I don't own Descendants. Oneshot. If you want a longer fic, check out Her Royal Highness on my profile.

It was eleven-fifty-seven. Ben's phone buzzed against his desk mournfully. He glanced down, glimpsed a contact with a string of kisses and dragon emojis attached to the short three-letter name, and picked up his phone with a smile. Immediately, his heart dropped into his stomach.

"Ben… I'm pregnant." The text read.

Ben pursed his lips and drummed his fingers on the desk. If she was, he'd be in trouble, since he hadn't married her quite yet(He had the ring, he swore!). Auradon would have all too much to say about that, not to mention his parents giving him a lecture on the security of the future of the kingdom and people in the royal courts yelling at him. He chewed on his lip and deliberated what to say.

What were the chances she really was pregnant?

The last he'd been clued in, she had been bleeding almost five weeks ago, so assuming that had continued normally, she should have been on her cycle last week… yeah, that checked out.

How would she know this soon? It wasn't like Mal exactly liked to go see doctors, though she would have if this was serious, and she couldn't leave the palace to go to the drugstore to buy a test like any other girl without someone spotting her and starting an internet campaign. Of course, she did have three slightly less conspicuous friends, not to mention their significant others and… yeah, that checked out too.

Ben dug his fingernails into his palms and took several steadying, deep breaths. His heart was racing a little. Had his collar always been this tight?

What were the chances Mal would send this over text instead of telling him face-to-face? True, she'd left Evie to deliver to him the note she was leaving Auradon, but-

Ben caught a glimpse of the date and time on his computer and all of the tension faded out of his body. Oh, right, today was April Fool's day. Ah-ha.

Ben slid on Mal's message and formulated his response. "Ha-ha. Yes, I know today is April Fool's day. Good try. I love you and I'll see you when I get off work." He added a few emojis that were blowing kisses for extra effect.

A knock sounded at the door as he put his phone down. Ben glanced up. His parents were standing in the door to the office. "Hi mom, hey pops." Ben greeted them with a smile and gestured to the chairs around the office, indicating they could take a seat wherever. Belle and Adam carefully stepped into the room and took two seats beside the desk, to Ben's left.

Belle rubbed her sweaty palms down her skirt, and it was around this time Ben clued into the fact they either looked extremely angry or extremely worried. They examined him as they sat down, and Adam let out a little breath.

"Son, something has come to our attention that we want to discuss with you." He announced.

Ben raised an eyebrow at the official, direct tone of his voice. "Yes?" He asked.

Adam swallowed hard. "We've been hearing talk from the servants that… you and Mal are participating in immoral behavior."

Ben let his hand fall onto the desk. Really? Now? They wanted to talk about this now? After his girlfriend/True-Love/Almost-Fiancée(Yes, he swore he was going to propose soon!) had almost given him a heart attack with her prank? (Speaking of the love of his life, his phone was buzzing again, but he couldn't exactly pick it up to look at it while he was talking, now could he?)

Belle frowned at his dumbstruck expression. "Ben, we raised you better." She whispered sternly. "You know how we expect you to treat the young women you date. Has anything been going on that could jeopardize the future of the kingdom?"

Always about the kingdom… always about the kingdom. Ben sighed. For one day, could it have nothing to do with the kingdom and everything to do with the fact Ben and Mal were in love? Just once? "Mom… Dad." Ben shook his head, trying to figure out how to subtly deflect the question without lying to his parents. "You know how I was brought up." He told them.

"Have you and Mal been sleeping together?" Adam asked, ignoring Ben's statement and fixing his hard gaze on his son.

"She's in her room at curfew every night, Dad." Ben shook his head. "We obey your rules."

"So, there's no possible way she could have gotten pregnant, correct?" Belle asked, squinting suspiciously at her son. Ben burst into laughter. Nervous, slightly irate laughter, but laughter all the same. This was a coincidence, right? It must be. There was no possible way they could know of Mal's prank yet unless…

…Unless they were in on it.

Ben furrowed his brow and then his face broke out into a smile. "Actually, I have something to tell you guys." He chuckled.

The color drained out of Belle's face. Adam looked like he'd swallowed an entire apple. It gave a whole new meaning to the description of "Adam's Apple".

"And that would be?" Adam asked slowly.

Ben wiped his expression clean, pushed his phone, face-down, away as it buzzed again, reminding him he had an unread text, and turned off his computer screen, giving the impression that he was completely serious. "Mal recently confided in me something that was quite shocking to me… she actually has a daughter on the Isle of the Lost who hasn't been brought over."

Belle's mouth fell open with a little pop. Ben began to stomp down on his foot and focused on the pain to draw the smile out of his expression completely.

"We want to bring her over next week." Ben continued. "But the problem is that the father was, ahem-" he blanked out for half of a second and then coughed. "Murdered. Brutally. By Jay."

Adam took Belle's hand, looking just as pale as she was. Ben bit down hard on his cheek to keep from laughing and faked a wince to cover it up. "I want to step in as the father, and I'm going to adopt Mal's little girl." He told his parents.

Belle let out a long, slow breath. "Okay." She mumbled, squeezing her husband's hand so tightly her knuckles were turning grey. "Okay." She repeated.

"There may be some mental problems, like abandonment disorders, but Mal and I have already agreed we'll work through it." Ben continued. "And that leads me into my next few points." He paused to watch his parents fidget anxiously and chuckled inwardly. "You already know I want to marry Mal, right?" He asked.

"We know." Adam nodded and exhaled. "Have you… have you asked yet?"

At his question, Ben deflated with an inward scowl. "Yes, and she said yes. However, she didn't want to get married in front of a big crowd, so we decided to go a non-traditional route."

"Non-traditional?" Adam asked.

"Didn't?" Belle blurted out. "As in, past-tense, didn't?"

Adam stared at Ben in horror. Once again, Ben had to suppress his laughter. "We got married a few weeks ago and decided not to tell anyone." He lied. His parents squinted at him, and he knew he was toeing the line of 'you're being ridiculous and we don't believe you'.

"It was in San Fransokyo," Ben explained. "Don't you remember back in February when we stayed out late for Valentines? That was when. We used grandma and grandpa's old rings. And yeah, I have the certificate down in my room."

Belle slumped back into her chair, looking like she was going to faint. Adam was tearing up, looking like he'd swallowed a soap bar. Ben held their gazes evenly and couldn't help but think: 'every boring, stupid meeting I've ever sat through in my life has led up to this moment.'

He swallowed his glee and continued. "There's more." He told them. "Mal is, actually, pregnant. But she doesn't want either of her kids to be put on the throne. So I've been working on something I hope you'll support me in." He reached into his desk for a file folder at random and opened it, tilting the contents away so his parents couldn't see what it actually was. He focused on the collection of Official Auradon debts in his hand as he took several slow breaths to keep from exploding.

"We're going to leave the palace and live out near the Summerlands. Before we go, I want to reverse all the laws against magic so that Mal can actively use her talents again, and we're going to turn her mother back into a human and bring her with us. Mal thinks that after all this time, her mother has probably mellowed out, and we think it'll be safe for it to be just the five of us out on the Summerlands." Ben began, glancing up to watch his parent's faces turn colors. "

And now, for the big play. Ben set the folder down and put his fingertips together as Belle shook, and Adam's teeth clamped down on his lip. "And then, to keep Mal's kids from ever having to be in line for the throne, I'm abdicating." Ben declared. Belle gave a gasp and her eyes rolled into the back of her head a little bit. Adam, however, narrowed his eyes, and Ben knew he had seconds to finish his declaration. "The throne will go to Jay, who's going to rule jointly with Carlos and maybe Evie."

"You're bluffing." His father deadpanned. "Aren't you?"

Ben burst into laughter. Loud, raucous laughter. He put his head down on his desk as his shoulders shook and his stomach began to ache. Tears spilled out of his eyes as he laughed. "Your faces – oh, I wish I had a camera!" He laughed.

"Oh, you little!" Belle made a violent gesture. "I completely forgot! It's April the first.

"You turd." Adam grumbled. "So, all of that was made up?"

Ben nodded, still bent over and wheezing. "Yeah. I'm not going anywhere. We're not bringing anyone over. Mal's not pregnant. It was just a joke."

"So you and Mal aren't married, aren't sleeping together, and aren't leaving?" Adam asked.

Ben shook his head silently with a smile, referring only to the first and last statements. Belle let out a little sigh as she got to her feet. "We're going to get you back." She threatened. "Aren't we, Adam?" She helped her husband to his feet as he shook his head.

"Let's not start a war, dear." Adam sighed in a long-suffering tone. "I've had enough excitement for the next week." He leaned over and clapped Ben on the shoulder. "I should have known you better than to think you wouldn't be taking this seriously. You're a fine king, and Mal will make a fine queen."

Ben ignored the stabs of guilt and nodded with a smile. "She will be." He agreed. Just as soon as he proposed to her(like, soon. Really, really soon).

Adam smiled, and Belle rolled her eyes, and the two of them turned and headed towards the door. As they crossed into the hallway, he picked up his phone, expecting to see a series of complaints that he'd figured out Mal's ploy so quickly.

"April Fool's Day?" Mal asked. Then, a minute later, "You guys have a day specifically to play pranks on each other and didn't tell me?"

Then, the last word text: "I literally had no idea what that was, Ben. This is actually 100% serious. I'm pregnant." Followed by a picture of her holding an ultrasound photo with her name and yesterday's date stamped in the top right of the paper. Mal's fingernails were visible – purple and chipped – and she had a streak of purple paint on her hand, all but confirming it was her.

Ben drummed his fingernails on his desk. What were the chances this was fake? Mal could always have pulled something off the internet, but… he frowned. If she was, then she couldn't be more than three weeks in, meaning that the baby would be about…

Wow. That checked out.

Ben set his phone, still open, on the desk and put his chin on his hands as he stared at the texts. Mal was serious. This was real.

He closed his eyes and groaned as a horrible thought struck him. Oh boy, were his parents going to kill him.

At least it could be worse, right?

Read Her Royal Highness for a longer, more intense and realistic Bal story.