"And what if his 'friends' don't really want to get in the car with some random axe murderer who may-or-may-not-try-to-offer-us-candy-that-Wally-wont-refuse?" Dick said suspiciously, altering his stance ever so slightly. His suit was in his backpack at the moment but he wasn't about to let that hold him back of things got nasty. And yeah, maybe he had a little bit of caffeine still in him.

"Man, what's with you and axe murderers lately?" Wally breathed, wondering if his shoes would hold up in a couple-mile sprint.

"I had to take one down earlier this month and believe me, it was NOT whelming. The guy was giving kids candy with - actually, never mind. You don't want to know."

Peter stopped at the car door and looked back at his friends, just a little bit surprised and just a little bit uncomprehending.

His head was still a little loopy, it seemed, but getting better. Happy, however, merely stared at Dick and Wally with an expression Peter had come to know well in the past year or so-mouth ever so slightly open, eyes emanating complete and total doneness.

"Look, I don't give a crap about candy or axes. Just get in the car."

Dick narrowed his eyes, taking a small step backwards and keeping his hands firmly in his hoodie pocket. "No."

"Do you have food?" Wally asked brightly, eyes glancing from Peter to Happy. He needed to eat, this guy looked rich (check out that sweeeeet ride!), and Peter seemed to trust him without a doubt. "'Cause all I ask before you chop me up is that you let me die on a full stomach."

"Ew." Dick muttered, but gave up trying to be smart about the situation. It wasn't like he hadn't botched up the day already by giving into the temptation of forbidden energy drinks, and besides - he was kind of hungry too. Peter and Wally had already found their seats, so with a little huff and a roll of his eyes in climbed in after them. The limousine was almost as nice as Alfred's (a sleek old thing in mint condition he lovingly referred to as, 'Her Majesty'), but it held none of the familiarity that the former circus kid had grown quite attached to. This reminded him of their otherwordly situation and made him frown even more, sinking a little deeper into the seat and staring straight ahead. "Totally not feeling the aster." he grumbled.

Ned stood awkwardly beside the car after everyone else had climbed in, and Happy was halfway through rolling up his window when he noticed that fact.

"You coming or what? We're on a schedule, you know." The man checked his watch with a frown and then jumped his gaze back to Ned.

The teenager's eyes widened. He pointed a finger at his own chest.

"Me? You mean...I can get in, too? Like, actually ride in a limousine of Tony Stark's?"

Happy gave him his Look, ignored Ned's question, and then finished rolling up his window. Ned took that as a yes and happily jumped in the car.

"Best day ever..." he hissed to Peter, and then, after reconsidering that statement, couldn't resist adding, "Except that time that I totally saved your butt from getting killed behind school. That was pretty awesome." Peter snorted, glad he was by a window, and decided Ned deserved the little self-satisfied grin he had put on.

Happy glanced in the rearview mirror, sighed, and put the car into gear. Before he left, though, he had to clarify one thing.

"Just for the record..." he held up a finger earnestly so the teenagers clustered in the back could see. "I'm not your babysitter. I'm not your nanny. And you better believe me when I say that this will never happen again." He paused, let it sink in.

"Never."

That said, he had a timetable to comply to.

"That's pretty obvious, since we're not babies, and you're also not hot. Who ever heard of some old guy being a babysitter, anyway?" Wally smirked, leaning his seat back and putting his feet up on the one ahead. He never got to do that on any Wayne Enterprise merchandise.

"Where are you taking us, anyway?" Dick asked, keeping his voice neutral. The almost-familiar streets of New York blurred by outside the window, and it almost looked as though they were heading for the city limits. "I need to speak to your boss at some point. Is that where we're going? Do you guys have a hideout? Should we be blindfolded? Do you have zeta beams here? Is there going to be a kitchen big enough for my friend? How much do you know about us right now? Are we going to meet the Norse god dude?"

Happy ignored Wally very conspicuously and slipped on his trademark pair of sunglasses. Peter wondered how the man was going to cope with these two even for this car ride-however long that was going to take (speaking of which...it was looking like he might need to call Aunt May sometime soon and let her know what was going on). Regardless, if Happy thought he was annoying, he could only imagine what being in tight quarters with a ravenous speedster and somewhat intimidating ninja-acrobat might do to him.

"First of all, I'm only going to answer one of those questions right now," Happy began, sounding decidedly annoyed already. "Second of all, he's not technically my boss."

Peter opened his mouth to protest that point, but shut it again quickly upon seeing Happy's suddenly fierce gaze fall fully upon him via the mirror. The webslinger quickly averted his eyes and chose instead to start counting all the red cars that went by. It kind of numbed his mind-which was a service he direly needed right now.

"Anyway, I'm taking you all to a hotel downtown. It's safe. You can trust it. Whatever...Now, keep it down back there for a bit, will you? I need to concentrate on traffic." With that, the chauffeur hit a button above his head and coolly let the dividing window between the front and back seat block out all contact with his charges.

Deja vu. To this entire situation, actually, Peter thought.

"Oh-kay."

This was going to be a loooong car ride, Dick thought to himself, absentmindedly popping his knuckles. "Does he do this very often?" he asked Peter, feeling as though there was a good chance he already knew the answer.

Peter shrugged.

"It's just Happy. You kinda learn to go with it."

Dick leaned forward and rested his head on the back of the seat, staring at Peter and Ned just a row ahead. "So...you've got spidery powers from being bitten by a radioactive spider, you live with your aunt - "

" - hot aunt." Wally interjected dreamily, but Dick chose to ignore this and pressed on.

" - you have what seems to be a good working relationship with the top heroes of your world, yet none of them have like, I dunno, adopted you or something. Assuming you can be adopted and your parents aren't just off working or something. I guess what I mean to ask is, do you have parents? Are they okay with all this? From what I've heard, this dimension doesn't exactly have sidekicks or young heroes aside from yourself."

Peter felt a tad nauseous at Wally's comment, felt himself go hot at the mention of the word "adopted", and legitimately stiffened when Dick asked about his parents.

Maybe someone asking wouldn't have usually made him feel so small and attacked like this, but he had not been expecting a question like that now. His mind only scrambled for the briefest of seconds, however, before Ned jumped in, positioning himself so he could look Dick full in the face as he spoke.

"Dude. Not cool," he said, sounding so disapproving that even Peter had to glance over at him. "No one asked you where your parents were." The teenager shook his head solemnly. "So uncool to spring a question like that."

Peter swallowed and couldn't help but look down at his hands. Ned sounded more serious than he had heard him in a while, and while it surprised him that his best friend had spoken so boldly to these two guys who had, quite literally, fallen out of the sky yesterday, he was more than thankful for the backup.

This was pretty awkward, though.

"I'm sorry," Dick said quickly, genuinely apologetic. He stated down at his hands. "I just thought - maybe we... I dunno. I wasn't thinking."

"Uh, dude, YOU lay off!" Wally snapped at Ned, glaring. "It was just a simple question! And an obvious one too!"

"Wally, stop!"

"Guys...stop, please," Peter said quickly. He swallowed, finding his mouth surprisingly dry. He wasn't going to let this turn into anything bigger than it was or had to be.

"Wally's right. I..." he cleared his throat, feeling almost as if he were betraying Ned in some way. "My parents died when I was little, before the spider bite. No big deal."

He avoided looking at Ned and instead gazed out the window, knowing his friend was probably confused and maybe a little hurt. But the question made sense, and if they were ever going to work together and figure all of this junk out, he supposed they needed to know a little bit about each other. At this point, though, trying to learn anything else about their dimension-hopping companions might prove to be awkward and possibly strained.

On a more positive note, though, the little escapade had banished the last of his grogginess...

There was an awkward silence, and Wally's face turned as red as his hair. He didn't regret saying something, though.

"It is a big deal." Dick finally said, his voice quiet. "I lost mine five years ago - being Robin...well, it saved me. I don't know how long you've been Spiderman already, but it'll save you too - whether you realize it or not."

Dick closed his eyes, suddenly tired. How long had it been since he slept, anyway? Getting up and going 'shopping' that morning had seemed like an eternity ago.

Peter swallowed some of the tightness in his throat, and the ache it left behind-for some reason-reminded him less of the pain of his parents' disappearance and more of everything that had happened after Uncle Ben...died. But Dick...he had lost his parents more recently than he had lost his. And not only that, the younger teen could probably remember them a lot more clearly than Peter would ever remember his own. Something about that hurt, but was comforting at the same time.

He cleared his throat and managed to look at Dick. Despite the general awkwardness of this situation, however, the moment he saw Wally, still looking miffed and resolute beside his best friend, he realized something.

"Uh...thanks, Dick. And...I think you're right. I know 'sorry' doesn't always...you know...help when you lose someone," Peter paused, remembering Uncle Ben and all the times people told he and Aunt May they were 'so sorry' during the days after his death. He wasn't entirely sure where he had been going with that line of thought, so he pushed on to what had really been meaning to say. "But, well...Ned has really helped me through a lot of junk, even before I became Spiderman, and I think friends like that can also save a person." He glanced over at Ned, who was looking at the trio with a kind of forgiving solemnity and grinned. "I guess we could all use a "guy-in-the-chair" sometimes."

Immediately the tension in the stretched cab of the car lifted, and who could blame any of them if there was a sudden slight outbreak of moisture-causing allergies? Dick nodded, seeing Peter afresh. He'd suspected as soon as Peter had mentioned his aunt that the two of them shared the cringe-worthy label of 'orphan,' and this further solidified their similarities in his mind. "You're right. Friends are...well, they're all the family you need. Right?" he poked Wally lightly and the redhead scooted a little closer to pull his friend into a quick hug. That had long since stopped feeling weird once both he and Roy realized how much of a tactile person Dick truly was - and because the Freakin' Batman hadn't exactly seemed like the most - affectionate kind of guy, even Roy had tried to make up for that whenever the Troublesome Trio hung out together.

"Back in the circus, there was a phrase our Fire-breather used to say all the time. 'Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.'"

"Everything makes sense now," Wally laughed, putting up his fingers by his head to make it look like the Bat's cowl.

"...and obviously friends are around to ruin possibly feelsy moments." Dick replied dryly, but smiled anyway.

Ned opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment, the car stopped with a sharp jolt, backed up, went forward again, lurched a few more times, and then came to an uneasy stop sideways.

"Dude. Is this...McDonald's?" Ned asked, looking back incredulously at the rest of the group. Happy flung open the door a second later, looking almost pathetically humiliated.

"Get out. We're stopping to eat."

HeyyyyyyyyyYYYyYyyyyyyYYyyyYyyy

So

Uh, this is awkward. Heh. I literally used to promise myself if I ever wrote fanfiction I wouldn't be one of those people who never update...YET HErE WE AREeee. As I'm sure you and the majority of the world know, there has been A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

*screams and definitely does not hide under a weighted blanket*

But anyway, lucky for eveERYbUDdY there's still actually a lot of raw material from this story left on my computer, and while it's a finished product, there's a good many chapters left to post before I yoink my cowriter over and we actually maybe finish this. I mean, we already have like a sequel sort of thing planned where they're olldderrr and more has happpeeened and stuuufffffffff and no more spoilers ;)

HOPE YOU GUYS ARE DOING WELL AND BLESS YOU SOULS FOR CONTINUING TO HANG ONTO THIS LIKE THE LAST BIT OF DRIED PRUNE DANGLING FROM A PIECE OF TWINE TIED TO A STICK AND UNCEREMONIOUSLY THROWN INTO A POND THAT ONLY HOSTS BLUEGILLS love you guys