Final Wish - Chapter 6

Eventually after what seemed like an age to Mordred, but could have only been a handful of minutes, the knights tears dry up. Gathering herself as best she can, but still remaining firmly attached to her sire, Mordred lets out a mirthless laugh, "Do you know what my wish was father?"

Artoria breaths out a sad sigh, "Yes I am aware of your wish."

"I know I know." Mordred replies with regret, snorting up an errant sliver of mucous that threatened to escape her nose, "I suppose we were both bad at making wishes. You know I didn't realise until the end why I truly wanted the throne or at least the original reason." She pauses before quickly clarifying, "I mean don't get me wrong I still wished to best you. By rebelling I hoped to prove I had surpassed you. That I….that I was worthy of your acknowledgement."

The last part comes out as barely a whisper, embarrassment plain as her emotions threaten to boil over again. Taking a deep breath she manages to centre herself and save further embarrassment in front of her sire. She presses on, her words forlorn, "You were always so damn perfect, never letting your emotions show. But just because you hid it well doesn't mean it wasn't affecting you. Isn't that right father?"

"No you are correct Mordred. In my folly I hid my troubles….Even from Guinevere." Artoria admits mournfully, "I do not regret taking the sword but it did come with a weight that I sometimes struggled to uphold. In the end hiding the burden from others only ended in tragedy."

Digesting the confirmation of what she had always suspected Mordred replies wistfully, "I saw through your mask sometimes. Saw how hard ruling Britain was on you …..especially after Lancelot and well me and the whole rebellion thing. I-I wanted to save you from that burden as well. Let you retire and not have to worry about Britain any more. Retire knowing a worthy successor was in charge. "

She lets out a grunt, frustration evident in her own actions, "I guess I kinda ruined that. In the end I betrayed the ideal I has sought to achieve. But when I revealed my true identity to you and you rejected me I….." Mordred tries to suppress her rising emotions, the memory of that time still a great source of pain to the knight. A task she fails to complete as tears well up once more.

"...I -I was so angry Father. So angry." She admits with a mixture of woeful bitterness, "And what did my anger bring? A kingdom in ruins and any chance of earning your recognition turned to dust. I was a damn fool father. Im sorry father…..Im sorry."

"I understand Mordred." Artoria affirms gently, trying her best to comfort Mordred as her own feelings of sorrow bleed through, "I have thought long on this and you have my forgiveness Mordred regardless of what the outcome of today brings. Mistakes were made on both our parts. I think….I think its time we forgive ourselves as well as each other."

Elated at her sires words, but fearful of the unknown territory Mordred askes hesitantly, "Is that really possible?"

"I hope so." Artoria replies without hesitation though with the same concern over the un-tread path, "I know there is a great deal of issues that cannot be resolved in a single conversation but I hope we can make peace between us and if you so desire perhaps …." She pauses, Artoria`s confidence seemingly eroded by her next utterance which is anything but certain though completely sincere, "….. Perhaps we can attempt to forge the bond I so foolishly denied in the past. It will likely be trying at times but If you are willing to endeavor I will to."

Everything was telling Morded to clasp on to the offer and never let go. Indeed such a thing had never seemed possible and she feels a horrifying dread at the thought that it would disappear if she didn't do just that. However there was one thing that had to be cleared up if there was any hope of them truly moving forward.

"Father I-I want that….i think." She admits cautiously, her emotions clashing together like two bitter armies on the field , "Its confusing and I never thought we would be in this position but there is something I need to know first."

"Ask Mordred." Artoria prompts encouragingly, "I will do my best to answer."

With her sires acceptance , Mordred forges ahead and asks the question that had burned away at her soul ever since that horrible day, "Father why….Why did you reject me that day?"

A short silence follows the desperate utterance, Artoria expecting the question but still finding the answer difficult to say. Finally, the former king summons up her courage and admits with growing a mix of sorrow and shame, "I will be honest with you. When you revealed yourself to me all I could see was Morgan and her foul schemes. Then when the initial shock wore off and I realised how you must have come into being im sorry but all I could feel at that moment was an all consuming horror that clouded my judgment. Mordred I shouldn't have said what I said however your origin …."

She pauses, grinding her teeth in frustration as flashes of that time assault her mind and sap her will. Feeling Mordred tense up Artoria takes a deep breath and with notable effort calms herself. However as she forces herself to continue she cant disguise how painful it was for her to say. "Your origin...Your origin is unfortunately a source of great trauma for me. It is not your fault but when I knew the truth all I could think about was that time and how Morgan intended to use you against me."

Mordred was not surprised by her sires words. Indeed, as agonising as it was to hear she had this conversation in her mind countless times. Yet instead of the fiery anger she expected ,though that was defiantly there, she mostly feels empathy and a hard to pinpoint sadness. All they had discussed in the short space of time making Mordred look at her sire in a new light that was honestly still confusing to the knight. Yet even so it was telling the knight to try and banish this torment that was so harrowing that not even her sires iron clad composure could bury it.

"God I truly am getting soft." She admits as she pulls away from their embrace and awkwardly places a hand on her sires, trying to offer what comfort she can. The knight not at all pleased by how rewarding that small thankful smile she received from her sire in response was. "I never thought about how father felt about how I came to be. Now that I think about im not sure I would have reacted any better. Merlins twisted idea of a joke and mothers damnable sorcery. Yeah what freak show I am."

"Mother…."She starts before correcting herself bitterly, trying and failing to suppress her feelings of self loathing as she looks away in shame, "I mean Morgan. She told me about what Merlin did …." She withdraws her hand and looks away as her tones bite bleeds away, the embarrassment over the contents of the conversation hitting home, "The ehhh whole gender change thing….and then being stupid enough to let mother get a hold of….of your essence."

She huffs in annoyance, letting her anger take hold as a way to counter her unease, "Im not going to say I fully accept your reasons. Hell im not sure I could fully really accept any reason if im honest. But I get it . I-I just want you know im sorry that happened to you father. And im sorry I didn't think about it when I first revealed myself to you. If that fool was here now if id revenge myself upon him for both our sakes."

"Thank you Mordred." Artoria accepts with a grateful nod before adding gravely having picked up on Mordred obvious shame, "However you should not think less of yourself because of your origin. It was my folly to not see past the actions of others Mordred….."Artoria pauses for a moment in thought, uncertainty clear on her delicate features as Mordred dwells on what was said.

"Damn father picked up on that." Mordred ruminates with an annoyed kind of embarrassment that stains her cheeks red, "I wish I wasn't such a mess right now. This so frustrating." The knights thoughts cheer slightly despite herself, her sires words striking home. "Though its nice to hear father say that as well. God if im not careful I might end up embarrassing myself again."

Artoria shakes her head as if the answer she had come up with was unsatisfactory, drawing Mordred away from the secret relief and joy her sires words brought.

Gritting her teeth the former kings tone pulls between bitterness and confusion as she continues, "Merlins motives are uncertain to me. He was always a trickster but I believed his intentions despite his often irksome actions were noble. Now I wonder if Morgan wasn't the only one toying with us."

"What happened to him?" Mordred asks with a feral snarl, leaning forward hungrily as if she would spring into action should she find the incubus still lived. The easy target a perfect way to focus her anger and hold back the threat of another emotional breakdown, "If he did truly betray you my blade hasn't seen some action in a while and I have my own bone to pick with him anyway. Just say the word father."

Artoria`s lips twitch with amusement and a hint of gratitude before sombreness takes hold once more, "If the opportunity presents itself I would be happy for your assistance. Sadly at the time of the rebellion he disappeared without a trace. I have since learned however that the fool somehow trapped himself within a tower here in Avalon."

She lets out a frustrated sigh, deflating slightly in disappointment, "I have been unable to breach the barrier surrounding the keep despite my and Shirou`s concerted efforts. The Fae however believe he will emerge when the end times come though I have no way to to be sure of this."

Mordred lets out a snort making her opinion of the Fae known. Artoria inclines her head by way of acknowledgement, sharing her frustrations but still holding faith in their hosts. "Regardless should he ever emerge I will have my answers. His intent must be questioned for both our sakes."

"Well I got say I was kinda hoping we could beat it out of him now." Mordred muses with evident disappoint as she puts some distance between them to take some control back from her rebellious emotions. Leaning back she smirks with evident anticipation as her bravado restores itself, "Though I think that's something we can definitely agree on. When the times comes ill be there with you to get my pound of flesh."

Shaking her head in amusement, Artoria nevertheless cautions, "I hope it will not come to violence and indeed hope it is a misunderstanding. We must give Merlin a chance to explain himself Mordred."

"Yeah yeah." Mordred waves off blithely, satisfied that her sire wouldn't shy away from the conflict if it was necessary, "But if he is guilty he gets whats coming to him."

A dark look flashes across her sires eyes, the former kings intent clear even if their tone was controlled,

"If he is guilty." She concedes, the promise behind her words unshakable, "We will have our reckoning."

"Agreed." Mordred accepts with a pleased nod, feeling an odd sense of bonding over their shared promise as morbid as it is. With the matter now resolved Mordred voices the question on which many things hinged upon, her voice filled with uncertainty as she gestures vaguely, "Sooooo. Where does that leave us now?"

Clearly as uncertain and perhaps fearful of the response as Mordred, Artoria lets an uncertain grimace escape before schooling her features.

Gathering herself, she nods and answers resolutely, "We can be wherever you want us to be Mordred. My offer from before still stands if you wish it but I will not hold it against you if you decline. Regardless of your decision however I will help prepare you for the end times." A sad but accepting tone sneaks into her words, "I would rather it not come to it, yet even so when the darkness is banished and if you still I wish it we can settle our duel."

Mordred in that moment was a maelstrom of competing emotions that angrily refused to concede. Her greatest wish struggling against her bitter desire to best her sire. Yet after all that she had heard this day the answer was clear even if she still held mixed feeling over it.

"I- I dont think I have the right to hold it against you but its still all so new to me." Mordred answers warily, her thoughts still a jumble as she stares resolutely at the floor to avoid eye contact , "I mean I think I can forgive you . That anger that's poisoned me for so long isn't as strong. But its hard to just cast away everything just like that you know."

She looks up cautiously as if fearing the response. However she has nothing to fear as her sire nods encouragingly, fully accepting of her emotional struggle. Fearing the swelling of tears that was threatening to burst forth Mordred turns her head away again before pressing on fiercely. "Dont get me wrong I want us to settle our duel and there's things I still need answers to. But….."

Mordreds tone softens, a small hopeful smile forming as she braves eye contact with the patient eyes of her sire., "…. But I dont want it to end in anger. Just a fair duel with us both walking away unscathed. Or at least mostly unscathed. So please give me some time to work through this father. I-I want to build towards that kind of bond as well."

Wiping away an errant tear Artoria allows her joy to fully manifest, declaring with a smile, "Im...Im glad Mordred. I-I accept your terms."

Mordred begins to tear up as well despite her best efforts. Indeed she was in danger of repeating her earlier show of vulnerability as the sublime feeling of elation overwhelms her. However with great effort she springs to her feet and turns to the doorway. With a boisterous shout she exclaims cheerfully as she trys to disguise her tears, "So now all that feeling stuff is out of the way I say its time to start practising. Its been a long time since Clarent faced a worthy blade to trade blows with."

Before Artoria can respond a shout from the kitchen catches her attention.

"Dinner is ready Saber, Mordred -San." Shirou calls merrily before offering helpfully, "I can put a lid on it if you guys need more time."

Smile undiminished, Artoria calls back with undisguised expectation, "No I believe we are done for the moment. Please bring your efforts through. It smells wondrous Shirou ."

"Hey." Mordred protests as her sires settles herself down at the table, crossing her arms in frustration even if her suggestion was only an excuse, "He said we could have more time. Why not have a spar now and have dinner later."

Wagging her finger in disappointment, Artoria chastises lightly with restored calm, "Mordred you should know better. It would be an insult to Shirou`s cooking to not eat it at its prime. Besides to spar without the energy to expend would be of no good to either of us. Hunger is the enemy." She advises sagely.

Before Mordred can even begin to unwrap that odd piece of advice Shirou pops his head through the door.

"More importantly." He offers with an amused shake of the head, his hands full with a large pot, "Saber is a incorrigible glutton who doesn't want to wait any longer than she has too for dinner."

"Shirou that is not true at all." Artoria counters ineffectually as her face burns crimson. "I`ll thank you not to disparage my good name."

"Of course your Highness." Shirou answers playfully as he sets down the pot before retreating to recover more food.

With a huff Artoria shoots back to his retreating form, her tone lacking any real threat," You will pay for that later Shirou."

A distant and muffled "I look forward to it." is all she receives in reply. Deflating slightly at the battle lost, Artoria clears her throat in embarrassment and gestures to the space opposite, "Do not take Shirou seriously in this respect. Please sit down. Once we have recovered from our meal I promise we can begin training."

Still getting used to the pairs interactions, made harder by the knowledge they were in a relationship, Mordred stares in confusion for a moment. Deciding her sires consort was a conversation for another time Mordred has half a mind to continue her protest for the sake of it. Yet her childish whim is soon dispelled as the smell of the stew settles in her nostrils.

"Well there will be plenty of time for sparring later I suppose." Mordred reasons while sitting down as she was bade, her mouth watering a little at the heavily scent. "Red was working hard on it while I hashed things out with father. I guess its the knightly thing to do to enjoy my hosts efforts."

Making herself comfy as Shirou brings in the last of the dishes Mordred eyes the food with brazen anticipation, the smell promising to taste better than she ever dreamed. Allowing Shirou to serve her a plate of the meaty stew and rice she takes a bite from the hearty dish.

In an instant Mordreds taste buds explode with delight. The meal bombarding her with a menagerie of flavours that all blend perfectly together that manages to elevate a simply dish to one of the best she had ever had. So much so that before she knows it the contents are consumed. Yet before she can even utter a single syllable of disappointed she finds her plate refilled as if by magic.

"Dont worry." Shirou assures with good humour as he now moves to refills her sires plate, "Saber is a big eater so I always make enough to feed a small army." He chuckles, the recollection widening his smile, "Im just glad we dont have to pay for things here. I almost became destitute keeping up with her appetite during the grail war. "

Apparently having higher priorities than protecting her good name, namely devouring the next portion, her sire seemingly ignores the remark. Though judging by the slight narrowing of her eyes and rosy cheeks Mordred was certain Shirou was telling the truth.

Seeing her sire demolish another plate and now somewhat fearful of the food running out despite her hosts reassures Mordred joins in. Inhaling the food with as much speed, though with noticeable less grace, than her sire the frantic meal presses on.

"I cant believe im eating dinner with father like this." Mordred muses with a growing sense of contentment, though with no less speed in her consumption of food, "Hell when I came here today I was prepared to kill father. Now...now all I want to do now is protect the bond we have begun to form."

Mordred stops eating for a moment. Her resolve hardening as she promises, "It wont be easy but think we can make it. No we will make it. Defeat is unacceptable". Mordred's eyes focus on her sires. Artoria pauses in her mission, Mordred's intense stare somehow communicating the message despite no words being uttered. "Father Ive come along way since that terrible day. But you better bet that my journey is far from over."

With a proud nod of acknowledgement, Artoria smiles before asking Shirou to refill her plate. A move soon repeated by Mordred as her determination becomes set in stone.

That joy once alien but now becoming common place rises within her as she watched with amusement as her sire consumes another mountain of food without shame. "Father acknowledged me...he-hes even proud of me. More importantly Ive finally begun to understand who they truly are and now know how we ended up the way we did. Father….I was finally able to show you far I had come."

Mordred didnt know why the grail had decided to grant her wish. The knight would just have to chalk it up to to fate. But one thing was for certain. Mordred`s final wish had been fulfilled.

End