The first time he'd seen her, she was just a girl. Twelve years old and bubbly; a little shy, a little cute. Completely naïve to the ways of the shinobi world. He'd been told she was the brightest in the class, but as he observed her gush and fall over herself swooning at the young Uchiha, Kakashi wondered if Iruka had actually been describing her distinct hair and eye colour combination.

She'll need extra watching, he'd thought, slightly irritated with himself. The jinchuuriki and Uchiha had been assigned to him almost immediately after accepting the Hokage's personal request to take on a team that uniquely needed his particular skillset and experience. But it was by his own suggestion that a third member was added to complete the guise of a normal genin team. Uchihas were suspicious by nature and all accounts indicated his new ward was skittish enough to break protocols at the first sign of something suspicious.

From a distance, he watched as the trio bickered, swooned, and ignored each other in turns. An hour passed. The jinchuuriki and girl were mostly trying to engage the Uchiha now, the former in a fight and the latter in a poor attempt at flirting, and were receiving little more than a sneer for their efforts.

Kakashi sighed and slumped back against a tree. Two things were clear from his observations: they were not going to be friends by choice, and it would not be the girl but the Uchiha that was key to building the team dynamic. If he got the young man to follow his lead, the other two would follow.

In retrospect, he mused that he'd at least been right with the first observation.

—

When his eyes met hers on the training field after months of being away on missions, he knew she'd grown into a full-fledged kunoichi. At 16, Sakura displayed the most exceptional chakra control he'd ever seen and wielded it with monstrous force. She'd beamed with pride as both Kakashi and Naruto stared, dumbfounded and amazed. He was going to compliment her mastery of such a powerful jutsu when it occurred to him that he'd contributed nothing to her current accomplishments, besides silently allowing her to leave their already broken team to train under Tsunade, and the guilt kept his mouth shut.

He remembered the disappointment in her eyes when he simply nodded and tousled her hair affectionately. He made a mental note to tell her another time.

—

The first time he saw her, truly saw her for all she'd become, was on the battlefield of the Fourth Shinobi war. He'd been sent to the frontline as commander of the Third Regiment, prepared to die again to hold their position, and suddenly she was there. Standing beside him, confident and sure in her supporting role behind Naruto and Sasuke in the final fight against a god.

Guide and support. Defend and heal. In the grand scheme of Life, these were the roles they'd probably always been meant to play.

Kakashi never expected to survive that day, much less take on the title of Hokage. But Obito had told him it was also his part to play, to safeguard the future generation until they were ready, so he didn't refuse.

From the moment he regained consciousness and opened his eyes, he knew Kakashi of the Sharingan was no more. He'd said as much as his gaze focused on Sakura, who'd caught him and was now settling him into a sitting position on the ground. It had been a long time since he'd seen anything with such perfect clarity and depth. He'd been looking out on the world with one eye for so long, only using both when in battle, that he'd forgotten how much more of everything there actually was. Absently, he reached out and ran his fingers lightly through her hair. His eyes grew wide with muted awe upon discovering that the vibrant strands were actually a mixture of cherry blossom and pinkish rose. And when his gaze was caught by Sakura's, he lost himself in the lush shades of greens swimming like light shining through a canopy of leaves.

"Beautiful," he murmured softly.

"Kakashi-sensei…"

Her concerned tone made him blink and refocus on her, seeing her clearly now and noting the slight blush in her cheeks. He let his hand fall back to his side.

—

When Sakura turned 20 (or was it 21?) she became the most beautiful blushing bride he'd ever seen. She was overflowing with giddy joy, barely able to keep from running the rest of the way up the aisle where her dark groom awaited her. Her childhood dream had finally come true.

It was a small and private affair, but the symbolic and political relevance was not lost on anyone. The wedding was as much about anchoring the Uchiha name to Konoha as it was a statement of Sakura's unyielding determination and fierce loyalty to the ones she loved.

Kakashi watched as she bowed to duty and to honour; and rose as the new Uchiha matriarch.

—

Loyal friend. Exceptional healer. Doting mother and faithful wife. Accomplished jounin. If Kakashi had to list the roles Sakura played on a day-to-day basis in the order of importance, this was how he'd sort it. She played each role to perfection and no one was the wiser. Why would they, when Sakura had, by all accounts, achieved everything she'd ever wanted?

Kakashi rarely saw Sakura alone, her work with the hospital and childrens' clinic keeping her in demand with all sorts of people. But there were a handful of moments— mostly early mornings before dawn, when sleep eluded him and he took to quiet strolls to the memorial and back —when he'd catch sight of her alone. Leaning over her apartment balcony in a thin morning robe, staring wistfully out over the horizon while hugging herself against the cool morning air, she resembled a lonely heroine from the pages of an Icha Icha novel. Unaware that anyone may be looking, her expression was unguarded, tired, and filled with yearning.

Though he and Naruto kept fairly regular correspondence with Sasuke, it was always strictly business. He'd been mildly curious as to what arrangements they'd made to continue their relationship long-distance. Considering the combined skillset of Sasuke and Sakura, it was really only a question of jutsu preference. But seeing her unguarded expression that day, Kakashi realized with dismay that there were no such arrangement.

Sasuke had left her with nothing.

The experienced and hardened shinobi in Kakashi rationalized that the Uchiha was and always would be a targeted man, so it was safer if familial ties were not widely communicated to the rest of the shinobi world. The romantic in Kakashi, however, deeply objected to the situation. He'd tried on a few occasions to encourage the younger man to communicate something towards Sakura, if only a passing inquiry on her well-being as he reported on the latest acquired intel. But Sasuke never felt compelled to and knew that, because of their proximity to her, Kakashi and Naruto would always obligingly mention her without his asking.

He felt guilty that he had nothing to pass on to Sakura after contact with him. It had never felt right. Yet Sakura never seemed too upset by it. Like Sasuke, she seemed content to hear that her spouse was well and didn't pursue further information. Unlike Sasuke, she clearly struggled with the disappointment and with the desire to send personal messages.

It was the small details, at first. As weeks turned into months turned into years, the fire and enthusiasm that once burnt strong within Sakura seemed to dim and quiet. Though her smile continued to shine bright, as time passed the light rarely reached her eyes. When once there was bounce to her step, there now seemed to be days when she had to drag her feet along.

She would appear on some days looking completely exhausted, mentally and emotionally. On those days it was easy to blame her condition on overwork and the demands of being a single parent. Her friends and colleagues offered help when they could, conscious of the fact that she was the only one from their generation raising a child alone. On a handful of occasions, even Kakashi had used his title to order her home for mandatory R&R.

It probably shouldn't have been such a surprise, then, when the village gossip mill inevitably bit into a juicy rumour of an extramarital Uchiha affair. It had made Kakashi's ears bleed the first time he heard it. Naruto was so angry he loudly threatened violence on further rumour-mongering in the hospital (where, Kakashi had to give him credit, was the likely source of said rumour).

The gossiping stopped abruptly after that, but damage to Sakura's reputation had been done. Eyes would steal glances at her wherever she went; most with pity, some with scorn, and a regretful few with unsavoury leers.

Kakashi had quietly assigned an ANBU on Sakura to scare off any potential threats. He convinced himself it was so she didn't have to deal with any unpleasant advances that may also, inadvertently, spark the gossip mill again. But if he was honest with himself, it was because the image of her lonely figure on the balcony began to haunt him.

—

Sakura was there at one of the quarterly meetings held in the Hokage Tower, representing and reporting on the medical division. It was a tedious but necessary affair meant to ensure all the captains and division heads were aware of all the going-ons in the village. As the hour dragged into two, Kakashi half-followed the discussion and let his gaze wander the room. He took in the faces of the best shinobi Konoha had to offer, giving a nod to those who met his passing gaze, until at last it settled on her.

Kakashi frowned and tilted his head more clearly towards her. He'd seen her enter with the other medics at the start of the meeting, but he'd been finalizing details with Shikamaru and didn't get to catch her eye before she ducked into a seat in the far end of the room. He'd thought she looked tired again and probably wanted to stay out of sight to close her eyes a bit. But now as he looked at her properly, he saw it was quite a bit more serious than that. Her hair was matted and her eyes bloodshot. She sat hunched and rigid in her seat, both hands clenching large chunks of fabric from her dress in her lap. She was sucking on her bottom lip and concentrating very hard on the papers in front of her. Kakashi's eyes widened in slow comprehension as her eyes glazed and began to water.

When the first tear silently fell on a piece of paper, Kakashi pushed abruptly from his seat and stood. All heads turned to him in surprise. All, that is, except one.

He cleared his throat. "My, ah… the thing is… I think we can all agree the rest of today's agenda can be memo'd, right?" Kakashi looked around the room and, to his relief, saw several members lean forward with cautious eagerness and nod. There were also a fare share of sighs and face palming.

Shikamaru grumbled something under his breath as he quickly looked over the remaining topics. Sure enough, they were not of any great importance compared to the prospect of getting out a full hour or two early. He stretched his arms up and crossed them behind his head. "Sure, why not?"

Kakashi's eyes crinkled in a smile. "Then as Hokage I'm pleased to say: meeting adjourned!"

The mood in the room spiked instantly as people got up with a laugh and made their way out. In less than a minute, the room was empty save for two occupants. No one wanted to linger in case the Rokudaime was just joking— it wouldn't have been the first time.

Sakura had gotten up with the others but lingered near the door until they were alone. She wiped at her damp cheek with the back of her arm and forced herself to look up as Kakashi walked towards her. She gave him a shaky smile. "Thank you."

Slowly, so as not to startle her, he reached out and touched her arm lightly. "What's going on?"

She shook her head and looked away. "Nothing."

Nothing to bother you with. Nothing not everyone already knows and suspects.

"Sakura…" he sighed and ran a hand roughly through his hair. "You don't break into tears in a room full of shinobi elites over nothing."

Her head bowed in embarrassment and her entire being seemed to shrink in on itself. "I know," she murmured. "I'm sorry."

Her reaction was too much like a wounded animal for Kakashi to let drop. With some effort and a lot of awkwardness, he closed the gap between them and pulled her into an embrace. She offered surprisingly little resistance, whimpering quietly as she was crushed against his vest. "It's Sasuke," Kakashi whispered into her hair, "isn't it?"

Her whole body tensed and trembled in confirmation. She was practically crumbling in his arms. Instinctively, Kakashi tightened the embrace.

"I almost wish it was another woman," she confessed, her voice rasped and bitter. "Then I'd have someone to hate." Besides myself.

Kakashi felt her fingers curl into his sleeves, locking herself in his embrace. Instinct told him to stay silent and still.

"I would've followed him anywhere," she cried softly.

He ignored his instinct and tightened the embrace. "I know."

Kakashi didn't realise just how tight he'd been holding her until she pushed away from him using some force. Green eyes bright with unshed tears looked up at him in question.

"Why?" Why didn't he let me?

The onslaught of raw emotion directed his way is overwhelming and a bit frightening. Kakashi swallowed hard. A moment passed. His visible features softened and, before he could really think about what an appropriate gesture would be, cupped the side of her face lightly with his left hand. Her eyes fluttered closed as she reflexively leaned into his touch.

Because he loves you, Kakashi thought would be the kind and expected response.

Because yours is a light that should not be tainted by the darkness he dwells in, was an elaborated but still favourable response.

Because he's a damn fool, was on the tip of Kakashi's tongue.

When her eyes opened and implored him once more, his mind went momentarily blank and he had to swallow back his discomfort again.

"I don't know." He said at length, and pulled her back into his embrace. He felt the moment her will broke and she began to cry. Inwardly, he cringed at what had clearly been a lacking response.

The sun set. Minutes turned into an hour, turned into two. He continued to hold her as the room darkened around them.

Her trembling stopped after the first hour. Muffled sobs became quiet sniffles against his damp and rumpled vest after the second. Sakura eventually became aware of the peaceful stillness in the room and, oddly enough, in the body she was snugly wrapped against. She shifted in the embrace to look up at him and found his eyes closed.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Half-lidded grey eyes gazed down at her sleepily. "Hmn?" It had been a while since she last used that honorific with his name.

Had he been napping? Sakura chuckled softly and wiped at her damp cheek. "Your vest is ruined."

"Ah," he shrugged and tried not to yawn. "I guess it is."

She pulled away and stepped back somewhat reluctantly. Kakashi slouched back on the table end and unsnapped the buckles on either side of his vest. As he pulled the ruined fabric over his head, some of his shirt went with it, revealing most of his lower abdomen and stomach. The combined light of the moon and city lamps streaming into the room outlined in vivid detail toned muscles and a deep navel set in a chiselled stomach. Sakura felt blood rush to her cheeks and ears as she belatedly averted her eyes.

Of course he would be fit. Really fit. Kakashi's trademark poor posture, like the mask he wore as a second skin, kept secret a devastatingly beautiful figure from the world.

Sakura reminded herself that the man before her was an elite shinobi. The role of Hokage, with all the danger and responsibility it entailed, would have only sharpened rather than softened him over the years. She'd leaned into his strong yet comforting build for the better part of the last two hours and never even realised…

She clasped her hands in front of her, suddenly feeling awkward and nervous.

Kakashi threw the vest behind him, smoothed down his shirt, and shucked his hands into his pants pockets. An odd tension now filled the room and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"I should go," Sakura said. She didn't wait for a response as she turned on her heel to make for the door.

"Sakura."

She froze, fingers hovering just over the doorknob. Her body tensed with dread. Even after having a good cry in his arms, she wasn't ready to talk about her personal woes to anyone. Not yet. Sakura didn't trust herself to speak. "Hm?"

Kakashi chuckled softly and gestured to the wall beside her. "Could you turn on the lights?"

Her body visibly relaxed and she flipped the switch on the wall. He groaned and blinked at the sudden brightness that flooded the room.

"Thank you," she said quietly, and turned just enough for him to glimpse a profile of her face and a small smile. Then she disappeared.

When he could no longer feel her presence in the building, Kakashi rubbed his temple and sighed. Talking would've probably done her some good. But when she'd tensed so defensively at the sound of her name, he'd chickened out.

The heartache of being let down by a loved one was something he understood well. His father had left him in worse circumstances, but he recognized the same anger and self-doubt that once consumed him now affecting Sakura. The loneliness, too, was an old friend he knew well.

Maybe it was the way she'd chosen to endear him with his old title, but Kakashi suddenly felt obligated to help her in some way. There had always been some residual guilt over how little he'd actually put into the role as her sensei. Trying to keep the Uchiha and jinchuuriki out of trouble had taken up the majority of his attention during their brief time as Team 7. It was mostly dumb luck and only a little bit of good timing, as far as Kakashi was concerned, that he managed to keep her alive all this time. And while not dying was the bare minimum needed to fulfil the role of a team captain, it said nothing about his role as her sensei. He'd never earned the honorific; much less her continued use of it after all these years.

He lingered a few moments longer in the off chance she'd have second thoughts and come back, but didn't hold his breath. Then, when he was sure he was all alone in the tower, he went into his office and slipped out the window. Shadowy blurs of the Rokudaime's private ANBU entourage followed him the rest of the way home.

—