Petals flowed from her lips, vivid red like blood or the silk of her robes and sometimes with touches of marigold. It is almost beautiful in a haunting and dismal sort of way. Maybe if it were happening to someone else it would be morbidly aesthetic. Azula finds herself choking again, the petals it isn't painful-more or less it is uncomfortable. At times it tastes strangely pleasant, but mostly it leaves an odd earthy taste in her mouth. She plucks the petals from her mouth and sets them aflame.
At least she has one advantage, she can get rid of the evidence of her otherworldly affliction. She can keep her problems to herself. Still she is frustrated with her predicament. Other than the steady stream of petals she can hide her feelings so well.
She thinks that it must be some sort of vengeance from the spirit world. Some twisted punishment for being so secretive and guarding. But is it really anyone's business who she loves.
Is it even his business?
He has the Kyoshi girl anyhow. Some confession, sappy or not, would only be a bother to the man.
Azula is frustrated with herself and embarrassed all over again to know that it is Sokka in particular, of all people, that she has fallen for. The man is barely a man, more so some blundering hog-monkey than anything else. Yet her heart has taken a shine to the oaf.
She wanders down the hall for supper, hoping that the dining room will be empty this time. The thought of breaking into a coughing fit of flora is heavily unappealing. It isn't empty when she arrives. But she has put off eating for too long, there is a dull ache in her belly and she can't go another day without eating anything at all. Trying to make herself as inconspicuous as she can, Azula finds her seat. But she is noticed immediately, it isn't a surprise being as her presence has become such a rarity these days.
She ignores the stares and tries to finish her meal quickly. But not at a pace her father would scold her for should he have been there. She listened to them chatter amid themselves. TyLee prattles on and on about how good being a Kyoshi warrior is doing her and Mai isn't even pretending to be interested. Aang on the other hand is fully invested in the tale. Katara and Zuko speak of politics with an occasional jesting remark from Toph. She hears Suki speaking and actively tries to block out the sound of Sokka's reply.
But it meets her ears anyhow and triggers a bought of coughs. At first they are flora free, they are still enough to earn her all eyes.
"Are you alright, Azula?" Zuko asks.
Azula nods but the fit doesn't pass. She can feel them now, forming in her throat. She had already been covering her mouth, now she has it covered with both hands. The first few petals seep into her fingers. She moves one hand and snatches a napkin, holding it to her mouth as the fit grows more forceful. Involuntary tears spring to her eyes, it is hard to breathe. She doesn't know how much more the napkin can hide so she dismisses herself without a word, hoping that they will attribute her departure to a more standard illness.
She can hear them talking as she departs; hushed voices asking Zuko if her illness is serious.
.oOo.
It had been a mistake to try to join them all for dinner and she doesn't risk another trip to the dining hall for a while. Mostly she eats late at night or early in the morning when there are few souls up and about, much less Sokka.
But she is growing lonely. She likes to think that, prior to contracting hanahaki, she had been doing a good job of being a more approachable person. She doesn't understand why she is being punished now. Doesn't understand why the universe is making it hard for her to rebuild stable relationships.
Whatever the reason, she finally caves to her craving for social interaction. She makes her way towards the chattering voices in hopes of the best. Mai, Zuko, and TyLee are the only ones present and it is a relief to Azula. Maybe without Sokka around, she can get through a conversation.
She seats herself without a greeting. They don't notice her at first.
"Oh! Azula! When did you get here?" TyLee asks with a smile as cheerful as Azula remembers.
"Just a few minutes ago." She answers, she finds that her voice is hoarser than she recalls. Has it really been that long since she has spoken to someone?
"You don't sound too good." Mai comments casually.
"Yes." Azula agrees. "I haven't been feeling well lately."
"Do you need to see the physician?" Zuko offers.
Azula shakes her head. "I'll manage." She doesn't know how but she will. She watches TyLee pluck a flower from the grass and cringes.
TyLee holds it out to her. "Here, it smells nice."
Reflexively, Azula crinkles her nose. "Eh...no thanks, TyLee." Quickly she adds, "I'm not much of a flower person." She wishes that were the truth. Almost as feverishly as she wishes that her heart would have tied itself to TyLee instead. It would have been much easier, somehow less awkward. She feels bad for thinking of TyLee as a means to cure a disease, even if it had only been a passing thought.
"Alright, I'll just give it to Mai."
"Flowers are gross." Mai grumbles. It takes all of Azula's willpower to not mutter something akin to, 'you're telling me.'
"Zuko?" TyLee offers. He rolls his eyes and tucks the flower behind his ear.
"Well, how do I look?" He asks.
"You look exactly like how you run our country."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Azula shrugs, "delicate and fragile."
"It's nice to see you again, Azula."
She gives a smug smile. "Yes, I know. Who else will remind you that you're a wimp?"
"Toph, occasionally." Zuko notes.
"I'll have to thank her for filling in for me." She says it with a jesting smirk but a sorrow tickles her belly. She wishes that she can talk like this regularly. Hell, she wishes that she can stick around for the rest of this conversation. But her throat is beginning to prickle and she knows that she is overdue for a burst of petals. She looks at her palms and coughs once. She supposes that she should announce her departure before she can't. She coughs again. "I am going to get myself a glass of water."
"Sounds like you need it." Mai agrees.
With a parting and agreeing nod, Azula stands. She is angry all over again that she has to cut the conversation short. It was going so well...she sighs. Only when she makes it to the quiet solitude of her room does she let herself succumb to the coughing. It is worse this time and her sides and throat ache from the ferocity of the fit. Her floor is a mess of wet petals.
She thinks that she can see speckles of blood.
She doesn't know if it is from her throat being so raw or from the flowers themselves; perhaps the roses have grown thorns.
Azula curls herself on the ground, shaking at the thought.
She doesn't want to know what is going on inside her throat.
Can she die from this?
She supposes that if love could kill anyone, it would take her out first.
.oOo.
She has only emerged from her room twice after that within a two week span, she resorts to using the bathroom that is conjoined with her room and having her meals delivered. She only speaks when someone knocks at her door and she is quick to push them out.
Azula doesn't think that she is being unpleasant but has a feeling, all the same, that people are viewing her as cold and standoffish. They are beginning to visit her less. She chews the inside of her cheek. She doesn't want to lose the delicate friendships she has formed and reformed.
She slips from her room once more. She can already feel the petals tingling in the back of her throat, threatening to spill themselves out at any moment.
When she emerges into the dining room, she finds it empty. The entry and living rooms are empty as well. So she checks the garden, only finding two people. "Where is everyone?"
"Aang wanted to take Zuko to some shop he discovered." TyLee says. "I've already been there so I stayed behind."
Azula's stomach lurches as she addresses Sokka, "and you?"
"That shop is for kids." Sokka replies. "I am a man."
Azula gives a sarcastic sniff. "You think that you're a man." She is doing herself no favors in pushing the man away. His affection is rather critical to her health.
"What brings you out of your room?" Sokka asks.
With every word, the petals and vines in her throat seem to shift. "I needed some fresh air and conversation."
"I thought that you didn't like people."
"She likes people!" TyLee declares.
"In moderation." Azula half-lies.
"So, what, after ten minutes of talking you retreat to your room for a week to recover?"
Azula blinks at the sheer audacity of the man. All the same, she has to admire his bold brazenness. "I might need more than that to recuperate from you."
Sokka laughs. "Glad I can drive you that crazy!" He slings his arm over her shoulder and around her neck. It is more than enough, she doubles over almost immediately. She barely hears TyLee shout her name.
This round of coughs is much more violent. She can hardly breath and she thinks that she may choke. So she really can die from love. What a truly wild notion. Her body seems to fold in on itself on its own accord. Petals are weeping from her mouth and she can't even hope to conceal them. The sheer amount is overbearing.
The grass beneath her is a mess of rose and marigold by the time her fit passes. She is breathless, her eyes watery. She feels so weak and drained, she doesn't even try to pick herself up. She doesn't know who is rubbing her back. She thinks that it is TyLee. TyLee has rubbed her back like that before. She finds herself being lifted up. Sokka nuzzles her into his arms. He pets her hair. She appreciates the thought but, Agni is she scared, he is going to trigger another round.
TyLee observes the scatter of petals. The same petals Sokka is quizzically staring at. Azula swallows.
"What the hell was that?" Sokka finally asks.
"Oh, Azula." TyLee clasps her hands together a look of sympathy splaying itself on her face. And then she gives a soft chuckle. "You would get yourself a case of hanasaki."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Azula mutters, her voice twice as raspy.
"You're always bottling things up." She gives Azula an affectionate boop that the princess makes a point of ignoring. "This is why you can't do that."
"What's a hanahaki?" Sokka asks.
"Uncultured peasant." Azula folds her arms and fixes him with a half-pout. Not that she isn't thankful for his cluelessness. She can't imagine that it will uphold with TyLee around.
"It's romantic, Sokka!" TyLee gushes. At this, Azula scoffs. "But it's also really tragic. If a person falls in love-and it has to be real, true love!-and it isn't required then they start coughing up flower petals. The disease can only be cured by the person returning their affections."
Azula feels her cheeks flaring.
"That's adorable, Azula."
Azula's face grows reader and her frown deepens. "It won't be so adorable when I toss you into the turtleduck pond." Perhaps she can make herself hate him. But she doesn't, she can't.
Somehow is infuriating teasing is also endearing. "Why can't I just cough up fire or something befitting of me."
"That's not how hanahaki works!" TyLee exclaims. "It wouldn't be romantic."
"I hate romance." Azula mutters.
"Apparently, that's not true." Sokka remarks.
"I can be in love, but I don't have to like it." She says more to herself than anyone.
"So who is it?" Sokka asks.
The question takes her by surprise. "That's none of your business."
"Is it mine?" TyLee asks hopefully.
"No!" Azula snaps reflexively. "Maybe. But only if you can keep your mouth shut about it."
This gives Sokka a devilish idea. "I won't tell the rest of the gang if you tell me who is responsible for your hanasaki."
"Hanahaki." Azula corrects. "If I tell you, will you kick his ass for me?"
Sokka thinks for a moment before agreeing. It is another nice sentiment, but she keeps her lips sealed. He has put her in an uncomfortable position. Either he is going to find out about her girlish crush or everyone else will find out that she has one. She doesn't know which evil is worse.
She wonders if setting him on fire would end her affliction or end her life. She folds her arms over her chest and holds her silence. Her eyes fall upon the heap of petals, they flutter about between grass blades. "Fine. Tell them, they're probably going to find out sooner or later."
She must have sounded pretty dismal because his voice loses all jest, "I'm won't tell them." He pauses. "But I think that you should tell...whoever it is. That," he motions to the indent that her body left in the grass, "looked kind of painful."
"It is…" She trails off.
"I'm sure whoever it is will return your feelings." He pauses for a moment and his own cheeks seem to grow redder, he goes through with what he wants to say regardless. "You're really pretty and one of the smartest people I know." And then the jesting is back, "you're kind of a major jerkbender, which I think is a family trait, probably. But I'm sure that person would like you anyways."
"I doubt it." Azula mutters.
"Why?" TyLee asks.
"They're taken."
"Oh." She replies glumly.
"But if they weren't would you tell them?" Sokka asks.
"I think...maybe." Azula replies. She supposes that she would rather be direct. She has a momentum going and for a moment she thinks about telling him anyhow. But before he can he picks a flower petal off of the ground and tucks it into her hair. "Ew, Sokka, that was in my mouth."
"Yeah, I'm the one who should be saying ew. It's your slobber not mine."
She truly doesn't understand her own thinking, she should be completely off put by his foolish remarks, and yet she isn't. She finds his humor rather comforting, even if it is on the childish side. Still, she doesn't let on, "do you want to end up in the turtleduck pond?"
Sokka laughs.
"You two are adorable." TyLee smiles.
He laughs louder. "Yeah, maybe now that Suki left me we can start our epic romance!" He jabs Azula in the ribcage. "What do you think about that, Azula?"
She fights to keep the heat out of her cheeks. "It sounds awful."