Author's Note: Written for the 2019 Riddikulus fest, this fun little Dramione has made me wish I was better at writing fluff and humor. Either way, I hope you enjoy this. I can't wait to see what you think! Thank you to the admin running this event! I had a lot of fun writing this piece!

Beta love goes to GaeilgeRua for allowing me to use her Grammarly subscription. Alpha love goes to SquarePeg72 for reading this over and letting me know it wasn't horrible! Haha! Any other mistakes you find are my own. Much love, xxDustNight

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this creation.

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Something To Talk About

Staring into his mirror, Draco ran his fingers through his hair once more before deciding he was ready. He was meeting Hermione, his secret girlfriend of three months, out by the Black Lake before dinner. They both had rounds later that evening so there would be little time to catch up with one another. Someday soon Draco hoped that they would finally be able to bring their post-war relationship to light, but for now, this would have to do. Their friends were still a bit wary when it came to intermingling between houses.

Stepping into the Slytherin common room, Draco turned to discover his three best mates blocking his way. Frowning, he took a step backwards and crossed his arms. "What?" he asked, giving them each a glance.

"We have something to talk about with you. This is an intervention," Theo said plainly, gesturing between them. "We know about your relationship with Granger, and it needs to stop."

Draco felt his heart give a lurch, but he tried to remain cool. "I don't know what you're talking about," he rushed to say, trying to brush past Goyle in the hopes that he could slip from the dungeons and meet Hermione.

Blaise grabbed hold of the back of his sweater. "No, you're not getting away that easily. Goyle claims he saw the two of you holding hands during potions."

Grimacing, Draco recalled today's earlier lesson. Slughorn had paired him up with Hermione, and she quietly insisted on holding his hand… She claimed no one would see. Clearly, she was wrong. He inwardly smirked knowing he would be able to hold this over her later. Sighing now, Draco turned around and shrugged. "Alright, you caught me. We've been quietly seeing one another. But, really, so what?"

"You're admitting to it?" Theo inquired, his eyes watching Draco as he wandered over to one of the plush sofas. "You're not going to lie and say Goyle made up the entire thing?"

"Why lie?" Draco asked as he took a seat. "We planned on telling everyone eventually. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem," Theo continued, "is that she's the Gryffindor princess."

"And I'm the Slytherin prince. We're perfect for one another," Draco said confidently. When Theo and Blaise laughed, his smile faded.

"You keep thinking that," Theo said, plopping down next to Draco and patting his knee.

It took Draco everything to keep from growling or withdrawing his wand and giving his friend a good poke. He didn't want to get kicked out of Hogwarts in the middle of their eighth year though. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. "Nott, Hermione and I don't need your approval."

"She's Potter and Weasley's best friend," Greg pointed out, nearly flinching when Draco whipped his head around to glare at him.

"She saved your arse in the Room of Requirement alongside those two if you recall." Draco felt some satisfaction when Goyle swallowed audibly and then shook his head. He watches as the stalky wizard sat down in the chair across from them and grew silent. "She helped free all of us from the Dark Lord's hold. We owe her a lot."

"Is that why you're with her?" Blaise asked, perching himself on the arm of the sofa. He leaned closer and fake whispered, "Are you trying to repay a life debt?"

Draco all but sputtered at that. "What!? Absolutely not! As it turns out, I've always found her slightly attractive. It took seeing her risk her life for all of the wizarding kind for me to realise she was more than the status of her blood."

"Huh," Blaise said, straightening back up and rubbing at his jaw. "That's rather insightful of you. Who knew?"

"Who knew what?" came a voice from behind them all. The four Slytherins turned around to find their other good friend, Pansy Parkinson standing there with both hands on her hips and a quirked eyebrow.

"That Draco had a heart," Theo supplied, nudging the blond. "We're having an intervention."

"For what?" Pansy asked, now crossing her arms and giving them a hard look. "If it's to get him from slicking his hair back, I'm all in."

Goyle snorted, and Blaise cracked a grin. Draco, however, frowned and said, "No, they found out I'm dating Hermione and are trying to talk me out of it."

"Granger?" Pansy's eyes went wide. Pointing at Draco, she asked, "You snagged Granger?"

"Yeah…" Draco was starting to get slightly annoyed that everyone thought he wasn't good enough for Granger or that he shouldn't be with her. It really wasn't anyone's business.

"Wow. I didn't think that would ever happen," she said with a smirk of her own. "Good for you."

Surprised by her reaction, Draco allowed himself to smile. "Thank you. Now, I really need to be going. Hermione is waiting for me."

"Really, Pans?" Theo asked, gesturing at Draco. "You think there's nothing wrong with him and Granger dating?"

"No, I think it's great," Pansy said, defending Draco. "Besides, Granger is hot. I saw her naked once in the Prefect's bathroom. I'd do her if I weren't already shagging Ginny." With that bombshell of a comment, she smiled, waved at the boys, and then sauntered away to dinner.

"What the bloody hell just happened," Theo muttered, still staring at the spot where Pansy had previously stood.

"No clue, mate," Blaise answered, his eyes bright with mirth. "But it seems Draco here isn't the only one giving House Unity a try."

"And you're okay with this?" Theo asked incredulously.

Shrugging, Blaise said, "I really have no room to talk. You and I have been dating for years, and we both know it's still not really accepted in the Wizarding community to be openly gay."

"He has a point," Draco said with a shrug. "If you want others to be accepting of you two, you have to accept their life choices too."

Frowning, Theo directed his next comment to Goyle. "What do you think about all this?"

"I kind of want to ask Luna Lovegood to the next Hogsmeade weekend," Greg admitted to stunned silence. 'I just haven't because I was afraid you all would be fun of me."

"Nah," Draco said, biting back a laugh. "Go for it, mate. To each his own."

"I guess intervention cancelled then," Theo said, slumping down in the sofa. Blaise came over and sat on his lap while Draco just chuckled. "Bloody hell."

At that moment a third-year girl interrupted their conversation. "Malfoy? That bushy-haired Gryffindor is asking for you at the door." She smiled and then disappeared back across the room.

Sighing, Draco pushed himself to stand and then faced his friends. "Look, Hermione and I have been over this many times. We know not everyone is going to agree with our relationship, but we don't care. We have pretty deep feelings for one another, and the war is over. We're ready to move on and you should too."

Then he gave them a wave and headed for the hall. He knew Hermione was probably worried and he didn't want to make her wait any more than she already had. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and felt his heart swell at the sight of Hermione standing there waiting for him.

"I know I'm not supposed to come here, but I got worried when you didn't show up," Hermione explained as Draco exited the common room.

"No, it's fine," he muttered, taking her hand in his. His heart warmed when she smiled, so he held on a bit tighter.

"What held you up?" Hermione asked as their hands interlocked and they began walking down the hall to dinner.

"My friends… They were trying to talk me out of dating you," he explained carefully. "But they backed off after a while. I think it's time we tell the rest of the world."

"I think so too, Draco. We can take care of that at dinner." Hermione was quiet for a moment and then gently squeezed his hand. "What changed their minds?" Hermione inquired, now walking a bit closer to him in the cold dungeons.

"Pansy," Draco said quietly, still a bit stunned that his ex-girlfriend took up for him. He didn't dare tell Hermione what was said, however.

"Hmmm," Hermione hummed, a smile gracing her lips. "That explains the wink."

"The wink?" Draco asked, stopping them both.

"Yeah," Hermione said, grinning. "Pansy came out of the common room a few minutes before you did, looked me up and down, and then gave me a wink."

Draco just shook his head. "That witch…" he muttered, tugging Hermione close and wrapping his arms around her frame. "Promise you won't let her steal you away from me."

Hermione laughed, her head thrown, so her curls cascaded down her back. When she pulled herself together, she kissed Draco and said, "Don't you worry. As attractive as Pansy might be, it's your heart that I love. Now come on. Let's go and give the rest of the castle something to talk about."

Draco complied, allowing himself to be led upstairs for dinner. It wasn't until they'd entered the Great Hall that he realised what Hermione had said. "Wait, what?!"

Instead of replying, Hermione just laughed and allowed everyone to see that she and Draco were together by kissing him in the doorway. Draco let his worries fade. He would deal with Pansy later. Right now, they were most certainly giving the castle something to talk about.