Prologue

Elliot sat on the cold ground, in front of a large marble headstone. It was the one place that he would regularly visit at the same time every week, if not more than once during the week. The headstone marked the final resting place for his one true love, the person whom meant more to him than anyone else in the entire world, except for maybe his children. He focused his attention to arranging the bouquets of flowers which covered her grave, left by others who had clearly come seeking the solace of her company. In a way, this was very similar to the reason for his visits today. Today was more than just a usual visit though, he didn't just want to clear his head with her or seek clarity after events of the day. Today's visit was due to an anniversary, not a positive anniversary but the anniversary of her death. It was the day which he had lost his one true love in a matter of minutes. Elliot continued to arrange the flowers and try to put words together in his head, into sentences that would make sense when he spoke them.

Elliot didn't have the words to be able to explain what he was feeling right now, he couldn't string the sentences together to explain how much pain he was feeling. He didn't have the ability to explain how his heart still ached each and every day, for her. How he hurt exactly the same way every single day for the past 4 years, since she'd been so cruelly taken away from this world, away from him. He couldn't quite believe that it had really been 4 years since that fatal day at the precinct, the day where a bullet which was aimed for him, had missed and killed her. The same bullet which had then felt like it hit him in the process, when his heart was figuratively shattered into a million pieces, in losing the woman he loved.

Elliot hadn't been the same since that day, he had pushed almost everyone who cared for him away. The only thing that he wanted was her. The only thing that would change how he was feeling, would if he could bring her back from the dead and have her with him once more. Not to mention, he still felt incredibly guilty about the fact that it should be him lying in that grave and not her, the bullet was meant for him. It was the same guilt that was eating him up inside every hour of the day, it had done so in the same way every day for the last 4 years. To this day, Elliot had a very cold personality towards everyone around him, particularly those who worked in the Special Victims Unit. He wanted to leave, he wanted to quit his position there but every time he tried, Cragen brought him back.

Elliot had tried to quit numerous times but Cragen simply wouldn't let him. Even when he'd purposely tried to get himself fired, Cragen had given him time off but wouldn't let him go. Elliot was not able to successfully work with anyone else in the unit, everyone had complained and wouldn't work with him, so Elliot knew he had to go. However Cragen had not let him leave or transferred him, he simply made it so Elliot would work solo on cases till he corrected his behaviour. Every time Elliot tried to leave, Cragen would use the excuse 'she would want you here, I know that and I know she'd want me to make sure to look out for you'. But Elliot wasn't believing of any of that, no one truly knew Olivia the way he felt that he did.

"Hey, it's me" Elliot started to say, once all the flowers were organised and the words were finally coming to him.
"I brought you roses today, I know how much you love them. My kids are all sending their love, Eli even drew you a picture, of all of us. The twins are going to come and see you themselves tomorrow" Elliot continued, as he took in the surrounding graves, they were all covered with flowers, showing that they all regularly had visitors too.
"You know I can't believe it's been 4 years...4 years since you were taken and yet I still feel the pain like its been an hour. Everyone keeps telling me that I'll start to feel normal again soon but I don't see how that will be possible, you're not here! Things can't ever be normal without you, you are everything to me. I know that you're watching over me and all of us here, but you have no idea how much I wish you were here now...God Liv, you have no idea how badly I want you to be here" Elliot paused, wiping away the tears he had let escape.

"You and I were finally happy, we were together and happier than every but you just had to be taken away from me once we had that happiness. Now I feel like I don't know what happiness is anymore" Elliot continued, wiping away all the tears which were falling. This was the only place that he let himself feel like this and actually cry, he could let the pain he was in, show without issue here. Olivia gave him comfort and allowed him to put the barriers down, he would never cry or show any other emotion anywhere else.
"I tried to leave again this week, Cragen just won't let me go though. I wish you could give him some sign that you would accept me leaving. He keeps telling me that you would want me to be there, but how can I be happy there without you? I just can't, it's too hard and far too painful. The whole place reminds me so much of you and it reminds me of what we had before I lost it all. I can't do this anymore Liv!" Elliot cried, resting his head against her headstone, trying to find some comfort in being near her like this.

Finn and Don stood back from the graves, under the shade of the rather old oak tree, where they had parked. They were watching Elliot. They had come just to make sure that Elliot wasn't completely alone on a day like today, and that he couldn't do something stupid. They hated seeing him in so much pain, still from Olivia's death. But they also shared one of the biggest secrets, one they had never told Elliot and if the secret got to him, it would change his world completely.
"Its been 4 years and you still haven't let him walk out that door" Finn stated, growing more and more concerned for his pained friend. Elliot and Finn didn't have the best relationship for a variety of reasons, but Finn still considered him a friend.
"I promised her that I would look out for him. The only way I can do that properly, is to continue to have him in my unit and working in Special Victims" Don explained.
"He really wants to leave though, he's struggling to handle it all anymore and his rage is getting worse" Finn replied.
"He can't handle it due to losing her, he wants to leave because he lost her. She's coming back though" Don answered, smiling over to the younger detective. He had been rather happy when he'd received this news this morning, with a special phone call.

"What? Really? When? What about the hit though? Is it safe for her to come back?" Finn asked, firing off a million questions at once.
"Hernandez was killed in a car accident yesterday. The reports say that he was burnt to a crisp in the explosion and they really believe that with this, the threat on Olivia's life has ended. So, she's free to return to New York whenever she wishes to do so. I have confirmed that she is coming back with Ella and arrives early next week" Don explained, trying to recount all the information which he had been told this morning.
"Who's Ella? Also, she's going to return and he has absolutely no knowledge of any of this?" Finn clarified as the pair turned their attention back to their heartbroken friend. Everything that had been their lives for the past 4 years was about to change. There was so much that had happened and would need explaining from both parties involved. But, Olivia Benson was coming back from the dead.

A/N: There we have it, the first chapter of my brand new story. So Olivia's no really dead? Who is Ella and how is Elliot going to handle Olivia's return? Well I guess you'll have to wait to see for the next chapter. Don't worry, I'm not forgetting about Returning For You, I've just hit writers block with that one for the moment and this idea wouldn't leave alone till I wrote it.

But leave me a review of this and let me know what you think?
Until Next Time ;)