There were some things in life that you just inexplicably knew. And though Clarke was in Bellamy's arms, and he could touch her and hold her, he knew that she was still in the Anomaly. At least, that was his strongest guess. It was better than a confirmation of his worst fear: that he'd been so focused on getting them out that he'd forgotten what had put them in there in the first place. Maybe there was something they were supposed to do to save her and he hadn't done enough.

But believing that would require Bellamy giving up on Clarke. So instead of taking a moment to think, he picked her up, just as he had done before, and ran headfirst back into the Anomaly…

… only to find himself walking out the other side. No, not the other side. The same side. The Anomaly had spit him back out. Had he wasted his only chance to save her? He couldn't accept that. So he went in again… and came out again. And Bellamy would keep trying for a long time, but in about an hour he would come to realize that he had to try something else.

Not now, though. For now, he would keep going until his arms were sore and his legs were tired and he felt the age of those extra six years weighing on him. He would keep going until he found his way back to her.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

There were some things in life that you just inexplicably knew. And when Clarke found herself back in Becca's lab, she somehow understood that the barrage of memories was over, that she wouldn't be thrown into another one. Not now that Bellamy was gone. And yet, in the back of her mind, she'd known she would end up here eventually.

Becca's lab, the day of Praimfaya. Not the days she spent dying and alone, not the moment Bellamy left her. Clarke found herself standing where Raven had been standing when they'd arrived. And she watched as her friends came down the stairs. Echo and Emori first, then Harper, grinning at her. Murphy next with a begrudging smile, and Monty with his kind gaze. Raven made her way down the stairs looking so happy to see her that Clarke felt her heart constrict.

The thing was, she would never tell Bellamy this, or any of her friends for that matter, but there had been a moment that day, just for a little while, when Clarke really thought they were going to make it. When she truly believed that she would have five years in space with the people she loved most in the world. With the person she loved most in the world. Where it would be hard, but she'd be protected, and people would take care of her and let her take care of them back. Where she'd be part of a team, a family. Where she'd have peace, even if it was a temporary peace. And just being in the lab, working side by side with her friends, working towards something not for the sake of humanity, but the sake of themselves had been a blessing in and of itself. Before it became the worst day of her life, it had been one of the best.

She looked at them all, standing in a row, all the people she had loved and fought for. Of course, there was one notable absence, but Clarke wasn't worried. As soon as she thought of Bellamy, he appeared, backlit by the tinny artificial lights, but more beautiful than she could have imagined. He looked so much younger, his head full of curls and his jaw clean-shaven. He smiled at her from the top of the stairs. "Welcome home, Princess. We've been waiting for you," he said, and for once, everything in Clarke's world felt right.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Nothing in this new world had ever felt right to Bellamy. On Earth, they'd had their fair share of losses, but it still, at the end of the day, had felt like home. Earth was where he had fallen in love. Earth had been the dream. Sanctum was supposed to be their second chance, but from the moment they got there, he'd never felt more alone. How could that be true when all his friends from the ring were with him?

The answer was simple. He had refused to come to terms with never seeing Clarke Griffin again. On the ring, he'd had to. But not down here. Not when she left him, not when she was stung, and certainly not now. He didn't know how much time had passed since he'd been in the Anomaly. Maybe his friends were long gone. Maybe they were the only two left on Sanctum.

And maybe he'd never find his way out of this forest. But he was going to try. He was so tired. He just wanted to be with her. He wanted the worry to wash away. He wanted them to have a real chance for peace. But he could make this final journey, his one last attempt to save her - only this time, he didn't know what he was saving her from.

Still, with Clarke in his aching arms, he walked the path he vaguely remembered, in the hopes that he could at least make his way to his friends again. Call him a coward, call him weak. Point out the fact that he was crying. The truth was, he hadn't even tried to formulate a plan. The only thing he knew was that he really didn't want to be alone right now.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

The first person to hug her was Harper, and it was more comforting than Clarke would have believed. "I missed you," Clarke whispered in her ear. "I wish I knew you better." Harper just giggled, a soft, joyful sound.

"Clarke, I think you knew me at my best."

Clarke pulled away. "Did I?"

"Who knows? But that's what you remember."

That was true. Everything she remembered about Harper made her one of the best people Clarke had the privilege of meeting. Standing up against Pike, surviving Mount Weather, and maybe most importantly, choosing to live when it would have been so easy to stay behind. That was brave. With an unpleasant shudder, Clarke realized it was braver than she was being right now.

But then Murphy was standing in front of her, in that orange jumpsuit she remembered, and he didn't hug her, but he still looked happy to see her. "Hey, Griffin. Good to see you." And he held out his hand for her to take, a sign of friendship, of solidarity. Clarke remembered the night that Lexa died, when she was locked in that room with Murphy all alone. It was the first time she'd seen him since before Finn had died. She remembered blaming him for that, but they both knew she only blamed him because she was trying so hard not to blame herself.

The first thing Murphy had asked was, "So, how'd Spacewalker get out of that scrape?"

Clarke had taken a sharp breath, trying to shove down her grief. "He didn't."

When Murphy raised his eyebrows, he almost looked amused. But then he looked at the bloodstains on Lexa's bed and at Clarke who was still trying not to cry, and he was almost kind when he said, "Sounds like I've missed a lot. Care to fill me in, Princess?"

"Actually," Clarke had said, "they call me Wanheda now."

So she'd told him about Mount Weather, about everything she'd had to do and everything they'd come close to getting, about leaving her people behind, about running away. And she hadn't understood why he seemed so different until he told her about Emori. Watching Lexa die because of a bullet that was meant for her had almost convinced Clarke that Lexa had been right. That love was weakness. But Murphy changed her mind about that in one night, by showing what one person's love could change. Murphy, who had never been loved or taken care of. He had turned into someone she could be proud of. Distantly, Clarke wished she could tell him that in the real world.

But this felt real. And the Murphy in front of her was solid and vivid and he wasn't sneering at the sight of her. But before she saw it coming, Raven came barrelling into her arms. Maybe that was because Clarke was looking forward to being with the Raven who had greeted her the day of Praimfaya. "I'd still pick you first, you know," Clarke said in her friend's ear. "You're the first person I'd want on any team."

Raven laughed, just as Harper had, and Clarke remained stunned by how lighthearted and happy everyone seemed to be. She didn't think she had ever seen them like this. "Of course you would."

"Have I ever told you that you're probably the best person I know?" Clarke whispered, and Raven just hugged her tighter, telling her that she already knew how Clarke felt.

Even though Raven was the best person Clarke knew, she wasn't her favorite person. And that was who she wanted to hug next. For once, Bellamy's hug was casual, just because he wanted to, not because they both had the overwhelming need for each other's touch, like it usually felt for Clarke. No words were spoken between them until they pulled away, which wasn't for several long moments.

For a while, they just looked at each other. Bellamy was the first to speak. "You know I'm not really him, don't you?" He said this gently, kindly, with his hand still holding hers.

"I know," Clarke said with a soft smile.

"Yeah, and how's that?" Murphy asked, though he asked like he already knew the answer.

There were many reasons. Because your eyes are younger, because of how happy you seem, because just like I could never draw you exactly right, I can't imagine you perfectly either. But she just said the reason that felt the most true. "Because you're not trying to get me to find a way out." In short, because he was okay with her giving up. The real Bellamy would never have let her do this. But this Bellamy was happy she was here, because she was happy to be here. And though the people around her were nothing more than extensions of her memory, they felt real to her.

But there was one of her friends who she hadn't hugged yet, and when she looked over, he had a very familiar expression on his face. Monty Green, always the voice of reason. "Maybe he's not the one trying."

And Clarke knew that staying here was going to be harder than she thought.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

After what felt like hours, but really might have only been minutes, Bellamy found his way to the compound. It seemed like years ago since they'd landed there, since they'd talked about her radio calls and suffered the effects of the eclipse. She was still in his arms, but good god, he missed her. And he wasn't prepared to miss her forever.

The suns were only just rising, but the compound was empty. For a second, he wondered if it was abandoned. The door to the makeshift medical lab stood open. It was strange that he was here again. He had been so sure it was going to work, that he and Clarke would leave the Anomaly and everything would be okay. Now, he just felt numb. No one was in the medical room and the cot was empty. He laid Clarke down gently, letting his fingers stroke her hair, letting his eyes linger on her sleeping form before turning away. His arms immediately felt the relief of the weight he no longer had to carry, but a deeper part of him missed having her so close.

Except, truthfully, it didn't feel like she was really there. It felt like she was somewhere far away.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Clarke wondered what Bellamy, the real Bellamy, was doing now. She knew he must be hurting and she felt sorry for that, but when she was watching the Bellamy of her memories in front of her, so happy, smiling at her so deeply, it was hard to feel the urge to get back to the real one. For all she knew, that Bellamy didn't really exist and this one was real. That was how it felt right now. And Clarke was tired of being tired.

She stood in Becca's lab and watched her friends work. She knew that they weren't going to stop working, she knew that this day would never end, and it certainly would never end with her staying behind. Everything she used to be so worried about felt so far away. Was this what it would have been like if she had made it on the ring?

It was the happiest Clarke had been in a long time. And if Monty kept glancing her way or trying to force a conversation, well. It wasn't too hard to avoid him.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Bellamy was starting to feel despair overwhelm him when no one answered Jackson's door. This was where he and Miller had been staying before… before everything. Bellamy knew that the people of Sanctum were back, and maybe someone else had moved back in, but no one was answering at all. He stood there for a long minute, but then he left - Clarke was all alone, and he knew he couldn't leave her for too long. So he went to the next person he could think of: to Raven.

His voice was failing him, and honestly, so was his strength. Bellamy wondered if it was his time in the Anomaly that made him need a good night's sleep so desperately, or the fact that he had spent all night running pointlessly running towards it. So he wordlessly banged on her door. And waited. He didn't want to say her name, in fear that there would be no answer. It was all he could do to knock.

But within thirty seconds the door swung open, and it wasn't a random Sanctumite, and thirty years didn't seem to have passed, it was just Raven Reyes, looking pretty much the same as he remembered her.

"Bellamy? Oh my god," she said. He knew she wanted to hug him, but six years was long enough to get to know each other, and she must have been able to read something on his face, because she sat back on her heels, a bit wary.

"Where's Jackson?"

"He and Miller are at the hospital. Some Sanctum doctor's showing him the ropes." Then, she asked the question she must have been thinking the moment she saw him. "Where's Clarke?"

Bellamy couldn't answer that question right now. He didn't feel up to answering anything. "She's in the med tent. Can you get Jackson and meet me there?"

"Yeah, of course," Raven said, and Bellamy could see her subtly shifting into her problem-solver mode. He felt better knowing that she was on his side. He'd always been grateful for Raven's help. But as he turned to leave, she grabbed his wrist.

Turned out, he was getting that hug anyway. She threw her arms around his neck and didn't let go until Bellamy hugged her back. "I'm really glad you're okay," she whispered. And then she disappeared into the early morning sunrise, and Bellamy started on the long walk back to Clarke's side.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Bellamy was by her side, absent-mindedly looking over the schematics for the rocket. He was almost lazy about it, and Clarke knew that was because there was no real rush anymore. It was nice to sit in silence with him, without the need to put things right or solve a problem or say goodbye. It was nice to have time. But as her mind drifted, he vocalized what she had been thinking in spite of herself: "Do you think I'm out there feeling abandoned again?"

Clarke blinked, stunned. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you've been thinking it."

She was quiet for a long moment. "My decision to stay here has nothing to do with you, Bellamy."

"Yes, it does, Clarke," he said, not unkindly. "You know it does."

"It was different in here," Clarke blurted out. "It was different when we were in our memories, when everything was like it used to be. But you have a new family now." She bit her lip. "You have Echo."

"I have Echo," he said.

"So things can't be the same again."

"No, they can't."

Clarke looked down, smiling sadly. "You know, when I shut that bunker door, I thought… I guess I thought that you'd never forgive me."

"Then I didn't even last thirty minutes."

Clarke laughed. It felt good to laugh. "If I ever do leave the Anomaly, do you think you'd ever be able to forgive me for staying?"

Bellamy's face was kind and understanding. "Come here," he said, pulling her close. She remembered what it was like when he'd hugged her during Praimfaya, after the radio had cut out. It felt just like it felt now. Like he knew exactly how to comfort her, like her pain was his pain too. "I don't need to forgive you, Clarke," he said when she pulled away. "I want you to stay."

That surprised her. "Why?"

"Because you want to stay," he said, shrugging, reminding her that this memory belonged to her, that this wasn't Bellamy but an expression of the deepest part of her. That it was her heart talking, and her heart wanted her here.
She turned her head towards Monty, who was looking at her expectantly. Like he knew that she would come to him eventually. "He wants me to stay."

Monty nodded. "Everyone does."

If Clarke was really staying here, then it was time to confront why. "So why don't you?"

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Within five minutes, Bellamy and Clarke were no longer alone. Jackson was the first to arrive, Miller and Raven trailing in behind him. And somehow, Murphy had managed to join the group. It was just Skaikru, or the last lingering traces of it. He barely registered Elysia slipping inside, unnoticed, allowing the group their moments of quiet grief and worry. Their faces were solemn and concerned as they stood around Clarke who was lying in the same position as they'd last seen her. "What happened?" Raven said, in a quiet voice. "What happened in there?"

Bellamy remembered everything with vivid detail, but somehow, he knew that he couldn't tell them. That somehow, it was supposed to be a secret. This sacred adventure he'd taken with Clarke would stay there in the Anomaly, and would exist between them and them alone. "I don't know," he said to Raven. "I don't know how to explain it."

"I don't understand," Miller said. "Why didn't that work?"

"Maybe it did," Jackson said, and maybe he only said it because he knew that Bellamy needed hope, but it worked. "How long has she been out?"

Bellamy shrugged. "All night."

"I'll need to run some tests. But her pulse is much stronger than it was." Jackson's gaze lingered on Bellamy a moment. "I think I should check you out, too."

Bellamy was shaking his head, about to say that Clarke was the priority, that he knew he'd at least make it through the night. But Elysia stepped out from the shadows and said, "Focus on Clarke. I can examine Bellamy."

Jackson nodded and got to work. Elysia led him to the corner of the room, placing him in a chair pointed away from Clarke so he couldn't see her. Even though he felt a duty to remain by her side until the end, he felt silently grateful for the momentary reprieve. "You're a doctor?" Bellamy asked, surprised by how hoarse his voice sounded. It felt strange, almost absurd, to make small talk right now. But he felt different from before the Anomaly. When Clarke was dying then, he felt the need to fight, to talk to her, to let her know that he wasn't giving up. But he was tired of fighting. He felt numb. He felt exhausted.

"I'm training to be a healer, yes," Elysia said as she took his pulse. "Clarke told me she was a healer too."

Bellamy nodded, a faint smile growing on his face. "She still is." He was quiet for a long moment. "I used to exaggerate little injuries just for an excuse to come to her tent and get her to check me out. She was always so annoyed with me when I got hurt. She got this crinkle right between her eyes." He laughed a little, in spite of himself. "But she was always so gentle. That was why I did it."

Elysia listened with a plaintive expression. Then she said, "I wish I knew what transpired in the Anomaly. I'm not one of your people, but I'm not a fool either. I know when someone knows more than they're telling." Bellamy said nothing. He was endlessly grateful for Elysia's help, but he wasn't sorry for keeping this secret. "But there will be time for questions later. Have faith in your friend, Bellamy. I don't believe it's as hopeless as you feel it is. And when Clarke wakes up, you can tell her that you have a clean bill of health."

Bellamy didn't feel particularly healthy. "I do?"

Elysia's smile was kind. "The only diagnosis I can give you is exhaustion. I'd like you to rest, but I think we both know sleep will not come so easily." Bellamy shook his head, agreeing. "I want you to leave this room. Perhaps a stroll by the pond would help rejuvenate you."

He chose not to tell her the bad memories that pond held for him. "I can't. I can't just leave her."

"She won't be alone, Bellamy. You've done all you can to help her. The only way to help her now is to help yourself. Take a walk. Doctor's orders. As soon as Jackson finishes with his tests, we'll come find you."

Bellamy sighed, resigned. A walk did sound nice. Time to clear his head, to think of everything that he had just been through. It was a lot to take in and Bellamy hadn't had time to process any of it. So he headed for the door, but before leaving, he looked back at Elysia. "Thank you," he said, "for being there for her when we weren't."

Elysia smiled again, but her eyes were sad and Bellamy got his first glimpse at her own humble grief. "It wasn't hard. Clarke is an easy person to love."

Bellamy smiled back at her, thinking that wasn't strictly true. Thinking that it wasn't easy to love Clarke. It was hard not to.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

He was surprised to find the pond a peaceful place to be. He tried to let his mind go blank, and it was almost working. Bellamy took a deep breath, and the air was fresh and sweet. There was no stench of blood invading, and there was no threat looming. It was just a quiet morning. Still, Bellamy didn't start when he heard a voice behind him. He didn't turn either.

"Hey, man." It was Miller. Out of the corner of his eye, Bellamy saw him settle into place next to him. That took him back, all the way back to the dropship days when Miller was his right hand man. "So you've been gone for a week. We haven't woken up Madi yet. We thought we'd give it at least a little longer, just in case."

Bellamy stayed silent, content just to look out over the water and listen.

"And Abby went back into cryo. She didn't trust herself not to relapse. She wanted to wait until Clarke came out or a month went by." Then, Miller cleared his throat. "But Jackson and I, we moved into a little room next to the hospital. They've been showing him the ropes. I think he and the Sanctum doctors have been learning a lot from each other. Echo's moved in with Raven and Elysia. Raven was the only one who didn't have to change rooms." Miller laughed a little bit, very softly. "Elysia wanted a roommate, I guess. And of course, everyone thinks Raven is Einstein reincarnated so she's been down in the lab. I think she's showing them the ropes, to be honest."

That earned a laugh from Bellamy. Miller looked heartened, so he kept going. "Murphy and Emori are still going strong, but you knew that. Emori's started involving herself in the decisions more. I think leadership suits her well. And Murphy just follows her around like a sullen puppy. And your sister…" Miller trailed off and Bellamy sucked in a breath, steeling himself to find out what she'd been doing. "Well, someone had to watch over the people still in cryo."

And they trusted Octavia? Bellamy was trying his best not to be wary, trying to remember the time when he'd trusted Octavia over anyone.

"She's not alone, if that's what you're worried about. Kane is with her. So is Indra. And I think… I think they're working through a lot of things. I think it's been good for her." There was a long silence as Bellamy absorbed that and the relief that came with it. Miller turned to face him. "I just thought you might want to know that everyone's going to be okay. And you don't have to worry about us."

Bellamy felt stunned for a moment. Was this what peace looked like? Real peace. Not just seven people living alone in space. This was how it felt? He was buried under worry for Clarke, but underneath all that pain, he felt a spark of joy too. Maybe even a spark of hope.

"Can I cut in?" He heard Raven's voice behind him, and he almost laughed again. So it was going to be a parade of his friends coming to comfort him. He was surprised to find that he didn't really mind. He couldn't look at Miller, but he could look at Raven. Miller hadn't been on the ring, but Raven had. And she had seen Bellamy at his absolute worst.

"You know, when I opened my door this morning, I almost didn't recognize you without the beard."

Bellamy chuckled a little, touching his fingers to his jawline absent-mindedly.

"It's been years since I've seen you look like this. But nothing's changed since then," she said, and her voice was a tearful whisper. "I'm still with you. And we will get through this."

And because it was Raven, and because he knew that Raven understood, maybe more than anyone, he let the tears show through in his own voice too. "What if she doesn't make it?"

Raven looked down. She wasn't going to lie to him and pretend that everything would be okay. It might not be okay. "It'll hurt. Like when Finn died. And Shaw." When she said Shaw's name, a tear slid down her cheek. "And it might hurt more for you than it did the first time. But we will get through it." And though she sounded so sad, her voice was firm.

"But how - how do I - If she doesn't make it, I don't…" Bellamy couldn't imagine it ever getting easier. He couldn't imagine living without Clarke would ever come naturally to him.

"You didn't think you'd get through it the first time. But you did. And you know how you did? Not alone."

Bellamy nodded, preparing himself to head down that dark and difficult path again when a third voice came up behind him. "What's got you guys so down?"

Raven shot him a glare. "Read the room, Murphy."

"I am. I'm reading the room I just came from," he said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. "Jackson sent me."

Bellamy's stomach dropped. He readied himself to hear the worst. But Murphy's face was relaxed.

"He says all systems go."

Bellamy shook his head, trying to understand. "What do you mean?"

"There's nothing wrong with her. No trace of Hexian venom left."

"So why isn't she waking up?" Raven asked, confused.

Murphy was quiet, looking at Bellamy almost suspiciously. "He'd know that better than any of us. He's the only one who knows what happened in there."

Bellamy didn't take the bait. "Let's head back in."

Murphy shook his head. "The only one going back is you, if you want to."

"Of course I want to. But why aren't you going?"

Murphy sighed. "We're going to wake up Madi. You gonna stop us again?"

"No," Bellamy said. This was the right thing to do and he knew it. "But when you bring her back… I want everyone in that room with her. No matter what happens, I want Madi to know that she doesn't have to go through this alone. That she still has a family. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm not doing it for you," Murphy said, but he said it kindly. "I'm doing it for Clarke."

Bellamy smiled, but he knew it wasn't reaching his eyes. "Does that mean you forgive her?"

Raven and Murphy shared a glance. "It means one cockroach can respect another." Then he clapped a hand to Bellamy's shoulder. "Clarke is going to be fine. Haven't you realized that by now?"

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Clarke hadn't had time to talk to the real Monty the day of Praimfaya. And truth be told, she hadn't really had time to talk to him after Praimfaya either. She never would have guessed that she would lose him. And now… Now all that was left was his memory, his voice in her head. And it was the only voice that was telling her what she didn't want to hear right now, so she owed it to him to listen.

Clarke had asked Monty why he didn't want her to stay, but she knew. If Bellamy was her heart, then it made sense he wanted her to stay. Because that was exactly what her heart was telling her to do. But if Bellamy had always been her heart, Monty had always been her conscience. It was why he'd cautioned against killing Cooper, it was why he'd spoken out against the list. And it was also why he'd helped irradiate Mount Weather. Why he had never judged her for it. Never judged her for leaving either. Because in some way, that was different from everybody else, Monty understood.

He was never scared to tell her when he thought she was doing the wrong thing. And he was never angry with Clarke just because he was in pain. Mount Weather must have haunted him too and he didn't get the luxury of leaving. But when he saw her again, he wrapped her in a tight hug and said that he was glad she was back. Monty was never afraid to tell Clarke the truth.

And if Clarke's memory didn't reflect that, then it wouldn't be reflecting the thing she loved most about him. The reason he didn't want her to stay here with him was because it was not the right thing to do and she knew it. So he didn't answer her question as they sat together on the steps leading up to the rocket, where Clarke had watched Bellamy comfort Raven when they'd been sure that they were doomed.

Instead, Monty countered her question with one of his own. "Why did you run?"

There was a lot Clarke could say to that question. I thought it was the right thing to do, I thought everyone would be better off without me, I was scared that if I stayed we'd all end up hurting each other, but she just settled for the truth. "Because it was too hard." Monty's hand found Clarke's and squeezed, giving her strength to keep talking. "When I left, I still wasn't happy. But I'm happy here." What she didn't say was, I'm happy here with you, surrounded by all my friends, all the ones I've loved and lost. But she didn't have to say it. He knew. Of course he knew that was why.

Monty's eyes were gentle and kind, just like they were in real life. More than anything, she wished this was the real him. "When have you ever been one to take the easy way out?" Clarke drew in a sharp breath. "The Clarke I knew didn't give up."

She pulled her hand away. "The Clarke you knew is gone," she said, angry and tearful. "She's been gone for years now."

"Then why are you living in her memories? Why are you wearing her clothes?" She didn't have a good answer for that and he knew it. "This Clarke, the Clarke you're pretending to be, could have given up when she got the dish aligned. She could have stopped running after her helmet broke. But you didn't."

Clarke watched as a tear dripped off the bridge of her nose and splashed onto her wrist. She didn't bother to wipe it away.

"You outran the death wave. You didn't do that to save anyone, or because it was the right thing to do. God knows you didn't do it because it was easy. You did it because you wanted to live."

"Monty…"

"You can lie to yourself all you want, but I think that person's still inside you."

The tears threatened to overwhelm her, so she swallowed them down and said, "But you won't be there."

Monty shook his head. "No, I won't. But I'm not really here either."

She opened her mouth to say something, without knowing what it was she was planning on saying, when there was a crackle coming from halfway across the room. Coming from the radio. The one she had used when she thought she was dying and the one she hadn't let go of for six years. She looked at Monty, eyes wide. "Who is that?"

But the voice coming from the radio was a very familiar one. And really, Clarke should have known. "Clarke? I don't know if you can hear me. It's been one day since I left the Anomaly."

But it wasn't Monty's face she searched for when she turned around but Bellamy's, with an expression of wonder and awe. "It's me," he said. "Calling you back."

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Bellamy wasn't sure what he was doing. He was just killing time before the others arrived with Madi, but… He hadn't tried talking to Clarke yet. He was almost frightened to. But he wondered if maybe it would make him feel better and he was surprised when, as soon as the first words came out of his mouth, he felt closer to her, like she could hear him.

Her hand was soft in his, but it wasn't cold. It was warm. She didn't look like she was dying, she looked like she was sleeping. So he kept talking. "If time passed like it did in the real world, then it's been six years since we were on that beach. But for me, it's only been hours and I miss you already." He closed his eyes for a moment. Just saying that he missed her made him miss her more. "I keep wondering if there was something I was supposed to do to save you, something I missed." He could almost hear Clarke's objections, telling him it wasn't his fault. She wasn't here to say it, so he would say it for her. "But talking like that does neither of us any good. Anyways, I still have hope. Because you're still breathing. It'd be nice if you could stay that way."

He couldn't bring himself to laugh at his half-hearted joke. He liked to think that she would have laughed, though.

"I wish you'd open your eyes. I wish… I wish for so many things, but you already know what they all are. It's just you and me in here. Everyone else has gone to get Madi. To get your daughter… Clarke, I want you to stay with us more than I've ever wanted anything." His voice started to grow strained and he felt his eyes stinging with tears. "But I know that it might not be up to you. So if you need peace, I'll give that to you. I'll take care of our people. I'll protect Madi, I promise. And this time, I'll keep that promise. We'll never get over you, and I'll never let you go. But we'll be okay."

His voice broke on the last word, and even though he knew it was true, it felt like a lie. He couldn't fathom ever being okay in a world without Clarke. But he took a few deep breaths and pulled himself together. "But if it is up to you, Clarke… Remember what I said to you on the beach. I said there were things I wanted to say to you. Don't you want to hear them?" He paused, a strange, small smile flickering and dying on his face. "But then I guess there's nothing I can say to you that you don't already know. Come home, Clarke. Please."

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Clarke waited a moment on bated breath for Bellamy to say something else. She felt glued to the spot she was standing on. But when the radio stopped crackling and the line went silent, she rushed over, placing her thumb over the call button, a movement that was so familiar to her, she could do it in her sleep. "Bellamy, I can hear you," she said frantically. But there was no response. "Bellamy, I can hear you, come in."

There was a hand on her shoulder. "There's only one way to respond." It was Monty. With a shaking hand, Clarke set the radio down, looking over her shoulder. Behind Monty was Bellamy, and Clarke was hit with the briefest flash of disappointment. Because this wasn't the Bellamy who had called her on the radio. This was the Bellamy she had created because she was scared the real Bellamy wouldn't love her enough to make her want to live in the real world.

"You're smiling," she said to him, almost confused.

"You're happy to hear from me." But his eyes… Well, she knew why his eyes were sad. Because she'd made her decision. "We'll miss you."

"You're not even real."

"Screw that, we'll miss you anyway," Bellamy said, and Clarke allowed herself to laugh. Would things ever be this easy again?

But there they all were, all her friends, standing in a line, looking at her with love and understanding. They had done that once before, in the real world. Maybe they'd be able to do it again, even if it took years. Even if it took all her life. She went to Murphy first. "You were the only one to help me."

Murphy smirked. "Never saw that one coming."

"When I see you again, I'll have to find a way to thank you."

He shrugged. "Maybe you can start by telling me that you were the one who convinced Bellamy to give me a second chance all those years ago." Clarke remembered that. She was glad she did. And though she might not have trusted Murphy back then, she was sure she trusted him now.

Monty and Harper were next. There was no judgment in Monty's eyes anymore. He had changed her mind. Of course he had. He was probably the only person in the room who could have done it, real or not. She wrapped her arms tightly around both of them, holding on for a long, long time. Because they were the only ones who she would never see again. They might have only been products of her memory, but they felt real, and she could touch them and talk to them. She would never be able to do that again. It felt like losing them a second time. "I wish I could have told you how much I loved you," she whispered in their ear. They squeezed her tighter.

"We knew, Clarke."

She didn't know if she believed that, but she just said, "I really hope that's true."

The most difficult goodbye was next. Raven. Their friendship had never been an easy one, but it had always mattered more to her than practically any other. Raven was one of the best people Clarke knew. She always would be. And she had been at Clarke's side through some of the hardest decisions Clarke had ever had to make. Even after Finn died, even after she had left, Raven was there. Clarke bit her lip. "Do you think we can ever be friends again?"

In typical Raven honesty, she said, "I don't know. But I'd like to have the rest of our lives to find out, wouldn't you?"

Clarke nodded. There was nothing more to say. She couldn't heal her old wounds here. And though she was scared, she looked forward to looking Raven, the real Raven, in the eye and trying her best. That was all she could do, her best. "So," she said, shaking off any last traces of emotion. "How do I get out of here?"

Raven smiled, like she was happy Clarke asked her. Then she jerked her head up, making Clarke look behind her. The rocket's lights were on now, but they weren't white. They were green. "You get to go this time."

Clarke took a few slow steps towards the rocket, willing herself to believe it, but she turned around when she realized nobody was following her. "Alone?" she asked.

Harper nodded, her eyes watering. "Yeah," she whispered.

"We're gone too," Raven said. "You have to let us go now."

Clarke knew that just as staying behind had been one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, getting on this rocket would be too. She tucked her helmet under her arm and placed her foot on the first step. Then the second.

And then she turned around. Bellamy was ready for her next step.

She all but ran towards him, but this time, she didn't throw herself into his arms. She did what she'd wanted to do for a very, very long time and she kissed him. It was everything she imagined it would be, which only made Clarke wonder what it would be like in the real world. His lips were soft and his hands were rough as they tangled themselves in her hair. And even as she kissed him, she wished she was kissing him, she wished she could be closer and closer and closer, she wished that this never had to end. But she was still the one to pull away.

"I love you," she said. But this time she wasn't saying it as a goodbye. Because he was out there, waiting for her. She knew that now. She didn't let go of his hand until the very last moment, until she was inside the rocket and shutting the door.

She saw him through the window, looking proud. When Bellamy had gotten on this rocket, he had been forced to look at the empty room. But Clarke had the privilege of seeing everyone she was leaving behind, and because of that, she wondered if maybe that meant she was able to take them with her.

There were buttons to press and levers to pull, but Clarke knew that she'd be able to find the right ones. And as the rocket took off, she finally came to the conclusion that had been waiting for her since the minute she set foot into the Anomaly, maybe since she set foot on Sanctum. Maybe since she had woken up in Becca's lab just to find herself all alone.

Her friends might never love her again. And maybe she would always be alone. Maybe the world was a cruel and lonely place, but good god, she wanted to be in it.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Bellamy felt better by the time everyone returned, but his heart was still in his throat at the thought of seeing Madi again. Of telling her that he'd failed. He'd failed at protecting her and he'd failed at protecting her mother. Murphy walked through the door, followed by Raven, Jackson, Miller and then finally, Madi. "How much did you tell her?" Bellamy said, directing his question towards Murphy.

But Madi was the one who answered. "Everything," she said. Her eyes were red and scared, but there was still something inside her that made her seem older. Bellamy didn't feel like leaving Clarke's side, but he didn't hesitate before going over and wrapping his arms around Madi. "Is she gonna be okay?"

"I can't tell you that. But you will not be alone."

"Yes I will. Without Clarke, I -"

Her voice was a sob when Bellamy cut her off. "Do me a favor. Look around you." Reluctantly, Madi pulled away, looking at everyone's faces. They were all looking right back at her. "We are all here for you. None of us will let you do this alone. Madi, I know what it was like in the valley."

She looked skeptical, and Bellamy knew there was nothing he could do to convince her that he knew, but he understood what she'd been through in a way he never had before.

"You will never be alone again." Madi nodded. He was about to give her a moment of privacy, herd everyone out of the room so that she could have a moment alone with Clarke. But when he looked back towards the girl on the cot, he saw Jackson standing over her, frowning. "What?" Bellamy said, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice for Madi's sake and failing. "What is it?"

"Her heart's racing," Jackson said, taking her pulse.

"Why? What happened?"

For once, Jackson looked completely bewildered. "I don't know. I don't know what caused it." And by the look on his face, Bellamy could tell that meant he didn't know what to do.

You can prepare yourself for something, you can even think you've lived through it already, but when it happens, when you're face to face with your biggest fear, you have no idea how you'll react. For Bellamy, he wasn't angry. He wasn't crying. He was confused.

This didn't make sense. Clarke didn't get to die. Anyone else but Clarke, that was the deal. That had always been the deal. Bellamy distantly registered Madi's frantic questions, Jackson's plea for more room and his hands hovering over Clarke like they wanted so badly to help but couldn't.

And then a strange feeling came over Bellamy. For a moment, he couldn't help but wonder what they were all so worried about. It wasn't a hope, it wasn't a conviction, it wasn't even a belief. It was a fact. Because there were some things in life you just inexplicably knew.

So as Bellamy made his way to Clarke's side, taking her hand in his, he knew that she was on her way back to him.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

When the first thing Clarke was able to register was Bellamy's hand in hers, she knew she made the right decision. But she was surprised when she opened her eyes and saw six faces looming over her instead of just the one she was prepared for. Raven, Murphy, Miller, Jackson, Bellamy, and Madi. For a moment, Clarke felt the distant urge to say "I told you so," but that urge was overwhelmed by the relief at seeing them safe and unharmed. It was one thing for Bellamy to tell her that her plan worked, and another to know that they were safe because of her.

She looked towards Bellamy, and she knew there was a lot she still had to make clear between them. But her vision was quickly obscured by a brown head of hair hurtling her way, pulling Bellamy's hand from hers. Clarke felt the fleeting desire to reach for it again, but when she realized who was hugging her, she started crying with joy.

For the first time in nearly six years, Clarke had been without Madi, forced only to focus on and take care of herself. And while she had needed that, it was a relief and a pleasure to hold her daughter in her arms again. Clarke didn't know who she would be without Madi. And everyone was kind enough to let them have their moment as they both cried. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I'm okay," Clarke said, in a hushed voice.

"I'm the commander, I would have -"

"Everything's alright," she said, stroking Madi's hair. After several long moments, Madi pulled away. Bellamy was no longer at her side, but before Clarke could wonder about that, she caught Raven's eye.

"Dying would have been a shitty way to make me forgive you," Raven said, and only by knowing her friend so well could Clarke tell she was trying valiantly to hold her emotions back.

"Does that mean you have?" she asked, her voice small and vulnerable. She and Raven had a lot of history. And Raven had hurt her badly. But Clarke knew that when she sided with McCreary, she made it clear Raven was no longer a part of her family anymore, just like Bellamy had when he'd put the chip in Madi's head. It had taken Clarke time to forgive him. And she understood that Raven would need time to forgive her.

"I'm really glad you're not dead. How about we start there?"

Clarke laughed a little, dropping her head back on the cot. "Sounds good."

Raven's eyes turned expectantly to Murphy's at the same time Clarke's did, and he lifted his arms up in surrender. "Why are you looking at me? I'm the only one who didn't screw you over. I get to keep my grudge."

Raven rolled her eyes, and Clarke felt touched by being included in this fond, domestic moment. "I guess that's fair."

"Don't worry, Clarke. I knew you'd pull through, so I've been working on a list of ways you can make it up to me ever since you left the Anomaly."

"Well, I'd like to see it," she said, and though she was pleased that things were easy for once, she was distracted too. She scanned the spaces over their shoulders looking for Bellamy. She spotted him by the door, looking back at her. He nodded, trying to convey an understanding that Clarke instantly got. He was letting her have a moment with her people. Then he disappeared into the Sanctum sunshine.

"Okay," Jackson said, smiling. "Everyone out. I need to run some tests."

Clarke leaned her head back, closing her eyes as four voices protested. When she opened them, there were still five faces in the room, even if four of them had backed up a couple of feet. The message was clear: they weren't going anywhere.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

It was only fifteen minutes later that Jackson gave Clarke a clean bill of health. And she was glad to see her friends, but they understood as well as she did that she had to see Bellamy and she had to be alone. She found him by the pond. Almost instinctively, she reached towards her neck. The bruises faded, but the memory probably never would. Clarke thought that maybe that was alright. After all, it didn't hurt in the same way now. It barely even hurt at all.

As soon as Bellamy caught sight of her, Clarke knew that things really were different. She felt no fear, no trepidation, no insecurity. He looked happy to see her and Clarke was able to believe that he really was. The first thing he did was wrap her in his arms. He didn't have to say anything. Neither did she. He waited until they pulled away to ask the question she was dreading to answer.

"What the hell went wrong?"

"I was scared to leave. Scared that things wouldn't be the same. Or scared that they would."

She saw a flash of anger on his face. "I thought - I thought that I had done something wrong."

"I know," Clarke said, "I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you that you weren't part of the reason I stayed. But you were." Then she took his hand in hers. "But you were also the reason I left."

Bellamy was quiet for a moment, and Clarke wondered if he was going to be angry with her. He seemed to be wondering the same thing. But instead, he just said, "I'm really glad you did."

"So what now?"

"Well, I think they're out of beds in Sanctum. So I was thinking… I'm gonna head back to the dropship." Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, confused, so Bellamy elaborated. "Octavia is there. I thought the person I was before Praimfaya was long since gone, but then the Anomaly… I have to hope that my sister is still in there somewhere. But if she's ever gonna make it out, she can't do it alone."

Clarke was hit with a wave of deja vu. He had to go and look after his sister. And she would stay here in Sanctum, with Madi. At least this time she knew that she would see him again. "I understand," she said.

But then, Bellamy looked at her with his soft and tender gaze, the kind that he reserved for her and her alone and said, "Do you want to come with me?" and Clarke realized that maybe she hadn't understood at all.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Of course, the first thing they did when they got to the dropship was sleep. And if Kane walked in, surprised to find them curled together on a makeshift couch, he was tactful enough not to mention it when they woke. Bellamy had a long conversation with Octavia, letting her know that he was there for her, but they couldn't ever go back to before, and that had to be okay.

Surprisingly enough, Kane and Indra seemed to have been helping a lot. And it wasn't an easy conversation and it didn't go exactly smoothly, but it was a start. Bellamy was stunned to realize that when Kane said they'd have time to work things out, that was really true.

Clarke got to wake up her mother from cryo. There were lots of tears and promises and thank yous exchanged, but Bellamy let them have that moment alone. He was starting to feel okay about letting Clarke out of his sight. He was starting to realize that the threats, the ones they'd been running from practically all their lives, were gone now.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

On the day they woke Diyoza from cryo, Octavia was the one to greet her. "Do you really think that's a good idea?" Bellamy asked Kane.

Kane nodded, saying, "It's easy to learn to work with people who want to help you. But if Octavia can learn to work with her enemies, then that will mean that we have done good by her, Bellamy. That our hope was not for nothing. You cannot have growth without trust."

So Bellamy was surprised when, a month later, Octavia was right alongside Abby as she helped deliver Hope. But he shouldn't have been surprised by how much she seemed to love that kid. She was a Blake. It was in her blood.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Clarke was doing better than she'd expected since leaving the Anomaly, but she wondered where Bellamy went everyday. He'd disappear for two hours after lunch, telling her he was just popping back to Sanctum to visit, which was strange since they already did that most nights. She always offered to go with him, but he'd always say, "Stay here. I'll be back soon."

Madi had come to the dropship to stay with them, though the remnants of the Grounders wanted her with them. By the time she came to Clarke and asked her to take the chip out, it wasn't a surprise like it would have been months ago.

"I wanted to stay the commander because I thought my people needed it. But if they don't need it… I want to go to school. I want to talk to other kids my age."

And, side by side with Gaia, they took out the flame and a weight Clarke hadn't realized she was still carrying around with her had lifted. So, staying with Madi and her mother in the dropship, helping care for Hope and tentatively befriending Octavia again, wasn't a bad way to spend her time. If it weren't for those two hours a day Bellamy spent doing something he didn't want to tell her about, Clarke's mind would have been completely at peace.

But. She decided to wait, just a little while longer, before confronting him about it. Everything with them was good, better than it had ever been, even if what she'd thought might happen after she left the Anomaly hadn't yet. She had the suspicion that he was going to see Echo and that he didn't want to hurt her. If that was the truth, it would have been silly to hide it from her. Clarke understood that things couldn't go back to how they were before. She was thankful for the extra time the Anomaly had granted them, but she had no expectations. And after a while, she let go of her hopes too.

Instead, Clarke focused her attention on healing old wounds. Murphy's was the easiest. She kept getting thrown back to that night in Polis, when he was there for her at her darkest moment. And Clarke knew that though their relationship had always been a rocky one at best, there were bonds that didn't just go away. They'd get a drink together night after night, and eventually the bitter conversations turned into story-telling sessions and the shy smiles turned into outright laughter. By the time Clarke told him that she was glad she'd persuaded Bellamy to give Murphy a second chance, he was able to tell her how that had saved his life, even if it had taken him a while to realize it.

Raven was different. The first night Clarke was back in Sanctum, Raven just seemed happy that her friend was alive, and Clarke had almost fooled herself into thinking that bygones could just be bygones. When she touched a sore spot with Murphy, it tended to result in some level of understanding. But the moment Clarke mentioned Diyoza and the baby to Raven, though it was only the second or third time they had been alone together, something in Raven tightened.

The tension didn't go away after that, but it did loosen ever-so-slightly. Clarke said she was sorry and knew that there was nothing more she could say. She said that Raven was one of the only people left alive that she loved fiercely. She said that it broke her heart when Raven didn't help her the night she tried to get everyone to leave, but she couldn't find it within herself to be angry about it. And then Raven stayed upset and Clarke found it within herself.

That was a nasty day, when they trotted out the long list of everything they'd done to let the other down, things Clarke hadn't even realized she still held onto. And then, the next night, Raven joined Clarke and Murphy for a drink. And Clarke knew that things had taken a turn for the better. Within a month, she and Clarke were as tight as they'd been before the Ark came down. Tighter now that Finn wasn't there to come between them.

So that just left Bellamy, who still disappeared every day, who still hadn't said what he'd wanted to say. Was there a wound left unhealed that Clarke didn't know about? Or was it Echo, who had made it a point to be welcoming to her, if not friendly? But she was tired of pretending like nothing was wrong, so after almost two months of this, she followed him. She wasn't exactly proud of what she was doing, but if he was with Echo, she would hope that he didn't think Clarke too fragile to know.

She stayed a decent distance behind Bellamy, making sure she was out of sight. But as the part of Sanctum they were entering grew more and more secluded, she was worried about keeping her cover. Still, Clarke was surprised by how disappointed she was when she saw Echo greet him. She had prepared herself for this. So why did it hurt so much more than she'd thought it would? Perhaps Bellamy had been right to protect her from this truth.

"Ready to get to work?" Clarke heard Echo say.

Bellamy's voice was light and happy when he said "Of course."

And naturally, that was the moment Clarke's foot decided to land on a notably noisy twig. Bellamy and Echo's instincts were too well-trained not to notice. Their heads whipped around, looking alarmed and prepared for battle. Since the jig was clearly up, Clarke decided not to embarrass herself more than was strictly necessary and surrender.

"Clarke?" Bellamy asked, sounding relieved and confused and happy at the same time. He crossed the distance between them and settled into place in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

"I spent months trying not to ask you the same thing." She lowered her voice, doing her best not to look at Echo behind him, waiting patiently. "You didn't have to hide this from me."

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

Clarke laughed meanly and then shook her head, bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

Bellamy narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Echo. I figured you were still together, you didn't have to - Look, Bellamy. I have no expectations about -"

"What if I do?"

Clarke blinked, stunned. "What if you what?"

"What if I have expectations?" he asked, as if it was simple. You sure haven't given me reason to believe that you do, Clarke wanted to say, but she was starting to think she'd rather hear him out. "Since you couldn't wait one more week for the surprise to be ready, why don't you follow me?"

He turned before she could agree or disagree, leaving her no choice. It wasn't until later that she realized he was nervous. But when they rounded the corner and she saw what he'd been hiding from her, everything became startlingly clear.

"I thought that maybe you were starting to get tired of sleeping in the dropship. And that it might be nice to have a place of our own, so I asked Echo to help me."

Clarke had only ever been able to dream of a house like this. It felt like she was on Earth before the bombs. She had so many questions. Where did he find these bricks? How did he know how to build a chimney? Who had helped him and how had he hidden this from her for this long? But she was too shocked to say anything, so Bellamy continued with his nervous speech.

"Everyone else has found somewhere to stay. And I wondered if maybe you and Madi would like to move in here. With me," he concluded awkwardly, but Clarke still couldn't find words to express how a gift like this made her feel. "Or it could be just you and Madi if you don't - that is, if you're not -"

"Bellamy," Clarke said softly, but it was enough to shut him up. "You built me a house?"

He nodded. "I built you a house."

And without thinking about the consequences, without calculating the risk she was taking, without wondering who besides her and Bellamy this could possibly affect, Clarke threw her arms around her best friend in the whole fucking world and kissed him.

She was right. It was different than it had been in the Anomaly. He was surprised, so he took a moment to respond, but when he did, it was with more enthusiasm than she would have predicted. His cheeks were rough with slight stubble, and his hands were cold as the Sanctum air. And it wasn't as perfect as the kiss in the Anomaly. It was better, because it was real.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

A week later, Clarke and Madi moved into their new home. Perhaps Bellamy had been a bit presumptuous by only asking for two beds, but it turned out that no, he wasn't being presumptuous at all. He could tell by the way she smiled that he had guessed right on all fronts. He had been waiting for her to make the first move. He didn't want to scare her, and he wanted to give her time. Everyone had a lot to say to each other. Bellamy wanted him to be a solid foundation to fall back on when things were hard, and if they confronted what they meant to each other, then that would be another thing left unresolved while she was trying so hard to make amends.

So it had to be on Clarke's own terms. Of course, now that she had finally given an answer to his long-unanswered question, it was like he couldn't stop kissing her. He started to wonder how they had managed to waste so much time ever doing anything else. But he knew that the time they'd spent talking to each other, learning everything about each other, and loving each other in painful silence was the reason that it was so sweet to finally have each other, and to be able to say it out loud.

And on the night Bellamy finally told her what he had wanted to say on that beach in the Anomaly, or in front of the rover on the last good day before Praimfaya, there was no war to fight in the morning, and neither of them had even the slightest fear of waking up alone. They said it because the moon was full and the air was crisp and cold and lovely, and their friends were shining and laughing and simply because it was true. Because it had always been true.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

There was a long time in Clarke's life where she thought that there would only ever be one horrible story she would be able to tell. But the night that Bellamy told her what he wanted to tell her, she realized that another story was beginning.

That was funny. She never thought she'd get another story.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

That wasn't to say it was easy from there. They still had nightmares, and they still had problems. Bellamy joined the hunting party and came back injured far too often for Clarke's liking. He still didn't want anyone to look after him except for her, so they spent a lot of time in the kitchen patching him up.

Then there was that one day when Clarke fell down in the woods, slicing open on a rock the same leg that Madi had sloppily stitched up when she was seven.

But this time, though Bellamy's heart was still pounding and he still felt somehow frantic with worry, she wasn't alone. She didn't have to talk anyone through healing her. She didn't have to stop herself from closing her eyes. And there was Jackson and Abby, two people she loved, to help mend her wound. When she woke up, Bellamy's hand was in hers and he was asleep at her side.

But it wasn't because he worried, and it wasn't because the prognosis was bad. It was simply because when someone you love is hurt, you are there to hold their hand. Bellamy didn't have to hide that he loved Clarke anymore. Though, if he was being honest, he'd never done the best job at hiding it in the first place.

They even got used to the eclipses. When a year had passed and the Hexians were due to arrive, Clarke volunteered to stay back and see if she really had eliminated that threat. If maybe they didn't have to evacuate Sanctum every year anymore. Of course, Bellamy wouldn't let her do it alone. And neither would Elysia, who had become just as much a part of their group as anyone had ever been. In fact, it seemed like Jordan had taken a liking to her. Clarke thought Monty would be really happy if he could see them together.

Elysia, with her eclipse immunity, did the same for Clarke as she had when they first met. Clarke wasn't frightened this time. And she wasn't tied up either. She and Bellamy took the sedative together and woke up feeling angry and sad, but clean of bruises or stab wounds, so Clarke would say that was a definite improvement on last year. And she knew how scared Bellamy was to see the Hexians again, scared of what could happen, and scared of the memories it would trigger. She knew that most of his nightmares were about losing her, just as most of hers were about losing him.

But they had nothing to be afraid of. The Hexians never emerged. They would become a memory, and eventually, a legend.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

Octavia came to visit often, and she and Diyoza had actually moved in together to take care of Hope. Clarke didn't mean to overhear the night Bellamy's sister told him, "I understand now. I understand everything, big brother. And I'm sorry." But she was glad to know that even Octavia and Diyoza were doing okay.

-::-::-::-::-::-::-

It wasn't until two and a half years after leaving the Anomaly, on the most ordinary of days, that Clarke and Bellamy finally realized they'd truly made it through everything that had almost destroyed them. They were sitting on the couch by the window, sunlight streaming onto Bellamy's face, turning him golden. Clarke was drawing in a sketchbook, truthfully not paying too much attention to her subject until Bellamy peered over at her paper. The dropship, plummeting down to Earth. Before it landed and those two boys died. When every member of the 100 was alive, with their hearts in their throats and excitement in their eyes.

"Do you ever wish we could go back there?" Bellamy said, in a low, wistful voice.

Clarke looked out the window at Madi and Raven laughing in the front lawn. "I think about it all the time." And it was true. She thought of Monty and Jasper high-fiving each other. She thought of Finn and Lincoln, striving towards peace. She thought of Monroe and Roma, so young and so brave. She thought of Charlotte's wide eyes and Wells' warm hug. She thought of Harper's quiet bravery, and Sinclair's humble genius.

And then she reached for Bellamy's hand, holding it tightly in her own. He had been hers for years now. For nearly a decade, they had belonged to each other. She wouldn't trade their story for anything. But the story that had begun two years ago the night she had told him she loved him too, not as a way to say goodbye, but as a way to start the life she hadn't dared to dream of, was one she never wanted to end. So she told him the truth. "But no. I don't. Because then I wouldn't be here."

And for once in Clarke's life, she was exactly where she wanted to be.