Being Dalish hadn't had an impact on his relationship with Dorian- until a fateful routine afternoon became the happiest day of Lavellan's life.

Inquisitor Lavellan perched on the edge of his desk chair, sifting through documents Josephine needed input on about agreement this and trade treaty that and rubbed his temples as a tension headache brewed in his skull. Sunlight streamed into his huge chamber at the top of Skyhold castle and he longed for an excuse to push the paperwork aside and do literally anything else but decipher another Orlesian scribe's flowery cursive.

As usual, Dorian was the ideal distraction.

Footsteps echoed up the stairs and Lavellan braced himself for more responsibility and sighed in relief when it was Dorian. "Thank goodness."

"Not the usual reaction when I walk into a room." Dorian jested. He noticed Lavellan's downcast eyes and tired posture. "I haven't seen you at all for a few days, and you've been distant at best for weeks after all this political business. You need to give yourself a break, amatus. I'm ordering it on behalf of the imperium, since none of them are here and it amuses me."

From the sound of it, the distance had worried and upset Dorian too. "You're right- it's difficult for me to leave anything unfinished." Whether it was every loose end in the corners of the map in the Hinterlands or something a companion needed, Lavellan was compelled to do it all. He forced himself to stand up from his desk and physically leave the mess of papers and parchments behind to be embraced in Dorian's arms. "Hmmmmmmmm." Dorian squeezed Lavellan slightly and the elf realized it'd been awhile since they'd even hugged or had a meal together.

Dorian kissed Lavellan's cheek. For all he knew, Dorian missed contact with Lavellan as much as he ached for it. "I want to bond with you. Become closer in these times."

Lavellan's heart skipped a beat and then pounded double time.

Did Dorian just say that?

So suddenly-

"You- you want to Bond with me?"

Dorian pulled back from hugging Lavellan and kept his hands on Lavellan's hips, looking at him with puzzlement. "Well of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Bond? With me?"

Dorian chuckled. "You keep repeating it- yes I do!"

Lavellan threw his arms around Dorian and laughed, taking him by surprise. He buried his face in Dorian's chest and squeaked with joy. Oh, humans loved fast and hard! His heart could explode with happiness, hearing the words any Dalish longed for from their lover.

Bonding.

They'd been together a few months but- oh yes he wanted to be Dorian's. Forever. "I love you."

"We've been long overdue for a moment together- yes, I love you too." Dorian smiled at Lavellan. "Want to go for a walk that might end in the cellar?"

"Yes- anywhere with you!"

Dorian raised his eyebrows. "Inquisitor? You've really been cooped up far too long! Come on, some of that honeyed mead Josephine thinks she can hide from me."

Dorian didn't know what had gotten into Lavellan. He was practically bouncing off the walls, grinning and laughing and overly merry even sober. While Dorian knew Lavellan enjoyed his presence, suddenly Lavellan's eyes would shine with pure, complete delight when he looked at him. Even pursuing demons and trekking through stormy forest or sandy wastelands didn't water down his jubilant mood.

It was infectious.

A few days later Lavellan was chatting animatedly with Josephine in the main hall as Dorian passed by, both of them waving enthusiastically at him on his way up to the library. He glanced back too quickly and bumped into Varric. "Sorry! Sorry, forget to look out below."

"Har har." Varric nudged Dorian and grinned conspiringly. "Look at Lavellan, he's been talking to Josephine all day! Once those two get going they just don't shut up."

"I wonder what about," commented Dorian.

Varric snorted. "Your wedding."

"Oh haha- that's a new one."

Varric laughed as Dorian walked away. He was alarmed at the fact that even Solas smiled at him (somewhat painfully) on his way up the staircase.

It was like being at a party, except he didn't know who was throwing it or why. It was unnerving.

Honestly, it was wonderful. Dorian's heart was light and he sighed deeply. They were working and fighting hard, and yet the entire fortress seemed alight with Lavellan's cheerfulness, struggling to keep alive with the strongest camaraderie he'd ever seen. Birds cawed high overhead and he settled in for a study session, determined to wring out every bit of arcane knowledge he could find in the albeit outdated library.

Lavellan interrupted his study time and Dorian glanced up at him, a smirk already on his face. "Can't stay away from my dashing good looks?"

"You know it." Lavellan took Dorian's hand and tugged playfully, trying to drag him away without a second to spare. "Come on, I need your opinion on an outfit!"

"Amatus, you always know who to trust with such vital matters." Dorian chuckled and followed Lavellan up to his quarters. The elf ducked into his closet and shut the door to change. Dorian rolled his eyes. "Trying to be modest now?"

"I want you to see this on me properly!"

"Fine, fine." Dorian tapped his foot and his impatience vanished as the door swung open and Lavellan stepped out.

It was formal and intricate, a deep purple tunic embroidered with swirling patterns of gold. A pale cream silk sash rested on his waist and Lavellan turned so Dorian could see the gold winding all around from the edges of the tunic material up his back, the sharp collar just below Lavellan's short hair. The sleeves came to his wrists and he had delicate gloves to match the sash. It'd obviously been tailored to fit perfectly and Dorian realized Josephine was probably to thank for the inquisitor's exquisite clothes.

Somehow Lavellan looked shy, uncertainty in his face. "Do you like it?"

Dorian swallowed. Oh, he looked more beautiful than anyone Dorian had ever laid eyes on. Even in Tevinter, people would stare with admiration. "My dear Lavellan- you couldn't have worn this to the Winter Palace lest you outshine the Empress herself."

Lavellan beamed at Dorian. "Really?"

Dorian approached him and gently kissed him on the lips. "Stunning," he whispered. "Everything about you is stunning." Lavellan's hazel eyes were brought out by the gold and Dorian kissed him again, pleased as Lavellan kissed back and pressed their bodies together. Dorian didn't dare think any heated thoughts with such an expensive garment on Lavellan and instead brought a hand up to ruffle through Lavellan's hair, focused on the softness and closeness of him.

The Inquisitor looked windswept when they parted, his eyes glazed with innocent pleasure and bliss, as though their kisses and Dorian himself were even close to how Lavellan made Dorian feel. A lump rose in Dorian's throat at that look- like Dorian was everything Lavellan wanted.

"I love you, Dorian." The magic in their auras tangled together in a familiar pleasant buzz and they enjoyed the sensation dancing on their skin.

God, Lavellan was so affectionate recently on top of it. Dorian was used to flirting, coyness, teasing, but someone with such raw emotion on his face, such adoration directed at him? Genuine love all his to reciprocate without shame or fear? It we almost too much. Lavellan meant it when he said he wanted more than just fun. "I love you too. As much as it pains me to leave, I think I'm close to discovering a way to make even more potent healing potions."

"Alright- let me know whatever herbs you might need."

Dorian needed some air. Lavellan was so perfect, so compassionate and kind to him, so light and glorious and he couldn't take the potency. They weren't teenagers or youthful boys playing around, dreaming of love. Yet Dorian hadn't felt such hope and overwhelming love for years-

His first instinct being to extinguish it before his heart got broken.

He wandered the grounds and eventually his feet took him towards the tavern automatically. He ran a hand through his hair and was already preparing his order when a lithe form jumped out of a bush in front of him.

"DORIAN!"

He jumped back and gasped as she shrieked with laughter. "Sera you- damnit!"

"Leave it to you to be wandering into the bar! The biggest day of your life is coming and all you want to do is drink? And are you really going to be wearing... that? Take me shopping with you! Please? Pretty please? It'll be fun! I won't steal... much this time!"

Dorian caught his breath and laughed. It'd been awhile since Sera had successfully startled him. "I don't need to go shopping. And certainly not with you- five shops in Val Royeaux have banned us from ever setting foot over their thresholds! I figure we'd get the rest to follow suit much later."

Sera snorted. "What is WRONG with you?! Are you Dorian Pavus or some clone of his that thinks it's acceptable to get hitched in an off the shoulder bit of leather?"

Now there was REALLY something wrong. "Oh god- has Varric been spreading a rumor that I'm getting married? I swear that dwarf-"

"Now excuse ME- but I've been spreading it as fast as I can!" Sera bounced on her heels and grinned. "You're insane if you thought you could keep this quiet!"

"Sera, this isn't a joke-"

Sera cut him off and Dorian's stomach flipped as she rambled. "Stop pretending you friggin' idiot, the whole castle knows! I overheard Lavellan quietly telling Josephine about your proposal the other day and of course I had to tell Iron Bull and Varric happened to be in the room too and it just spiraled from there! It's the juiciest news I've had in forever, and the Inquisitor hasn't tried to kill me! Win-win!"

What.

Dorian shook his head and put a hand to his face. Was Lavellan trying to force him into marriage? Was it an elaborate prank? Did Sera misunderstand some proposal Lavellan was telling Josephine? The Inquisitor wouldn't spring this on him, it wasn't like him. "I- have to go."

"I volunteer myself as maid of honor!"

Pain erupted in his chest and Dorian clutched his abdomen, feeling like he was going to be sick as he sped away. Lavellan was loving, sweet, honest- how was this happening? Old wounds opened again and he struggled to keep back tears. Goddamnit he was a grown adult- and yet he was back in Tevinter, meeting the woman- no, not even a woman, a mere girl who hadn't gotten to live her own life that his family arranged for him to marry, wishing often that he hadn't been born as his father and mother screamed at each other and then ignored the other's existence, feeling like such a mistake in the very society where his blood was formulated with precision before he was ever born. His talent and skill couldn't win him love- he was despised, outcast, unworthy of it from any man who toyed with him, only to be used as a political pawn to give Tevinter a mage child like his fathers before him.

And a world away he found himself engaged again without his knowledge.

Dorian plopped down, hidden away by rocks and landscaping as dusk settled over the castle. He finally pieced together what he'd done. "Bonding," he whispered. Dalish for marriage- that had to be it. He shook and buried his face in his arms, praying a ward around him would encourage people to keep away.

This was different. Lavellan was different.

Lavellan, oh Dorian's eyes watered and he sniffled, face burning as tears slid down his face and he realized all that joy and happiness had been directed at HIM, that the idea of being married to Dorian made Lavellan happier than he'd ever seen him.

If Dorian was honest, he wanted it too.

To marry a man he loved, to wake up and be joyful and content with his soulmate. He'd yearned for it like a poor child looking through glass at a store full of wishes and dreams.

Always through a barrier.

Always for someone else.

Always out of reach.

Always for people better than him.

Never something he dared to hope for for himself.

"Dorian."

Dorian whirled around and sent a blast of magic out of his fingertips, wild and uncontrolled. He wiped his eyes and glared as he recognized the figure behind him. "Leave me alone."

Iron Bull brushed off his shoulder as though Dorian hadn't just used enough force to knock a grown human over. "We need to talk."

"No. We don't."

He folded his arms. "I could pick you up by the scruff of the neck like a kitten if I wanted to, or you could admit you need someone to talk to." The quinari stared Dorian down, convinced that he'd won but that Dorian needed help admitting it. "You didn't propose," he stated.

Dorian signed, posture crumpling as he deflated and accepted he needed a friend. "No, I didn't."

"But Lavellan isn't a liar."

"Correct."

Iron Bull chuckled. "Oh, it's pure gold is what it is- I'm dying to know how you got yourself into this! What the hell did you say to him?!"

Dorian was relieved as Iron Bull sat down and he settled beside him. Despite the whirlwind of emotions inside him, Dorian smiled. "It's hilarious, in a way. If Varric ever found out it was an accident, I think he'd write a novel based on it!"

"An accident?!"

"Yes- you see, I've learned that while I wanted to offer to spend time with him, Dalish elves use the word 'bonding' as 'marriage'."

Iron Bull patted Dorian on the back with more emphasis than a human would. "Huh- its what you get for talking like a pretentious prick all the time."

"First of all- hurtful. Secondly, that alliteration makes YOU sound pretentious."

Iron Bull huffed. "You're feeling better enough to sass me, which brings me to the main reason I wanted to talk to you. If you love him so much, why DON'T you marry him?"

The bantering had Dorian grinning, eternally thankful for someone to spar with. He'd never say how much he enjoyed it. "Marriage is complicated."

"It's not. Now don't start with me about the Qun not having marriage!" Iron Bull drew himself up, piercing eye on Dorian. "Humans will fully admit to wanting to spend time together, live together, fuck each other, love each other- but something about marriage gets you all squeamish. You're monogamous somehow, and you both want each other. Boom. Done."

"I don't mean complicated like that, I mean..." Dorian sighed. "Marriage has always been cursed to me. Forced. Chaining. Expected. It was something I avoided like the plague! Back in Tevinter it represented everything my parents wanted of me that simply isn't me. It- it's a word that brings back memories of blood magic." Dorian swallowed hard. "I hear the word marriage and remember an elf- no, no over the years many elves and other slaves lying dead or injured and beaten in a pools of blood, my father saying I'm not his son, my home practically suffocating me and dripping down it's marbled pillars with evil. That's- that's all my mind sees."

Normally he wouldn't allow it, but Dorian let Iron Bull put an arm around him. "That's some fucked up shit."

"You're rightfully known for your subtly."

Iron Bull's presence was calming and steady. Strong. "Being handcuffed usually means you're being arrested- but in other situations, you're in for a fun night."

"You are a BRUTE!" exclaimed Dorian with a laugh.

"Marriage is tainted and ruined for you by your past- but this isn't Tevinter."

"I know."

Iron Bull thought for a moment. "It's kinda cute that Lavellan calls marriage 'bonding'. Sickeningly sweet, actually."

Dorian smiled, looking out at the fading silhouettes of the mountains as night fell around them. "It's adorable."

"So call it Bonding." Iron Bull playfully messed up Dorian's hair exactly how he knew he hated it. "Take him as your husband. Be committed to being together. Bond in the most Dalish romantic way possible. You fucking idiots both want it!"

Now that he had time to get used to it, Dorian was excited to marry Lavellan. Bond with him.

"I need a ring."