Time's Arrow

Chapter 1

Who's That Girl?

This story is set during May of Fifth Grade… mostly.

Dino Land. The scariest place on Earth. Well, second scariest after school. But, today, there was no competition, as it was the day of the annual teachers' convention. Supposedly, the annual retreat was an opportunity for teachers to learn about new methods and techniques. The students had their own suspicions. They pictured a sort of Bacchanal, featuring debaucheries unseen since the age of Caligula's Rome. In any case, school was closed for the day, and every year, Dino Land took advantage of the fact by scheduling its opening day to coincide with the conference, offering half-price admission to maximize its young clientele. Today, we turn our attention to one particular member of that clientele.

"That'll be $29.99," the ticket-seller absently demanded. The subject of the bored teenage boy's demand was a young girl, recently turned eleven. The girl was not what anyone would call pretty, least of all herself. She had a bulbous nose, ears that hung a bit too low, and a mouth set in an almost permanent scowl. Her blond hair stuck out in two stiff pigtails that seemed to defy gravity. Even her best feature, a pair of sapphire-blue-eyes, were framed by a thick, continuous eyebrow. She glared out from under that brow at the world, as if daring it to cross her.

-HELGA-

"I don't think so, Pizzaface," I replied with a smirk, fishing something out of my wallet. "Read it and weep. I got me a lifetime free pass, bucko."

The ticket seller glared right back, not used to kids talking back. He took the pass. "Helga G. Pataki, huh? What's the G for?"

"Better men than you have tried to find out. Now make with the admission, Zit Boy."

"It's a medical condition," he whined, his voice cracking. "Okay… hologram checks out… ultraviolet watermark checks out… microprinted security code checks out…. Fiber-optic chip checks out… It's legit. You can go in," he said, handing it back.

"Great, we're all done here?" I asked. "Got to exercise the tiny bit of authority you have? You feel like a big boy now?"

"Y-yes," the ticketseller whimpered, eager to get the scary kid to move on.

"Good," I said. "I'm glad we had this moment. Maybe one day it'll give you the courage to speak to a girl your own age."

"F-for your information, I have a girlfriend!" the ticket guy called after me.

Oh, I bet you do, In Canada. In your imagination. I sighed deeply to myself at the thought. Yeah, right, Helga, like your romantic life is any better. Seven years and you still can't tell him how you feel. Not without freaking out and walking it back.

The thought dampening my mood, I tucked the pass back into my wallet. At least one good thing had come out of my short-lived career as Johnny Stitches' "It Girl". With Bob's beeper business circling the crapper, there was no way I would've been even able to get even a half-price admission out of him. Not that getting money out of that tightwad was easy even when times were good…

Well, at least I was in, and soon, I'd be seeing Arnold. The merest thought of it briefly drove the dark clouds out of my brain and allowed the light to flood in. Oh, my beloved, if only you knew the joy you bring with even your merest presence. O, would that I could overcome my timid heart and speak, nay, shout from the rooftops, the love I feel for you! Would that my fear would fade and I could declare the rapturous joy I feel at the sight of that wild cornflower hair, those dreamy, half-lidded verdant eyes, and that noble ovate cranium! O, how my heart doth leap at the very thought of-

And, lost in such rapturous thoughts, once again, I found herself colliding with someone. It wasn't the first time. It wasn't even the twentieth. Criminy. You'd think by now I'd learn to watch where I was going.

"Watch where you're going, F-" I would've finished "Football-Head", it was reflex at this point, seeing as he was almost always the one I was colliding with. This time, however, it wasn't the case. The person in question this time was a girl around my age, dressed in a blue plaid shirt, loose-fitting jeans, and heavy boots, with a mass of messy blonde hair under a blue knit cap.

"Sorry," the girl said brusquely, turning away.

"Yeah, you better be," I called after her. I never was one to just let things drop.

"Look, I said I was sorry, okay? You don't have to make a federal case out of it!" the girl said, whirling to face me. "I don't have the time to deal with this!"

I sneered. "Why? 'Cause you're scared, Princess?"

The girl smirked. "No… it's 'cause I'm pretty sure I'd break you in half."

The sneer left my face. No girl ever talked back to me like that. Except Big Patty, of course, and she had the size and the bulk to back it up. "Says who," I said, glaring.

"Says The Wrath," the new girl replied, raising her left fist. "And The Fury's got her back," she continued, raising her right.

She named her fists. I thought I was the only one who did that. I was unsure how to proceed at this point. Bluster usually worked, but this girl wasn't being intimidated, and I had the sneaking suspicion she could back up her tough talk.

In fact, looking at this girl felt strangely like looking into some sort of distorted mirror. A mirror that reflected not an image, but an attitude, an air of "mess with me at your own peril."

"You're all right," I finally conceded, actually impressed at finding a girl who could stand up to me. "You got a name, Mystery Girl?"

"Trudy," she replied, offering her hand for a shake. "You?"

"Helga," I answered, taking hold. The new girl's eyebrow shot up at the response. I guess my reputation precedes me, I thought proudly.

"That's… not exactly a common name," she said uneasily. "I only know one other Helga, and she's my…" She paused, as if considering something.

"Your…" I prompted.

"It's… it's not important," Trudy deflected. "Look, I gotta go. I got separated from my friends and I really need to find them, okay?"

"Yeah, fair enough," I said. "I'm supposed to meet my friends by the fountain anyway. Smell ya later, Trudy."

"Yeah, okay, bye," the girl said hastily, scurrying off. Yeesh. That had gotten weird fast. I usually have that kind of effect on people, but not when I'm trying to be friendly. She'd been perfectly willing to stand up to me when I was ready to knock her block off, so why was she suddenly all squirrely around me now?

Eh… probably didn't matter, it wasn't like I was ever gonna see the girl again. She probably went to a completely different school. It wasn't like us PS118 kids were the only ones taking advantage of half-price day. Practically every kid in Hillwood would be here today.

Speaking of… I was gonna be late for the gang's meeting if I didn't get a move on. A late start on today, of all days, would ruin all our plans. I made my way to the fountain, hoping I hadn't been delayed too much.

Yep, they were all still there. There was no mistaking the dark brown spire that was Geraldo's hair. He'd started angling the top lately, but it was still ridiculously tall and stupid-looking. Jeez… what'd Pheebs see in that guy?

"All right, dorks, let's get this show on the road!" I declared upon arrival. "Pinkboy, step away from the Tar Taffy stand!"

"Aw, but I'm hungry!" complained Harold.

"Yeah, well, stuff your face after we go on the rides, tubbo, I ain't cleanin' your puke outta my hair. Especially not sticky puke. Princess! Enough selfies!"

"Just one more," Rhonda said, posing in front of the fountain. "I simply can not disappoint my Instagraph subscribers."

Yeah, all, what, five of them? "Criminy, this is gonna be a long day. C'mon, ya bozos, we gotta get a move on!"

"Sheesh, Helga," Gerald interjected dismissively. "What's the big hurry?"

"The big hurry, Tall Hair boy, is The Raptor."

"The Raptor?" asked Stinky, confused. "What in tarnation is that?"

"Boy howdy, Stinky, you haven't heard about The Raptor?" Sid asked incredulously. "It's only the newest, most awesomest ride in the whole park!"

"I heard it's got eleven individual loops," Iggy said.

"I heard it hits speeds of over eighty miles an hour," added Nadine excitedly.

"Well, I heard it's so scary, they have a defibrillator on hand in case someone's heart needs to be restarted," Rhonda commented.

"Actually, that's a common misconception," Phoebe interjected. "What a defibrillator actually does is stop an abnormally fast heart so it can resume at a normal-"

"Not the time, Pheebs. Point is, we gotta get over there right now or the line's gonna be so long that by the time we get on we'll be in college! Now, is this everybody?" I looked around. Arnold was nowhere to be seen.

"Arnold's running late," Gerald replied, "and Eugene… well, he's out for the day." He shook his head. "Mmm-mmm-mmm, he's gotta be the only guy who can get a broken leg and a concussion at the face-painting booth."

"I'm a kitty…" Eugene groggily declared as he was loaded into the ambulance.

"Well, we can't wait. Every minute we delay is twenty more in line." Forgive me my love… passion is one thing, but I am NOT blowing a chance at the Raptor. "Football-Head's on his own."

-TRUDY-

It was a coincidence.

It had to be a coincidence.

I mean, statistically, there had to be more than one person named Helga in the world, right? Because, otherwise, that would mean I've been…

…no, no, that's crazy talk. It's all a coincidence. It has to be. As for everything else… probably the only reason I can't find Akiko, Riva and Courtney is because they're running around like crazy looking for me!

Yeah, that had to be it. If I stop looking so hard and just stay in one place long enough, I'm sure they'll find me. Of course, I could probably just go to the kiddie section where Mom and Dad are and sort this out, but do I really need to? I'm a big girl. I can handle this.

Ugh… this was just supposed to be a fun day at Dino Land. Hang out with my friends, ride The Raptor one last time before it gets decommissioned… but no, everything went south when we bumped into those two weirdos. There was this old guy who looked like he stepped out of a Steampunk fair and his friend in the shades and tracksuit. They were arguing, the old guy dropped something, it rolled toward me, there was a flash, and suddenly they and all my friends were gone, but I was still there, seemingly exactly where I'd been. Had they been warped somewhere else somehow? Mom dealt with this kind of weird stuff all the time, but me… I'm still a rookie. I had to be careful. Especially in a crowded place like this. The rules were clear… stay discreet.

So, the plan, then, was to stay here , in the general area between the Pterodactyl Egg Cups and the Jurassic Bumper Cars, and wait until someone found me. Fun. I couldn't even go on any of the rides lest they miss me. Nothing to do but watch the crowd and be not entertained by the antics of Stevie Stego, one of the park's mascots.

Still I should probably at least check in with my mom, right? I fished my B-Phone Z out of my pocket (ancient, but it got the job done). The transparent beveled rectangle woke up as it read my genetic signature and displayed its home screen, but also a "NETWORK NOT FOUND" message. Weird, I should at least be able to get 7G coverage in a major population center like this. Did that device damage my phone too?

Maybe this particular area was a dead spot. I started moving around to try to find a signal, but distracted, I bumped into someone behind me. "Oh, sorry," I apologized.

"No, it's okay, it's my fault," a kind-sounding voice replied. "You look like you're having trouble, can I help?"

"No biggie, my phone's just all gorked up is all… I was just trying to get a signal. But I guess this whole area's coverage is down or something." I put my phone away and turned to face the helpful stranger. "Thanks, anyway…"

"Arnold," he replied. Funny coincidence. First I meet someone with the same name as my mom, and then I meet someone with the same name as—

My jaw dropped as his face came into view. His disproportionately large, uniquely football-shaped face.

My dad's face.

Everything was starting to click into place now. Oddly-dressed strangers, my friends' disappearance, that strange girl with my mom's name (who, now that I think of it, kinda looked more than a little like her), the complete lack of cel coverage, and now this.

It wasn't my friends that ha disappeared. It was me. And I hadn't been sent to another place… I'd been sent back in time.

No. I was definitely not ready for this.

A.N.: So, yeah, the original plan was to do the Ladybug crossover, but I changed my mind.

Disclaimer: Only Trudy, Akiko, Courtney and Riva are mine. Everything else is created by Craig Bartlett and owned by Viacom, except for a couple of characters that I hint at this chapter. Free hugs if you can guess who they are. :)

Up next: Family Reunion