"She exhibits anti-social behaviors." The social worker said pulling at the tie that was far to tight on his body, his enormous bear-like frame, stretching the suit to its absolute limits while the small child-sized chair he was using managed to support his bulk. In nearly any other room he'd dominate the space, but in a room made for children 'teddy' was simply gargantuan.

Shota could only image how uncomfortable the man was based on his own growing pain. The chair was too small forcing his knees up and the table far to low to be of any practical use for any normal sized person. But it wasn't a room for adults. It was for children.

A room that had been cleared specifically for them by the daycare while they talked about his charge.

Eri.

"Within the first fifteen minutes of play time she growled at two other children that wanted to play with her. She showed no interest in any of the activities, opting instead to stare out the window and poke her horn. During snack time she ate only an apple and the sandwich crust that other children had removed, despite having her own lunch." The bear removed his glasses that were several sizes too small for his massive frame and folded them with grunt. "I spoke to the staff and they confirmed this is not just an off day for Eri."

The bear righted himself, bulking up his massive frame. "Mr. Aizawa, I'm well aware of your status as a hero and as a teacher at U.A. however, I must focus on what is best for the children I am assigned to. And as Eri's legal guardian you are expected to provide for her." Teddy pinched his nose and snorted into something close to a sigh. "I'm forced to ask how Eri's home life is."

"It's in the file," this whole meeting was nothing but a waste of time, they could groan all they wanted but they couldn't take Eri from them. And she was making progress, it was only here, in this happy hellscape that things were different here. "She spends her day surrounded by future pro heroes."

"Yes, I see that." The frown that was etched into the bear's face was hard to miss. "But I have been in this industry for longer than you have been a hero. I know my field as well as you know your quirk. And the numbers do not lie. Heroes, especially single heroes, make for poor parents."

Teddy snorted, "Some nonsense about protecting their children by distancing themselves or just simply putting the greater good first. It's almost like they forget that children are that greater good and future they seek to protect."

It was a fair statement. Several of his own students that were legacies were just now recovering emotionally. "You're aware-"

"I'm aware of many things ," the bear shuffled the papers. "From Eri's history, redacted though it was, the importance you and several of your students place on her, and the fact that she is under U.A.'s protection, it is for those reasons that I have continued to give you the benefit of the doubt. However, should her situation not improve, I will make certain that she is removed from your protection."

"Oh," he blinked, his eyes feeling dry as he looked out the window to see Eri standing next to the door wearing her back-pack and just waiting for him. She wasn't talking to the other kids, she wasn't doing anything. He didn't want to lose her. "What should I do?"

"As sexist as it is to say in this day and age, she might need a woman's touch."

XXXX

"Thanks, dad!" Eri mumbled bouncing in her seat eagerly eyeballing the plain peanut butter and banana sandwich he made her for dinner. It wasn't the best dinner, and she got it more often than he cared to admit. But it was easy and she liked it. She hummed taking her first bite, all smiles and cheer now that she was home.

It was so strange, Eri was so bright and cheerful when she was at U.A. especially compared to when she first arrived here, perhaps it was his fault for pushing her into the daycare too early. She could barely socialize with the students here, only trusting Mirio, Nejire, and Izuku really. But that was why he wanted to get her into preschool, that was the environment she needed to be in to learn to socialize.

Not stuck alone with him. No doubt she learned to growl at people from him.

Additionally, both Mirio and Nejire were graduating within the month and Izuku was training harder than most to master his quirk. The aftermath of him and Katsuki going at it were scattered all around the training course All Might used. It wasn't fair to ask them any of them to spend extra time with Eri just to try and socialize her.

Maybe that social worker was right.

"I'm," He paused, every time she called him dad, he wanted to correct her. It was Nejire's fault, apparently, they all watched Lion king together and she put the idea in Eri's head. It stuck. And he couldn't bring himself to unstick it. He was just Eri's legal guardian. He sat down across from her taking a bite of his own sandwich. "You need to not growl at the other kids."

The smile the sandwich had put on her face vanished and she looked at her plate, shifting in her seat. "I know. But, but, they wouldn't leave me alone."

"Why did you want to be left alone?"

Eri shrugged, "I dunno."

Typical six-year-old response. "I'll talk to the teachers, if you ever want to just be alone you can just ask them, so no more growling okay?"

"Mmkay." Maybe it was the fact that she was with kids two years younger than her and not her own age. But what was two years? He could barely tell the difference between the first years and third years.

Why was he the one looking after her again? He wasn't even technically qualified to teach students.

"Dad," Eri spoke softly, the crumbs of her sandwich sat on her plate. "I'm done."

"Okay, you can go play, or watch T.V."

She nodded hopping off her chair and waddled over to him, hugging him around the waist. Right. That was why. Emotional attachment.

"I'll be in there in an hour to read you a story and send you to bed." At the very least he knew how to do things like that. Even if all the characters he made sounded grumpy. "So make sure you pick out a good one."

"Mmmkay!" She half stumbled half ran into her room.

An hour would give him some time to think, a bit of time to breath and try to figure out this problem. It was the worst kind of problems, the kind that he couldn't deal with on his own. He needed help, he needed someone he could trust.

"Shit," he swore grabbing at his phone and flipping through the small list of contacts. It seemed like even All Might had a bigger network than he did despite how introverted and mysterious he tried to be. The pool of women that he knew and trusted was already small, and many of them were just ill-suited to what Eri would need. Whatever that was.

Old acquaintances like Haruno were to busy. Midnight had her own relationships and was not exactly the type of women he wanted around Eri more than necessary. That left him with his best last chance. Letting out a breath he paused dread falling over him as he stared at his contact.

Joke. He didn't even have her number on his phone so he could talk to her. He had it on there so he could know not to pick it up. Sure she didn't call him often, and she only prank called him once, but it was better safe than sorry. Still, Joke was many things that he was not, she was energetic, sociable, great with kids of all ages, and a woman.

No, there had to be somebody else. Anybody else. He had to know somebody that could help him with Eri and leave his own sanity intact.

Fuck.

There wasn't.

Joke had all the right qualifications. He could trust her. Hell, she was one of the few people that he would trust with his own life - she might be his emergency contact for the school - as much as he'd hate to admit it. It was worth a chance. He could bear Joke if she was what Eri needed.

And Joke wasn't always so bad if he asked she might tone it down.

He selected her contact and opened it up in messenger.

"Joke, I want to have a serious talk. No jokes."

The notification that she had seen it popped up, followed by dots showing that she was typing.

"Give me five minutes!"

He half expected her to respond with a joke about her name being Joke and he said no jokes, he took that as a positive sign. Besides, Joke was a teacher now, she could clearly be responsible when she needed to be.

He got halfway to the sink to do the dishes when there was a rhythmic knocking on the door.

"What now?" He half growled, if one of his students did something stupid again then he was going to scream. Except not really. Unless it was Izuku growing another quirk out of his ass. Maybe the kid's quirk wasn't actually super strength but he had a quirk that let him grow new quirks. He was half surprised such a quirk didn't exist already.

Opening the door he saw not one of his students, but Joke.

"Sup," She waved at him, her breath was heavy as she rested an arm on the door frame like she had been there the whole time. She wasn't dressed in her usual attire, rather she was wearing a suit a black suit that was fit and tailored to her. The undershirt was a clean white, and the only thing that stuck out as remotely Joke like was the yellow tie that was covered in smiley faces. She winked at him, her green hair free from her usual orange bandana. "You called?"

"I texted." He corrected stepping inside to let her in. "And I meant over the phone, what are you even doing here?"

"Oh," Her face flushed, as she took the first few steps inside. Her eyes grew wide as she soaked in his living space in the U.A. dorms. It was larger than the rooms his students got, larger still with the addition of Eri's room, but he had his own living room, kitchen, office, bathroom, and bedroom.

"Wow, this is the first time I've been inside your apartment," she spun around arms spread out wide as she looked into the kitchen. "I was honestly expecting something a bit less normal. Like a pile of trash, or maybe like six cats."

"Joke." He groaned. This was already a mistake. Just talking to her was making him ready to go to sleep. "Why are you here and what's with the outfit."

"What?" she tugged at her jacket looking down at it. "Can't a girl dress up for once? If you must know I had an interview nearby and was walking home when you messaged me." She shrugged taking an exaggerated step into his kitchen. "And since you said - oh banana - you wanted to have a serious talk I decided I'd give you the chance to confess your love to me in person."

Joke emerged from the kitchen, her tie already half undone as she had a peeled banana in one hand snacking on it like she was a monkey.

"I also said no jokes." He rolled his eyes, walking over to the kitchen table and placing his head in his hands.

"Who said I was Joking?" Joke took the seat across from him, eyeing Eri's half empty straw cup. She crossed her legs, showing off her flats. "Whose cup is this? I knew you liked cats but not hello kitty."

"That's Eri's," he sighed sitting back up. "She's who-"

"Whose Eri?" Joke raised an eyebrow taking another bit of the banana, fishing it off and tossing the peel over her shoulder. It landed on the trash in a useless display of skill.

"She's-"

"Dad?" Eri came running out from the hallway hugging him around the waist again and pressing a book to his chest. "It's almost story time. I want this one."

Joke's eyes went wide, both hands covering her mouth as she stared at Eri and then at him. Her smile grew, peeking out from behind her hands as she watched in relative silence.

"Okay, I'll be in there soon." He placed a hand on Eri's back and took the book from her. Some It was some children's book that Izuku had gotten her, she picked it few days since they started doing bedtime stories. "Can you get ready for bed on your own? I need to talk to a friend?"

Eri turned to look at Joke, her eyes growing wide and she took a step back. Still not used to new people.

"Hi," Joke's voice was surprisingly soft as she slid from the chair like it was never there. Her hand extended halfway out towards Eri, palm opened towards the ceiling and a large pleasant smile on her face. "I'm Emi, I'm a friend of your dads. What's your name?"

"Eri," Eri half whispered still clutching onto his shirt.

Joke's smile turned into one of shock. "Wow! Our names are really similar aren't they? An Eri and Emi, isn't that neat? Hey," Joke took a half waddle forward, still crouching just above the ground, her hands now firmly placed on her knees. "What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?"

Eri shrugged, her red eyes transfixed on Joke.

"A dino-snore!" Joke gave herself a small snort of a laugh.

He resisted the urge to groan until he heard Eri's soft laugh.

"That's silly," Eri stomped her feet, smiling a bit as her grip on his shirt lessoned.

"How do you talk to a giant?" Joke stomped on the ground one foot at a time like she was some lumbering hulk, hands spread out to the side.

"By yelling?" Eri asked also stomping.

"No, you use big words!"

Eri laughed again, her tongue sliding out from her teeth, a big smile on her face. It had been a while since she had smiled like that. And Joke had done it in less than five minutes with two jokes that made his heart weep. And she did it without using her quirk. She wasn't just his last and only option, she was probably the best he could have asked for.

"Alright," Joke extended her hand out to Eri, this time she took it, and a ginger handshake was shared between the two. "It's nice to meet you Eri, do you want me to help your dad read you your story?"

"That-" he began.

"Yes please," Eri nodded her head enthusiastically. That sparkle in her eyes silenced his protests.

"Then go get ready!" Joke pulled her lips showing off her absolutely immaculate teeth. "And make sure to brush your smile bones!"

"Kay!" Eri, spun on her heel bolting towards the bathroom.

"I haven't seen her that excited to brush." He muttered when Eri vanished into the bathroom pulling the door behind her shut. "How'd you do it?"

"You just need to know the trick," Joke stood to brush her knees as she took her seat back.

"I'm not good with kids," he admitted running a hand through his hair, it was greasy enough to remind him he needed to shower.

Joke shrugged, pulling one leg up into her lap to pop off one of her flats, that really should have come off at the door. "You're not good anything living." she pulled off her other shoe, haphazardly tossing them towards his door. "Except maybe cats, but you're basically a cat so it works out."

"Fair."

"Okay, but seriously," Joke's face went firm and she pointed a hand at him her eyes sharp and focused on him. She was about to say something stupid. "When was I pregnant with our child and why don't I remember it? Especially the part where we had what I assume was mind blowing s-"

"Joke-" he stressed, feeling the growing headache that

"Fine, but where's Eri from? I know she's not actually yours." Joke rested her head on her hand finger scratching her cheek. "For so many reasons. But I never really took your for the fatherly type."

"Eri is a special case," he said softly folding his hands on the table. "She has a unique quirk, one that I need to keep an eye on. But beyond that, I'm now her legal guardian, and she-"

"She's wormed her way into your heart hasn't she?" Joke smiled, before clicking her teeth in mock anger. "Darn, I'm jealous of a five year old."

She wasn't wrong.

"Is she why you needed to talk to me?" Joke sat back up straight, looking him dead in the eyes, the intensity she had that made her useful in the field and a fantastic teacher flared up in her eyes. He had never doubted her abilities and drive as a hero, she gave her all to everything. He just wished she didn't do it with her jokes, pranks, and general ability to be an annoyance.

He nodded. "Yea, it's like you said, I'm not good with people, let alone kids. She's anti-social at day-care, has problems listening and just doesn't engage. And," he sighed, the words were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't know what they were. "I don't know how to help her. But I think that you'd help."

"You're aware that I'm a teacher and that we work the same hours," Joke pointed between the two of them her smile growing. "And that in order to spend time with Eri I'll be also spending time with you?"

"I know." He placed his hands on the table staring her in the eyes. "But I need your help."

"Alright, I'll do it." She waved her hand like it was no big deal.

"Really?" he perked up sitting straight in his seat, eyebrow raised at her. "You're not going to try and get something out of this?"

She snorted crossing her arms in front of her chest, "Really Eraser? Who do you think I am? You asked for my help and you're my -" She held a finger up spinning it about as she tried to find the right word. "Friend, so I'm going to help you. Besides, Eri's cute, and I get to have an excuse to see you every single day."

Oh god, he hadn't thought about that.

"And I do expect you to feed me every so often while I'm here helping you take care of Eri." Joke's smile grew two sizes as she stood, pulling on his arm and grabbing the story from the table. "Now come on, you can be the princess, I'll be the prince."

AN: I saw fanart. I needed to write it. Now I have this.