The Curse of Miracles

Chapter Fourteen: Dinner with Dave

When Sebastian told his mom that Dave was coming over to eat dinner, his mom was pissed. Her blonde hair was pulled back into the messiest bun he'd ever seen and she'd OD'ed on so much jasmine perfume that Sebastian was gagging.

"Why couldn't you have told me before that your friend is coming over? Sebastian, does that this place look like it's ready for a guest?" Nathalie asked. "I mean—you guys didn't even pick up your laundry yet!" she pointed towards the couch where there was a near nuclear spillage of laundry everywhere, mostly socks that got holes in them and black pants that had been washed for so long that it looked closer to grey than black. "And I didn't even nearly make enough!"

Sebastian scoffed, staring at the spread on the table. His dad would be eating that gross fruit and cheese salad for days.

"I was busy snoozing," Sebastian just shrugged. The scent of gloopy cheese made him gag. Hey, if she was so worried about the bear cub starving to death, then Sebastian would just give up his plate anyway if it would appease her. He didn't feel great, but he guessed his normal was different now since he just passed out in his best friend's fucking house a few days back. "Then I got homework, you know? That thing that I got to do to try and have a fucking future?" he realised his poor choice of words because his mom just dropped the ladle she was holding and looked at him, teary eyed.

She looked like she just got told that her dick criminal ex-husband just got out of prison. Sebastian just stiffened.

"Mom, come on," Sebastian sighed deeply when he noticed that his mom was already starting to babble and cry hysterically. As she sobbed, she just wrapped her arms around him like he was going to fucking disintegrate right in front of her. He wished his mom let him get a dorm in Dalton instead of bitching about how she wasn't so sure that he could wake up on time for his classes or that he could manage a semester there without getting in trouble with Dalton's security guards. "Mom, please… my guy friend is gonna be here. You can't be crying everywhere. It don't look so good."

Nathalie just clung onto him tighter. "I'm so sorry," she said tiredly. "I'm so sorry that I didn't believe you."

She paused and stared at him with big, fat green eyes. "Sebastian, these…this cancer…it's all about when you find out, isn't it?"

He shifted away from her, trying not to look her in the eyes. She was making him so damn uncomfortable.

"I mean it's been growing for months and months…what if before, they could take it out before and now, they couldn't because its' been so long?" Nathalie looked disgusted at herself. What was Sebastian supposed to say? Well, if that was true, mom, it's okay? I don't care that you pretty much killed me? Yeah, Sebastian doubted that that was going to go down so good. He hated that it seemed like he got to deal with everyone moaning about how sad it was. What about him? He couldn't complain about being scared. Like his mom, who was fucking terrified about him dying, was going to calm him down. She rubbed his cheek. "What if you die because…because we didn't…because nobody believed you? What if that happens?" she asked him softly.

Sebastian just shrugged and didn't say nothing. If he started talking, he wasn't going to say nothing nice.

"I read about it on the internet," she said. "If we would've taken you before. If we would've…you could've…"

"What do you want me to say, mom?" Sebastian didn't expect to sound so cold. His mom looked shocked, but then pressed her hand to her shaking lips. Sebastian closed his eyes. "You know what? It ain't that big anyway, cause I'm still a fucking dick," when he said that, he heard her choke back a sob and then heard the doorbell ring.

He wished he didn't invite Dave over all of a sudden. His good mood just like fucking died, and he felt so guilty for what he said. Even if he was right. Sebastian wished he could stop feeling so goddamn much because it hurt.

When Sebastian opened the door, he was surprised to see how good Dave looked. He smelled real nice too, like he'd finally found someone to buy him a cologne that didn't make him smell like he was auditioning to be part of a swamp. He really tried with his clothes too—a thin, white fleece jacket on top of this dark green shirt that brought out how light his eyes were. His jeans got the just-bought-black look to em (a nice cut too), and he was wearing these thick brown boots that was probably hell to walk up all them stairs in. He got a maroon scarf tied around his neck. It was a real nice colour too, especially on him. It was kind of getting too hot for it, but Sebastian appreciated the effort especially since Sebastian was standing there in his fucking sweats and didn't even care. Dave was lucky that Sebastian even smelled okay.

"Hey," Sebastian said softly, wishing that he could muster up at least a fake smile. He probably looked horrible.

"Hey," Dave offered what a gigantic-looking glass baking pan that was covered in tons of aluminum foil. Balanced on top of that, rather cleverly, was this light looking chocolate sponge cake that was covered in caramel syrup. It was store bought, but the gesture was still plenty nice. "My dad made this baked, stuffed chicken with vegetables to take with me, you know, for your mac and cheese. Plus, I got dessert." Sebastian wasn't so much of a dick that he didn't help him carry the stuff over to the table. His mom was flushing, seeing Dave bought pretty much a whole new fucking dinner with him.

"Thanks," Sebastian said when he put down the baking pan on the table. "You really didn't got to bring nothing."

"Yeah, and show up empty-handed again?" Dave smirked a little bit. "I mean I'm not a big dick like you."

"You're right," Sebastian replied and, in a whisper, said, "I do got a big dick," he hoped his mom didn't hear him say that.

Dave smiled and pushed him playfully on the shoulder. Sebastian feigned a look of mock offense.

"Oh!" Nathalie just came in and was flushing, considering she just noticed that Dave bought oven baked fucking chicken for a whole army. Maybe with all these leftovers they got to gobble up, Sydney would finally gain enough weight to look like a real human being. "This is so nice, David," he could see Dave look like he was clocked in the face. David.

"Soooooo nice, David," Sebastian said mockingly under his breath, and Dave was trying not to smile.

Nathalie, who probably heard him, offered him a tight smile. "What's that, love?" she totally caught on him. "You want to say grace?" they didn't even fucking say grace around that table on fucking Thanksgiving. And who the hell was this fucking Grace person anyway? Like he'd be mentioning anyone with a pussy over at the table when he wanted to eat. "Oh, sweetheart, that isn't necessarily but if you insist and it is your lifelong wish to fulfill then I don't see why you can't—"

"Um…I would, but you know, I…" Sebastian couldn't say all that cum he swallowed changed his voice. His mom might have a fucking aneurysm. "Saving up the voice, you know… for the Warblers," he shrugged tentatively.

"Yes, of course," Nathalie responded back in a thick, sweetly voice. "You won the last competition, didn't you?"

Sebastian shot her a glare, because she knew as well as he did that he didn't win jack shit. "Winning ain't that important, right?" he replied back, shrugging and Dave was trying to bite back his tongue to prevent himself from laughing. "Besides, I mean…we totally got money for Dave for that Lady Gaga foundation for the performance," he reminded her. "Even though we probably should've spent that money to buy Gay Face a new wardrobe," he couldn't help but snicker.

"You did what?" Dave looked surprised, as if that was the first time that he heard that Sebastian did anything like that.

His cheeks coloured in. "It ain't important," he could see Dave's face softening. "Just a show choir thing."

"Sure," Dave answered and then there was this second of silence that hung in the air where Sebastian felt a little light and airy.

Sebastian's stomach churned a little bit more when Dave pulled down the foil and the acidic smell of tomatoes hit him. He couldn't exactly make himself a bowl of cereal and sit down with his family like he'd intended now since the fucking nice asshole, Dave, actually bought food and it would be real goddamn rude to say that he wasn't feeling it.

Dave kept stealing looks at him, like he was really wondering if everything was okay between him and his family.

Sydney and his dad came back from a run half an hour back. Sebastian was just setting up the table when they both came in, faces flushed, as they fought over who got to shower first. Sebastian and his mom didn't talk. It was like the conversation they had didn't happen, even though his mom looked like she was about to have another breakdown. And if she did, he was seriously going to grab the bottle he got stashed under his bed and try to drink it without projectile vomiting so that he didn't got to think about what was going on. Even before he sat down at the table, Sebastian's mind was mentally calculating whether or not his mom still got the oxycodone pills from that knee replacement she did three months back.

Sydney and his dad came in, dressed up in matching red-and-navy sweats and sweatshirts. Him, the gay guy that used to care about how he looked, looked ten times worse. Sydney and his dad's hair were still wet and smelling of real strong shampoo when they started fixing their plates. Dave gave him a smile from right next to him. Sebastian tried not to gag at the strong smell of cheese and hot dogs. How did knocked up women do this? And they actually got to eat to sustain a fucking being. All Sebastian wanted to do was heave just so he didn't feel so goddamn nauseous in the first place.

As if it was a fucking battle, Sebastian scooped up a pathetic serving of potatoes and chicken from Dave's dish, trying to avoid the pretty pungent tomato sauce around it. He picked up the most boring looking bread roll and was buttering it.

"So… uh, Dave," Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief when his dad didn't call him David. "You go to Thurston?"

Dave nodded his head mutely. "Transferring after… what happened," he paused. "Um… but I heard that Sydney goes there too? I mean, the football team that they got there is pretty big, and I transferred there pretty late from McKinley too. Not that they'd take me now, you know, considering." He paused for a moment, and then met with Sebastian's eyes.

"Sebastian was in Thurston before too," Nathalie happily announced, spooning mac and cheese. "You know, before he applied to that Dalton scholarship. He is pretty smart, even though he spends most of his mental energy plotting revenge."

Sebastian just shrugged shamelessly, but he was annoyed. He didn't want his mom to mention his Thurston days.

"Really?" Dave looked at Sebastian like he was surprised that he never mentioned it. "I thought you were a pretty out kind of guy. And the guys there are kind of assholes to anyone they know is gay." As in, he was wondering about if he was out at the time. If he got beat up or real pushed around like Dave was, and Sebastian just didn't want to fucking talk about it. "But I guess maybes things, you know, changed from when you went there and from when I went there…"

Sydney was real uncomfortable too, as he cleared his throat. "Yeah," fifteen minutes in, he'd already managed to eat like half a pound of mac and cheese. He now started on this gigantic looking chicken thigh and wing that he covered in even more cheese. "Sure."

Dave looked at Sebastian, who just shook his head. A look of recognition filled Dave's face. "Yeah?" his voice was low.

Sebastian mutely nodded his head. If he even had an appetite before all of this, it fucking died. He was now nauseous and wanted to go clock off in bed forever. "It was okay, big guy," he said in a little forcefully. Even he thought that it was pathetic. How could someone have so much shit going on with them? Even Sebastian didn't believe himself no more. How could he have such a fucked-up childhood, a shit time at his school, be fucking raped by his ex and then be told he was maybe going to die? That wasn't normal. It sounded like someone was making shit up so that they could be a victim. And Sebastian Smythe was not a fucking victim of nothing. He didn't care how much crap happened to him. He didn't care.

Dave was staring at him, like he was trying to figure him out. Sebastian stayed quiet. There was nothing to figure out about him, okay? What you saw was what you got, and Sebastian was sick of people knowing things about his past.

"Hey, you're not eating," Dave decided to mention, and Sebastian noticed that he'd taken like one bite out of his bread.

Sebastian just shrugged. He was trying not to throw up here, so they should be damn lucky that he wasn't puking over a toilet bowl right about now. "Yeah, well, I'll eat later," he finally said, knowing the chances of him inhaling anything later was better. He was sure once he stopped feeling so nauseous, he'd be mainlining Oreo dust and injecting himself with vanilla creme. "Are you staying? I got some stuff I wanna show you." He didn't got jackshit, just a couple of old songs and a 1970s old black-and-white movie. He just wanted an excuse for Dave to stick around longer than just a couple of plates of mac and cheese and dessert, yeah?

When Sebastian asked that, Jean choked on a piece of apple and turned blue. "Staying? In your… room?"

Sebastian scoffed. "What? Scared for whatever's left of my tarnished virtue?" his reply made Nathalie glare at him. What? It was the fucking truth. Honestly, it was Dave and his dad that should be worried that he'd be getting chlamydia from Sebastian's pillow or something. Hell, Sebastian went through STD's like Gay Face went through pantyliners. "Dad, we ain't going to be doing nothing. You know, that is if Dave stays anyway," he hoped that he did. He didn't wanna be alone.

"Oh," Dave looked kind of like he finally got what was going on. "Sebastian, I…I can't stay. I have to get home."

"That's okay," Sebastian answered but he couldn't help but feel the pain in his chest when Dave told him this. What did he expect? That this guy would just suddenly go with it when Sebastian didn't even ask him before? When his dad probably was scared to shit about Dave being out of the house for long where he couldn't keep an eye on him? "I mean…just if you wanted," but Dave could read him well. Read that he wanted him to stay here with them being all alone.

There was a sudden silence in the room with Sydney reaching for his third helping of chicken and potato, and his dad pouring himself a glass of water. He only had salad on his plate with the smallest bit of chicken and vegetables.

"Does anyone else in the family have this?" Dave finally asked, daring to disturb the uncomfortable silence they settled in. "You know, like… does anyone have cancer?" the word weighed heavy in the air and Sebastian found himself go stiff.

Sebastian felt the air got knocked out of his lungs, but he slowly shook his head. He didn't know nobody.

"That guy you work with did—you know, have cancer," Dave finally said after a pause.

"Really?" Nathalie looked surprised. She looked at Sebastian as if he was keeping this piece of information from her.

Sebastian snapped his head up because you didn't fucking expect to hear that. "Hunter, you mean?" there was no way that he meant that Hunter fucking Clarington, the guy that cleaned the counter-top ten times an hour, used to be sick. Cause if you were that sick and recovered, you'd probably figure out life was way more important than folding tacky pants.

"Yeah, that guy," Dave nodded his head. "He used to go to Thurston now before he got sent to military school," he explained. Shit. It had to be Hunter. What other kid went to military school? "He came back this year after he got 'straightened out'. But I heard that he had like cancer in his blood or bone or something, I'm not like too sure on the details. But like I'm sure he had it since he was a kid? And they think that's why he juiced up; you know? Like everyone sort of knew that he probably didn't feel like…you know, a normal teenager being sick for so long. Like the guys from the football team said they think he used it to like to feel stronger than he actually and his parents thought that he'd go rouge so they sent him away. I guess that's why he's such a di…jerk!" he said, flushing when he remembered he was having dinner with Sebastian's parents. "Not that I'd know if he actually is. I never met the guy."

"He is a dick," Sebastian muttered. No wonder Hunter was such a douche. Who the fuck sent their kid, who just recovered from cancer, off to military school even if they did pump their body full of Arnold anyway?

"Yeah, he is," Sydney perked up, suddenly getting invested in the conversation. He took a sip of his water. "There's no way Clarington had that since he was a kid though. Like…I think he's been going to Thurston for a while since he was part of the football team when it was good. I just got back to playing, and he was there for like a whole season and we won every game. Then he like fainted on the field one day, and we thought he just didn't eat for practice or something. Then the coach told us that Hunter got sick and he wasn't coming back. We saw him in the hospital after they did a bone marrow on him. But we didn't feel like we shouldn't have bothered. I mean... he's not the kind of guy that you support through anything." Sebastian begged to differ. He was the kind of guy that 'you wouldn't support through anything' and he was fucking dying here, crying out for someone to notice how much he needed help.

"Football team usually go around talking about sick kids?" Sebastian asked kind of coldly.

Dave just shrugged. "Thurston is huge, but you remember a kid that got sick." The kind of thing just stuck with Sebastian. He didn't want to be the kid that got sick. He just wanted to feel like people didn't hate him so much no more. "Sorry," he said in a whisper when he noticed the expression on Sebastian's face. His voice dropped down, "Hey, I—"

"That's horrible," Nathalie looked aghast, putting down her spoon. She'd eaten half a plate of the mac and cheese but was weeding out the hot dogs. She put them for Sydney and Sebastian but pretty much found them gross-tasting and artificial, which you know, was what made them great in the first place. "Baby, do…do you know how people in your school are going…going to react when you tell them?" she looked at him with big, doe eyes. "Do you think they'll be nice? I mean… I know I know we shouldn't tell any of your teachers until they book the date for the surgery but…"

Sebastian scoffed. "I'm not telling nobody nothing, okay?" his tone said one thing: this is not for debate, yeah?

Nathalie stared at Sebastian like he was insane. "Oh," she whispered instead. Then she perked up, "But-but at least your teachers will—!"

"No," Sebastian shook his head, looking away. Nobody was going to know what was going to happen to him. Not his fucking teachers, not the Warblers, not the Nude Erections—if he could just be the only one to know, that would be great. "Nobody's going to know," he didn't care if the only time they'd know he was sick was when he died. He didn't care. "I don't want my fucking hospital bed covered with stuff from people that don't even fucking like me." Sebastian wanted to be miserable and alone just exactly like how he'd been for most of his life. Why did people fucking care about him dying now? Did you think that Kurt and Blaine wanted to give him a real chance from before? Yeah, like they cared.

"Hey, kid, that's not true," Jean looked at him with a softened expression. "I'm plenty sure that your teachers just want the best for you, and your Warbler friends care about you a lot." Like he fucking knew what went on in his life.

Sebastian kept his lips pursed as ever. "Like you care about me?" he snapped. "Honestly, I don't know why you care if I die. It's not like I've ever done anything but fucking disappoint you." When he said those words, Sydney started choking on a piece of apple that was in his mouth and he swigged down some lemonade that was probably his mom's.

When he saw his mom stare at him with shining tearful eyes and his dad being heartbroken, it killed him.

"Hey… hey, I'm sorry," Sebastian felt guilty but that didn't mean that he didn't mean what he said.

The rest of dinner continued to be really awkward, even when they dished out dessert. Sebastian ate just enough to prevent his mom from thinking he was going to starve himself and then he said goodbye to Dave at around nine-thirty. Sebastian just couldn't help but feel so cheated now. He felt like he was living in a fake universe, okay? How could people that didn't care about what happened to him two weeks ago suddenly be afraid he'd die in his sleep? How?

Kurt Hummel clocked him in the face before he got a seizure. It wasn't like they were fast on their way to being friends. But now, he cared enough to spend a whole night with him in the ER?

If Sebastian wasn't sick, did you think his parents would care so much if he wasted his life away? He didn't feel like anyone was genuine no more, that it was all fucking fake, and he didn't want it to seep into his fucking Dalton classes either. If people were going to continue treating him like a goddamn criminal, then he'd just take it like he always did.

That night after Dave left, Sebastian climbed into his bed and stared at the ceiling. He really wished that he got someone here to lie down with him. Sure, he knew that Dave couldn't just stay here. And once wouldn't be enough either. He got his own life. Just because Sebastian's life might be coming to a dangerous screeching halt didn't mean that Dave's did, yeah?

Just as Sebastian was tossing and turning in bed, his phone flashed with a bright light in the encompassing darkness. Ring. Ring. Ring. Someone was calling him. Dave.

"Hey," was the first thing that Dave said when Sebastian answered. "I had a feeling like you can't sleep," he paused for a few more minutes. "You could've just told me you wanted to have sex with me." Sebastian let out a weak smile but didn't say anything to that. He just let Dave talk, but even now, he was starting to feel a little sleepier. "No bar tonight?"

"I feel sleepy right now," Sebastian yawned. "You know, just talking to you, I feel like…"

He could practically feel Dave smile on the line. "You could give 'em a chance you know," he said in a low whisper. "Look, you got so much anger in you, yeah? And it's just hurting you so goddamn much." Sebastian felt that real hard, because he felt like he got this burning pain in his chest every time he thought about everything that happened. "Don't you want it to stop?" he asked softly, in a way that made Sebastian's eyes fill with tears. His fucking everything hurt him so much. "Don't you wanna think better of people? Or do you just wanna live like this? Do… do you wanna die like this?"

"No," Sebastian just shook his head, feeling his heart race a little faster. "It ain't fair," he whispered, voice cracking. The last thing he remembered was that he started crying like a baby. Then maybe five or ten or fifteen minutes later, he closed his eyes and passed out, asleep.