The Buzz of Conversation
Lucy-
Lucy was in turmoil, her emotions in an upheaval as she was on her way back to Mason, Inc. Flynn had jumped to Paris for Lindbergh's first transatlantic flight, but she couldn't concentrate on those details. There were so many conversations buzzing around in her head that she was having trouble paying to attention to her driving. She was never this careless; not since the night she'd gone off the road in college. Her mind was too wrapped up in this completely, mind-blowingly, fucked up situation. Lucy hardly ever swore, out loud or in her mind, the lesson her mother had ingrained in her that swearing was vulgar, but there was absolutely no better way to refer to what was currently happening in her life.
She'd still been reeling from Missouri when Wyatt had come to tell her he was going back to save Jessica. It was understandable, but what she couldn't comprehend was the hurtful things he had said to her. It was loud and clear that he wanted no more from her than friendship, but did that really justify what he'd said? She didn't think so, but she was also half-heartedly telling herself that he was in his own world of emotional pain so she should give him a break, but she knew that was an excuse; only trying to make herself feel better. It had worked well enough so she told herself to let it go, that it was the least of her worries.
After Lucy had gone into Mason, Inc. after Wyatt had left her house, it had turned into an even bigger emotional rollercoaster. Anthony Bruhl wanting to meet with her had been one hell of a surprise, then turning into absolute fear as he'd gotten rid of her tracker and held her at gun point. A stab of revulsion had hit her when he told her about what Rittenhouse planned to do with the Mothership. Life may not be perfect, for anyone, but them wanting to reshape the world into what they wanted was horrifying. Lucy had decided that she would not let that happen. As wrong as Flynn's actions were, she couldn't fault him for wanting to stop Rittenhouse. She'd already understood why he was doing what he was doing, for his family, at least, but now she understood his determination against Rittenhouse as a whole. It was something she never thought she would ever admit, to another person, or even herself. It was a sobering realization when she'd suggested they let Flynn keep on his path, that they quit trying to stop him. The horror she'd seen reflected on the faces of Agent Christopher and Rufus had been like a punch to the gut as they reminded her he was still hurting people, even if his intentions were good.
Then Wyatt and Rufus had come back and she'd had to deliver the news that Jessica was still dead. Lucy would never forget the look of devastation on Wyatt's face as he realized they'd saved the two other women, but not his wife, that whatever he'd done in pursuit to bring her back had failed. Nor would she forget his anguished pleas that they had to be mistaken when he'd been forcibly removed from the landing bay. Her heart had broken for him and she would hear his pained cries that his wife had to be alive in her dreams for weeks to come.
Lucy had been so angry over everything that she'd gone back to Benjamin Cahill's home and stormed inside, intent to tell him exactly what she thought of him and the organization that he was a part of. She wanted him to know just how wrong Rittenhouse was and that she wanted no part of it. It had surprised her when Benjamin, she would not call him her father, had laughed at her; definitely not the reaction she'd been expecting. It had also been hard to hear him say that she was a part, whether she wanted to be or not, of Rittenhouse, too; that it was in her blood. It was a reminder she could've done without. It made her feel tainted, even if it was something she had absolutely zero control over.
Jiya's words from earlier were haunting Lucy as she thought back on them. If you love someone...you tell them. Jiya hadn't said it, but she'd implied that Wyatt loved her because he'd told her about his plans. Lucy had wanted to laugh, to tell Jiya that she was one-hundred percent wrong about the feelings Wyatt had for her. It was as if he'd put it in writing that he only wanted to be her friend. It left a slightly bitter taste in her mouth, but she was gradually hardening her heart, in the romantic sense, toward Wyatt. She would be damned if she let him break her heart when she could prevent it.
Focus, Lucy! Paris, 1927. What do you remember?" she asked herself. Lucy had already told Rufus and Agent Christopher the most prominent details about the event, but was there anything she missed? She didn't think so. They couldn't be sure what details were important until they got there. She wasn't exactly sure what would happen to the timeline if Lindbergh hadn't been the one to complete the first transatlantic flight. Surely there would've been someone else who would do it, right? But if Lindbergh didn't achieve the fame he did, would he still have gone to Germany, become an isolationist, advocated against joining the war before the attack at Pearl Harbor?
What about the many other things he'd done with his fame? He used it to begin air-mail service, a service still used to this day. He designed a watch that would help pilots navigate, also still in production. Would his first-born child, Charles Jr., still have been kidnapped and murdered for ransom money? He'd also partnered with Alexis Carrel, a Nobel Prize-winning French surgeon, in studying the heart. His research and the invention of a glass perfusion pump is credited with making future heart surgeries possible. This invention eventually led to the first heart-lung machine, a machine still used in heart surgery, saving an untold number of lives.
Lucy's head spun with what could change if Flynn interfered with this flight. There were always consequences to the smallest of changes. She'd learned that the hard way. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but she had to have faith that Agent Christoper would honor their deal to get Amy back. She couldn't let herself believe that Amy was lost to her forever, or she would crumble to tiny pieces. She understood all too well why Wyatt had risked his freedom to save his wife. She just wished that it had worked, for his sake, and he was not imprisoned somewhere for nothing. She missed him, she couldn't help it. It was hard to think that her and Rufus would be traveling into the past for the first time without him. What she'd told Christopher after they came back from the Alamo, that she trusted no one more than Wyatt, that was still true. She didn't like the idea of having another soldier who hadn't been through all the shit they had be their new 'protector'. Lucy tried her best to push that aside. There was nothing she could do about it and it wouldn't do any good to dwell on it.
...
"Wow, Lucy. You look amazing," Jiya said as she helped Lucy fix her headband, completing the traditional 'flapper' outfit of the 1920s.
Lucy ran a critical eye over her appearance in the mirror. The black and silver sequined dress, double-looped pearl neacklace, long, dangling earrings, black tights, and silver heeled shoes, all paired with the short, wavy bob and deep red lipstick, painted quite the sexy picture. It was a look Lucy had never thought she'd see herself in. In a moment of vanity, she thought she looked pretty damn good. She gave Jiya a genuine smile, her first in several days.
"Thank you," Lucy said. She gave herself another once-over and grinned at the computer genius. "It's not exactly my normal look, is it?"
Jiya laughed, the smile reaching her eyes. Lucy thought it was nice to see after the tumultuous feelings everyone had been experiencing since Wyatt and Rufus 'stole' the Lifeboat.
"Well, I think it's hot. You go show those swaggering young bucks in Paris what a classy lady looks like!"
Lucy laughed. It felt so good to laugh with true humor. The friendly banter and compliments from Jiya was like a breath of fresh air.
"Someday, when there's no emergency, we're going to come in and play dress up. I'd like to see you in a hoop-skirt so wide you can barely fit through a door," Lucy whispered conspiratorially, a devious grin on her face.
Jiya rolled her eyes. "When is there not an emergency?" she asked.
That put a bit of a damper on Lucy's rare, jovial mood. Jiya wasn't wrong. The time between Flynn's jumps were getting shorter and shorter; leaving little down-time in between. It would almost be more practical if some kind of dorm was constructed so they could all just stay at Mason. It would definitely save time if they weren't constantly getting called back almost as soon as they got home. Lucy didn't like the lack of privacy a dorm would mean so she dismissed the idea then and there, it not really being something she would actually consider. She doubted the others would go for it either, laughing at the image of horror of Rufus' face at the suggestion he share a living space with several other people.
"That's true. We don't have much time to ourselves anymore," Lucy said with a sigh.
"No," Jiya replied with a small shake of her head. A quiet sadness overtook the room. "Well, you better get out there."
Lucy nodded.
Several minutes later, Lucy fumbled with her harness, acutely missing Wyatt's help. She looked up to see Master Sergeant Dave Bamgaudner, "Bam Bam," as Rufus had called him, not struggling at all. It was really annoying. Since she didn't know him, she didn't really feel comfortable asking him for help, so she bumbled her way through it, almost shouting a triumphant "AHA!" when she finally had it buckled. Lucy didn't like that Wyatt wasn't with them, but she felt reassured that Bam Bam was a friend of his and someone he trusted. Rufus had told her what Wyatt had said about him as they'd entered the Lifeboat. If Wyatt trusted Bam Bam to take care of them, then she would too.
"Everyone ready?" Rufus asked.
Bam Bam rubbed his hands together like an excited kid. "Absolutely!"
Lucy couldn't help her smile at his enthusiasm. It was refreshing.
"Let's go see some history," she quipped. Rufus and Bam Bam laughed at her joke.
Rufus started the sequence to send them back in time and Lucy braced herself for the bumpy ride. They landed with the usual jolt and Lucy was glad the nauseous feeling didn't affect her as much as it used to. Small victories, she told herself.
Lucy, Rufus, and Bam Bam made their way along the dark path from where they'd landed the Lifeboat.
Lucy walked slowly between her companions, wondering just what it was they were going to have to do this time. Well, here we go, again, she thought.