*Just a one shot that came to mind and wouldn't go away. It's long but worth it. A long one shot. Please enjoy.
Told in Mal's perspective*
*This follows SOME of the canon of the Graphic Novels but not entirely.*
*If you have problems with depictions of the natural act of breastfeeding, please click off now*
*Checks Bank Account* I do not own Firefly. That is the great Joss Whedon

(Everything written in italics is Mal's narration)

It's been one year. One, Gorram year since three people, members of my crew and a hacker who helped us get the truth out there, were taken from us. The hacker was Mr. Universe. The first of two crew members was Shepherd Book. Some say he wasn't officially a part of the crew. But if ya ask me, when ya take up arms and fight alongside my crew, yer not just protectin' yer flock. That makes you a part of the crew. The other man we lost was one of few folks I called, my friend and one of the greatest folks I ever knew and that man was, Hoban Wahburne.

In this past year after losin' Wash, the majority of my crew left Serenity. Some shortly after we left that burial site on the moon I call, Mr. Universes moon. Zoe discovered she was pregnant a few months after the Reavers killed Wash. With much reluctance, Zoe decided to take my offer to leave. She went and built a homestead on Hera, so that she could be a proper parent to her child. Zoe was born Vesselside and didn't want their child to grow up like that. The next to leave was Jayne. When our only course of action was to lay low and hide fer a while, he decided to leave as he claimed to be a, "man of action."

After I made River my pilot and her brother, the doctor, couldn't sway her decision or well... make them fer her anymore, he apparently decided that he wasn't needed to protect River anymore. I remember overhearin' that argument. So he decided to leave to be a doctor on a Rim planet called Angel. He had little to just about no regard for the fact that he broke Kaylee's heart. Especially when he didn't seem to care that she told him she wasn't goin' with him. Even when she begged him not to leave. In his typical fashion, he couldn't be in charge of River no more, or much of anything else, so he packed his bag and left her cryin' fer days. Which broke my heart ta see her not at all cheery, fer weeks. I happily admit, I punched him before he got off my ship.

Speakin' of Kaylee, three months after Simon left... she left too. The reason she gave was that with all the crew that passed and then Simon leavin', followed by Inara leavin', that there were just too many memories and emotions that she couldn't handle it anymore. She had me drop her off on Paquin. And yes, Inara left three months before Kaylee did. But I ain't talkin' bout that right now.

Today was an important day. Today we returned to Mr. Universes moon to remember and to mourn our fallen friends. We done our best to reach out to those former crew members to let them know. When we landed, I stepped off Serenity with River at my side. She looked at me with her eyes tellin' me she was 'bout to say something that was a fact. Whether or not I wanted her to or wanted to hear it.
"Simon's not coming. He never cared about the religious man or Mr. Wash. He only ever cared about Kaylee and more about protecting me. He wasn't bothered by either of them dying. I was there. Both deaths were more of a bother to him than a tragedy."

Even after a year, I STILL wasn't used to hearin' her tell me such things. It was moments like this, I was glad the doctor was gone but it was still hard to remember to not be mad at River for doin' what was natural to her. It wasn't long though before the first of the former crew arrived. Not surprisingly, he was alone. It was Jayne. The only thing had changed was the large, bushy beard he now had. When he came up to us, he was still awkward when he got close to River. He shook both our hands and said nothin' at first.

Once River wondered away, did he finally say somethin'. "So the crazy bitch is still piloting yer ship? That's brave."

I shook my head but still answered. "Well, she ain't the pilot that Wash was but she's got the instincts and that goes a long enough way fer me. How have you been, Jayne."

"Been doin' whatever it is I gots to do to make a ruddin' livin'. I gotta admit, none of the jobs I done have been nearly as great as the ones I done fer you, Mal."

I let out a small chuckle. I couldn't help it. Our conversation was brought to a hold when a pod landed and out walked Zoe holding her beautiful bundle in her arms. Myself and River walked over to meet her daughter. First of course, she gave me a hug before showin' her to us.

"This is, Emma. My world and the piece of Hoban I have." It was the first time since the last time I saw her. It was great to see her smile. I admired the dark little bundle with Zoe's big dark eyes and Wash's and jaw and nose. My attention was gotten when Zoe smiled wide and waved with her free hand. We all turned around to see that Kaylee had arrived. What I saw caused me to freeze where I was standin' when she walked up. It was made real when River appeared and smiled.

"She runs and hides but reappears with a beautiful progeny. There are still many secrets she keeps." Somethin' bout what she said, made too much sense. I was still in too much disbelief to walk over and greet Kaylee seein' as to how she too had a baby in her arms. Zoe looked at them in awe and I knew she was gonna make me go over there.

"Mal, come meet her baby. Might as well be your kid too since you're family, Mal," I knew she was right. That put me back in the moment and I walked over to greet Kaylee. She handed her baby to River and ran up to me. She locked me into a huge hug that I was more than happy to return.

"I've missed you, Cap'n," she whispered to me. "I've missed you more than you know," was my reply. She then took her baby from River and showed him to me. He was for certain, a couple of months younger than Emma. It finally all made sense why she REALLY left. Kaylee was pregnant and wouldn't of been able ta do her job. She didn't want me or anyone to know either. The shame of bein' pregnant by that damn doctor. Or so I thought at that time. I still couldn't get passed how Emma was older. So I asked.

"How old is he, Kaylee?" she just smiled. "He's 'bout three weeks old. I made sure it was okay fer him to travel with me before I left."

Then Zoe said somethin' that brought back a sudden memory. One that would send the verse crashin' down around me. "My goodness, Mal. He looks just like you.
I then realized that this child had brown hair and his resemblance to me was a bit of a coincidence. But there was no way that was possi... Cāo wǒ.

*Flashback*

I was sittin' in my bunk alone. I was hurt, angry, sad, devastated and whatever other emotions exist. I felt them all. Inara had not only announced her sudden departure but had also filled me in on a secret she'd been keepin' from the moment we met. She told me that she was... terminally ill and had been fer a couple of years. That was why she wouldn't be with me and had shut off her emotions to everyone and only did her clients. Her reason fer leavin' was that her illness had gotten worse and she didn't want us around to see it.

I was upset because our last exchange was anything BUT pleasant. Just as the tears began to fall, there was a knock on my bunk door. I told whoever it was to come in and it was no surprise to me that it was Kaylee. She was wearin' a wife beater with her coveralls tied up 'round her waist. Her usual style. She sat down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Talk to me captain."

"No. I don't wanna talk about it, Kaylee. It's done. Ain't nothin' to talk about." I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would get me to open up. She always had a way about her that she could get me to no matter how much I didn't want to.

"Captain, it's not good fer you ta leave it all bubblin' inside like that. You need to talk 'bout it. Ya know?"

"I can't, Kaylee."

She lifted her head off my shoulder and turned to face me. "Cap, I never wanted her to leave either. Ya don't think it didn't hurt me just as much to find everything out? I was crushed and felt betrayed to when she told me she's dyin'. You know I was just as close to her as you was. I couldn't believe she wouldn't want us there ta try and help her get better. Or be there if she dies so she ain't alone. It was selfish of her. I know ya tend ta say some awfully mean things when yer angry. Is that what's botherin' you?"

There it was, she got me. I remained quiet fer a bit longer but finally broke.

"Yes! I felt hatred towards her, Kaylee! HATRED! I DON'T LIKE TO EVER HATE SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT SO MUCH! Duì tā shuō de zuìhòu yījù huà wǒ shì yīgè kěpà de tā mā de rén."

Kaylee was quick to hug me and let her tears fall. "I'm sorry, Mal," she only called me Mal when she was speaking to me on a personal level. "I said some harsh thing to her too. We both know she'll forgive us. Things get said in anger all the time. Don't mean you meant what is was ya said."

I had to move her back so I could look at her even though I wasn't lookin' at her. "I did mean it though. All of it. I told her that she hid that so long, she deserves to die without no one bein' there with her and that she deserves the loneliness."

Her jaw dropped in shock. To my surprise, she shook her head and hugged me again. This time tighter. "Oh, Mal. I hate knowin' yer this hurt. I'll always believe ya didn't mean that. You couldn't have."

I hugged her back just as tight and allowed myself to, for the first time ever, cry in front of not just any crew member, but Kaylee. She sat and cried with me. Huggin' me even tighter. Every so often I would hear her ask, "Why'd ya do this to us 'nara?" and she kept tellin' me she was sorry. Once the waterworks stopped and we were done dryin' our eyes, she asked the two questions that lead to everything.

"You gonna be alright, Mal?"

"Yea. It'll take a bit but I will. I have to."

She took a deep breath and then put her hand on my shoulder. "Were you in love with her?"

I couldn't help but to sigh before I answered. "I thought I was fer tha longest time. Not so much in the last couple of months. Seemed to make it hurt even more."

She hugged me once again. "Please don't turn your heart off, Mal. Someone, some day, will mean more to ya than she did. That's what I keep tellin' myself 'bout Simon and I was in love with Simon. Slowly but surely though, I'm movin' on."

I slowly moved back from her so she could see my face and hand my hands on her shoulder. "Well, I'm here fer ya, Kaylee."

She kept her hands around me and nearly whispered, "And never forget, ya always got me 'round, Mal."

"Thank you, Kaylee."

She hugged me again fer a moment longer and then kissed me on my cheek. I returned the sentiment fer the first time ever. Suddenly as if there was no thought behind it, she kissed me on the mouth. We stopped and stared at each other surprised. Then we kissed each other heatedly and one thing lead to another. I must say, I was surprised by the things she could do. I remember the next mornin', wakin' up alone and we didn't really ever talk about it. Next thing I knew, she was leavin' Serenity.

*End Flashback*

I suddenly looked over Kaylee's son once again and I was certain now who's baby he was but I STILL needed ta hear the answer. "So, what's his name?" Then she looked at me knowingly and swept me away with the answer even though I knew what it was. "Kyle Zachariah Frye," she said with a smile.
Once again I froze and the fire had been extinguished from my thrusters. How could this have gotten passed me?

"Hey, Mal. Since we're all here now, should we get started at least?" Jayne asked me. I took a deep breath before answerin'. "No. Inara's not here yet. We don't start until she is. So let's everyone gather up on Serenity fer right now to rest, change if ya need to and have some chow."

"Don't gotta tell me twice," Jayne responded in his typical fashion and he ran to the ship.

"I gotta feed Emma anyway. So that works fer me."

"I gotta feed Kyle. Some bondin' time fer us, huh Zoe?"

Hearin' that I had to work quickly to not lose my chance to talk with her. "Actually, Kaylee, can we talk in the engine room instead? Just you and me?" Thankfully she gave me the answer I hoped for. "Sure, yea we can do that instead. As long as ya don't mind that gotta I feed Kyle while we talk."

"No, of course not. Do whatcha need to do as his mother."

I actually wasn't sure if I was okay with that but her and I needed to talk so I quit thinkin' 'bout it. When we got to the engine room, Kaylee was excited to see her hammock was still up. I never was able to part with that damn thing. Guess it helped me keep the hope she would come back. I hid my grin when Kaylee quickly sat down with that smile I've missed seeing and held that baby close to her. While I leaned back against one of the engine panels and folded my arms, I couldn't help but admire when she pulled down the left side strap of her shirt and uncovered her breast and held him up to it. Once he latched on and started suckling, she finally looked up at me to let me know we could begin talkin'. I had to take another deep breath so I could get straight to the Gorram point.

"Ya know somethin', Kaylee? I'm pretty sure that what Zoe said to me about that baby, was more a statement than teasin'."

She gave me that look most folks give when they fake not knowin' what yer talkin' 'bout. The one where she tries to look innocent with a smile too wide for even her. "Whatcha mean, Mal?"

I grimaced in a slight annoyance. "Kaylee, come on! On top of him having my hair and chin, you gave him the SAME middle name as mine. Zoe doesn't even know my middle name or that I have one. YOU are the ONLY person in any of the verses that knows my middle or that I even have one.. It's not a coincidence."

She looked down at little Kyle, while he continued to suckle from her breast and then looked back at me with a genuine smile. "Glad ya caught on. I hoped you'd figr it out."

I let loose of a breath I didn't know I was holdin'. "When I saw him in yer arms and you said how old he is, I remembered that night," I admitted as tense as ever. "I honestly can never foget it."

Kaylee just chuckled. "Ta be honest, neither have I. I know what it was and how it happened but I never forgot about it. Fer many reasons and my favorite reason." My heart warmed up outta nowhere and my stomach turned circles when she looked down at Kyle and smiled. "I'll always have the happiest reminder of that night."

"So that's the official confirmation he's my son?"

Kaylee smiled at me with her head sideways and nodded. "He sure is. Simon always wore some form of protection. Even before he left, we hadn't had sex fer almost a month. We couldn't stop arguin' or he was makin' himself too damn busy with somethin'."
Then came the important question that caused a long silence between us. "So what do you want from here, Kaylee? What do you want out of this? I'm gonna be in his life now that I know he exist. I won't be the greatest parent but I'll damn sure try."

That's when the long silence happened. It wasn't necessarily awkward, though she didn't answer the question at during that moment. Instead she looked back down at our son and removed him from her breast. She handed him to me and after I took him, she covered it back up and put the strap of her shirt back around her shoulder. For the first time today, I was able to get a really good look at Kyle. Other than my hair and chin, he had Kaylee's eyes and curiosity. The way he seemed to be lookin' at me proved it. Knowin' fer certain now that he was my child, I lifted him up and kissed him on the head. When I lowered him to look at him again, he was smilin'. He had Kaylee's smile too.

I didn't realize she was standin' next to me with her hand on the small of my back. The two of us standin' and starin' at our son. I can't explain what I was feelin' in that moment. Partly because I didn't want to, the other part was because I never thought I could feel that way and lastly because I once said I never would. We looked at each other, both thinkin' 'bout the question I asked. Then Zoe's voice broke the silence.
"Mal, Inara has arrived."

"Thank you, Zoe. Let everyone know that we'll be startin' soon."

Once she was gone I took a deep and shaky breath to prepare myself. Kaylee looked at me concerned. "You gonna be alright with this?"

"I just hope she forgave me before havin' to come here or at least will eventually forgive me. I'll know some day."

We all left the ship at the same time and gathered 'round the graves of Wash, Shepherd Book and Mr. Universe. We all stood along side them and looked forward. Four women I recognized as companions, were walking forward as they all held on to a corner of the object that floated between the four of them. Then it became real when they were in front of me. Everyone looked to me. Waiting for me to speak. This day just got rougher and rougher when I stepped to the front of the gathering.

"Today we honor the memories of three of our friends who we lost a year ago. All of them helped us in one way or another to find and reveal the truth. Hoban Washburne, Shepherd Book and the hacker, Mr. Universe. We buried them here on Mr. Universe's moon so that we would always pass by and find them and because the Reavers would never come here. We must always remember why they gave their lives and the great times we shared with them. The wisdom one of them shared with us." Then came the hard part as I choked back my tears. "Unfortunately, on this day, we mourn the loss, of another of our former crew members and someone, we all loved... and called... our dearest friend."
The four companions uncovered the object. It was a coffin that held Inara's body. Everyone present, even Jayne, began to break down when he coffin was moved over the hole I had dug when I first landed here after I had set up her headstone monument . She looked beautiful and at peace. I could almost swear she was smilin' even though she wasn't. They had put her in her favorite red and yellow Kimono. Her hair flowed all around and underneath her. When the companions set Inara's coffin over the hole, I felt someone rub my back. I looked over to see it was Kaylee. I took that as my queue to continue.

"Inara had kept a secret, she was very ill, I didn't even know until the second time she left Serenity. I was told she passed away alone from the illness. She didn't want us burdened with her her final days. We will mourn and we will shed tears but according to these companions, she wanted us to celebrate that we knew her and not mourn for long but to be grateful we knew her. Now we say goodbye to Inara and honor her as we do the other three."

Everyone came up to her glass top coffin to say goodbye and see her one last time. Kaylee came up with me. As luck had it, Kyle was asleep. Kaylee began to cry while tears fell from the corners of my eyes. Both of us apologized to her for our final words. 'specially me. After we all had paid our respects, the companions lowered her coffin into the ground. We filled in the grave and then I activated her profile on the monument in front of the hole. Her digital face appeared. She would look up and smile. Everyone gathered up again. Me, River and Jayne poured a shot of whiskey for everyone to hold. He poured another shot of whiskey for me, himself and River while Kaylee and Zoe got shot glasses fulla water. We all poured a shot of whiskey on the ground in front of the graves and the second shot we all did together.
I looked at her monument and the others and this time said out loud what I said silently a year ago. "Yǒngyuǎn zài wǒmen xīnzhōng, zài jīngshén shàng, yǒngyuǎn shì níngjìng de yībùfèn."

To my surprise, River had remained silent this entire time. She didn't even say nothin' when they brought Inara's body. Once the ceremony was done, Zoe stayed at Wash's grave with Emma while River was layin' somethin' in front of Shepherds grave. I stayed for a bit and felt shame for all the losses. Jayne left to his transport after a brief goodbye.
"I ain't stayin' no longer, Mal. This is too gorram sad. I don't need no more sadness. See ya next year."

When they were leavin', one of the companions handed me a letter from and said it from Inara to me. I opened it and was touched by what it said.

"Mal, if you are reading this then I am no longer here physically because I succumbed to my illness. I want you to know that as hurtful as it was, I forgive you for the things you said the last time I was in your presence. I regret that that had to be our last encounter. I wish it wasn't. I'm so sorry, Mal. Now I am going to tell you something in this letter that I never told you in person and I am so sorry I didn't. I love you, Mal. I always will. I didn't want you to know and suffer even more from the pain of losing me. Which is why I never told you. If you ever cared about me, please, find happiness and don't let it go. If you have it, don't let it go.
Yours always,
Inara"

I put the letter in the pocket of my coat and whispered once again, "Yǒngyuǎn zài wǒmen xīnzhōng, zài jīngshén shàng, yǒngyuǎn shì níngjìng de yībùfèn."

I had so much to think about now. I am a father and a Godfather. I have found very little pleasure in travelin' since Zoe, Inara and Kaylee left but don't wanna part with Serenity. What I have to think about now? Is my future. I was now very uncertain except for one thing. I have a son and I will be a part of his life. No matter what.

As I turned around, I felt someone take my hand and interlace their fingers with mine. I glanced over at Kaylee and she smiled at me. I returned her smile and locked my fingers with hers. She nodded towards Serenity and I nodded to her. We walked to the ship and for the first time today I was at peace. Because I was now with my family. Now, I can really pick up the pieces of my life. Startin' now.

Translation Guide:
Cāo wǒ- Fuck Me!

Duì tā shuō de zuìhòu yījù huà wǒ shì yīgè kěpà de tā mā de rén.- I'm a terrible fucking person for those final words to her

Yǒngyuǎn zài wǒmen xīnzhōng, zài jīngshén shàng, yǒngyuǎn shì níngjìng de yībùfèn- Forever with us in our hearts, in spirit and forever a part of Serenity