands on her bare skin. The taste of him on her lips. She hadn't let herself miss those things. Because he had hurt her. He had betrayed her. He had let her feel so much with him and then turned it into a lie.

Only, maybe it hadn't been a lie. Maybe he hadn't betrayed her as much as she thought he had. And now she didn't have to miss him anymore- didn't want to miss him anymore. Not this way. Now she could trail kisses down his chest. Now she could enjoy his hands on her breasts. She could feel him moving inside of her, taking her breath with each thrust of his hips.

James' arm wrapped around her back and he flipped them over. Her hair fanned out across her pillows as he nipped at her collarbone and his fingers rolled her nipple. Her legs gripped him tighter and her hips rose to meet his- to match his pace. It was slow, achingly slow. And so sweet. Like he wanted to remember the moment. Like he was trying to tell her all the things words couldn't. It left her shaking-gasping for air.

Her hands slid into his curls and she pulled his mouth back to hers. She needed him like this. She needed to taste him. He went willingly- kissing her like their world could end at any moment. It could- it almost had. But the thought evaporated as his angle changed. He tore his lips from hers, his face twisted in pleasured pain. Her back arched off the bed as she tried to get closer, hold him tighter.

"James…" It was a sigh and a whimper and a prayer. A prayer that he answered. He moved faster, just a little bit. He pressed deeper, she wasn't even sure how. But it was what she needed. It was perfect. Her eyes slammed shut just to fly open again when his fingers gripped her hair, pulling her head back slightly so he could trail a line of kisses down the column of her throat.

"What, Teresa? Say it," he growled.

But there was nothing to say. His voice- low and rough and desperately wrecked- washed over her. It sent her under- into a whirlpool of bliss. She let out a hoarse scream, a broken cry of his name. It was too much. Oh God, it was too much. Electricity ran through her body, and pleasure flooded her veins. Her breath caught and caught again. And all she could do was hold James tighter. All she could do was try to hold onto some piece of her soul.

She felt him come as she was beginning to find herself again. Her eyes drank in the sight of him. Head thrown back, eyes closed. The syllables of her name from his shredded voice. She could feel the tension in his body, his muscles locked as he hovered just above her. Her eyes went wide and she jolted against him as she came again- too close to the last one. Her mind went blank and her vision whited out.

James' hands were tight at her hips and his head was buried against her shoulder when her vision finally cleared. She could feel his heart pounding against her chest. She knew he could feel hers too. Slowly she released her grip on his curls. Slowly her legs unwrapped from his waist and fell to the bed. Finally he pulled out- Teresa's body tightening around him, not ready to let go. Finally his hands eased their grip- caressing her hips gently. Finally their breathing slowed- steadied.

But her arms stayed around his neck and his head stayed on her shoulder.

She had missed this.

3x06

She kept…seeing him. The way he had been the day she met him. Smiling, laughing with Brenda and Chino. Their first real date together. He kept calling her beautiful, the whole night. She saw their first house. It was everything she had dreamed of when she was a little girl and he gave it to her. Teresa smiled. They had made love in every room. Guero had laughed the entire night.

Her smile faded. A tear slid down her cheek. She saw him. Lying on the dirt in Mexico, too long beard, shirt covered in dirt and blood. She had been holding him…in her arms. How did she not know? How could she have fallen asleep? He had needed her and she let him die in her arms.

She pressed her lips together, trying not to cry. But the tears came anyway. He had been locked in a cage. He had been tortured. And she had been in Malta enjoying the sun. She had been in Phoenix expanding her business. He was alone while she had Pote and Tonto and Charger. While she had James…

She opened her eyes- she hadn't realized she had closed them. She looked at James through the rearview mirror. He had been driving for a while. But he hadn't said anything to her. He hadn't said anything at all. What was there to say?

'We could use another guy at the winery.'

She pushed that away. It didn't matter now. Guero was in Mexico. How many people that she loved would she leave in the dirt there? How many people were going to die because of her? Her eyes went to Pote. His hand was barely healed. Those men would have killed him to get to her. And he would have let them.

James had been willing to go with Devon to keep her safe. He had been willing to sacrifice himself for her since Dallas. She looked at him again and their eyes met. For a moment she saw him the way he had been the night before- naked in her bed. Then she saw Guero the way he had been that night in Chicago- their last night together.

She turned to the window.

There was an emptiness inside of her. One she knew too well. It kept getting bigger and bigger the further they got from Mexico- from Guero. She could feel it pulling her in, pulling her down. She wondered if she would stop hurting when she reached the bottom. She wondered if it could swallow her pain without swallowing her.

She looked back at James, "He's really gone this time, isn't he?"

This time he was the one to look away.

3x07

She sat on the bed in the room Taza had given her for the night. It wasn't fancy and she didn't need it to be. She just needed it to be somewhere that Pecas wouldn't get to her. Her mind went over everything that had happened that day. Everything that had gone wrong. Pecas' assassin at the winery, James and Pote locking her in the cellar, KellyAnn being high at work. The day had been a mess.

She had been a mess. She could still see Guero in that tux. She still felt the warmth of his arms around her during their dance. And the stickiness of his blood on her hands as he bled out again. It had felt so real. He had felt so real. And she wanted that- to feel him, to be with him again.

But Guero was gone. And she had a business to run. She had La Comisión to deal with. She had Camila and Cortez after her. She couldn't stop. Pote…James…they didn't understand that. They didn't get that if she slowed down for one second all of the grief and pain would catch her- drag her down.

She needed to work. She needed to be thinking and planning and moving product. She needed to be one step ahead of Camila and Pecas. Because if she wasn't she wouldn't be anything. She would be the broken girl Guero had left in Culiacan. She would be the weak girl who had to learn to survive in this business. And she couldn't go back to that. No more warehouses, no more Camila Vargas'- there could only be Teresa Mendoza, now.

She heard footsteps in the hall and lifted her head to look out the door. James paused in the doorway, his arms braced on the door frame. "I'm heading back. You need anything before I go?" It was like nothing had happened. Like he hadn't decided what he thought was best for her and done it. She stayed silent. James dropped his arms and gave a quick nod. "Alright. See you tomorrow." Then he was gone.

Guero stood beside the bed.

She turned the other way- eyes staring at the white wall.

3x08

'I'm saying this because it's dangerous.'

'You don't have to hide from me.'

'He will die for you.'

Tonto was dead. Lil' T was barely alive. Pecas had rejected her deal. She had lost part of her shipment. Camila was still coming for her. And now she had made a deal with Mayo. But all of that had faded to the background. Her mind kept circling Pote's words- her conversation with James.

She could still feel the heat of the explosion. And she still saw James running towards the burning van. But this time she saw what could have happened. She didn't get to him in time. The van exploded. James was too close. Another person she cared about dying in front of her.

The house was quiet. Pote and Charger had gone to bed a while ago. But Lil' T had kept Teresa awake. Then trying to plan next steps. Because she couldn't trust Mayo. But now there was nothing else left to worry about- nothing that had a solution. But she wasn't ready for sleep. She wasn't ready for the faces she would see.

She left the living room and made her way upstairs. Pote's door was closed, but she could see that his room was dark. Lil' T's room was dark, too, but Teresa paused there anyway. She could see the Mexican flag that hung over her bed and a poster of a Mexican rapper was over her desk. It was such a teenager's room. She was eighteen, and she understood the business, but there was still an innocence in the girl.

One Teresa hadn't wanted her to lose so soon.

She pulled the door closed and turned towards the room she was going to. James' light was on. He always told her to sleep, but he rarely did. She wondered what he saw that kept him up at night. James' voice told her to come in as soon as she knocked. She opened the door and slipped inside. If he was surprised to see her he didn't show it.

"What's up?" He sat in a chair by the window. Teresa watched as he typed something out on his phone before putting it away to focus on her. "How's Lil' T?" She nodded. Lil' T was fine the last time Teresa had called to check. But that wasn't why she had come. They both knew that. Teresa watched a slight smile play at the corner of James' mouth. "You wanna go for a drive?"

She fought back a smile, but she knew she was failing. It had been a long time since she had just gone for a drive. Even longer since a drive made her feel better. "Sure." James stood up and grabbed his jacket and keys. Then Teresa followed him out of his room and down the stairs.

He tossed her the keys as they walked into the garage. "How long do we have?" She stopped and rolled her eyes dramatically. That had always been her question to him. Back when he had the keys to everything, not just the car. Back when a ride equaled freedom. Somehow it had only felt that way when James was with her. Maybe that's why she stopped when she got to Malta.

"Until we run out of gas." She slid into the driver's seat and started the car. She was used to James being beside her in the front seat. She was used to riding with him. But this time felt different. It felt right. It reminded her that some things had always been real between them. And this was one of them.

He closed his eyes while she drove. They switched places for the ride back. They didn't talk- but they didn't need to. And when he pulled back into the driveway she felt more relaxed than she had in days. And if she was honest, maybe since the last time they had done this.

They climbed the stairs back to his room together.

Her hand found his as they walked into his room.

She fell asleep in his bed, his arms around her waist and her fingers laced through his.

3x09

Her breathing had finally calmed down. It had taken a while. They had never been quite like that before. There was always passion- even if it wasn't the right kind, it had been there. But this…The way James had held her. The way they had moved together- rough and desperate for each other. High off of taking down Mayo- high off of finally getting Phoenix. And nothing to stop them- not Camila, not Guero, not power imbalances. Just them- together.

But now, she could feel more than the pleasured shocks that James had flooded her body with. Now she could see clearly. James' fingers trailed along her hip, making small circles every so often. Her hand was in his hair, fingers combing through his curls gently. Their eyes were locked on each other. His lips weren't smiling, but James' eyes were. She knew he could see her happiness, too.

"We should do this more often." James' blinked at her, but didn't respond. "It's nice to see you this way. Relaxed." He closed his eyes and rolled onto his back, but he pulled her with him. She knew he wasn't good at being vulnerable, but that was fine. She wasn't either.

His arm covered his eyes, but Teresa could see the hint of a smile on his face. "I'm always relaxed." She scoffed. That was a lie. He hadn't even been able to keep a straight face. The smile he had been fighting broke through. His arms moved from his face and settled around her, his hand splayed across her back. "Don't believe me?"

She shook her head with a smile. "No." James just shook his head and pulled her closer. She liked this- being naked with him. They had never really allowed themselves moments like this before. Camila had always been a shadow hanging over James. And Guero had kept Teresa from wanting something intimate like this with anyone that wasn't him. Then there were the cages, and the seemingly different values, and a million other things that made them not trust each other.

But that was gone now. She trusted James to see her this way. And he was trusting her, too. Even after everything, they could have this now. It was nice. Her head rested on his shoulder and his fingers found their way to her curls. They stayed quiet for a long time, enjoying the moment of peace. Then eventually they talked- next steps, expansion, profits and delivery. Then other things. Afghanistan, life before Guero- the things they had never let themselves talk about before. The things that made them vulnerable.

And for once Teresa wasn't afraid of the vulnerability.

3x10

'Come back to us.'

Her finger slid along the edge of Guero's medallion.

'You don't think… James?'

She stared at the broken tracker.

'You won't regret this.'

She wasn't sure that was true anymore. Exhaustion pressed down on her, but Teresa couldn't sleep. The plane was too cold. Her body was too sore. And her mind… there were too many questions that she didn't have answers to.

She wanted to trust him. She wanted to tell Pote that it wasn't James. But…Her mind went to that cabin in the woods. He saw Tony's broken Gameboy- the tracker it held. James had done that. He had used someone she loved to keep tabs on her. Was it really so hard to think that he'd use Guero's medallion, too?

Things are different now. This isn't like before. But her mind wasn't as convincing as she hoped it would be. Things were different. They had opened up- they had learned to trust each other again. 'You don't have to hide from me.' But she had trusted him the first time, too. She had opened up to him in Dallas. Things suddenly felt more similar to last time than different. Besides, James had always been good at separating personal from professional.

Her mind kept replaying the day he showed up in Malta. And then the day that they met. Then every single moment they had ever spent together. She questioned every word- every gesture. She didn't stop when the plane had landed, or when she was pulling into the driveway. She didn't stop analyzing and judging and questioning.

Not until she saw him.

James was leaning on the kitchen counter. A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips. It made her doubts go quiet- seeing him like that. Then Pote came to stand next to him and they all came flooding back. Louder- harsher- more difficult to quiet. But if James noticed the sudden tension in her, he didn't show it. He straightened up, rapping his knuckles on the counter lightly. With a small nod he turned to go, voice warm as he said, "Welcome back, Teresa."

She hated that she wondered if he meant it.

3x11

She didn't sleep that night.

Lil' T was gone. KellyAnn was dead. James was…hurt. She had hurt him. She had broken the trust between them. And she didn't know how to fix it. She had been so sure… No. Pote had been so sure. And she had been so unsure that she had followed his lead. She had let him convince her that James was a rat. She had let him convince her that James was a threat. Because she couldn't be objective about him. Because he meant too much to her. But they had been wrong- so wrong.

And now KellyAnn was dead. She had lost someone else that she cared about. Someone else that she trusted had betrayed her. And this time she couldn't go to Pote. Because he had missed it. He hadn't been objective either. And this time she couldn't go to James. Because he had tried to warn her that KellyAnn was vulnerable and she hadn't listened. Because he had figured out what she and Pote couldn't.

Because she had hurt him.

So she didn't sleep. She stayed up. She stared at the wall in front of her. She counted the minutes that ticked by on the clock. She went over KellyAnn's confession- replayed James' expression when he told her he was there for her. And always his face in the kitchen- hurt and angry. Because she could believe it was him but she couldn't believe it was KellyAnn.

So she stayed up- back against the wall- listening to James work out all night.

3x12

She had a 'deal' with Cortez. Camila was in Sinaloa. George was back. Well…George was in Phoenix. Teresa wasn't sure if he would ever be back- not really. She pushed the thought away. She focused on business. It was easier. Business was easier than a lot of things at the moment.

He was leaving. He was leaving and it was her fault. Because she hadn't trusted him. Because she had let her fears cloud her judgement. She couldn't blame him. She wanted to. She wanted to make it his fault. But she couldn't. He had proven his loyalty. They had agreed to put the past behind them. She's the one who broke the trust this time, not him.

She could hear him in the other room. He was talking to Javier, explaining how they did things. Teresa couldn't help feeling like he was training his replacement. She hated that thought even while she appreciated him for it. She could hear the exasperation in James' voice at something Javier said. She let her eyes drift towards the door.

She could go in. She could pull him away, lead him upstairs. He'd let her- probably. That's how they had started. Her wanting him and James giving her what she wanted. Sex against walls and on kitchen counters. Nights driving and drugged coffee. He had given her so much before they even trusted each other- before either of them actually cared about the other. And he had given her even more after the trust came.

But she wouldn't ask. She wouldn't go to him. She would respect his choice- respect the space he had asked for. She could give him that. Because he was still giving her his loyalty- he was still risking his life for her business. He could have walked. He could have left her to figure out that KellyAnn was the mole on her own. But he didn't. He could have told her to deal with Cortez alone. But he didn't. So she could stay out of his way if that was what he wanted from her.

Footsteps came into the kitchen. She didn't look up- she didn't need to. She wondered when she had learned his footsteps. She wondered a lot of things. "Jimenez is up to speed. Whatever your next move, he'll know how to handle himself." James sat in the chair across from her. She could see how tired he was. She could also see the way he didn't quite meet her eyes- how he looked slightly to the left of her instead. It hurt- a lot.

"I should have trusted you."

"Teresa-"

"I should have come to you. I'm sorry." She had already told him this. She had said it on the balcony the night everything went down. But she needed to know he heard her. She needed him to know she meant what she was saying. Because she did.

James sat back and shook his head, his hand running down his face. "Look. It doesn't matter, alright? It happened. Can't change it." But she wanted to change it. She wanted him to stay. She wanted so much. But she didn't say anything. "I get it. Everything with Tony and Camila…I get why you doubted me." She took a breath. "You should try to go legit."

The change in subject shook her for a second. Disappointment mixed with relief, but she went with the shift. Her mind mulled over the idea. It was a good one. Separate things to keep the waters from getting muddied. "Start somewhere new…Legit business only. But keep running product from here and Sinaloa." It could work. It could be good.

James nodded slowly from his seat and she saw it in his eyes. He was thinking the same thing she was.

He won't be there to see it.

3x13

Cortez was dead. Camila was in exile. She had a deal with the Colombians. And James was gone.

She had celebrated with the crew. She had teased Pote on the plane. She was proud of what they had accomplished. But…She felt his absence. It was so odd to turn around and see Javier instead of James. It was odd that things were moving forward without him with her. It shouldn't have been. She had built her business without him for months before Malta.

But that was before Malta. That was before so many other things. And now it felt…almost wrong to be without him. She turned to look out the window. The moon was bright and Teresa liked the way the light reflected off of the clouds. It was beautiful- a little haunting, even. But it somehow matched the loneliness she felt rising in her.

So much had changed- again. So much had happened- again. Guero was gone. KellyAnn was gone. And it hurt, God, it hurt so much. But she had pulled through. She had found a way to survive. And she was proud of that. She had George and she had Taza. She had Boaz and Javier. And Pote- always Pote. And she knew she could handle what came next if she had them.

Her mind went to her goodbye with James. The way he had held her close. The way she hadn't been able to let him leave with just one kiss. The way she had led him to her room, undressed him slowly. It had been so different from every other time. It had been so much…more. Slow and sweet and full of words she was too afraid to say. Something they could both hold onto- carry with them. Because he was gone, but she wasn't ready to let him go yet.

She took a deep breath- let the memory fade.

Guero was dead, James was gone, but she knew…

Somehow she'd be alright.