There might have been a time in Peeta's life when he cared about trivial things like when he would eat and where he would live when he was older. He couldn't remember a time like that. Peeta Mellark was homeless and had no money.
He was fine with that, he had nothing to complain about, really. The people around him in District 12 were generous in their giving to him, giving him kind looks. They gave him some of the little food they had, and sometimes clothing. He was grateful. He wasn't one to complain.
But there was one thing he thought about every day, about how this life had taken one thing away from him. He had no home, no money, and didn't go to school. And he remembered that girl with the dark hair and sharp gray eyes whom he would now never get a chance with, because really, how many girls to homeless eighteen year old guys get?
He would sit in a lonely alley, just thinking about what he would do if he still went to school. He would try to talk to her, get to know her, take her out on a date. But he knew he was fooling himself. He had seen her out with Gale, and could only assume they were together. He could tell Gale wanted them to be, even if they weren't, and it was only a mater of time before he asked.
Peeta put his head in his hands, remembering his last conversation with her, almost ten years prior.
"Hi," he had introduced himself to her on the first day of third grade. He had finally steeled up the nerves that had been too afraid for the four previous years.
She looked up at him with those dark eyes and didn't smile. Peeta knew he was a goner again.
"Hello...?"
"I'm Peeta," he said, growing less confident by the second.
"Um, hi," she said, and she looked uncomfortable but curious.
"I just wanted to come talk to you because you looked lonely," he said kindly.
She frowned. "I'm not lonely."
"Well, nobody was talking to you so I wanted to."
"Maybe I like being alone," she snapped, and he had to admire how spitfire she was. He would leave her alone then, if that's what she wanted.
"But nobody likes being alone," he said innocently.
"Well I do, and you're annoying me," she glared at him.
"Not possible," Peeta told her boldly and smiled at her. "Everyone always says how charming I am."
Katniss roller her eyes at him. "I bet." But there was a small smile on her face, if he wasn't imagining it. He then took a deep breath.
"I liked your singing," and then he bolted over to his desk and put his head down. He didn't look back to see Katniss blushing furiously and staring at him in awe, wondering why he would remember that, she hadn't sung since Kindergarten.
Peeta started at his hands and not for the first time, wondered why the world was so cruel. He didn't think he had done anything to deserve this. Then again, he technically didn't deserve much, but it would have been nice if someone cared about him.
He thought again of Katniss and snorted to himself. He was a pathetic man. Katniss was happy without him and all he ever did was think of her face, albeit beautiful, but he had no right to. He sighed and stood. Might as well go for a walk, clear his head. He walked out of the alleyway and into the bright sun. It was a beautiful day. He wished he had paints to capture it with. His hands were itching to do something, but everywhere he had tried, nobody wanted to hire a poor boy who used to be a merchant. They assumed he couldn't do anything and didn't attempt to see if he had any talents, he wasn't worth their time.
He hadn't seen how discriminatory the district was towards poorer, lesser off people until he was a part of the poor population. He didn't realize quite how lucky he was to have a full meal every day until it was taken away from him, he thought as he walked along the road. He just assumed everyone was treated somewhat equally. Apparently not.
Peeta paused, as he realized he was so lost in thought he hadn't noticed where he was going until now. He was stopped right in front of the old bakery. He looked through the window at the cakes and felt a pang in his heart. He missed it. He missed making breads and cakes. He missed the familiarity of going in and working every morning.
He moved away from the window before anyone could see him lingering. He just wanted a normal life again. This was not what he wanted. He selfishly wanted many things. He wanted food. He wanted a home. He wanted...her. Frustrated, he continued on his walk and found himself in the town square. He saw a group of his old friends talking. They noticed him approaching and quieted down, avoiding eye contact.
"Hey, Mellark!" One of them called. It was Daniel. They weren't good friends, but they had been friendly. Peeta eyed him warily.
"How's life in your part of town?" He said your part of town as if it was lesser than his. Peeta rolled his eyes.
"Same as always," he said with a tight smile and turned away.
"Got a job yet, baker boy? Can't find work without mommy to help you?" The other guys laughed while Peeta clenched his fists. They had no idea what they were talking about.
"Do you think now that you aren't doing the flowers on the pretty cakes you could do something useful and work in the mines with the rest of the Seam?"
"I'm not Seam," he muttered. He didn't even know why he was arguing that point. He technically was at this point. But he wouldn't be accepted by either society.
"Maybe you have a chance with the Seam girls now, Mellark," one of them smirked. "Maybe that one girl, what's her name? Katniss? Oh wait, even she's with Gale isn't she? Guess there's no one left for you..."
Peeta struggled to keep his mouth shut. It made him so angry that they considered Katniss to be the least of the girls they could think of. How could they not know what a pure angel she was?
"Shut up," he said quietly.
"What was that?"
"I said shut up."
"Oooh, I'm scared Mellark, real scared bread boy." The crowd laughed and Peeta wanted to punch them all. But he didn't. He turned and walked away while they called behind him.
"Looks like he's the one who's scared!"
"Too afraid to throw real punches?"
"Keep walking buddy, you're not gettin anywhere!"
They're not worth it. There was only one person who was worth it. One person who didn't even know who he was, one person who avoided him after he tried to help her by giving her bread. But he couldn't fault her. He couldn't fault anyone. It was how they were raised, to discriminate. He was just an example of what they were raised to hate.
It was almost too much for him. He wished there were truly kind people in the world. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate; and at that moment he realized just how malnourished he was. In his aimless wandering he had found himself in the Seam, and he was able to take one look around before collapsing, from the combination of lack of nutrients and mental stability.
His vision started to fade. He frowned. This was not how he wanted this to go. He didn't notice the black haired girl who had been watching him and saw him fall. He didn't notice her run towards him tentatively but urgently. But as his eyes went completely dark, he saw her. He tried saying her name, but nothing would come out. He could only think it as he slipped into unconsciousness.
Katniss.
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Short intro chapter, let me know if you want me to continue! I love hearing reviews!
Merra