He didn't want to do it. As he stood in the lobby watching the entire firm file into the library, he thought back to another mock trial, years ago, that shook the very foundation of the firm - just like this one no doubt was about to. He didn't want to stand in front of everyone and ask the questions he knew needed to be asked because of what happened to them, to her, the last time he did.

He remembered another mock trial, one that didn't happen but should have. Didn't happen because he was feeling exactly the way he was feeling now - his stomach turning at the mere thought of asking the questions scribbled on the notepad in his hand. But, he recalled painfully, it turned out not holding that mock trial hurt her far more than it would have had they done it. Because unlike the first time, she'd been ready for his questions, she just needed to practice. And he knew they were both ready this time, but that didn't make what he was about to do any easier.

The crowd in the lobby began to clear as most people settled in the library and just as he was about to follow the last few stragglers inside, he saw them approaching. To anyone else, they appeared a united front, approaching the library in stride, but he knew them both well enough to know that the tension between them was palpable. So strong, in fact, he could practically feel it radiating off of them and reverberating on the glass walls surrounding them.

"Louis," Harvey greeted him with a terse smile, his tone somber.

"Are you ready?" he asked, looking between him and Donna as he did.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied, letting out a puff of air before turning into the library, Louis and Harvey right behind her.

He started off calling Alex to the stand, because even though Hardman would be running the show the day of the hearing, Harvey was allowed a character witness. They decided that Alex was the best man for the job, because he was involved with the deal between Thomas and Simon Lowe, but had never actually met Lowe. The hope was that he could establish the facts of the case and do so as unbiasedly as possible.

Louis questioned Alex first as himself. As planned, he established that Thomas and Simon had agreed to waive conflict when Simon brought him the deal and started to negotiate. When finalizing the deal took longer than discussed, Alex started working independently to see if he could bring Thomas' initial deal back to the table, incase Simon pulled out because he didn't want to leave his client high and dry. He'd advised Thomas not to issue a press release, but he did so anyways.

Louis then assumed the role of Hardman, making a half hearted attempt to poke holes in Alex's story, but didn't spend too much time on it. They all knew that Hardman couldn't care less about the facts of the case, his singular focus was on tearing Harvey down. Alex's job was to establish a logical sequence of events so that, if Hardmand did come at him with ridiculous questions, the committee would see what he was doing and wouldn't allow them.

As Alex finished answering the last question, Donna let out a long exhale; she knew that she was next. Practicing the answers to the questions Louis had given her infront of her bathroom mirror that morning was one thing, but answering them in front of a room of her colleagues was entirely different. Her track record for keeping it together in these types of situations wasn't on her side, but she knew that she had to put her best foot forward for the firm, for Harvey. The whole purpose of the day's exercise was so that they presented a united front when Hardman swung at them the next day.

"Ms. Paulsen," Louis - as Hardman - started as she settled into the chair, "is it true that you have a personal relationship with Thomas Kessler?" he asked, which caused murmurs across the library - her relationship with Thomas was far from common knowledge.

"Yes," she replied simply, looking down at her hands in her lap, unable to meet Harvey's gaze.

"For how long?" Louis continued.

"Just under a month," she confirmed.

"And did you know about his initial negotiations?"

"Yes, he told me that he was frustrated with how long it was taking, but that they eventually made progress," she explained, speaking slowly to keep her tone of voice even.

"Did you ever talk about the new deal with Harvey?" Louis continued.

"Yes," she answered, "he told me that both Simon and Thomas had waived conflict, and what the timeline for finalizing it was," she explained.

"Anything else?" he pressed.

"No," she replied, looking him square in the eye. She knew it was a lie, so did Louis and so did Harvey. But in order for Hardman, and the committee, to believe her she needed to deliver it confidently. "Nothing else," she verified with a quick exhale.

"After your conversation with Harvey," Louis continued, beginning pace the length of the floor in front of where Donna was sitting, "did you discuss the deal any more with Thomas?"

"Yes," Donna admitted, and even though she was looking down, she could feel Harvey's gaze shooting into her, like he was willing her to stop talking, willing her not to fall on her sword for him.

"What did you talk about?" Louis as Hardman pressed, Louis as Louis shooting her an empathetic glance, reminding her to stick to their script.

"He was really excited about it," a sad smile stretching across her face as she recalled their conversation in her living room, "he thought it was a bit strange it was taking longer than planned for the deal to close, but he trusted Simon so he wasn't too concerned," she finished.

"But you were?"

She took a breath before answering - this was the hard part. They couldn't put words into Thomas' mouth because they knew that Hardman would likely call him to the stand as well. And Donna truthfully had no idea what he'd say when he got up there. They couldn't risk saying anything that he might contradict.

"Yes," she answered softly, taking another breath.

"Why?"

"Because in my experience as COO," she paused to see Louis nodding at her; he'd told her she needed to mention that she was the firm's COO at least once to establish her credibility in the case as more than Thomas' girlfriend. Her testimony needed to show that she was an accomplished professional who wouldn't make a rash, destructive decision based on personal feelings - even though she knew that's exactly what she did.

"In my experience as COO," she repeated, realizing she'd taken a long pause, "when a deal like this gets held up, it's usually because one side is dealing in bad faith."

"Did you tell Thomas this?"

"I told him he should talk to Alex," she replied. She knew it didn't exactly answer the question and that Hardman would likely press her on it. She expected Louis to do the same and she looked up at him, anticipating his next question.

"Anything else?" he pried.

"No," she confirmed - her voice full of the false confidence that had backed her previous lies.

"Very well," Louis said with a breath, "thank you Ms. Paulsen," he said, gesturing and letting her know she could return to her seat behind the table with Harvey and Alex.

As she crossed paths with Harvey, she tried to flash him a reassuring smile, but his eyes wouldn't meet hers - they were trained on the ground as he took his seat at the front of the library.

"Mr. Specter," Louis began, doing his best to capture that taunting yet melodic tone of voice Hardman spoke in, "how long have you represented Simon Lowe?" he asked.

While waiting for Harvey's answer, Donna took a deep breath. She hadn't seen the list of questions Louis had prepared for Harvey, but she expected them to be more intense than what she'd been handed - since tearing Harvey down was Hardman's main objective. They were starting off easy but she knew that Louis as Hardman was just stalking his prey before going in for the kill.

"Just over five years," Harvey answered simply.

"And Mr. Kessler?" Louis continued, "had you ever worked with him before?"

"No," Harvey clarified, "we'd met a handful of times in social settings, but we'd never done business together."

"Were you aware that Ms. Paulsen and Mr. Kessler had a personal relationship?" Louis asked, his eyes reminding Harvey to stick to their script.

"Yes," Harvey answered, the tone of his voice subtly losing that confidence it had just held. The shift was so subtle that Donna was sure she was the only person in the room to pick up on it.

"And did you discuss any aspects of Mr. Kessler's deal with your client with her?"

"No."

Louis tensed at Harvey's answer, his hand balling into a fist by his side - Harvey had done exactly what he'd told him not to; he'd gone off script.

"Mr. Specter, are you aware that you're under oath?" Louis asked, in an attempt to get him back on track.

"Yes," he replied tersely.

"Would you like to change your answer?" Louis pressed, "given Ms. Paulsen's statement?"

"No," Harvey shot back.

"Are you implying that Ms. Paulsen lied?" Louis sought to clarify.

Harvey didn't respond to the question; he folded his hands in his lap and tilted his head to one side pursing his lips. Donna could read that expression, and she knew Louis could too. It meant that he was pissed off, and didn't want to answer the question - and that he knew that Louis already knew the answer he'd give anyways.

"Or are you lying now to protect her?" he asked, taking a couple steps towards Harvey.

Once again, he didn't answer, but kept his gaze fixed on Louis. He knew he'd gone off script, and the fists by Louis' side indicated that he was pissed. Louis gave him a couple more seconds to answer the question at hand, before walking back to the table that Donna and Alex sat behind and discarding his list of questions on the desk.

"Have you and Ms. Paulsen ever had sexual or romantic contact?" he asked, which once again sent murmurs sailing through the pack of associates at the back of the library.

Donna felt a blush rising to her cheeks. She knew the questions were likely to go this way, given that Hardman would ultimately be the one asking them. He was exactly the type of person who'd use their history against them, which was exactly why both she and Harvey had insisted on the mock trial in the first place. But still, knowing all of that didn't make it any easier to air their dirty laundry in front of the firm.

"Yes," he replied quickly, lifting his head at the exact same moment as Donna, their eyes locking as he spoke.

"Are you currently dating anyone, Mr. Specter?"

"No," he answered, offering it even quicker than he had the last question.

"Why did your last relationship end?"

"It's complicated," Harvey answered, shooting Louis a look, warning him not to press the issue much further. But Louis shot a look back, reminding him that he'd given him permission to press where it hurts, and Harvey had agreed to comply.

"Did Ms. Paulsen have anything to do with that complication?" he asked, urging Harvey to continue.

"Yes," he answered, "she asked me to choose between her and Donna, and I chose Donna," he explained, as if it was the most logical decision in the entire world.

Hearing Harvey say those words made Donna's breath catch in her throat. She knew that Harvey had chosen her over Paula when he'd shown up at her door and tore up her resignation letter, but hearing him say those words to her made her stomach flutter in a way she'd long since thought she'd tampered down.

"Would you say you're jealous of Mr Kessler's new relationship with Ms. Paulsen?" Louis asked reluctantly, hating where the line of questioning was going.

Harvey sucked in a breath. They were teetering on the edge of admitting things he'd been wanting to admit for weeks. But he wanted to admit them just to Donna - not to Donna and every single employee at the firm.

"Yes," he breathed, his voice just above a whisper - finally breaking the stark silence that had filled the room.

Donna's heart had started to beat faster the second Louis had asked that question and now hearing Harvey's response, she could feel it practically rattling around under her sternum, knocking around so loudly she was sure Alex could hear it too.

"Here's what I think," Louis started, once again pacing the length of the room, "I think you're perjuring yourself to protect Ms. Paulsen. Is that true, Mr. Specter?" he pressed.

"I decline to answer pursuant to my fifth amendment rights," Harvey deadpanned.

"Harvey," Louis started, breaking character and speaking to him as himself, "this is an ethics hearing not a courtroom, you can't plead the fifth," he said sympathetically.

"Well this," Harvey practically spat while gesturing to the scene around them, "isn't either and I'm taking the goddamn fifth," he finished before pressing himself out of the chair and moving straight for the side exit of the library.

Unwilling to let himself get rattled by Harvey's outburst, Louis continued.

"I'd like to re-call Ms. donna Paulsen to the stand," Louis announced, looking at her expectantly.

She'd heard what he said, but the words hadn't registered, her brain still working to process everything that Harvey had said and done. It wasn't until Alex nudged her side gently that she realized that all eyes were on her, waiting for her to reclaim the spot that Harvey had just vacated.

Not sure what else to say, Louis jumped right back in to his questions. Harvey had gone so far off the script that Louis was shooting from the hip - but he knew Hardman well enough to figure out how he'd navigate the situation.

"If Mr. Kessler asked you to choose between him and Mr. Specter, who would you choose?"

Startled by his question, Donna took a deep breath before answering, attempting to regain what was left of her composure.

"He wouldn't ask that," she answered, a last ditch attempt to avoid what she knew was about to happen.

"Why?"

"Because he knows how important my work is to me," she explained.

"Your work?" Louis clarified, "or Harvey?"

Donna let out a long breath before answering and Harvey, who was just on the other side of the wall, hanging on to her every word and unable to move from here he stood, held his own. Before she could answer though, Louis jumped in with another question.

"Is Mr. Kessler aware of your romantic history with Mr. Specter?" he pressed.

"No"

"Is he aware that you were once fired from this firm for destroying evidence in an effort to protect Mr. Specter?"

"No"

"Is that what you're doing now? Lying to protect him?"

"No"

"But you would say you are protective of him?"

"I guess"

"Why?"

Donna paused, thinking about the question she'd just been asked. If she was honest, there were a million ways she could answer that question. But none of them would tell the full story or, more importantly, shut down further questions. Truthfully, they protected each other equally, unconditionally. It was who they were, who they'd always been. But she couldn't say that because she knew exactly what question would follow that response.

"You're pausing," he stated, "and I think I know why."

She never thought such a simple phrase could turn her stomach in the way she was feeling now and yet, for every second of silence, she felt the bile rise higher and higher in her throat. Her mind flashing back to years ago, in that very room, and she was absolutely dreading what was about to happen. Because this time, if she was asked, she wouldn't have to think about the answer. The question wouldn't confuse her or catch her off guard, but never in a million years would she speak those words into existence. Not in front of all these people, and probably not ever. Because she knew they'd be unreciprocated and there was no pain quite as acute as admitting you loved someone who couldn't love you back.

On the other side of the wall, Harvey sank to the ground. Hearing Louis' words he too was brought back to the Coastal Motors case and that damn memo that almost tore them apart. The silence that followed was deafening and he willed Louis to keep talking, to press her like he'd done once before. He wanted to hear what she'd say, what she'd let herself admit. But he knew Donna, and he knew that she didn't say things she didn't mean - which meant she'd never say the one thing he so desperately wanted to hear.

Back in the library, Donna shot Louis a look of absolute disgust. Louis knew it wasn't aimed at him, that she was distraught at the situation and she needed to place her anger somewhere and he was the closest thing she could find. He just about broke when he saw tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, her lips pursing to keep them from falling.

"Louis," she practically hissed, rising from the chair, "we're done," she said as she moved quickly out of the library, exiting in the opposite direction Harvey had.

Louis turned his gaze to follow her, but as he did, something at the back of the room caught his eye. That uncomfortable feeling of nausea he'd had at the start of the hearing had returned, increasing tenfold as he locked eyes with none other than Thomas Kessler. He wasn't sure how long the man had been standing there, or how much he'd heard, but the look that flashed across his face - hurt, resentment, confusion - told Louis that he'd heard enough.

Fuck, he thought to himself, feet rooted to where he stood, unsure whether to go after Harvey, Donna, or Thomas first, this was a damn mess.

In terms of timeline, I envision this taking place the day before the hearing (the night that Harvey goes to see Thomas). In this AU, Harvey still goes to see Thomas and the storyline continues as it did on the show.