What a wild and mysterious being...

After freeing his arm from the scary pink-haired lady, Izuku quickly went to hide behind Kacchan.

"Oh, come on!" He yelled, head tilted back to look at his oldest buddy. He shook Midoriya's cowering hands off his from his shoulder. "Hands off, shut-in! And what's with the trembling? You can clearly tell she isn't like the asshats in our class. Aren't ya excited or happy or something? C'mon, let me see your tail wag." Izuku quickly latched back onto his shoulder.

"Kacchan, it's just too much for me at the moment! I'm being overloaded by her in-your-face friendliness, which I need to remind you is not something I've faced before. You, your parents, and dad aren't excitable like this. At least the stares of our classmates were something I was used to and could handle. How can I handle her?" He pointed in the pink-haired girl's direction while she was just looking at them with her head quizzically tilted to the side. "And besides, komodo tails don't wag." At this, Bakugou huffed, and spun around so that Midoriya was facing the eccentric engineer and that he was behind Midoriya. He firmly held his friend's shoulders and brought his face close to where Midoriya's ear was under his suit's headgear.

"Look, just do as we practiced. You already said hi, now you just need to offer your name, ok? Offer your name, then ask her her's." He stated. He thought back to how he and Izuku had practiced introducing himself to people: pillow dummies, walking with and talking with each other on the way to and from school. Every now and then, they even had Bakugou's mother and father act as friendly strangers. Bakugou mentally ran a hand through his hair. Of course simulations don't hold candles to the actual event. Part of that was because Izuku was practicing with what he was familiar with, rather than waltzing up to someone unfamiliar and asking him to help him practice his introduction. Another part of that was because the dreadlocked girl had hyperactivity.

He patted the Komodo's shoulder. "Remember, I'm here for you." Izuku trembled out a nod.

"So, uh… yeah… Um. Hi. My name is… it is, it's, uh… my name's Mizuku. I mean, I mean, Midoriya. Uh, Midoriya Izuku. Hi to meet you." He started to choked a little. "Yuh… ya… Your name! What, what is it? What'ser neim?" He breathed in and out. "What is your name?"

"You, pfft, you've got a nice way with words, I'll give you that!" She started to giggle, but forcibly cut that off early. She didn't want to scare away this boy or make him feel bad, and she most definitely didn't want to get the blondie beside him mad. Something instinctual within her told her to be wary. "But I need to say, you could work on it a bit more. Don't worry, with enough practice with people, especially people you don't know or talk to often, you'll be able to introduce yourself to people without worry, like me! And, if you have enough yen on you, you could sign up for a class to help you with speaking to others! Ooh, I feel like I went too far in a tangent. Ahem,"

She bent her body, putting her weight on her right foot and sticking out her left hip. She put a hand ont that hip, winked, and pointed a thumb at herself. "I'm Mei Hatsume, junior inventor professionaire and mother of many innovative babies! I'm at your service!" She blinked. "Wait, didn't I say my name to you both already? Ah, right, I was rambling during my introduction! Man, I can be so scatterbrained sometimes! I didn't think about whether you two could understand me through all the chit-chat I was doing."

"Huh…" Bakugou just looked at her. It wasn't every day somebody met a living trope, like a scramble-brained scientist. He looked to his old friend in the hazmat suit and saw that he was trembling a little bit less than before, which was a good sign. He was calming down, which meant he could communicate more clearly and stutter less. That meant that the radioactive Komodo now had to move on to the next part of their planned conversation: asking about King Caesar. Not only would that sate their burning curiosities about the robotic mutt, but it would be good for helping Izuku socialize. Unless the other person was an ass, asking someone else about something they were doing generally leads to a more detailed conversation and aids a person's social skills.

He nudged Izuku to set the ball rolling.

"So, uh, so, um, what's with you and… what's with Kuh- what's with King Caesar?"

"King Caesar?" Izuku pointed to the dog. "Oh, you're talking about Baby number 14! Wait, I already said, right? I made my Baby for a science fair project at my middle school."

"Baby?" Katsuki interrupted, unimpressed. His childhood friendjust thought about how cute it was that she called her invention Baby, as if she were a mother gushing about a child.

"Of course! I made it, I'm it's mommy and it's my baby! Anyway, shush, no interruptions. I made my Baby to be able to analyze the particles in the sewage pipes. You know, how much of it is organic and inorganic, what are the main chemical compounds, level of microorganisms in relation to all the detritus and waste, that sort of thing." She pauses so she could breathe and slow herself down. As a science enthusiast, she had to constantly remind herself to slow down- no use imparting wisdom to non-scientists if they couldn't understand her.

"My science fair partner is trying to make a chemical compound to clean all the nasty stuff out of the water while still making it drinkable. Now, of course, we already know that there are chemicals and compounds that already do that, but my partner's trying to make a cheaper solution. The more efficient the solution, the more taxpayer dollars get saved!" She paused for a moment. "Hah! Solution. Chemistry puns, heh."

"... Wow, that's… that's actually pretty cool of you and your partner." Izuku stated.

"Thanks for the compliment, Shy Guy! Though, I really need to ask. How come you've been roaming around the Musutafu sewer system?" She got closer to Izuku and peered into the visor on his hazmat suit. "I mean, I've noticed for a while that some shadow was stalking my Baby 14, but then always went away before I could get anything more than a glimpse. Then I started to hear voices, whispers, murmurs in the wind that had to have come from that shadow. And now, I know its you! And also your blonde friend there! Who, by the way, also needs to introduce himself." Bakugou had a tint of red along his cheeks. He was too preoccupied about Izuku that he forgot to introduce himself.

"... Tch. The name's Bakugou. Katsuki Bakugou." He jerked a thumb in the reptile's direction. "I've been Izuku's friend since before kindergarten. I've also been trying to help Izuku deal with his social issues, which you're doing great with, by the way!" He said to the radioactive child. "Now, were you going to say anything else to Izuku or do you want to hear why we're in this shithole?"

"Mmm…" She put her chin in her hand, as if in deep thought. "Not really. Oh, and I want to ask why you decided to name my Baby?"

"Oh! Uh, um…" Izuku gulped as he was put on the spot. "Erm, you see… I don't really… like talking to people much. Or, well, interacting with them. I- I still gotta go to my school though so I need a way to travel and the sewer system is perfect because no one would think to do their daily commute here and then I've been doing this for years then suddenly I see this robotic dog. And, I, well, I just ignored King Caesar here at first, but then, then, as the days flew by I decided I needed to talk to it. I don't really know what compelled me, you know, might be something to do about how lonely humans tend to humanize objects. I-I-I-I tend to see Kacchan on a daily basis, so I wasn't completely alone, but I only had Kacchan, so I probably felt I needed another companion. I couldn't just not name your Baby number 14 in my attempt to humanize it and make myself less lonely, you know. And that's uh, that's… yeah that's- that's it, that's all. Yeah."

"Hmmm..." Hatsume began. "I'm not quite sure how I feel about the shifts from slow and awkward stuttering to fast-paced rambling, and back again."

"Oh." Izuku hung his head. "I'm… I'm sorry about that." Hatsume shoved Bakugou aside and put an arm around Izuku's shoulders, and forcibly lifted Izuku's head back up.

"Oh don't be! It's not meant to insult you or put you down. I'm just saying that that was a bit jarring! I guess this must be how you felt when I started to flap my gums at mach speed, huh? A little off-put, somewhat uncomfortable, but knowing it ain't entirely bad, right?"

"You... you're awfully close…" She removed herself from him, hands held up defensively.

"Okay, okay, I understand you want space." She moved closer to King Caesar and began to inspect the dog. She noticed that there was a couple of scratches along the toe-area. She continued to talk while conducting her examination. "Now, understand I don't just acquiesce to everybody's demands to get off them. I mean, as the prospective support-item designer I am, I think it's a good idea to get real close to people. Easier to take measurements that way, you know. But you just seem so unused to people you don't know that I felt that getting closer would be more destructive than constructive."

She stopped her machinations and then looked at Izuku. "Speaking of support and design and et cetera, who made that hazmat suit of yours? Not only is it not sleek and stylish, but I felt up the material. It didn't feel to good. I can also tell from how sags on you and your body that, aside from not being too form-fitting and looking like it could easily snag on a twig, it's made out of a heavy material. That can't be too comfortable now, can it? Plus, I could hear you how you breathe outta that thing. And by breathe, I mean something more along the lines of raspy gasping or something."

Every word she said, every criticism she directed at the hazmat suit, served to remind Izuku of his situation. Each word chipped away at the unconfident friendliness he was building up with Hatsume and was slowly making him cold again. Neither Hatsume nor Bakugou could see Izuku's face behind the mask as it became more and more impassive. Even so, they could still feel that something was off with the boy; no matter how many layers of clothing a person was buried under, their feelings can still emanate through.

Hatsume started to feel concern. Her face scrunched up as she asked, "Hey, is there anything wrong?"

"Psst," Bakugou nudged his longtime friend. "Do you feel alright telling her about why you wear that thing? Or are you going to try and make up some excuse?"

"Why make an excuse at all? If I was going to try and befriend her, I would have to tell her about my Quirk anyway. Might as well get it over with." Initially, Izuku was worried about what could happen if this prospective friend discovered his Quirk and, like everyone else, retreated from him. After all, who would want to be friends with a carcinogen like him? To help him get over that, Bakugou gave him titles for two different movies and one anime series he could find and watch online. Each one involved people keeping a secret befriending others and, once that secret was revealed, all parties were still friends by the end. Of course, this was only because they were friends in the first place. Telling Hatsume about this now, while they were merely acquaintances at this point?

Well, this radioactive reptile was used to people distancing themselves from him.

"I wear this hazardous materials protective suit because that's what I am." he said, cold but clear, to the pinkie locks in front of him. "A mutation in my Quirk Factor caused me to be a walking radioactive factory. A living biohazard. Resident evil." He stretched out the sagging bits of his suit. "That's why I wear this."

There was a moment of silence. Izuku was expecting this to happen- everyone was afraid of being near him, even if he had the suit on. It was only a matter of-

"Is that all?"

That was not the answer Izuku was expecting. He and Bakugou were staring at her, wide-eyed and mouths agape.

"... Could you run that back? I… I didn't quite catch what you said." He slowly asked of her.

"I was just asking if that was all." She looked at the two of them weirdly. "I thought it was something a bit more complex than that- along the lines of 'toxic dump intern' or something." Pinkie locks shrugged. "Compared to something like that, I just don't find it too interesting if something cool is just a byproduct of someone else's Quirk. I mean, one of my classmates has a Quirk that causes her to spread Mushroom spores wherever she walks. I was excited this one time in Elementary where another classmate got mysteriously sick. I was trying to created a nurse robot, Baby Number 6 if I remember right, and thought that it would be cool to help and find out what was wrong. Turns out, it was just because some of Her spores accidentally clogged up his windpipe. Excitement? Gone." Hatsume had a flat, disappointed look on her face.

She turned her disappointment to Izuku's suit. "In any case, that raggedy hazmat suit you're wearing is an affront to my eyes! Why not appeal for something less… like that?"

"Well, well, uh, these things aren't really, uh, cheap." She facepalmed.

"Must be one of those companies… greedy corporate heads, giving good support companies bad names." Her face brightened up. "Wait, I have an idea~!" Hatsume dramatically pointed at her newest model. "I can design you a much better hazmat suit!"

"Come again?"

"And since I'm doing this for one:my own entertainment and two: my bleeding heart, it will be free-of-charge!"

"Come again?!" She took out a pencil, piece of paper, and some measuring tape, and Hatsume began to aggressively measure Izuku's body. "Wai- wha? Wha? Huh? Huh?"

"Yes, yes… this material is general-purpose, meant to limit both electromagnetic and particle radiation, but its still unnecessarily stiff and dense… needs flexibility around the tail and dorsal plates… further testing to better prepare materials… that's hot! Thermoregulation system needs an upgrade… so does the ventilation system, most definitely… I'm thinking that helmet has to be changed, add in a mouthpiece with moving parts and a zipper to allow for food intake. Ooh, no! Wait! A detachable air filter with a special lock and seal method would work better."

"Woah woah woah woah!" The shyer teen was shaking his hands frantically, which forced Hatsume off his body. Her hyperactivity and close proximity was just too much for the boy to handle at the moment; he needed space and air. He needed those, as well as time to process exactly what the girl just did and said regarding his current equipment. He could hardly believe it, after all. All his thinking about it was exciting him, and he started to breathe too rapidly.

"Hey!" His blonde buddy lightly smacked him upside the head. "Calm down, shut in! Breathe, Izuku, breathe."

"Sorry about that, Midoriya! I was too excited at the prospect of starting a new project. I mean, building stuff like this is why I live and breathe!"

"It's… it's… whoo, okay. I'm okay. I'm okay, Bakugou. It's okay, Hatsume. Hoooh…" His breathing was stabilized. This meant he could think more clearly about the situation at hand. After all, a person he just met was going to try and make his life better to live in. Yeah, okay, that doesn't warrant questioning at all.

He gazed at the engineer from behind his mask. "Why?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Izuku!" Explodoneer sharply whispered in Izuku's ear.

"Hmm? Can you repeat the question, Midoriya?" the komodo began to play with his index fingers in a sheepish manner.

"Well, it's just… I and Ka- err, Kacchan and I. We just met you today. We're not friends, hardly acqu- acquaintances. And yet, and yet… you want to help me out. For nothing at all!" Hatsume was confused at this point. After all, they live in a society where Pro Heroes exist. They did their good deeds for free, with the only cash coming from advertising, merchandise, and government funds. They didn't extort anything from the people they were helping. Neither do firemen or police officers. What's so different about a middle school girl? Izuku was weird.

"You're weird." She said. "Can't a person help others for free just because?" She thought about his other words, about how he mentioned they were only acquaintances. Other than her science fair partner and her parents, she really only had her babies with her… "Well, if you want to pay me for my next project," She spread her arms wide. "Give me a hug and say that we're friends!"

Both of the boys stiffened as they heard her proclamation. Bakugou was feeling a couple of things. One of them was that he felt like a third wheel on a date, except these two weren't romantically involved (Shut up, shipping-trash side of my personality!). Secondly, he was confused by it. Yes, he understood that people could do good things for nothing. But she just said she'd make an expensive item for free and was only asking for a bit of friendship from a very friendless person. Eccentric scientist indeed.

Izuku, meanwhile, was trembling. He was on the verge of crying. Someone was asking him of all people to be friends with them. Him! A walking, talking, miniature Fukushima! She was asking a person who killed his own mother by giving her cancer… to be her friend. He could barely wrap his head around what was happening right now. And she was just doing it so casually, and on the first meeting between the two of them to boot! This is not the type of development Kacchan had his little komodo ass study for the past several days. He was expecting a slow-burn friendship!

"... Okay. This is kind of a good deal. But where you going to get the materials to make the Hazmat suit? Not only that, but Izuku uses three different suits, one for each day he decides to go to school." Kacchan looked bitter at that. "That's going to be a bit of cash needed."

"Oh, don't worry about what it'll cost me- which is very little by the way. Just so you know, I- well, my family- have connections to people. I'll be able to make the best suits for our friend here so he won't have to-"

Izuku hugged Hatsume, even wrapping his tail around her. Everyone was surprised; Hatsume wasn't normally on the receiving end of sudden close contact, and Bakugou was shell-shocked that his very loner-some, generally people-phobic friend was initiating close contact with someone they just met.

Well, some friend we just met.

"Tha…" He sniffled behind his hazmat mask. "Thank you… thank you…"

Hatsume patted his back awkwardly, but she gave a winning smile while doing so.

Bakugou grunted and turned to King Caesar.

"You feel like a third-wheel too, scrap metal?"

King Caesar did not respond. Instead, it just sat there as an onlooker to destiny.

A/N: It just occurred to me that Izuku's canon personality is more suited for a certain plasma-powered turtle rather than a certain irradiated lizard/dinosaur/titan/tree thing/whatever the hell Shin is

Hmm... oh well, not going to change it